Appetite for Enigma
by Cooper Writer Crafter
Summary: A college professor changed her life when she found out that he is a world famous detective who investigates high profile cases. She gets thrust in his world of deception and espionage. LXOC AU CANCELLED.
1. Lectures with Cake

**XXX**

**:Appetite for Enigma:**

**XXX**

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_When men are boring, he appears in the picture_

_With his mental riddles and erratic childish displays_

_He loves me not in the way I want but in the only way he could_

_He is dangerous when safe_

_He is my autistic charmer L Lawliet._

_-A Cooper Prose-_

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**Lectures on bar with cake**

I walked to him with all the courage I mastered within myself. It's been half an hour since I've been pulled to him and I keep longing for the chance to approach him to tell him that he is all I want. It was a preposterous state of mind but I let it take over me. I took immense pleasure watching in the corner unnoticed but one must not indulge in such terrible fantasy without acknowledging the great possibilities of reality. So with an enthusiasm I only get when I'm absolutely turned on, I walked towards his place, my eyes not wandering from other male companions. I wasn't altogether confident but there's something strangely attractive about him and I, myself, felt lucky that I found him first. Indeed this is true since I seemed to be the only girl in the bar who paid the slightest bit of attention to him. Describing him as odd isn't enough. He was no ordinary person and as I got closer, my observations from afar have been correct all along.

He was pale as a ghost. That's exactly how you could describe his complexion. His skin was pasty white and smooth. He has these large dark eyes with shadowy circles under them indicating that he might be insomniac. His hair was more than just unkempt and unruly, but rather it was a big mess, as if it went uncombed for years. He looks unsanitary for those reasons given. I was still wondering why I was attracted to him and then I saw him eat. Yes, it was a fascinating sight. He held things by the tips of his fingers, the index and the thumb. He mixed his coffee holding the spoon that way. I also noticed the amount of sugar cubes he placed in his drink, maybe a dozen of them. He was also surrounded with three samples of cake, three slices each. I was astounded at this because if a person consumes such high levels of glucose then he might as well be a diabetic or morbidly obese. But this man was skinny and gaunt, almost languid in the way his hands and body moved. He sat with his feet on top of the chair, his knees pressing against his chin. He sat like that since I started watching him and I wondered how he retained such a convoluted position.

I was really drawn to him. I get the feeling he was different from all the muscle-headed, testosterone masochists I meet in the bar scene for almost two months now. He's a peculiar character therefore he's sure to be interesting.

So here I am, approaching him intently. I wondered what could be the best pick-up line to use but since I have what you can call a blatantly spontaneous sensual appeal, I decided to go straight to my point.

"I love the way you lick your spoon," was the statement that came out of my mouth. Before I have the impulse to beat my head against the table in front of me, he looked at me with those pools of dark ink and continued biting on his spoon like an innocent child.

"I suppose that you haven't enjoyed a slice of blueberry cheesecake if that's the case. Anybody who has tasted a slice will find the urge of licking the spoon as you pointed out." He said with a deep, polite voice that was surprising for his appearance. His gestures were that of a real gentleman of the highest breeding; a mix of street punk and corporate working man. It was such a conflicting combination of personalities and gait that I was inclined to sit across from him. His eyes remained on me the whole time, waiting for me to lay down my intentions.

"I think you're cute," I said again with a shy smile, debating whether I will come out strong and handle the business with a seductive charm, or play it cool, like a curious girl engaging in platonic flirtation.

"Thank you," he courteously replied, taking another bite from his cake, eyes still fixed upon me with such placidity.

"Do you mind if I chat with you?"

"Just as long as you do not bore me."

"Then we don't have a problem." I began, "You strike me as the type of man who only came here for his sweets and not to encourage a one-night stand with a complete stranger. You're not in a relationship but could enjoy female company if you'll be allowed to. You have an impressive breeding and have a casual way through conversations, making it interesting for yourself as well as the one you are speaking to. My name is Francesca."

I extended my hand, surprised on how coolly I relayed my hour-long observations about him. He took my hand and shook it feebly. Then he put down his spoon and proceeded biting his thumb instead. I seemed to be successful in catching his attention.

"You're quite clever for your age," he said after a long period of silence. "You are, I believe, to be only seventeen but with the way you carry yourself, you might seem older and experienced. Boys your age bore you and so you look for excitement in the places you shouldn't go."

"You're not only cute but you seem to possess an intelligence that I rarely find in men these days," I beamed at him. "I think I would be pleased to be acquainted with you. But tell me, what is your name?"

"L." He replied, slicing his cake with the fork and eating it wholeheartedly.

"Like the letter?"

"Yes."

"You're puzzling," I giggled. "If I may be bold to say, I think I want to try you."

His eyes rounded of mocked, mild curiosity but I can tell he's conniving and sharp as a blade. "I wish you not to leave me with a vague impression, but did you just ask me to stay with you longer than is expected?"

"Yes."

"You told me that I have a particular dislike for one-night stands and you're correct about that assumption," he said, putting his index finger just slightly between his lips, eyes now glistening in anticipation. "In addition to that, you're a minor and I am in my twenties which would make our rendezvous a line not to be crossed."

"I always wanted to know what's on the other side," I teased, smiling comfortably at him. "And you seem to be just the man who could allow me to explore."

"You're mistaken with that," he sipped his coffee, eyeing the hot substance with a steady stare. "But since you're amusing me greatly, I will let you play your games with me and will not mind."

"I do ask that you participate in these games you say I'm playing."

"Most certainly if it entertains me."

I stood up and walked outside without saying a word. I stayed there for almost five minutes, patiently waiting without a single trace of doubt he will not turn me down. And I was lucky again because he came out minutes after, hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans. He wore a long-sleeved white shirt that revealed his scrawny figure. He wore untied rubber shoes. He hunched as he walked towards me, movements seemingly sluggish but his gaze was shockingly intense.

"I expect a good reason that you brought me here," his voice was deep and engaging but his face was devoid of all emotion. I leaned closer to him and pressed my lips against his unresponsive mouth. I pulled away seconds after and smiled at him.

"I only have good intentions," I said softly. "But have nasty actions to show them."

He was pleased with that as he continued to look at me blankly. His body language was easier to read now. When he tries to hide his facial reaction, I know I plucked a string inside him and I was playing my cards right. I walked away from him again and he followed soon after. I stopped at a corner rarely touched by the street lamp's light.

"L," I said his name in a sultry manner. "Why don't you come here and I will tell you a secret."

He willingly walked towards me, our shadows not even visible because of the absence of illumination. Through the darkness I could still see those hazy ebony eyes piercing me, reading me like an open book.

I placed my arms around his waist and he didn't object to that. I said against his lips, "I'm simple-minded. All I want is games and get what I want in the end."

He chuckled at that to my surprise. When I pressed my lips again to his, I was also surprised that he met it with eagerness. His lips were dry but warm, scalding my brainwaves in a violent fervor of flame. I held onto him. His hands remained at his pockets and I could tell his eyes were open, regarding me curiously.

I pulled his body against mine as tightly as I could, closing the final space between us. When I parted my lips slightly to allow my tongue to lick his lips, he parted his own as well, waiting for my tongue to just slip through into his mouth. And then when our tongues met in a breathless encounter, my whole body exploded from the sensation. We kissed gently and slowly, tasting every corner, sucking each other's air just for the sake of it. His saliva tasted sweet and sticky and I could taste the flavor of the cake he has recently eaten.

He drew his mouth away and spoke with a clear voice that cut through the oblivion. "You're not of simple mind. Your games are worth playing as well."

I knew I've won. The victory was mine and I earned it.

He pulled himself away from me completely.

"L," I inquired. "I can tell that this will only be the first time. There will be many more to come."

"Yes," he answered, scratching his head lazily. "This is the start of many promising things in the future. Consider it a commencement to our rendezvous."

"And here I thought we won't cross the line," I smiled wickedly.

Even in the darkness I could tell he smiled too, "Young lady, when you turn eighteen, we shall talk about crossing the line."

We walked back to the bar together, sitting at same table. He ordered more cakes. I decided to allow myself this sweet treat. I sat opposite him, maintaining my cool composure. He was listening attentively to my stories about my life as a freshman college student as he ate his cake without saying a word. When I was discussing the boy I'm sleeping with for almost two weeks without any kind of relationship, L took a slice from my own plate and put it inside his mouth. He chewed on it slowly while keeping his eyes on me the whole time.

"By any means, you did break it off with him, didn't you?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "Mostly, he just comes by when he wants sex, then doesn't call me or meet me after that. I guess he only comes to me when he needs it."

"You let yourself be used like that because you are bored."

I smiled. He was free of all the worthless machismo and arrogant judgments. He didn't tell me I was a pathetic whore or degrade me in any way. He simply proposed the idea of boredom in my situation and to which I was forced to ease it by occasional doses of sexual deviancy. I really love the inner workings of this man's mind.

"Yes," I replied, eating a slice of cake. "I was quite bored."

"Boredom is an enemy of those who seek mental approval." L said, biting the spoon between his teeth in an absentminded fashion. "The medicine has not been found to fully cure it but there are therapies of the body that tone it down a bit."

"Therapies of the body?" I teased. He smiled slightly at that, eyes still hollow and blank.

"You find a way to insert innuendoes into our conversation," he remarked. "It is quite fascinating how you do it."

I laughed. "You are begging to be fascinated so I couldn't resist the challenge."

"Humor me, young lady."

He called me 'young lady' so many times now that I found it pretty irritating. I went on to do what he asked, however improbable it was.

"Have you slept with anyone in your entire life?" I asked in a whisper, leaning myself a little closer.

He stared and said. "It really is none of your business."

"Do tell," I teased some more. "Since you now have a clear picture of me and I'm very sure that I do not bore you, in what principle would you hold the information back?"

"A principle called 'none of your business.'"

I gave another try, "Would it hurt you to answer a 'yes' or 'no' to that question, L?"

"The question is hardly important," he went on. "What is important to me is your intention for asking. As you said to me before, you have ulterior motives under your sleeves all the time. The circumstances leading to that conclusion would be the fact that you approached me and blatantly proclaimed that you wanted me to have sex with you. When I declined your generous offer, you resorted to the option of kissing you. And after you acquired that, you sit here and eat my cakes and then you make me listen to your teenage drama. When you think you have me wrapped around your finger, you threw a random personal question, hoping you could figure me out."

L played with his coffee by putting more sugar cubes in it. "Yet you also know that I will discover you and catch you red-handed. You couldn't resist the challenge and that is the very reason why you asked that question anyway."

I stayed quiet for a while and then I said, "It's just a yes-no question. And I am not that complicated. I'm a simple mind."

He looked at me sharply. "Don't insult your intellectual faculties. That is the very reason why I agreed on kissing you. I don't kiss a woman whose mental state is that of idiocy. I kissed you for the sole reason that you're a woman of substance. I kissed you because you didn't show me you're some dumb bimbo who wants a mere moment of carnal gratification. You showed me that you plan to play a game with me and you want to win it."

I tried to hide the fact that I was flattered and said, "And your answer to my earlier question, L?"

"The answer, young lady, is no."

He enjoyed that. He liked the fact that he taunted me with all that overwhelming deduction. I found myself caught up in hating this man for his guts. I have never been so embarrassed that he saw right through my act. But I was relieved that I found a formidable playmate.

"Now let us go back to the topic at hand," he said, finishing his cake. "You have a sexual partner who believed he was the one in control when in reality you're the one who has the strings attached."

"That's a good way to put it," I smiled. "But don't you think I am the one who is victimized here?"

"You wanted to be victimized."

"I beg your pardon?"

L's eyes glistened once again. "Like you said before, you're bored. We both know that to you, having a meaningless act of sex is a way to escape boredom. So you practically allowed him to use you although you're the one getting the most pleasure by watching him think he gets the pleasure. It is an entertaining display of power, young lady."

"So you are attracted to me because I'm the devilish kind?"

L chuckled at that and pondered for a moment before responding, "The world is tainted with fools and their technology. They're mindless and relentlessly stupid. They like the comfort of their bodies and they forget that to people like us, ultimate orgasm is rare. An orgasmic moment to us is, by our own definition, finding the right combination of mental strategies to reach the climax of sexual needs."

"You're telling me that you will fuck a woman for her?" I laughed at that but it made painful sense.

"And you do not think so?" he spread his hands apart in a dramatic gesture. "Would it not turn you on to find a partner that perceives your actions and processes them as a way that he or she could communicate with you on levels of ruthless synchronization?"

"But you forget one thing," I leaned against the table and raised an eyebrow, "Sex is not a perfection of technique but rather an expression of desire."

"There is that logic," he just wouldn't give up. "Examine it with careful ease though, young lady. Sex is a glorious act of unifying two vessels into one. It is fornication. It is essential to human life and energy. But how could you reach the orgasm that your body badly needs when your mind refuses to cooperate to reach that goal? Mental orgasm is quite, at the very least, the most important type of all."

I couldn't help but grin. His intellect turns me on far more than any type of man who works out to improve his muscle structure.

L went on, ignoring the fact that he was lecturing to the whole bar now, and that people are listening to every word that he was saying, even those brain dead D-cup girls who can't comprehend.

"Sex is indeed an expression of desire!" he stood up now, looking down at me with enthusiasm. "Sex is a perfection of technique as well! Just think about it, young lady: two bodies in that simultaneous explosion of passion; their bodies and minds one with the other. They've expressed their desire and with that they have perfected the most difficult technique. They've became lost in the moment they forgot that what they did was nothing but a chore. It was meaningful and the molecules of their beings found benefits from it but nonetheless, they saw it as a simple chore. That's how ignorant human beings are to be given with such a gift."

"So you believe then, my fine gentleman, that love is chemistry, not just a feeling." I challenged.

"Love is not a simple matter," he sat in his weird position again. "If you will listen a little more, then I'll tell you this: Love is only found by those who seek the best kind there is. If you settle for the weak slob passing by, or accept the dreary moment that you're okay with the least available goods in the market, then it is your loss!"

I leaned closer, almost knocking down the mug in front of me. This is beginning to get better than I expected. "Then what about those who claim that it is love at first sight?"

L looked up dreamily and then looked back at me with the same intensity in his gaunt features. "I actually believe in that theory."

"You believe in soul mates?"

"I believe we truly love someone for only once in our life span."

I thought about that and then asked. "Have you ever fallen in love?"

"No," he replied immediately, looking deeply into me and smiling genuinely in his catlike fashion. "Young lady, I thank you for this wonderful dinner we've shared."

"I hardly call it dinner."

"Though it was enjoyable."

"And commendable for all the unexplained reasons."

He extended his hand this time, smiling catlike, the light from above us reflected in his eyes. I was drawn and pulled to him like gravity. It was a sickening feeling. It was wonderful.

I remained standing there, lost in the moment, and he chuckled and told me in a hushed voice, "We reached the same level of mental orgasm, did we not?"

I blushed at that remark and then I let out a comfortable smile myself. The people in the bar were still listening to our conversation although I could tell from their faces that our language differed from their own.

"Yes," I finally wrapped my fingers around his hand to shake firmly as I kept our eyes locked. "This is the best sex I've ever had."


	2. Lectures with Banana

**A/N:I thank thee greatly, ****EnpatsuShakugan-Shana**** and I offer you this whole story from now on. Accept this as a gift from a humble writer to a kind reader:**

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_"Is it not that we accomplish less from what we want more_

_And want less from what we have already accomplished?_

_LOVE testifies to that awful irony, does it not?"_

_-A Cooper Saying-_

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**Lectures in Class with banana**

Unbelievable.

I'd recognize those untied rubber shoes anywhere. The problem is I never in a million years would think I'd see them in my classroom. It was the usual boring day at my university and I have ways to deal with it. I started my second year three months ago and, unlike my freshman days, I'm more relaxed with my environment. Too relaxed, perhaps, since I'm getting bored at the very least. Besides screwing around with the same guy, I'm becoming more preoccupied with the fact that somebody has already seen through my disguise. I was momentarily daydreaming about him as I sat there in my classroom among people I don't even talk to, when the noise decreased by a pair of scrunching feet that entered from outside. I glanced slightly at the visitor and was taken aback. What I first saw was the untied rubber shoes that looked like they have never been washed. As my eyes slowly rose up to the owner of those horrible shoes, I stifled a gasp.

"Good morning," the person said to the whole class said, biting his thumb, with his eyes reflecting the sleepy state I ultimately recognized. "I'm L Lawliet. I will be your Social Studies teacher for this year."

The heavens are fickle!

Amy raised her hand immediately. We called her 'the prissy suck up'. "Sir, how will we be addressing you?"

"Just call me Prof. L." The man stood up like he didn't like to. He looked at each face inside the room languidly.

"Are you really our professor?" Trey finally blurted out while everyone was thinking about it. "You don't look like you can teach us anything about Social Studies."

A few murmured and giggled at the very appearance of the man. He wasn't offended but replied instead. "I didn't come here to make a good impression. It seems to me that no matter how I try to do so, people will always think of the opposite as I want them to think."

He jumped to the teacher's table and sat in his own weird way; feet raised up to his knees that reach the length of his chest. He rested his palms on either knee and looked at us steadily. "You can only manipulate someone by messing with their heads for a long period of time. That is, of course, if you can handle such activity."

He looked at Amy and said, "Tell me, Miss..."

"Amy."

"Miss Amy," L continued, "Do you make it a habit of keeping notes in your diary that I presume were written observations every time you meet people? Is it your way to look smart and appealing to those around you because they think you are a bit of intelligent? As I have pointed out, people will always think of the opposite as you want them to think. In your case, the principle holds true."

He held out a hand. "Please give me your notebook, Miss Amy."

Amy bit her lip and walked towards our new professor. She handed him the notebook.

L looked at her with a bemused look on his face. He held the notebook by the tip of his index and thumb finger and said, "the truth is you want them to think you are lonely and who wants company yet the message you send is you're a snobbish little thing."

Amy was about to open her mouth but L kept talking to the whole class. "My very first impression of her is she's classy and can think of the appropriate social response anytime. Though I also observed that she's as insecure as any young woman her age, that being nineteen. Am I correct, Miss Amy?"

"Yes, sir, but—"

"She politely conversed with me when all of you are either shocked or too engrossed making fun of my appearance," L rested his eyes on Trey who looked down unwillingly. "Miss Amy shows her independence through making the first move first. She is, however, an attention-seeker, an alpha female who gets off from constant attention, be it wanted or unwanted. After a while she gets confused with how she really wants herself to be noticed. Therefore this may lead to disturbing behaviors, perhaps—"

L handed her back the notebook. "Do you drink too much?"

Amy said nothing. Her face looked like it was going to melt. L continued discussing, this time facing her. "You handed me your diary not out of respect and obedience but out of the fact that you enjoy that I am paying attention to you as well as the rest of the class. Miss Amy, it is very nice to meet your acquaintance. Please do not be embarrassed and angry at my inspections about your character. Please take a seat."

Amy was too humiliated to say anything else so she got back to her seat. Nobody in the class spoke. I was amused greatly of his impact on my classmates so I kept silent and let him do some more mesmerizing.

L pointed at Trey. "And your name is?"

"Trey, sir."

"Are you an athlete, Mister Trey?"

"Yes, sir. I am the captain of the basketball team, sir."

L smiled slightly. "Impressive. You're here for scholarship, are you not?"

"Yes, I am, sir."

"Tell me the importance of winning, Mister Trey."

Trey looked at our professor in disbelief and then he cleared his throat. "Well, sir, in my experience, winning every goal, not only in a game in sports but also in real life, is very important especially to a young person like me."

"What do you aspire to become, Mister Trey?"

"I want to be an international player, sir."

L nodded and took something from the little bag he was pulling around. It was a banana. We all stared at it and waited for him to say anything else.

"Interesting aspiration." L pointed a banana at Amy and said, "Take this, Miss Amy."

Amy did. And then L started speaking to Trey again. "You induce authority on such games like basketball. Territory is very essential to you and you will do anything to protect it. You will keep building fences so adversaries will not be allowed to trespass. Of course you can handle teamwork very well. You can get along with other players. But the mind of an athlete is a self-centered mind. You're always the winner. You apply the same principle in personal relationships. You surround your goal and then you shoot to score high points."

He walked around, keeping his eyes on Trey. "You don't really give a crap about what you're hearing from me now. Your defense mechanism is to assault back with rumors. I assume that once you get out of the classroom, you will call me names behind my back. You couldn't confront an enemy in your life that easily unlike your enemy in court. You tend to sting yourself. You tend to become a coward whose only purpose is to keep winning or it will lead to your own social demise."

He spoke with such eloquence and composure that I allowed myself to smile silently. He still has that appeal.

Trey said nothing for a minute and then he remarked. "You're very observant, sir. You must also know that once a person gets my respect, I refrain from the immature acts you pointed out. You have my respect now, Prof. L."

"Be that as it may," L took another banana. "I will still keep an eye on you in case you do want to hit me outside the school. I must also warn you that I'm not as incapable of violence because I look like this. I'm a fighter just like you, Mister Trey. Please have a banana."

"Thank you, sir." Trey took it and said no more.

Amy still stared down at her banana and looked like she was in another dimension.

Our professor started speaking again. "These will be the two of the many observations I will make on each individual in this room. Now since three of these people had the privilege of my scrutiny, I advised everyone that you shouldn't be that nervous of me. I'm not a terror teacher. I'm your Social Studies professor who was hired just an hour ago."

The murmurs gradually developed. L kept his placidity intact. "I got this job because of my reputation back in England. Yes, I'm British. I can teach a particular subject since this is not my first time to educate the youth."

He sat back on the table again in his own weird way. "I have an exercise for all of you, young hopefuls. Today's lesson is summarized in one adage: **NOTHING IS REAL. EVERYTHING IS PERCEPTION**."

The whole class took their notebooks to write that down. L continued speaking. "From this day on, I will be teaching you unconventional means of being an individual to your own standards and not just advertised products by the society. I want you to write down your whole perception about yourselves in this day and age. Tell me everything and don't hold back. As I showed you just this hour, I can see through facades and break them so don't lie to me. You'll only shame yourselves. But if you want to communicate with me through secret codes, be assured that I can figure them out."

L finally brought his eyes to meet mine. "Miss Francesca, welcome to my class."

They all turned to look at me. I kept my gaze steady on his, smiling agreeably.

"I want you to work on that activity now but the submission will be tomorrow." L said, still regarding me smoothly. "Tomorrow I shall call two people from this class and give them banana after I scrutinize them. Miss Amy, Mister Trey, please eat your bananas. They're scrupulously given to you."

Amy and Trey looked at each other and then peeled the skin of their fruits silently as the class started writing down.

L sat back on the table and said nothing. I wasn't writing anything but my attention was clearly fixed on him. He noticed it and looked back at me.

"Prof. L." I called out. Some of the students looked at me.

"Yes, Miss Francesca?"

"You have pointed out to me on our recent meeting that I'm sleeping around with somebody whom I don't really have feelings for."

"Yes, my dear, I did."

"Here is a challenge for you," I leaned, anticipating. "Will you be able to tell among these gentlemen who is the fellow we talked about?"

The whole place stayed still.

"Yes, of course." L turned his gaze towards the culprit. I smiled widely when he knew all along whom it was. "It is that man sitting three rows behind Miss Amy, wearing a red sweater."

The boy in question looked up like a deer caught in headlights.

I leaned back against my chair and started writing, feeling contented and refreshed from the naked boredom of existence. I wrote:

_You're a fine piece of work, my dear L. Things will be interesting from now on._


	3. Lectures with Honeyflavored cookies

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_We've encountered truths buried in lies _

_And lies wrapped themselves on truths_

_Sometimes in loveless times we seek to find love too_

_And once sought, love leaves a scent _

_In which its captives never stopped hoping it will take them away._

_-A Cooper Saying-_

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**Lectures inside the classroom with honey-flavored cookies**

I couldn't help but laugh directly to his face. His reaction was really humorous and even though it appears as if I've turned into a nut job, I couldn't bring myself to care and stop laughing. His face was bright red and he gripped my arm so forcefully. He was shocked to find out that I wasn't threatened by his immature display of machismo and violence. I just kept laughing.

"Why the hell did you tell him about us?" he asked menacingly.

I tried to keep a straight face as I replied, "It was a good topic to discuss."

"What is so amusing about us sleeping together?"

I thought about that and then grinned. "First of all, it's the only sex I'm having these past few weeks and Prof. L is a good friend of mine. I can tell him personal stuff."

"So you knew this guy before?" he eyed him sharply. "Did you sleep with him?"

The grin stayed on my face. "Not yet."

"What?"

"I intend to sleep with him."

"You dirty whore," he pushed me on the wall and left angrily. I was still laughing like a retard. Several students looked at me questioningly but they decided that it really was nothing that concerns them.

"You shouldn't have pissed him off," I turned around and saw Nicoline frowning slightly as she walked towards me. She was my friend since high school and my college roommate.

"Oh come on," I took her by the arm and we started walking, "You're sick of us doing it in our space, right? So if I broke up with him--"

"He's not even your boyfriend," she rolled her eyes. "You're not even in a real relationship."

"He's darn good in bed," I sighed. "Although recently, he has been boring me. Last time we did it, he wasn't really into it. He was just thrusting and then when we came he just rolled over and dozed off like a real man."

"Please don't go into further details," she made a face.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not my fault that you're still a virgin."

"And I plan to stay that way until I get married."

"You're too old-fashioned," I let go of her arm and started walking away from her. She kept up with my pace until we're walking side by side again.

"So you know our professor before?"

"I met him last year," I answered, looking at the flowers that bloomed so pretty around the pathway. "It was casual and brief."

"So in that casual and brief conversation you talked about sex?" Nicoline looked at me as if I just crapped on the floor. "Can't you think of anything else to talk about?"

"What's wrong about sex?" I gave her a bemused look. "Nic, you have to socialize with real people sometimes and get in the scene. Studying is taking too much of your extra time. You're not going to fail any subject. You can at least enjoy."

Nicoline shook her head. "I really have to maintain my grades."

"You're a moron, you know that?"

"That is your opinion alone," she raised her chin up proudly and adjusted her glasses. "Let us end this conversation. We have to go see him again."

I nodded as we approached the building.

Then she asked, "So what do you think of Prof. L?"

"Eccentric and appealing." We entered the classroom and took our seats. L wasn't here yet. I watched Amy sitting in the first row as she always does and wondered how she was doing after yesterday's brutal interrogation.

"Have you finished the homework?" Nicoline asked me.

"Kind of," I snatched her paper as fast as I could and she didn't even react until I was already reading the first four lines.

"Cheska!" She tried to take it away from me. "That's personal! Give it back!"

When she finally got the paper back, the whole class heard the door open and he finally entered the room in his usual gait. He didn't look at any of us. He went straight to the teacher's table and rested his head above it. It seemed like he has fallen asleep. Nobody moved or said anything. I rolled my eyes and stood up from, crossing rows before I finally got to him. I lowered myself to whisper in his ear. "L? What happened to you?"

He just groaned weakly and turned to look at me.

"You have a class to teach," I said sharply. He waved me off with a hand and went back to sleeping. I sighed and tried again.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"I discovered that alcohol and sugar should not mix." L replied vaguely. "The effects are just mind-bending."

I laughed quietly at that and asked, "Who were you drinking with?"

"None of your business, young lady."

"Wake up," I answered irritably. "You can't do this right now. Do you want to be suspended? If they find out that you're drunk--"

He placed a finger in my lips and burped. Half of the class laughed.

Then he finally pushed himself off the table and stood up. He didn't look tipsy but was definitely experiencing headache. His eyebrows were knitted together and his speech was a little slur.

"Please bring out your homework."

The class submitted it by row. I was about to take a seat when L said, "Miss Francesca will be assisting me in reading your essays about yourself. She has extraordinary gifts in scrutinizing people. I'm sure you wouldn't mind."

He surveyed the room and his eyes stayed on a certain blonde whose lovely legs were crossed. She was wearing bright red boots, a white tank top and a leather mini skirt. I hid a smile. He will start with his mental exercise again.

"Miss?" he called out. "What is your name?"

"Tawny," she replied in a sultry voice, holding his stare.

L smiled without mirth and said to the blonde girl, "How many boyfriends?"

She raised an eyebrow and teased him. "Hard to keep track."

The professor nodded as he took the pile of homework and handed them to me. I put it down on the table and went back to my seat. I kept my eyes on L and Tawny the whole time.

"I pray to god he won't call me," Nicoline remarked as I sat beside her.

"You'll be fine." I elbowed her slightly.

"Miss Tawny," L began speaking, his voice was clearer now and his eyes lit in merriment. "Did you lose your virginity at a very young age?"

"I was fourteen, so yes." Tawny smiled at him in her seductive way. L just stared and bit his thumb.

"What kind of girl goes around sleeping with boys when she is already engaged?"

Tawny's jaw dropped and then she asked, "What are you talking about?"

"I know you're not wearing any ring," L explained. "But I also know that you're engaged to be married by force because of your behavioral pattern. You're a free spirit. You like your freedom and you hated being tied down."

"That is right, sir." Tawny gave him a smoldering look.

"I also concluded, Miss Tawny that you sleep around for the sake of getting even with your parents because of the arranged marriage," L added.

"You hardly know me but how come you know that?" Tawny inquired. "Are you spying on me?"

"I based all my conclusions from your behavior," L replied. "I saw you yesterday with the company of three men and I found it interesting. But rest assured I didn't follow you. I just keep observing you when you happen to just pass by me. And right now I got to prove my observations about you as true since you're reacting in a way I expected."

She giggled and uncrossed her legs. The boys in class ogled at her except our professor. I even ogled at those legs of hers so I don't blame the guys.

"Tell me more about your observations," Tawny purred.

L looked around him and looked as though he was reluctant to speak and then he addressed the whole class, "Once you are in my class, I want you make a promise. Raise your right hand."

We all looked at each other and decided to obey. When we raised our hands, L raised his own and said, "Now repeat after me: Upon my word, I, state your name, will keep all the secrets that will be revealed in Professor L Lawliet's class. It will not reach any outside soul of this classroom. It will be buried in my grave. I will not insult, humiliate or damage the reputation of my fellow classmate in this class. If word gets out and once my professor traces it back to me, I will be suspended for a month in this university. I promise to be good, to eat my vegetables and to be happy. So help me god."

When we have recited this entertaining oath between giggles and gasps, we put down our hands and listened to what he says next. He took something from his bag. It was a plate of cookies. He asked it to be passed around and for us to eat one. While we took one and ate it heartily, he stared at all of us blankly, waiting for the plate to come back to him. I stared at the honey-flavored cookie before finishing it. Then I turned my attention back to L.

"Miss Tawny," he rested his eyes pensively on the pretty blonde. "Were you molested when you were younger?"

The silence was deafening. There was a mix of facial reactions and confusion. Tawny stiffened. She looked at L with her eyes piercing through him. Nobody dared to breathe or comment. We were trapped inside a game.

"You son of a bitch!" Tawny said, fists clenched and teeth chattering.

L frowned. "We will talk about this now. We will show the world. You will be freed from this turmoil."

"Who gives you the goddamn right to prosecute me, you bastard!" Tawny stood up as she was spitting out the words. Her eyes were watering.

"I'm terribly sorry but it must be done." L lowered his gaze. "I can assure you that if you speak now, you will not be ashamed anymore. Nobody will judge you."

The whole class was giving nervous glances at our professor. Some are protesting silently to this kind of discussion. Some were looking at Tawny with pity written upon their faces. The boys who were ogling at her before felt ashamed of themselves and looked down at their hands instead.

"You asshole!" Tawny walked towards L. " What the hell are you trying to prove? Do you think you could just come here and ask me something so horrible? You know what, fuck you!"

She started sobbing violently. L took her by the shoulders to prevent her from falling to the floor. Tawny pushed him away. Trey stood up from where he is and asked, "What is the point of exposing us to this, sir?" His voice was polite but he was obviously angry.

L looked at Tawny complacently and replied, "We are comfortable around the fences we built. We thought that nobody could rip them down. Once it does happen, we lose it and we hurt ourselves."

"This is preposterous!" Amy stood up too and eyed L angrily. "What bearing does it have in our subject? You 're just hurting the poor girl."

"What is he doing?" Nicoline asked me but I said nothing.

I knew what L was doing. I can read his mind and I know that this would get interesting. I decided to watch how he is going to handle it.

L knelt down in front of Tawny and whispered something to her. At first she refused to listen but after some time, she bit her lip and looked at L mildly with her eyes swollen from crying. L took her hand and helped her to stand up. Then he faced the class with a frozen look of determination in his face.

"I have an unconventional teaching style," he said to all of us. "I know that you will detest my methods of educating you. This lesson that you will learn for today is very important. We're too cozy with our lives that we forget the buried scars of lives untold. Miss Tawny's life is untold and she had been already dead as she is with us right now, living a life composed of lies. We do that. We ignore things. We take them for granted. Today I want you to keep this in your minds: Life is living and not dying while you are living. For all of us who bear witness to the tragedy of a fellow classmate's life, I only ask for you to attain consciousness in this serious matter and instead of putting aside this revelation, allow it to flow through you as you experience the pain. Allow it to sharpen your perception of the world. You're no longer chained to infinite and torturous lies. Today we will speak of truth. Today you will hear Tawny's story."

L took a step back and Tawny began to speak. When she told everybody and confessed all the things she let herself be condemned to, all of us were relieved that the grief was uplifted and we saw things differently from that moment on. The skins were shredded and the iron curtains were drawn.

**NOTHING IS REAL. EVERYTHING IS PERCEPTION.**

The bell rang from the hallway. We applauded without cue after Tawny finished. It was like a beautiful final performance of her life. Tawny hugged L tightly and thanked him. L handed her another honey-flavored cookie and she took it with a gratified smile. It was weird that a total stranger saved her life.

Right at that specific time and space, we were filled by a nameless emotion that made us seem vulnerable yet we are not afraid of that anymore.

"Prof. L?" Trey called as we all began to leave the class, whispering excitedly of the discovery in our hearts.

"Yes, boy?"

"I'm looking forward for the next meeting." He grinned.

L smiled back and nodded his head.

I asked Nicoline to wait for me outside. When there was only L and I inside the empty classroom, I raised an eyebrow at him and said solemnly, "You're never boring."

He smiled and bit his thumb, looking at me with those dark pools of ink.

"Young lady, we just commenced a new chapter in your school life."


	4. Lectures with Cinnamon buns

**A/N: Fanfiction was fucked up these last few days. I was so excited to update chapters from my stories and it was just messed up pretty bad. I am glad that it's working now. I almost slashed my wrists. I was crying hard that it was really pathetic. This is the life I have. I have no sleep anymore. I sleep two hours a day and that's it. I am pretty much a zombie now. I am a writer who stays at home for the rest of March and still doing it up to the present. So yeah, I was morbidly depressed. Anyway, good thing I wasn't pressured to do chapters so I finally had two updated already. Enjoy.**

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_He called her beautiful; He called her sorts of things_

_The one thing that struck her most is he never called her anything less_

_She couldn't see him grieve, couldn't see he's mystified_

_She grows more of a reality even he couldn't speak for._

_-A Cooper Prose-_

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**Lectures inside the janitor's closet with cinnamon buns**

It was a Saturday afternoon when I opened the door and met the drowsy dark eyes of my Social Studies professor L Lawliet. He smiled crookedly and I grinned, trying to hide my surprise but when it comes with him, you have to believe he has many ways to surprise you in varying circumstances.

"Young lady."

"Prof. L."

"Is George with you now?"

"As a matter a fact, he is."

He cocked his head to one side and said childishly, "Was it any good today?"

I laughed. George appeared behind me and cared not to hide his dismay when he saw who the visitor was but he managed to nod politely and greet L, "good afternoon."

"Is there something you need, professor?"

L gave a small smile with his eyes on George the whole time. My sexual partner (that's the only appropriate way to call him) felt intimidated and decided to put on his shirt as he said, "I see that Prof. L has some matter to discuss with you in private. I will see you again, Chez."

I nodded as he kissed my forehead and left.

"So," I leaned my hand on the door. "What business brings you here?"

L raised a bundle of papers from behind him. "Homework. I need you to help me check them. I told you about this on our last meeting. You didn't think I wasn't serious, did you?"

I sighed unhappily. "It's a weekend."

"It's a day for a college professor to read essays." L looked at me from head to foot. "Impressive. The color blends beautifully in your tan skin. It makes you appear luminous. I've always liked white."

"You like lingerie too?"

He thought about it as he moved his eyes up the ceiling. "I never really thought about that yet. I will ponder upon it as we stay inside Randy's closet this afternoon."

"Randy? The janitor?"

"You know him then," he licked his parched lips and smiled. "So be decent now, my dear. We are going to explore many minds today."

Grudgingly, I obliged to his kind request. As I was tying my rubber shoes, he looked intently at me. I was bent so when I tried looking at him, I only saw his own rubber shoes that were still dirty and with the laces untied.

"Need help with that?" I smiled.

"You are very observant," he frowned at his footwear. "I have no time to do such a tiresome thing."

"You're just going to tie your shoes."

"Again, I don't want to sound redundant but for the sake of such stupid reference, I must disagree and tell you that tying the laces is really a tiresome thing."

"It was not a stupid reference," I said as I proceeded tying his rubber shoes. He just looked down at me.

"I didn't mean you are stupid," he responded. "What I meant was that your reference regarding about tying shoes is moronic. Smart people do or say occasional incoherence."

"L?"

"Yes?"

"You know how adorable you are, right?" I smirked to myself.

"I also never thought about that," he looked up the ceiling again. "And that is another thing to ponder upon."

"Well, let us go to our closet so you could daydream." I stood up and tugged him by the arm. When we left my dorm room, we walked silently until we reached the closet. We stood up in front of the door.

"Did you ask permission from Randy?"

"Yes," he paused and then he said, "You're not perspiring."

"I have pores to excrete sweat, don't worry."

"You recently had sex so why aren't you perspiring?" he eyed me curiously like his little specimen again. "This incident would make me think that the activity was short-lived."

"Maybe." I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door. I was shocked to see that it was wide enough. The equipment was pushed to the side neatly, leaving a space for a table and two chairs on either side. I raised an eyebrow and said, "No way. Is this place for real?"

"You didn't actually think that I would read essays for hours in a hellhole, did you?" L sat on the chair with his feet up as usual. "I'm a bit conspicuous when it comes to cleanliness."

"I hardly noticed since your personal grooming is not that pleasing," I sat down.

"I would not take that as a hurtful remark to assault me senseless," he bit his index finger and locked our eyes on each other. "Tell me this, young lady: when I have kissed you, did I smell?"

I shook my head slowly. "You were surprisingly clean, yes. You look dirty but you smell good."

He nodded and placed the bundle of papers on the table. "Let us divide this labor in an equal share. Let us pick with our eyes closed."

"How creative."

Once we sorted the papers out, L decided to go first, holding the paper by his tips of his fingers again. "I have Lisa. What does she look like?'

"She's--"

"Wait," L read the essay and nodded in mental abstraction. "I see. How interesting. Very interesting, I say."

"Uh-huh." I responded blankly, eager to know his thoughts.

"She is cocky and believes to know what she wants," L said. "She stated here that nobody really liked her for the good points she has. Her parents thought she was never good enough and she smokes a lot."

"What's interesting about that?"

"This one." He raised another sheet of paper. "His name is Brandon. This is the guy Lisa flings around with."

"You read two term papers at the same time?"

"No, I read Brandon's term paper first before I went to your place and then I picked Lisa's randomly and this is what I got," L explained. "Brandon claims to be in a healthy relationship with his current girlfriend Megan who is in my class as well. But he is also trying to build something with Lisa."

"And the interesting part?"

L leaned closer and smiled in his catlike manner. "Remember that you asked me before if I believe in love at first sight?"

I said nothing so he went on, "There are many factors in that kind of event. One is sexual attraction. He's hot, she's hot, that sort of thing. But then--"

I cut him off. "Beauty is not exact. We see beauty in different ways. You may think it's beautiful but another person thinks it's not."

"Love at first sight, if I understand, is described as seeing the person by a quick glance or you held each other's eyes and knew right then you are meant for each other. It's a bit corny and sickening but I always look for alternative explanations."

"Educate me." I leaned on the chair and looked at him with a smile.

"First is sexual attraction," he continued. "Second is the gut feeling. After seeing the person you are attracted to, you felt a compulsion to pull that person to your gravity. You become obsess with that someone and want to spend time with that person as long as you can."

"And the third is?"

L thought about it. "Let us put it this way. Megan and Brandon have the classic type of a developmental relationship. There was a 'spark' as we call it between them but it didn't burn well. Now when Lisa comes to the picture, it exploded into a violent heat that can't be contained. The attraction is too strong."

"So they were instantly compatible," I remarked. "Does Brandon engage?"

"He did," L looked at the essays. "Both of them explained it but they never thought it was wrong or that it was unfair. Brandon also said that he loved them both in different ways and he couldn't choose."

"A typical dilemma," I regarded. "I don't see why this interests you though."

"You are stupid again." He shook his head mockingly.

"Go fuck yourself, L." I retorted back sourly.

"Don't be offended!" he raised his hands and wriggled them. "I meant to say that you don't see the relevance of my fascination."

"Then show me."

"Developmental and love at first sight," he said. "What type of love satisfies you? What kind of love drives you crazy? Which of them deserves to be picked?"

"I go for Megan." I replied, crossing my arms. "Lisa is a one-time thing. It's purely physical. Megan has been with Brandon since last year and their relationship was pretty strong, I know that. Everyone knows that."

"Don't blame, Brandon." L frowned. "He didn't turn away from the good things he had with Megan. He loved her and was devoted to her, you pointed that one out. Though I believe that the human behavior is explained scientifically if you let it be that way. Brandon and Lisa have the fatal attraction and you can't easily disentangle yourself from that."

"Even if Brandon sticks with Megan then you mean to say that he will still feel the same way with Lisa?"

"Yes," L nodded. "It was love at first sight. It was chemistry. There was combustion. Though Megan is Brandon's reality and Lisa would only be a fantasy. That is why I find it interesting. If Brandon chooses Megan then it is mundane but if he did choose Lisa then that is something to look forward to."

"The guy cheated on his girlfriend!"

"Let us not be shallow here."

"There you go again, calling me stupid." I looked at him irritably.

"Francesca, please, hear me out." He continued to speak. "We are talking about possibilities not moralizing. Leave that to people who see things in only one point of view. We are trying to deduce cause and effects here. I thought you like to play a game."

"Is this why you brought me here?" I raised an eyebrow.

He took something from a box beside him. "Eat this."

"You like too much sweet stuff," I remarked as I stared at the cinnamon bun. "Are you sure this is clean?"

"There you go again, calling me dirty."

I laughed and took a bite, my eyes not leaving his for a second. After I swallowed the chunk of bread, I asked. "Do you think what we have is love at first sight?"

L knit his eyebrows. "I have been pondering about the lingerie and how adorable I was right now. I will add that to my list."

"No need to think it through," I said. "You said it yourself. Love at first sight is instant. Do we or do we not have it?"

"What do you think?"

"Yes."

L nodded. "I agree."

"Now your turn to read an essay." He said after a moment of awkward silence.

I took a paper from my share and read the first paragraph with a grin, "It's my friend, Nicoline."

"The fair lady with glasses." L smiled. "She seems nice."

"How general," I laughed. "You don't do it like that. You don't describe someone as 'nice.' That's not you."

"I want you to be the one scrutinizing," L said. "This is a good exercise. She is a friend so you know her pattern behavior already. What does her essay say?"

I glanced at it. "She confessed here how distrustful she is of the opposite sex. She is a virgin, by the way."

"Nicoline feels threatened of male domination," L's eyes flickered. "Anything else?"

"She is a top student in the class," I explained. "She said here that she likes the company of boys but not in a way that she pursues dating them. She said that she gets infatuated but doesn't really know why she never was interested at all for that to go beyond further."

"Does she tell you about this?"

"Not really but I always knew." I smiled sadly.

"It's not healthy," L shook his head. "Suppressing emotions is a dangerous habit. You should advise her."

I nodded. "Hey, L?"

"Yes?"

"I have a compulsion to make out with you right now," I said blankly, still staring at the paper where my friend wrote her deepest desires.

"Shall you indulge?"

"I don't know." I answered. "We do have a lot of work to do."

"I agree," he nodded and stood up slowly. "Though we must at least make the most of it without risking a serious damage."

I laughed and stood up as well. As soon as I placed my arms around his waist, he rested a gentle hand on my cheek. We stared at each other for a while and then he pressed his mouth against mine. I closed my eyes. It was always so sensational. He was never boring.

"L?" I called his name when our mouths were withdrawn. "Do you like what we do?"

"That is a stupid question." He grabbed a cinnamon bun from behind me and ate it heartily. "But for argument's sake, yes."

"If this is love at first sight," I said. "Do you want me to break it off with George?"

"Keep him and do as you please with him." L simply replied as he let go of me and sat back on his chair. I turned around to stare at him, looking defeated.

"I want to cross the line now," I murmured.

"Of course you do." L regarded me lightly. "Time should be considered though."

I just sighed and went back to my chair. L leaned closer and said, "I like lingerie if I like the girl who is wearing it."

"So you've finally reached a conclusion, that's good for you then."

"And _I am_ extremely adorable."

"You are so full of it." I threw a cinnamon bun at him. "We should do the reading now, L so you won't look like an idiot on Monday when we have our class."

L took another essay and read it as he chewed on his meal.

We stayed for another two hours inside until we got everything done and L signed them lazily. As we were leaving thee closet, I stole one hidden glance at my college professor whose eyes were really drowsy due to lack of sleep and proper nutrition. I knew right then what is going on. I realized that it was more than a game to me now.

**I was in love with L Lawliet.**


	5. Lectures with Strawberry

**A/N: The creation of this story is inspired by my autistic brother Francis Xavier whose existence I had denied and whom I had mercilessly treated like trash. I realized that the only thing that hindered me from loving him unconditionally is because of his autism. Now that I am older and less chaotic, I channel my angst and frustration to writing hence the formulation of this story with L as the lead character because he reminds me so much of my brother. People are only ugly and unacceptable when you don't love them. When you learn to love them, that's when it becomes beautiful and meaningful. **

**This piece of literature is my brother who is the best thing that happened to me. And as you praise this work of fiction, you somehow brought him back to me. I thank you, dear readers.**

_**-Harley Cooper, Writer of Sorts-**_

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_And then he said he likes all kinds of fruits_

_And I said to him what about cherries?_

_He said that he needs a particular kind of cherry_

_So he took my hand, kissed it and said_

_It's the best kind of fruit, healthy as it is_

_And chaste, so pure, in every way._

_-A Cooper Prose-_

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**Lectures on Criminal Psychology with strawberry**

Nicoline Ray is a person I consider dearest to me. She was always so organized and stable. With her around, I feel less suicidal. There was something about that mundane atmosphere around her that keeps my sanity intact. I'm always looking for the next adventure and after the thrill that leaves me often breathless, I would come back to my dorm room and find her waiting for me there, scolding me lightly and then she would make me promise not to come late at night again. She knew I can easily break those promises but she didn't care ask me to change my lifestyle. Maybe my own catastrophic atmosphere provided her some extreme fantasy. When she sees me living my life like a restless animal, when she sees me flaunting my high-strung habits in public, somehow it keeps her world from falling apart as well. She wanted to break the monotony but couldn't do it for herself so she liked the fact that I was the one doing it instead. We balance each other and our friendship lived that way for so long.

I noticed that L has been asking questions about her and I knew she fascinates him. I smiled inside and knew right then that L would play with her. I couldn't help but wonder the ways that he will draw her close to his territory. It excited me so much that even as I sat still in my chair, I was actually itching for a scene. The class was unusually quiet. All of us were waiting for our great professor's grand entrance. But there was nothing grand to it. When Professor L Lawliet enters, he wore the same white shirt and the jeans. His rubber shoes were untied again. He bit his thumb and hunched as he walked. Then he sat on the table with his feet up as usual.

"Good morning."

We greeted him with different tones. There was the sullen tone from those who are still uncertain of having him as a teacher. There was the welcoming tone like Trey's and Amy's who were very much fond of L now. And there was the flat tone like mine that doesn't really have any emotion about his presence but was very much eager to be taken as captive to his enigmatic fortress.

"I have read your essays and left comments," he began. "I also made it to the point to distribute it myself with Miss Francesca. We slipped it under your doors to add some fun to it."

Some giggled and nodded their heads to the idea.

"Now I do not want to waste my time listening to your feedback because I don't need to refresh myself with trivial things about your life," L looked at us one by one. He can always do that. He can sweep those blank eyes to each face in the room. "Be assured that I remember every detail and if I hear your names, I will just smile when I remember something that particularly interests me in your essay."

He rested his eyes on mine and then shifted quickly at Nicoline's. She stiffened a little when she realized that L was looking at her.

"Let's play a game." L addressed the whole class but his eyes never left my friend. "I memorized your names but I don't know your faces so I will just call a name."

The class agreed.

L thought, his eyes looking at the ceiling. "George."

I didn't smile. I was laughing like a raging maniac inside. George gave a short glare at the professor and then he stood up calmly.

"Which do you prefer," L began. "Necrophilia or a Pedophilia?"

The class murmured. Nicoline sighed, a sure sign that she wasn't pleased.

George blinked and thought carefully before answering. "I prefer none, sir. Maybe you should be specific about what type of preference."

"There is another way of preferring something?" L questioned him good-humoredly. "When preference is being pointed out, it would automatically mean 'like,' doesn't it?"

"I like neither of them."

"But you must choose and defend your answer." L smiled slightly.

George's vein on his eye twitched a little but he managed to respond calmly. "I guess I would have to pick necrophilia then since they cause damage on decaying bodies and not living ones."

"So it is true then that we should have less respect for the human body when it is already dead," L inquired. "We do lobotomy. We dissect for the sake of anatomy. So why would be raping them any different? Somebody benefits. To be specific, the perpetuator of the crime is getting something from it."

"I do not follow you, sir."

"Simply this," L raised a finger. "What makes necrophilia a disgusting and unacceptable crime?"

Trey's hand shot up in the air. L nodded at his direction.

"It violates the body of a dead person," Trey debated. "I mean, the person is already dead, we could at least handle them with care. That is why we have burials and wakes. They deserve some peace. Just imagine that you're already dead and people should just leave you alone but instead you were snatched away from your grave, preserved with chemicals, have your decaying genitals inserted with some tube to allow intercourse and--"

"I see the point, Mister Trey, no need to be graphic." L smiled at him. "You have presented a clear explanation of the hideous crime committed. Now I don't blame Mister George for choosing necrophilia than the other one."

He paused and then said. "Megan."

Megan stood up nervously. "Yes, sir?"

"What do you know about pedophiles?" L asked as Trey and George took their seats.

Megan bit her lip and then made waving gestures with her hands. "Pedophiles are child molesters. They have the innate compulsion to engage in sexual deviancy with young children."

"Expound."

Megan sighed. "Well, most pedophiles were molested themselves when they were younger. So their perception between right and wrong has been clouded with emotional trauma. When they became adults, they victimize other children too. In some cases, it's not a choice but a compulsion. They even reason out that they couldn't stop themselves."

"Like Michael Jackson," Trey pointed out. "In that case, he chose to build himself some mansion so he could lure his victims. I see some choice there not compulsion. He could have stopped."

"But he wouldn't," Megan countered on. "You see, pedophiles have distorted perception on things and somehow they were unable to achieve self-control unlike most of us here."

"What do you think of pedophiles?" L shifted his position and rubbed his palms against his knees.

"I think they are vile and their acts are unforgivable," Megan answered firmly. "Who would want to hurt children? Some even rape infants."

Nicoline winced at that. I put a hand on hers and she gripped it tightly.

"What punishment do you think they deserve, Miss Tawny?" L asked.

Tawny stared straight ahead. "According to the law, lethal injection is the primary punishment. If it were me, I personally like to see their penises cut off and then we would ask them to eat it."

The whole class was silenced by that last remark.

L stood up and walked around, "Miss Megan pointed out that they were once children before who were molested--"

Tawny interjected. "And that is not an excuse! Nobody should make an excuse to terrorize people's lives! The victim shouldn't victimize others! It's a wrong cycle!"

She stood up and turned to her classmates. "All of you know that I was molested when I was a child. Do you see me around kidnapping little girls and doing the same thing to them? The cycle should stop."

"Then it is all up to choice," L's voice got louder. "Miss Megan said compulsion and choice. Please sit down, Miss Tawny. I appreciate your enthusiasm.

Tawny went back to her seat.

"Miss Nicoline, be kind enough to offer your assistance."

Nicoline gave me a questioning glance and then slowly rose from her seat. She walked towards L.

"Miss Nicoline will be helping in writing important points for today's discussion." L instructed as he handed the white board marker to my friend. "Now she will only write important things to be remembered. Miss Nicoline, when I say 'strawberry,' that is your cue to write the next thing that comes from my mouth. You will stop only when you hear me say strawberry again. Can you do that?"

Nicoline cleared her throat. "I suppose."

"Let us begin taking notes." L said and all of us took our notebooks, widely attentive.

"Mister George said he preferred necrophilia than pedophilia since he doesn't object with doing anything we want when the human body is already decaying--"

"Sir, I didn't say that." George interrupted. "What I meant to say is that pedophilia for me is a far greater crime than necrophilia but it doesn't mean I'm okay with necrophilia. I'm clearly against it."

"Yes, I understand." L smiled at the man I've been sleeping with. "Forgive my oafish insensitivity. Please don't think I am trying to crush your manhood."

"Why would I think of such?" George challenged, not letting himself be intimidated. "You're fair with your judgments and I know you wouldn't do anything to humiliate your students for personal reasons."

"Are you sure about that?" L smiled blankly this time. He continued before George could say anything, "Mister Trey explained to us the act of necrophilia. He provided good descriptions. Having sex with a corpse is beyond repulsive. It is inhumane."

L leaned against the window on the corner. We remained staring at him. "Now Miss Megan explained pedophilia and she was concrete about it. And one thing caught my attention and that is, strawberry, choice and compulsion."

Nicoline wrote **CHOICE and COMPULSION **in big letters and waited for the next thing L will say.

"What is choice?" L asked us. Nicoline wrote again. "Strawberry, dear."

When Nicoline stopped writing, Amy raised her hand.

"Yes, it's nice to hear from you, Miss Amy," L smiled at her. She smiled back.

"I agree on Trey's point of view," Amy said firmly. "It is not about compulsion. It's all about choice. Self-control can be achieved if we try to be assertive. We shouldn't make excuses as Tawny said. Criminals shouldn't have excuses."

L nodded and bit on his thumb. "Strawberry, choice comes with assertion, strawberry."

"But what about compulsion?" Megan asked, remaining in her seat. "There are studies that support the fact that most mentally-deranged criminals can't help but act on compulsion. They're oblivious to any moral judgments. They couldn't think like any of us."

L nodded again. "Strawberry, compulsion dulls reason, strawberry."

"Then we come to psychopaths who have obsessive tendencies and then sociopaths, who hate the society," Trey pointed out. "Two classifications of serial murderers."

"Hold that thought, Mister Trey," L said. "Brandon? Who's Brandon?"

Brandon stood up. L nodded and asked him. "Do you think what Miss Tawny said about punishing pedophiles in the way she stated is reasonable?"

Brandon looked at Tawny and then spoke with conviction in his voice. "I believe she has the compulsion to kill them because of the huge amount of trauma she received from the past."

"I'm not being--" Tawny was about to stand up and object when L silenced her with a look. L looked at Brandon and asked him to expound.

"I don't think that criminals are animals." Brandon explained. "I think that they're human beings like the rest of us and our hatred will not help. It will only worsen things. We should help them rather than just prosecute them. If we become blinded with getting even and satisfying our need for revenge, then are we not criminals ourselves? Choice comes with assertion then because we're in our right senses, we must make the right choice and that choice isn't to commit violence after another. The victim should not victimize, remember? The only way to stop the cycle is not to act on compulsion."

L applauded on that. The class followed. Brandon scratched his head and smirked a little. I smiled at the way things are going. I was happy that my boring days finally ended.

"Strawberry, violence should not beget violence," L said as Nicoline wrote it down. "It's not a question of morals and logic that are at stake when it comes to criminal behavior. We make our own choices based upon our own principles in life. We choose to become criminals. We choose to become good citizens. There's a thin line between that and it's up to us if we cross it or not, strawberry."

L took the white board marker from Nicoline and asked her to sit down.

"Questions?" L asked the class.

I raised my hand. "Prof. L, does criminal behavior fascinate you?"

His dark pools of ink flickered. "Very much, young lady. I also believe that justice will always prevail."

"Does that even exist today?" Tawny asked sardonically.

L nodded with a small childish smile. "Of course it does."

"How can you be sure?" Amy asked him.

L sat on the table again and bit on his thumb. "Because I'm L Lawliet."

Nobody understood what could that mean but we didn't really bother to know the meaning behind the words. We're accustomed to his eccentricities now.

"Miss Tawny?" L called out to the girl who used to wear revealing clothing but now she wore a plain sweater and jeans. She looked up to our teacher.

"Anybody can hold a grudge but it takes a brave soul to forgive," he told her softly. She nodded and smiled warmly at him.

"That's it for today's class," L said, "Your homework to be submitted next meeting is a research. Write about the person you hate the most and then I will call eight of you in front to read your outputs. Dismissed."

The class went into separate crowds and dispersed out of the classroom.

"What was that about?" Nicoline frowned at me. "Did you ask him to do that?"

"No," I said, chuckling. "What he does in class is none of my business."

George put his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side. "Do you wanna hang out tonight, Chez?"

I rolled my eyes. "I have to attend to something, George. Maybe next time, 'kay?"

He shook his head. "When was the last time we hang out? Come on, let's eat dinner together, my treat."

"I have to decline from the generous invitation."

George let go of me and scolded. "Just what the hell does he give you that you're dumping me for that freak?"

L looked up from his plate of fresh cookies when George addressed him. "The answer is mental orgasm."

Nicoline made a face. George wasn't an idiot and he knew well what his position is as well as L's so he just scoffed and walked out of the door.

"Come on, I need to introduce you," I pulled Nicoline towards L.

"L, this is my friend Nicoline!" I said with a smile.

"Do you mind if I make you help me writing lectures in board?" L asked. "I have a lousy way of holding a pen so my writing is not legible."

"Well..." Nicoline stammered. "I guess, I don't mind."

"Do you want to eat dinner with us, L?" I asked. Nicoline opened her mouth and then closed it again.

"I think it would be awkward," L answered me calmly. "I clearly see that Miss Nicoline is becoming terrified of me."

"It's not that!" Nicoline protested. "You are my favorite teacher, Prof. L and--"

"How flattering!" L beamed. "Have a cookie, please."

Nicoline reluctantly took one from the plate.

"It would be fun, L." I tugged him by the sleeve. "I am starving for some red lobster."

"You like seafood then?" L asked.

"Nicoline and I enjoy it a lot so come with us," I winked at him. "I'm sure nobody would mind if you eat dessert while the rest of us devoured the main course."

L thought about it and looked at Nicoline. It was clear that he doesn't want to cause Nicoline some trouble if she doesn't like him around. Nicoline picked up on that and decided that it won't be that bad. "I would like to have you with us at dinner, Prof. L. I think you did a good job in educating the class today."

L sighed and stood up, scratching his stomach. "Okay then. I have one condition though."

We waited. He leaned closer and said in a whisper, "Miss Nicoline should tell me about her thoughts on sex."

I laughed when I saw Nicoline blushed wildly that it burned her cheeks. She blurted out, "Why do both of you talk about sex? And what is mental orgasm anyway?"

L and I exchanged glances and then I put an arm around Nicoline and led her to the door with L following behind.

"It is the best sex created by bored intellectuals." I explained to her. "And you, my lovely, will about to get some."


	6. Lectures with Whipped Cream on Seafood

**A/N: I am drowning in the lake of affirmation from EnpatsuShakugan-Shana and Dorchica whose real names I have to know by now. You should know by now that Harley Cooper is pure writer and has no other identity. It is an alias as well. She is terribly messed up about her personal life and finds solace in writing her angst and deliberate fantasies. She is highly imaginative and does not see writing as a hobby. She worships the craft. She breathes it like oxygen. And she also believes that readers who adore her craft should be given the same kind of love she gives her writing. Harley Cooper blesses those who sees her talent and do not sabotage it with hurtful degradation. She can appreciate kindness very much. She doesn't mind readers getting involved with her personally because she is not outwardly selfish of her craft. She only becomes a vindictive bitch when her craft is called mediocre (which has not yet happened thankfully.) **

**How do I come up with plots and characters like this? It's because I have a serious dislike for reality. Seriously. I really don't mix well with social things that have something to do with people. I can understand emotions especially if they are expressed by other people and I'm a strong person and I'm not afraid to be in my truest skin. I like observing people because I use them as characters in my story.**

**To others who review this story (****xREWIND, CaptainCarnival, tsukiraven****) I make it to a point that all of you will be mentioned since this story is personal and I'm terribly humbled that you think this story is unique as well as my writing style. You can ask me anything that is associated with my craft. I will bring down just one brick from my wall to allow a conversation.**

**A million thanks to you, dear readers, the reason why my craft was explored fully and relentlessly. Your passion for my works is what drives me to my best artistic merit and with that assistance, I will be forever honored.**

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_We become intimate with those we don't see ourselves with_

_But it is rather unusual they see themselves in us_

_After all that is said and done, we have more things in common_

_In those simple things you can call someone a friend_

_--A Cooper Saying--_

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**Lectures in the restaurant with whipped cream on seafood**

He lifted up the menu by the tip of his fingers, the index and the thumb. He tilted his head on the side and eyed it meticulously. Then he placed it down and raised the spoon and fork next. After accomplishing the utensil check, he raised the plate. Fully convinced that new surroundings should be scrutinized, he was now looking under the tablecloth, perhaps wondering if the table is made of wood and what type it might be. As though it still doesn't guarantee him peace of mind, he took the toothpick container and started inspecting each toothpick. I chuckled and leaned closer to him, placing my fingers on his chin to have an eye contact with him. When my finger touched that layer of his skin, I felt captured by an intense, rapturous longing to rip his clothes off and do him. I manage the best self-control imaginable though.

"You're abnormal, L." I whispered to him sweetly and took the toothpicks away from him. He blinked several times then he reached out to finger the button of my blouse. His eyes remained on mine.

"Young lady, you really should mind your own business."

He unbuttoned my collar swiftly, enjoying the slight reaction he caught in my stare. I was immediately aroused by the fact that he was effortlessly arousing me.

I smiled and pulled away, leaning back as comfortably as I could. I shifted my gaze on Nicoline who was sitting there, watching me interact with L with such a carefree stance that it astounded her deeply.

"I ordered the special lobster for tonight," Nicoline remarked politely. "What would Prof. L like to have? They have a set of desserts and pastries here."

L looked at the menu resting on the table and didn't touch it. He stared at Nicoline as she continued to speak, "I'm really glad that you could join us. I know that I have formed the impression that I'm too uptight but to be honest, I'm just careful, you know. Better be sure than sorry!"

I nodded at that and looked at L slightly. His eyes were intently fixed on my shy friend, his front teeth nibbling on his index finger.

"Nicoline?" he said after a long period of silence and introspection. "Do you make it a habit on assuring yourself things that you never really believed in and yet you stick to that because you have nothing else?"

"I don't understand so I couldn't answer your question." Nicoline smiled back amiably. "We're not in a classroom anymore. I think Cheska brought us here for us to be able to converse as just ordinary people."

"Is that what you have hoped for?" L questioned.

"I believe that it is the aim of this conversation."

L shook his head slowly. "The aim of this conversation is to set you free."

"I beg your pardon?"

I cleared my throat and ordered as some champagne. I decided to break the ice, "L thinks that we could let you in our own little world."

"That world being the mental orgasm, right?" Nicoline made another face. "I think I will pass, thank you."

"You pass a lot of good opportunities," L pointed his fork on her. "Another distinguishable bad habit."

"I certainly don't appreciate you deducing my character," Nicoline looked at him firmly. "To be quite frank, I'm not okay with it so please stop and let us enjoy this dinner as humbly as we could."

"Impossible." L took the spoon and pointed it at my friend, smiling slightly.

Nicoline's eyes hardened. "With all due respect, sir, I don't want this conversation to go any channels that will please you. Forgive me for saying this but you're a sadist."

"I forgive you."

I smiled silently to myself as I poured the champagne on my glass. I sipped it and then said to L, "Nic and I are good friends since we were kids in high school. You should take it easy. She doesn't back down."

"She wouldn't have been your close friend if she doesn't have the stomach." L commented and then added, "I want red lobster too, if you don't mind. I will pay my own meal as well as both of yours."

Before Nicoline could object, I nodded in agreement and ordered. Nicoline scolded me with a glance, telling me visibly that she doesn't like how this is going for her. I ignored her intentionally and started talking to L.

"You were too hard on George earlier," I said.

"I was impressed that you chose well on a man you will be engaging in a sexual activity with." L responded. "He is not as dull as I imagined."

"He is a nasty kind of package, believe me." I frowned.

"Then why do you enjoy doing what it is that you do with him during weekends?" Nicoline asked me irritably.

"Francesca likes games," L answered for me.

"Was it worth it?" Nicoline shot a glare at L. "This would be pointless if we talk about her relationship with George now that it is practically non-existent."

We stopped talking when the food was brought. I watched L winced on the sight of the red lobster in front of him as if this is the first time he will eat such a dish and maybe it really is. He looked at it, revolted and said nothing to address the unsatisfactory appearance of his first decent meal. Nicoline and I started to devour ours. L just sat there.

"Francesca?"

"Yes, L?"

He took something from the bag he was always carrying around with him. He showed the bottle to me and I almost choked.

"Whipped cream?" Nicoline inquired. "Are you going to put that on the lobster? That's just not right."

"It's worth a try," L started applying an awful amount of cream on the seafood. Some people eyed us questioningly, murmuring among themselves. When his plate was literally covered in whipped cream, he smiled at it and began eating.

"How appetizing!" I said with a cheery tone.

"You should try it." L smiled at me.

"I think you've put whipped cream on the shell," Nicoline remarked, crinkling her nose. "You should remove the shell first."

"Is that how it is done?" L was embarrassed that it was so cute. "Apologies, I thought you just eat it like it is."

"It's not that easy," Nicoline demonstrated it as she peeled the shell slowly. "There is a system you should follow."

L watched as she showed him. He paid her with keen interest. When she was done, she chewed on the food contentedly.

"It's all about system." My friend repeated.

"Indeed." L nodded. "But I still like chocolates because they're not covered with such a hard exterior. Why waste time when you could enjoy a meal without fuzz?"

"Chocolate is not a meal." Nicoline reminded him. "So are you going to eat the lobster? It is the best lobster in town. It would be a shame if you don't eat it."

"After your display of obsessive-compulsive behavior, I don't see why not."

Nicoline didn't like that OCB comment but she ignored it. I was amused of how L tried doing it himself and yet he couldn't. It must have been because the way he holds thing with two fingers alone. He kept dropping the fork. He spread the whipped cream on the tablecloth already but L was determined to accomplish the difficult process and he wasn't giving up on it. Nicoline smiled, feeling sorry that she was too cruel to hand him such a tiresome task.

"You can have a piece of mine," Nicoline raised her fork with a slice of seafood in it. "And I didn't use utensils. I used my hand to break the shell."

"It's unsanitary." L rolled his eyes as though it was obvious why he didn't do it. "And yes, I would like a piece, please."

When Nicoline was about to put the slice on his plate, he leaned to the direction of the fork instead and took the slice with his own mouth. I stifled a giggle. Nicoline blushed and cleared her throat.

L chewed a little and then swallowed it. "Too salty."

He took an amount of whipped cream on his plate and placed it on his tongue, rubbing it on his taste buds to recover from the sudden change of taste.

"I don't see anything special about that lobster," L remarked. "Too salty. I want coffee now. Waiter?"

As L talked to the waiter, Nicoline leaned and whispered, "What did you see in him? I know he is charming but as a functioning social being in society, I can categorize him among the street punks or the mentally ill group."

"He is charming." I said simply.

L faced us again and wiped a whipped cream on his tongue once more, taking his time washing off the taste of the seafood.

"Do you want to go for a walk after this?" I asked him. "Nicoline has so many things to tell you."

"I do?" Nicoline didn't like the idea.

"Well, hurry up and finish that--thing," L wiped his hands with the napkin and started finishing the whipped cream from the plate. "I have to pay."

"It's a waste to pay on something you didn't enjoy." Nicoline made a face.

"You got away with it all the time," L remarked lazily, licking his fingers dry.

"What the hell does that supposed to mean?"

"Let's finish this, Nic." I restrained her. I don't need her making a scene. Although I don't think she could.

After the dining has been commenced awkwardly, (we spent another thirty minutes watching L finishing the whipped cream he had spread on the lobster) the waiter gave us a queer look when L didn't eat his seafood. Nicoline and I, out of courtesy, decided to finish it before we paid the bill so another thirty minutes was wasted and our stomachs could not longer digest.

"That was weird," Nicoline remarked as we made our way outside. "The whipped cream made the lobster taste awful."

L did not like that so he just frowned moodily.

"I was kind of expecting that L has an allergic reaction to seafood that's why he won't eat it," I sighed, holding L's hand on mine. He looked at that gesture and then blinked in mild amusement. I interlaced our fingers together. Nicoline walked behind us silently.

"Where shall we go next?" L asked us.

"Look up at the sky!" Nicoline exclaimed. "There are so many stars. Why don't we go stargazing?"

"So you're an aspiring astrologer?" L remarked as Nicoline pulled me away from him and we run to the nearest grass park.

As the two of us lay there, L just stood up and watched us without saying a word. We drifted to our own conversation.

"I kind of miss the old days," she said to me.

"What old days?"

"The days when you weren't going out to meet a potential partner."

I laughed. "You could always come, you know."

"I hate dating, you know that." Nicoline scoffed. "It's a colossal waste of money and effort."

"How will you find the one for you if you don't go finding it for yourself?" I asked her.

Nicoline sighed peacefully. "Falling in love isn't everything in the world for me right now. I have goals to finish. You're smart but sometimes you avoid responsibility. Besides, it will happen to me in time."

"That is nonsense." I rolled to my side and gripped a plant with my hand.

"I think you say that because it's the reason why you found him." Nicoline said. "If you didn't go out and find it for yourself then you wouldn't have met him."

I said nothing and closed my eyes.

"Do you love him, Cheska?"

"Now that is something I haven't thought about." I wasn't lying but I am stalling.

I turned around to see that she was also on her side, facing me. She looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Do you think he loves you?"

"I thought falling in love is not the world for you right now."

"It is to you."

"Games are the world for me," I sat up, knees pulled against my chest.

Nicoline called our professor. He finally walked towards us. I didn't look at him or the stars anymore. I listened to what they were talking about.

"You said you wanted to know what I think of sex, right?" Nicoline asked.

"Yes."

"I think it's for reproduction alone," Nicoline answered him truthfully. "And I know that sounds too cold but I don't see it as a source of enjoyment. Maybe there is something wrong with me if I think that but I just don't think people should spend their lives trying to hump each other all the time. There are so many important things in life."

She sat up suddenly and added. "And I don't think that a person who could fill your sexual needs can give you the proper kind of love you need. It's tricky. The only way to know you're wrong about how you feel is when it is too late."

"So it is better not to engage at all." L eyed her carefully. "You don't want to go through all the trouble."

"Yes!" Nicoline raised her arms up the sky. "I know that is what you would call cowardice but don't give me that. We choose our battles. It is up to me and I know that I'm happy with what I've chosen."

L nodded. "Nicoline?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you feel about the way Francesca expresses her freedom?"

"I don't know," Nicoline snorted a chuckle. "I never really thought about it. I guess I kind of wonder how she does it. How do you do it, Cheska?"

"How do I pretend to be happy and crazy all the time?" I shot back sullenly. "It's simple, actually. I just go with the noise."

"Whatever happened to self-control?" Nicoline asked nobody.

"Whatever happened to being young and adventurous?" I asked her directly.

"It's called adulthood." Nicoline pointed a lousy finger at me. "And you don't pretend to be happy. You pretend to be messed-up and loving it when you don't. That makes you crazy."

L sat beside Nicoline and looked at the sky. "It's amazing how you ended up friends."

"We share the same room." I answered him, still eyeing the grass underneath my feet. "We don't have to share the same preferences."

"And I don't get to have sex." Nicoline added amiably. She leaned her head on his shoulder. L didn't mind. He rubbed his palm on her knee. She closed her eyes.

"I am crazy." I whispered, almost to myself. L glanced at me.

"Did you put something on her drink?" he asked me. "I think she has fallen asleep."

"I must have given her a sleeping pill somehow." I answered.

"Why did you do that?"

"You know why."

L sighed as he allowed Nicoline to sleep on his lap. She yawned and rubbed her eyes lazily. I looked at his expression for a while with my friend on his lap.

"She is tired." I told him. "I did her a favor. She hasn't slept for two days now. Her excuse is study. I think she couldn't sleep because she was thinking about the times she hasn't enjoyed herself during college."

"You teenage girls hate yourselves too much." L shook his head. "So many skin-deep insecurities. I could hardly follow the reason why you subject yourselves to such inadequacy if it only makes you feel less of a person."

"It's just environmental, professor." I laughed loud. "You like human behavior."

"I detest human inadequacy."

"How perfectionist of you!" I slumped back on the grass and gazed at the stars. "Do you think we should go back to the university now? Nicoline will catch a cold if she sleeps here."

"I think we should," L got to his feet and slid his arms around Nicoline to lift her up.

"I didn't know you are that strong." I stood up myself and walked beside him. We stayed in comfortable silence the whole time. When we reached our dorm room, I led him inside and helped him tuck Nicoline in her bed. He put a blanket on her as I laid her head on the pillow. She was sleeping in an unaware state of tranquility.

I sat on the floor beside the window. "Do you think I hate myself?"

"I should go," L was headed towards the door.

"Okay." I simply replied as I watched L closed the door. He turned around to walk towards my direction. I waited for him to sit in front of me, his dark eyes piercing through me.

"I think you know the answer." L frowned.

"Do I bore you now?" I asked again.

"I think you blame yourself for making Nicoline inadequate." L replied. "While you're living your life like a party animal, she is trapped in her own fears. But I think you wished you did the same thing she did because you are a coward too."

I smiled. "I do hate myself. I always do and I always had. The difference now is you can tell it when nobody could. They all think I'm great and confident. They all think I can carry myself. But my backbone is breaking. Any minute now, you can give me a gun and I wouldn't have second thoughts shooting myself."

"You are overwhelmed."

"You have to stop knowing everything." I snapped at him.

"I don't like hiding," he looked down. "Hiding scares me. I don't want to be left in the dark. I need to know everything or I won't be in peace."

"There are some things that shouldn't be found or figured out." I muttered. "Though why are we making it complicated?"

"Because it wouldn't be fun if we don't attempt to kill ourselves due to the obstacle at hand." He suggested.

"And it would be boring," I pulled him by neck, wrapping my arms around him. He pressed himself against me, our eyes entwining like twigs.

"I like the way you smile." I whispered against his lips, letting his breath and the beating of his chest coincide with mine.

"I don't like it when you're bored." He responded.

I pushed him off. He didn't care. I crawled away from him, hiding under the bed. It was silly and childish but none of us did care anymore.

He lifted up the covers and looked at me, asking. "What makes you a fool?"

"When you don't realize you are." I answered without missing a beat.

"Can I come in?"

"There is enough space for us." I smiled encouragingly.

He managed to get under the bed himself. We stayed there for a long moment, not speaking to each other but comforted by the fact that we need not explain ourselves for being the way we are.

"I could get used to this." L said as he allowed me to rest my head against his. He placed his arm behind my back and pulled me closer.

"When Nicoline steps down from her bed, let's grab her feet." I suggested.

"And then when she screams, let's drag her here." L added.

After we reached to that unusual agreement, we turned our faces to each other and kissed breathlessly. I moaned softly against his mouth, trying to move my hands through his sticky, untidy hair. We were squirming the whole time, having the inability to move due to our positions. I succeeded in fondling his hair when we decided not to lie in our stomachs anymore but instead face each other. He put his hands on my cheeks and kissed me harder.

I proceeded kissing his chest without lifting his shirt. I tasted the whipped cream he wiped in there when he was cleaning himself before in the restaurant. I went down, my lips tracing the outline of his stomach. Afterwards I was already out of the bed and grabbing his rubber shoes.

"What are you doing now?" he asked me.

"I want to tie your shoes."

"Leave them alone or I'll kick you in the face."

"I have a shoe fetish." I insisted but he got out of the bed as well and pushed me to the floor, placing himself on top of me.

"Why don't you mind your own business, young lady?" he asked me sternly, pinning my wrists down.

He didn't wait for any answer and started kissing me again. When he explored my mouth for the last twenty minutes, he finally took a breath and rolled off me. I stared at the ceiling as he brushed the dust from his jeans.

"You should clean your room," he commented. "If this problem persists, I will be forced to do it with you in the bed while Nicoline is sleeping."

"What happened to the line?"

"It was an expression, dear." L countered back. "I was simply pointing out that the untidiness of this room makes me refuse to have any sex with you if it will not be done in the bed."

"I'm a working student."

"Working is implied here as whoring around during nights, right?"

"If it is with George, whoring is suitable." I sat on his lap, facing him, leaning him firmly on the wall. "If it is with you, I call it Social Studies."

"So George brings out the slut in you." He thought about it, tapping a finger on his chin. "And I bring out the innate desire of yours to be all intelligent?"

"Yes," I smiled sweetly. "Your attitude of being a pompous ass is contagious."

He kissed my nose and then pushed me off him. He stood up and looked down at me, "Have some good night sleep."

"I thought we will scare the living shit out of Nicoline by making her believe that there is a monster in her bed?"

L thought about it for a long moment then he grinned. "I couldn't pass that opportunity. Let's do it, love."

"While pulling her, we should sing."

"I agree," he snapped his fingers. "Perhaps a song by 'The Veronicas' since I watched their concert when I first arrived here."

"I know those twins!" I said. "How about '4ever'?"

"Wasn't that the song playing when we first met?" he asked me curiously.

"It surely fits the mood." I answered back as we positioned ourselves back under the bed.

The first morning rays soon arrived as we hid there under the bed.

"L, I have a question to ask."

"Yes," he answered immediately. "Your breasts look a lot bigger with that tank top."

"Thank you."

We heard the bed creaked when Nicoline moved. We heard her yawn and we tried not to make any more noise as we waited for the right time. She finally put down her feet in the floor and at L's signal, we pulled her down. She started screaming the moment our fingers clutched her.

"_Come on, baby, we ain't gonna live forever. Let me show you all the things that we could do. You know you wanna be together. I wanna spend the night with you! Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah. Come on, baby, live! We can make the night last forever, oh, oh."_

We didn't manage to pull her in because Nicoline really struggled and fought back. When she was crawling away and leaning on the wall, trying to breathe, we got out under the bed and grinned at her.

"You call yourselves intellectuals!" she hissed.

"Bored intellectuals, my lovely!" I pointed out. "We bored ones could do crazy stuff."

"By making me feel like I am in a horror movie?" she snapped back.

"That is the whole idea basically," L answered quietly. "But the other half of the bargain is just to show how much we adore you flawlessly."

Nicoline glared at us the whole time. L saw no reason to stick around so he stood up and proclaimed, "I have other business to attend to. Being your professor in college is not the reason why I am here in the first place."

"So you do have a double life?" I implied.

"Truth must be told so I must confess." L cleared his throat. "My work is none of your business, Francesca and Nicoline. But the reason why I decided to teach in college is because I need a reason to cover what I really do for a living."

"Who cares?" Nicoline went to the bathroom opposite the bed.

"That's the spirit!" L remarked and then he looked at me. "You're not going to get the information out of me even if you flaunt your cleavage like that."

"At least I tried."

"It's exactly five-fifty-five in the morning, I must bid you now a pleasant au revoir." He walked to the door and twisted the knob, "Till then we best depart."

"See you in class an hour from now." Nicoline called out from the bathroom.

"We have class?" L asked, dumfounded. "I didn't know!"

He rushed out without saying another word.

When Nicoline went out of the bathroom, she approached me and said, "I think L works as an undercover agent for a spy organization or something. A man with his wits and strategies should be some kind of an authority figure somehow."

One could only hope.

"And I think he's diabetic too." Nicoline dropped that comment offhandedly as I sat there, daydreaming about L's real job. Mine includes a sword, a white stallion and a big castle. I snorted a laugh.

Yeah, one could only hope.


	7. Lectures with nothing but Booze

**A/N: Affirmed once again with such long and meaningful reviews. I would like to thank celestial divination for such kind words about my talent. I'm glad that you are interested to know me as a person. I'm boring as a person. I'm much more exciting as a writer. Those are isolated entities of mine although I could allow friendships to everyone who read this story with so much enthusiasm. I make it to point to mention all of you here because this literary work is my brother so it is a big part of me.**

**How do I write my dialogues? Dialogues are very tricky so I have to choose them through speaking them aloud and acting them out to make sure that they fit together. You would find me really odd if you see me doing a dialogue by myself. I see the world through a pen and paper but it doesn't mean that my wall is that thick that I feel nothing anymore. I need angst to write. I have a gift in seeing through people's façades and just break them into characters in my stories because human beings are interesting, a certain Shinigami once said. I mean, they like hurting each other but that is part of the package.**

**Anyway, this is Harley Cooper, a writer humbled in your presence, my dear reader because you have tolerated her fantasies (e.g. this story) and believed in her talent as always. **

**With all love and accomplishment,**

**-Writer of Sorts-**

00—00—00—00—00—00

_We despair for anonymity yet we want to be recognized for it_

_Why is it we only become real to ourselves_

_When we become everything and nothing at the same time?_

_-A Cooper Saying-_

00—00—00—00—00—00

**Lectures on seduction with nothing but booze**

Nicoline was clutching me tightly by the arm the whole time and I guess for the rest of the night as we made our way on the third floor of our dormitory flat. The first distinct smell was alcohol that tickled my nose in the most unpleasant way imagined. Even before I could focus my eyesight on the place, I clearly detected the ravage feeling of hormones that shot up in the evening air with its usual vigor. I smiled confidently, allowing a sense of hypocrisy flow through me. I pulled Nicoline as I walked and as I passed the swarming crowds of people who are all wasted and heated, I simply thought that life is as painful as an unwanted tattoo in your butt. You just have to be so drunk to have it done. That's how life works. You have to be oblivious and strung out hard to be able to throw yourself into a lynch mob of frat boys and horny sorority girls.

This is the night of the most glamorous college drinking party. I am not sure why I was here again but that is me and the other fifty girls in this floor. We really don't have an idea why we engage in such activity. No one knows why making out with nameless strangers and soaking each other with unnecessary compliments about each other's aesthetics is appealing. No one knows why ripping each other's clothes off in front of everyone, passing out after your tenth drink and degrading your self-respect into the lowest level is the lifestyle of the American college student. No one really knows why. I have no idea why I am here, just _loooooving_ the culture. But I have no time pondering about the whole thing. I just have to find the two of us a place where no testosterone-minded jock would hit on us.

"Killer party!" Trey approached us. I don't mind Trey. I like him especially in Social Studies class.

"Oh yeah?" I have to shout as I speak to him. The music is playing like somebody brought a hundred sound systems. "Wait until roofies are spiked in every girl's drink. That's when hormones will reach a maximum pitch of violence."

"You're worried about getting raped?" Trey shouted back. We're literally a yard from each other and yet we can't hear a thing. I should study lip reading next time I attend a party like this.

"I'm worried that nobody is worried about getting raped."

"Cheska, you're the only notorious female student in the campus who shows off how much she hates boys and makes it to point that if one flirts with her, she doesn't blow him off quietly." Trey handed me a beer. I took it weakly.

"I didn't blow George off." I shouted back. I think my eardrums and my vocal chords are bleeding with this conversation. "And if you got really original last year when you were trying to sleep with me, I could have been nicer."

"We all know you're a naughty nutshell." Trey laughed and his laugh was not even audible with all the noise. "And no thanks, I think seeing how much George suffers, I don't want to get involved with you anymore. You need some corner to sit? Some place away from all this crap?"

"Yeah, that would be good!" I shouted again. "I think my friend and I will appreciate it, Trey."

I glanced at Nicoline as Trey pulled me by the hand. She was pale and shaking and she hasn't even got a drink yet. The night is young and promising.

"This is the best place I could get you in," Trey motioned us to the terrace. Nicoline immediately sat in one of the chairs, taking a big gulp of oxygen as she rested her hands on her knees.

"How you feel, Nic?" Trey asked her.

"Like a screwdriver is secured inside my chest and it's going up and down." Nicoline answered blankly, pale as ever.

"I can get you some water," Trey smiled and then looked at me. "I promise I won't spike her drink. You could trust me. I'm a real gentleman. Probably the only gentleman here left alive. They fed the rest of us to the lions."

"Okay, Trey, just get me some chips with that." I waved him off and he left.

"Refresh my memory on how you managed to convince me again to go with you." Nicoline leaned on the chair in the most comfortable position she could afford.

"I hypnotized you and duct taped your hands together as I dragged you in here." I replied. "I think you would like that version better than the real thing that includes you blabbering about being bored and accepting my solution."

"The solution that turned out to be chaos," she added. "Yeah, I prefer the one when you hypnotized, duct taped and dragged me in here. At least I was unwilling and taken advantage of in that version. God, I can't believe what an ass you are for deceiving me into this!"

"It's college, baby." I chuckled. "Somebody has to get drunk and busy."

"I don't like the taste of beer." She made a face. "And I would just sit here and--" she turned to look at the other corner where a couple is making out, "apparently watch the details of sexual engagement in this angle. Yeah, this is not going to be boring. Thank you, Cheska and I'm being sarcastic."

I motioned to an invisible audience. "My prude of a best friend everyone!"

Nicoline rolled her eyes. Trey came back with her water and my chips. The three of us chatted for awhile until the conversation drifted into a new topic.

"Did you hear?' Trey asked us, leaning closer. "Melanie Richards is planning on seducing Prof. L. She was quite curious about him since rumors have been circulating in the campus about his unconventional style of teaching."

"I don't care about L Lawliet," Nicoline grumpily remarked. "Melanie will fail. L has high standards. Besides, he likes mental orgasm and not physical sex."

"Mental orgasm?" Trey raised an eyebrow. "That dude professor is the best thing that happened in college! I propose a toast to him!"

He raised his beer can. "To our favorite professor!"

I raised mine as well, "To L Lawliet, man of mystery."

And so did Nicoline. "To the ego-inflated son of a bitch."

"You okay with that, Cheska?' Trey asked me after the toast has been commenced. "There is also another rumor around campus that you sort of have this thing with him going on."

"Yeah, mental orgasm." Nicoline remarked.

"I don't have a fling with him, Trey, my gentleman." I smiled at him. "We have friendship that is purely based with the fact that we have the same principles in life. Now about this issue with Melanie Richards, I think this is more of revenge since Tawny dropped from her sorority and didn't specify why. I think Melanie knows it's L's fault so she plans on doing him."

"She will fail." Nicoline added sulkily. "Let's talk about something else."

"Are you sure you are not bothered with this?" Trey asked. "I think you have feelings for this guy."

"I satisfy him well enough." I smiled widely.

"With what?"

"Say it, dear."

"Mental orgasm." Nicoline raised her glass of water.

"Mental orgasm?" Trey raised his beer can, eyeing me curiously.

I raised mine too. "Mental orgasm."

As we were having that particular conversation, Tawny entered the scene.

"Oh my god, did you hear?" she asked us nervously.

"Melanie Richards, seduction, Prof. L, major sabotage." Trey enumerated. "We were on it just now."

"This is my fault!" Tawny took a seat beside me. "I shouldn't have dropped from my sorority and now Prof. L is paying for it. He was so good to me. Probably the only person who appreciates me."

"What are you worried about?" Trey tapped her knee amiably. "You're a new girl now. You don't have to blame yourself for becoming a better person. Melanie is bad news and you deserve more than her company. Besides, Cheska assured us that Prof. L wouldn't give in that easy."

"Why not?" Tawny inquired.

"I can say it a million times and won't get sick of it." Nicoline said. "Mental orgasm."

"Is that even real?' Tawny laughed.

"Apparently it exists in the dysfunctional minds of my best friend and our professor."

I tapped an index finger in my chin and pretended to look lost in thought until they noticed it and asked what I was thinking about.

"Is it going to happen tonight?" I asked.

"Yes," Tawny rubbed her palms together. "Look, guys, I think we should be really worried. You don't know Melanie like I do. She can bend anybody's pride. We have to stop her."

"Trey, did you bring enough chips for everyone?" I asked him.

"Yeah, why?"

I stood up and looked at them one by one, grinning widely. "Ladies and gentleman, we are going to watch cinematic excellence tonight."

As they gave me their own versions of you-are-crazy-you-should-get-arrested-for-that-reason look, I searched for Melanie Richards inside as I stood there. My eyes finally found her there surrounded with other pledges. I sipped my beer and was greatly pleased of the situation. I know L would come tonight. He promised me that he has something very important to show me. It can wait however since he has an appointment with the most resourceful slut in the university.

I walked back inside and Nicoline and the others reluctantly followed. I stepped outside the room and saw him there, climbing up the stairs, eyes down with his thumb between his lips. He looked up when he saw me.

"Young lady."

"Prof. L."

"May I have a word with you?"

"Do you want to play a game?"

"Most certainly." L noticed my smile and it got his attention.

"It's the ultimate catch of messing with somebody's head." I said with a sultry voice. "Would you give it a try?"

"I could prolong the activity if it fascinates you that much." L was standing close to me now that I can faintly smell strawberries in his breath. I caressed his cheek with my hand, pushed my mouth to his in a quick kiss to taste that strawberry sweetness and then whispered to him casually. "I love you, L Lawliet."

His eyes flickered in glee. "You better."

"Prof. L!" Trey and Tawny said together as they blocked his way to the door. "Don't come inside. You're in danger!"

"I'm warmed with my students' concern," he tapped them in the shoulder and then pushed them apart. "But I'm an adult and I like to enjoy myself."

He entered the room and the music decreased. People looked at him the instant he passed them by. Whispers were pronounced. Smiles were produced. Melanie Richards came along.

"Good evening, professor." She smiled at him, showing a perfect set of white teeth. She turned to the rest and hissed. "Leave us!"

The music's volume increased again and people went back to their business. Melanie pulled L by the arm and led him upstairs. Trey and Tawny looked horrified.

"Prof. L must be a virgin, right?" Trey asked me. "Are you sure that kind of man is safe around a temptress like Melanie Richards?"

"I'm telling you, Melanie can get anything she wants!" Tawny pushed on.

I just laughed. Nicoline yawned and was already eating the chips.

"So what do we do now?" Trey asked me as we headed upstairs.

"We watch."

"What?" Tawny thundered. "That is preposterous! What the hell are you trying to pull off anyway?"

I stood in front of the room where the game is being played. "That no one messes with my man with me around. All of you just sit back and relax. I knew just the right angle we could watch them in progress."

I walked back downstairs and went outside the flat. I walked around the property and found the perfect spot. The others finally caught up with me.

"Give me a lift, big man." I said to Trey. He obliged and helped me climb up. I cling unto anything I could and stayed there. I called out to them in a whisper. "Tawny, Nic, come here."

Tawny shook her head, "No, no, no! I'm not going--"

"Oh, screw it, I want in!" Nicoline went up to me with Trey's help.

"Tawny, last chance." Trey teased, offering his shoulder with a smile. Tawny scoffed and decided to join after all. As the three of us were hanging there, I tried to see through the window. It's a good thing there were no curtains. I saw Melanie standing up in front of L who was sitting on the bed. We watched quietly and tried to listen to what they were talking about.

"So, here we are." Melanie smiled at him, moving her hips hypnotically. She is a beautiful girl. But like any beautiful girl, who likes using her beauty, she is brain dead.

"Yes, here we are indeed." L replied blankly.

Melanie was not in a talkative mood. She pushed him slightly to the bed and lay on top of him. "Would this position be appropriate, professor?"

"Superb." L simply said.

She leaned down and kissed him. Tawny gasped when he watched how L responded back. They kissed longer than expected. Melanie's hands trailed down his trousers, trying to unzip his fly.

Nicoline yawned, still believing that this would fail. On the other hand, Tawny was complaining. "We should put a stop to this! Cheska, you can't let this go on!"

I was watching intently. I didn't move from my place. I emptied my thoughts and just trusted him.

"You better shut up or the fun will end," I warned Tawny firmly.

"You don't know Melanie like I do."

I smiled at her. "Well, you don't know L like I do."

L switched position with Melanie. They stopped kissing. Melanie giggled. "You're quite good with your tongue. It's such a shame I don't get to be in your class. I hear you give good oral lectures."

L said nothing. Melanie took off her blouse and threw it across the window. She smiled compelling at him and pulled him into another kiss. L kept his eyes opened the whole time.

"Miss Richards?"

"Enough with the formality, professor." Melanie licked his lips. "I'm not your student tonight. You could do anything you want with me. Unless of course this is the only way I could get an A-plus, I might as well go all the way without limits. You might like that."

"I might," he replied, running his fingers on her hair. "Do tell me, Miss Richards, what kind of man do you think I am?"

"The kind who is sexually frustrated." Melanie reached down to grab his junk. Tawny gasped again. Trey called out, asking what is going on.

"Hold on," Melanie looked at him puzzlingly. "Why aren't you turned on?"

"Probably because your hand is on my dick that it refuses erection," L smiled and pushed her hand away. He stood up.

"One thing you should learn, Miss Richards," L explained, "is that I don't like beautiful women. Beautiful women, that is, who are only good looking at. A beautiful woman is an authentic one when she is more than a face. Do tell, when you were sticking down your finger on your throat to puke out the bagel you ate this morning, did you somehow drop your personality in the toilet bowl?"

"You asshole!" Melanie shouted. "You should be grateful that I want to bang you!"

"Shall I consider this a privilege then?" L asked curiously. "Shall I consider this engagement as compelling as you planned it to be? You are quite disappointing. I was hoping you could give more than that."

"Oh, I can!" Melanie pushed him to the wall and kissed him violently. Nicoline was now paying attention, smiling slightly. Tawny could have clapped her hands but then she realized she is hanging on a window with Trey below.

When Melanie pulled away from the kiss, L smacked his lips and said. "That certainly ruined my appetite. You do taste like vomit and beer, an unpleasant combination."

Melanie turned red and slapped him.

"I could report you for sexual harassment!" Melanie shouted at him, heading towards the door. L was fast. He managed to get to the door and leaned against it. Then he smiled.

"You're very ugly." He simply told her.

"You fucking--"

"You destroy yourself by destroying people," he continued. "You rise in the expense of others. You're a felon in your own simple ways. You do what you can to exploit weaker ones. It is a pathetic and disgraceful habit but you are very much inclined to it since you have nothing else to be good at. You're a scheming filth that feeds off from the glory of being a bully. You didn't come here for education. You came here to successfully market yourself as the prostitute of this university. You're also a thief. You steal people's dignity after you made them believe you care about them. You're living a dirty life, Miss Richards, this silly sorority of yours is shameful and degrading to all young girls like Miss Tawny."

"You have no right to--"

"I am L Lawliet," he said calmly. "I have a reputation that is no match to yours. The university has chosen me to correct students like yourself before you do any more mess to taint the legacy of this prestigious school. They will believe a word I say since I am hired to do my job well."

He opened the door. "So party as you please, my child. Tomorrow will be the last day you will see the inside of this institution."

Melanie Richards didn't bother to take her blouse with her. She rushed downstairs and we didn't see her again. L stood there with his hands on his pockets and then he walked to the window and opened it.

"Was that pleasurable to you, young lady?" he asked politely.

I just smiled. Trey called out again.

"My man!" L said to him. "Would you be kind enough to help Nicoline and Tawny to go down there? I want to have a word with Francesca."

Trey saluted the professor and helped my friends as he was told.

I was still hanging as I spoke to him. "You're the cleverest man I laid eyes on."

"You silly thing!" he reached out for me. "Your arms must be tired. Come, come, we would better understand each other if we're comfortable."

When I was lifted up from my position, I immediately collapsed in his arms. I listened to his heartbeat for a while and then looked up to him. The intense dark pools of ink stared at me.

"Francesca," he began. "I wanted to tell you a lot of things."

"You could begin now while we still have time."

He smiled sadly. "There is more than one line between us that's getting in the way."

"Okay," I answered. "So there are several lines including your undercover job."

"In a more dangerous way than you could imagine."

I sighed and run my fingers on his hair. "I just confessed to you. Don't you dare dump me or I will emasculate you."

"Quite scary that would be," he smiled happily now. "Do you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

"Our bodies are pressed so I could assume you feel it."

My eyes rounded slightly and then I laughed. "Yes, I feel it. Took you awhile to get turned on."

"Your mind games turn me on just enough," he answered, pulling me closer to him. "Do you think we need another mental orgasm?"

"We just had one, idiot." I laughed, kissing him on the forehead. "I think we should give it a rest for tonight. We don't want to rush the process."

L nodded. "I enjoy the slow, torturous moment of platonic flirtation."

"Do you want me to help you wash off the taste of vomit and beer in your mouth?"

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"I can clean it with my own saliva."

L did something really ridiculous. He laid me down with his arms supporting my back as he bent down as well. He kissed me tenderly and I held on to the perfect moment. When it ended, I pulled myself up and grinned at him. He blushed to my surprise.

"What?" I asked.

"I just realized your confession and how it made me feel like a fool."

"Well," I felt blushing myself. "Do you feel the same way?"

"Let us not get corny." He shook his head. "I don't want that crap where we have to start getting mushy and teary-eyed."

"Do I look like the kind of girl who would do such a horrid thing to you, professor?" I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I could guess that you practically hate romantic films as well as fairy tale books."

"You know the answer to your question." L simply said. "But the ways are always complicated."

"Do you mind if I say it again?"

"Do as you please."

"I love you, L Lawliet. I love your hair. I love your eyes. I love your diabetic cravings. I love your intelligence. I love the way you get a hard-on. I love our mental orgasms. I love the way you smile rarely. I love the way you lie to me and play around with me just to see if I could take it. I love you." I said it all without taking a breath.

"Quite a few reasons but you're just learning the basics." He chuckled. "I still have a lot to teach you."

"Perhaps how to conjure masturbation with the mind." Nicoline appeared in the doorway. "And if you will do that in our room, professor, please not under my bed."

"Why, lovely, you can be taught a thing or two--"

"Save it!" Nicoline walked closer to him and placed a finger on his lips. And then she kissed him quickly there. She looked at me and remarked. "I just want to know if his lips are literally candy from all that sugar."

L put a dramatic hand on his chest. "Forgive me, dear, but I don't feel the same way for you."

"Go die!" Nicoline turned away and left.

L looked back at me, placing his hands inside his pockets, hunching as he stood. "Shall we go to your abode downstairs?"

I felt my heart thumping against my chest. Love is just pure perception but something in that fantasy will always be real. As I placed my hand around his arm and walked with him, I knew that what I got myself into would be harder to be disentangled from in the future. In the ugly world of college boredom, I was left with no choice.

God knows logic is love in denial. Welcome to Lawliet Education.


	8. Lectures with Mango Pie

**A/N: I read this story again from chapter one to the present and was amazed on how I manage to write such an entertaining piece of literature. When I first posted this, it took two weeks for somebody to read it. Within those two weeks, I was thinking of deleting it because I thought it was nothing special. Yet I trusted my instincts and said to myself that this one is something else so I held onto that belief and I was right! **

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_A dash of salt on open wounds_

_A teaspoon of sugar on the loins_

_A bitter sophistication, grace_

_To fix them up, the frays_

_-A Cooper Prose-_

00--000--000--00

**Lectures on a date with mango pie**

"I think the main idea of your proposal is to enable yourself to cross the line when I have clearly insisted that the crossing could only be done once you turn eighteen."

"I think the main reason of this argument is that I'm able to determine that you're impractical when it comes to this matter and you're already getting in my nerves!"

Nicoline looked at either of us and said, "I think the truth behind this conversation is it is pointless and I clearly told you before that there is no hiding under my bed and I hate you both."

"I think nothing." Trey placed his arms behind his head, grinning. "I'm just a carefree idiot."

The morning started as normal as it could get and since normal is boring, my professor, with my classmate Trey, came to our dorm room and L asked me to go out on a date with him. I was thrilled that I blurted out that it might be the perfect time to finally have sex with him since I stopped seeing George. L gave me a childish scornful look and told me that I'm being unreasonable. So I hit him in the arm to show what a mature adult I am. He showed that he is the real adult here as well by crawling under Nicoline's bed. We spent twenty minutes arguing. Nicoline is about to lose it. Trey was just eating a French toast in the corner.

"We don't want this kind of fight, L." I told him. "This is useless. We both know that we're just messing around. Well, I want sex. I want it with you since I watched you lick your spoon. You want it too so why don't you just admit it?"

"I admit that I feel so passionately about you, young lady." He answered back from under the bed. "But you could not avoid that fact that although it is consensual, I am still the older person here and I must learn to restrain you. You are young and fickle, love and I don't want to see you wasting time on this. So yes, this is useless."

"Are you afraid that once I fuck you, you would lose your appeal and bore me?" I asked him, laughing slightly. "Don't be absurd! I'm sure you could knock me off my socks if we do it and once we keep doing it."

A pause. "I still refuse. By the way, you analogy sucks. It's disappointing."

"L Lawliet, stand up and face me like a man."

"It's tempting but I like the view from here."

"That's it!" Nicoline scratched her head in irritation. "I'm going to take a bath and when I come back here, he is out of the bed."

"L, please." I knelt down and looked under the bed. He was lying down, hugging himself, and looking silly with those innocent dark eyes of his staring back at me. "Do you really think that this could sabotage what we're enjoying? Are you worried that once we take this seriously, the feeling would be gone?"

He made a smug face. "You're reading too much into this. I just think it is inappropriate for your age to have sex with an older man. Please respect that decision, Francesca. If our feelings for each other are that strong then we don't need intercourse to prove it."

"Okay, a bargain then." I suggested. "We could go out on a date right now but then you have to promise that there would be a lot of kissing."

"We can settle for that" He slowly got out of the bed.

"I want it all; your saliva, your tongue, your mouth, your breath…" I giggled, pulling him out. "I guess I'm just married to all of them."

"Okay!" Trey stood up, finishing his bread. "Before you share all that, just think what will happen if the dean finds out!"

"Everyone in the campus knows!" Nicoline called out from the bathroom. "What's the point of hiding? The only reason L didn't get kicked out is because of his double life. Relax, Trey. Watch them exchange liquids and shut up."

We took her last phrase as our cue. L leaned closer to me and then we kissed. The look of arousal mixed with disgust on Trey's face is priceless.

"This is what I get for following around my favorite professor?" Trey beamed. "Free college porn?"

"Get out of the room!" Nicoline pushed Trey to the door. "I mean, all three of you! Just get out of the room!"

"Why so uptight?" Trey asked as he was pushed violently outside.

"I have no time for this!" Nicoline was agitated and waving her hands around. "Finals is two months from now! I need to study and all of you are getting in the way!"

L looked at me and whispered. "She studies two months in advance?"

"Yeah," I smiled to myself. "She has to maintain her grades."

L looked at Nicoline imploringly. "Someday you will get laid."

Before Nicoline explodes completely, we dashed rapidly outside the room with Trey and found ourselves in the school hallway.

"So what do we do now?" Trey asked, grinning.

"Um, you have to get lost." I said, knitting my eyebrows together and crossing my arms.

"And fast." L added.

"Oh, come on. I can be chaperone!"

"I'm twenty-four, Trey." L rolled his eyes.

"Well..." Trey tried looking for another excuse. Seeing that he has no chance on convincing us, he threw his hands up in the air and walked away.

"Where shall we go now, young lady?" L asked politely.

"Since it's a weekend and I have a strong hangover from last night," I took him by the arm and we started walking. "How about we just find some place secret and kiss?"

"Salivating is not a good habit for a budding relationship like ours."

"So where should we go?" I asked him inquiringly.

"How about we just talk?"

"As we walk around?"

"It is a rather tasty option."

"What can we talk about?"

L thought for a while and then replied. "Why do you like to wear eyeliner that thick?"

I batted my eyelashes. "It hides the eye bugs. Of course, you would proudly say that you're not ashamed of yours."

L massaged the dark circles under his eyes. "Yeah, I don't really care that much on how I look. People who care about physical looks mean nothing to me. Might I point out though that you have really pretty eyes and I like the shape and the cosmetics is just ruining it."

"My eyes do feel heavy when I wear eyeliner this thick." I answered. "Although it makes me feel beautiful. I always thought it emphasizes my eyes."

"It does," L said. "You look like a panda."

"Yours is the real thing though."

He chuckled and placed his arm around me. When we were finally outside, he turned me into a corner. It was a shopping store for women. We entered it.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked as I watched him look through clothes. The salesladies were all eyeing him disgustedly. It might be because of his unruly hair. It might be because of those untied rubber shoes. It might be because of the cheap white shirt and jeans get-up. Or maybe just the feeling you get when you see a guy like him walking around a fashion store. It was the total irony. Freaking paradox.

"Why are you rummaging through women's clothing, L?" I asked him again. He raised a tank top in return.

"Look at this size." He said. "No girl has this shape."

"It's a size two, L." I laughed. "All girls would like to have that shape."

"If you're a bamboo stick."

"Girls in size two have nice breasts and butts." I reasoned out.

"Girls who have thin waists probably have fake breasts and butts." L explained. "It's not possible for a girl this thin to have curves. It's called symmetry."

"So you prefer chubby ones?"

"I'm with you so far, right?"

"He just called you fat, girl friend!" One of the salesladies approached and leaned against me, smiling. "If I were you, I will dump his ass. He does have a point. Why don't you lay off the doughnuts? It goes down in your thighs and hips."

I looked at her with a swift, calculating glance. I took something from my purse. It was actually Nicoline's lotion but what the hell, I'm in for some serious advertising. "Tired of sticking your finger down your throat every lunch break? Lose weight the easy way! Ask me! Just apply this ointment into your 'love handles' and voila! You will lose thirty pounds. Tired of getting fat with all that bone marrow in your body? Try this product! You're into fast results with this baby!"

L laughed at that. Then he asked the saleslady. "Why did this blouse shrink?"

"It's a size two!" The saleslady clenched her teeth and glared at the both of us.

"Okay," L tossed it at her and asked innocently. "Why do you have a body of a twelve-year old boy? I look like that when I was twelve."

She scoffed and went back to wherever famine-contaminated area she came from.

"Why are we here again?" I asked him curiously.

"I just want to understand why beautiful women like that one is trying to lose such wasteful weight." L frowned. "Why not read more books, study law, get a degree in medicine if you want to get somebody interested in your well-being? Why not teach children or volunteer in any organization that is all about world peace or something like that. It's just weird. I have no idea why they could afford to be perfect looking all the time. It is virtually impossible. I don't see how the world will become a better place if somebody would give a damn about their size two clothes and their cute bags and their fabulous shoes and their eating disorders."

"You know, don't worry about it too much. People like them will not get the reason why people like us love to eat!"

"Speaking of which," L raised something. "I want you to wear this."

"I have plenty of lingerie," I took it from him and returned it to the shelf. "And speaking of which, I want to eat a meal. And that would not fit me. I'm a size four."

L looked at me from head to foot. "And loving all of it."

I laughed and took him by the arm as we made our way to the real world where people die of crimes and violence and not because they don't have Dolce and Gabbana in their closets. The actual world where people eat three times a day. The world called earth whose inhabitants are human beings who are not afraid of gaining a little weight. My world.

"That was actually fun, insulting skinny bitches." I remarked. "Do you think she is the type you won't get tired of banging?"

"Banging? Like shooting her in that empty surface of hers she calls a brain?" L replied defensively. "I would certainly do so. But sexual gratification? What happened to mental orgasm, young lady? I doubt that she could hold my interest if all she would ask me is if looks good in this and that. I'd answer that yes, she is hot in anything she wears, now can she please tell me what she thinks of the nuclear threat from North Korea? I believe she will answer that all Asians are geeks."

"Clearly you have good taste in women." I smiled and winked at him.

"Ah, you flatter your self-esteem by doing unnecessary remarks about what an adorable package you are, nice."

I kissed him on the cheek as we continued strolling around. We passed by other couples and I could see L was quite awkward about the two of us together. He looked around suspiciously. When we were inside the park, he quickly pulled away from me and shoved his hands inside his pockets, pretending as if he doesn't know me. I gave him a queer, introspecting look and said nothing. I got tired of walking so I decided to sit on a bench. L stood in front of me.

"Why are you sitting now?"

"You mean besides the fact that my boyfriend is afraid to be seen with me?"

"I'm not your boyfriend," He sat on the bench beside me, feet up. "Yet."

"So this is the most unusual date I have ever been with."

"Because your date is being an ass?"

"Yes, a pompous, ego-inflated ass."

L nodded in agreement and we stayed in complete silence after that. I tried to be more understanding of his behavior. I knew that he is not an expressive man. I know that appropriate social responses are not his thing. Isn't that the reason why he captivated me? Everything about him is incomparable. I leaned towards his shoulder and rested my head on it. He said nothing and continued staring ahead.

"You don't have to please me." I told him. "And you are never boring."

He just nodded. I swept my hand on his forehead to push away his bangs. I stared into his eyes and he stared back. "You are handsome, you know that?"

He raised his eyebrow skeptically and still didn't say a word.

"I am not saying it because I am horny or anything like that." I smiled. "But like you said, physical looks mean nothing to you. I guess that's why this 'look' is handsome."

He still said nothing. I sighed. "Are you mad at me, L?"

He shook his head gravely as he placed down his feet on the ground. He slowly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close into a hug. I didn't mind questioning him why. I just closed my eyes and allowed him. We stayed like that for almost twenty minutes. I didn't really care. We let the silence pour into us. We have been talking and debating about things and sometimes rationality is tiresome. I think he does want to reach out to me emotionally and that effort was very sweet especially if it's coming from a guy as eccentric like him. I feel like he was starting to truly trust me. Maybe I should also stop holding back while hiding myself behind the bitchy, spontaneous slut of a façade. L has a way to overwhelm me. I wonder if I make him feel the same way.

Then I heard a familiar voice that spoiled the mood.

"Buy one, take one! This is the best mango pie in town!"

I heard L muttered. "Mango pie."

"Don't think it, L."

"Mango pie."

Someday he will love me like he loves his diabetic cravings. I'm going to aim high for that. I turned around and was amazed to see who it was.

"That's Amy!" I hissed at L. "Don't look, L! She can't know we're dating."

"Why not?"

"I'm gonna pretend you did not just ask me that!" I covered myself with a hand. L just shrugged his shoulders and did the same thing.

"This wouldn't be helping us to disguise ourselves," L remarked. "If you want to hide, act natural."

I let out a sigh and lowered my hand from my face. "Don't look at her, L! It's impolite to stare. Now don't show that we are talking about her right now. Don't even--"

He grinned and waved at Amy, calling out loudly. "Hi Amy! We're not talking about you!"

Crap.

"Prof. L?" Amy slowly approached. I decided to just face her and greet her back.

"Cheska?" Amy grinned. "I have no idea that the two of you are together. Do you want to buy some mango pies?"

As she was speaking, L already grabbed the box of mango pie and was eating them. I rolled my eyes and nudged him to stop. He paid no attention.

"So, the rumors are true." Amy smiled mischievously. "I mean, I think the two of you are meant to be together. You're like two magnets that attract."

"Uh huh," I answered weakly. "How much is the mango pie?"

"You could have it for free!" She looked at L and said. "Thank you for everything, Prof. L. You have done so many things for me as well as for the class. I will never forget the day we met."

"I will never forget you too, Amy." L smiled back. "This is excellent mango pie!"

"I am glad you like it!" she sat beside L and started talking. "My grandmother made it. At first I refuse to sell them when she asked me two months ago. I was a really prissy suck-up back then. When you notice and pointed it out, I changed for the best. My grandmother and I rarely fight now. I am so glad that you were always there for me--"

"Amy--"

"The banana was everything I eat now because it reminds me of you--"

"Amy--"

"And I look forward to Social Studies class every single minute of my life--"

"Amy, we're on a date!" I blurted out.

She gasped and then happily pinched L by the cheek. "Of course you are!"

Amy stood up and grinned at us. "You two kids have fun, okay? Where are you guys going?"

"Actually, we were having a nice moment before your interruption." I said moodily.

"The mango pie is excellent." L's cheeks were bloated as he shoved the said pie on his mouth.

"Shut up, L."

Amy nodded happily again. "All right! I can take a hint. I will see you guys in school, okay? Love you, Cheska! Love you so much and much more, Prof. L!"

When she left, I glared back at L. "You shouldn't have."

L frowned and looked really apologetic. He wiped the crumbs from the corners of his lips and placed down the box of mango pie on his side. He looked at me and spread his arms, urging us to go on. I smiled gently and hugged him again. He fondled my hair and we stayed in the perfect moment as long as we could manage. I swear to god that if somebody would interrupt us again, I will be suffocating him with a piano wire. He pulled away slightly and kissed me on the lips tenderly. As I was about to let the emotion overpower me, finally surrendering myself to the most real feeling I ever had in my entire life--

"OH--MY--GOD!"

Reality bites me in the ass.

"OH MY GOD!" It was Megan and Lisa, Brandon's girlfriend and other girl. We talked about them back in the janitor's closet. This is just great, whoopie-doobie-doo great.

"I could not believe that this is where forbidden couples are canoodling!" Lisa exclaimed.

"This is unexpected!" Megan's smile was bright. "I did not imagine that I would see you guys here! What are the odds, right?"

"So the campus rumors are true this time."

"Teacher-student affair is just deliciously wicked."

"Not to mention I am so envious!"

"And hot! God, Cheska! You got to him first."

"Prof. L, you are the cuddliest little thing I ever laid my eyes on!"

"Would you go out with me too?"

"Megan, he is unavailable!" Lisa replied. "And you have Brandon."

"You had him too, remember!"

"Oh my god, you're right!"

"Wait, hold on!" I raised my arms up. That was some talk. "Megan knows that Lisa and Brandon are doing it?"

"I am not an idiot!" Megan pointed out. "I told him that he can't have us both so I dumped him."

"I did not take him back." Lisa added. "So Megan and I are besties now!"

"Like totally."

"Shut up!"

"So fetch!"

"Okay!" I cut them off. "Enough with the chit-chat, ladies. We really need some privacy."

"Why are you here in public then?"

I paused. "Good question. Nicoline kicked us out."

"What a bitch."

"Screw her! Screw little Miss Catholic nun."

L was obviously enjoying this. He said to the both of them. "The two of you must have really loved Brandon. It took some guts there to let go of whatever special bond you have with him."

Lisa and Megan looked at each other and replied. "Yeah, whatever."

They did some flying kisses at us and then left. I was really starting to get impatient so I turned to L and said. "Can we find some place private?"

He nodded. "I thought you would never ask. I am not particularly cool about public displays of affection."

"You're the one who started it." I stood up and started walking.

"Don't get cranky, Francesca."

I sighed and said I was sorry. I was really in a sullen mood now. I walked ahead of L who walked behind me quietly.

I heard him speak. "I really want this to work out, Francesca."

I stopped walking and faced him. "I do too."

He approached me and smiled. "I know it's not easy. People seek the ugly things in you. It's a matter of time before they start sucking blood from us like leeches."

I placed a hand on his pale cheek. "You have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. People don't matter."

"I am worried." L frowned. "I am worried about you."

"You don't have to be."

"I am going to hurt you so bad someday." He looked away. "I don't live a normal life, Francesca."

I sighed. "I think I have a preview of that."

"You haven't seen the rest of it." L remarked. "But I want you to understand that the reason why I am hiding it is for your own good."

"Thank you," I smiled painfully. "I don't need to know everything. Secrets and deception would be part of the game, right?"

He nodded. "So where do you want to go now?"

"Why don't we go some place safe?"

L thought about that. "A place where no one can take us away."

"A place that would be the last thing anybody will look for."

"A place like--"

"Oh, yes, it would be perfect."

We went back to my dorm room. When I opened the door, Nicoline was not around. We immediately crawled under her bed before she comes back.

"This is the safe place." I remarked happily.

"Though dusty and dark, it is comfy."

"L?"

"Francesca?"

I paused. I took my time. He waited.

"I want to tell you."

"Okay."

"I really mean it."

"I know."

I turned to my side and placed a hand on top of his chest, allowing my palm to feel his heartbeat. "It's real."

"Yes."

"I just wish you would understand."

"Indeed."

"L?"

"Francesca?"

"This is crap, you know." I buried my face in his shoulder.

"You can take an hour stalling, I don't mind."

"It's just three small words."

"Maybe you're not ready."

"But I am!" I pulled myself close to him. "I know that I am not making it up. I know that I found an orgasmic moment with you and by your own definition, it is finding the right combination of mental strategies to reach the climax of sexual needs."

He listened patiently.

"You fill me in, L." I added. "You don't get intimidated with me. You make me smile easily. You let me say what I have in mind. You like me when I am being a bitch. Nobody could want me the way you do."

"You are a handful." He smiled to himself. "And you are my partner who perceives my actions and processes it as a way that you could communicate with me on levels of ruthless synchronization."

"You see everything. You see every part. You see all my light. And you love my dark. You dig everything on which I'm ashamed. There's not anything that you can't relate and you're still here." I recited absentmindedly.

"That's like a song, right?"

"Alanis. See, you also listen to the music I listen to."

"Angst-ridden rock chicks who are either sexually frustrated or lesbians?"

"Good way to put it."

Silence. L shattered it first. "I love you."

I bumped my head when I jerked up. "Ow! What did you just say, L?"

He said nothing. I reached out to him and kissed him against his unresponsive lips. "Okay, I would listen real good next time."

He looked at me sadly. Then he pulled himself out from the under the bed. I followed behind and asked. "What's bothering you, L?"

"I'm leaving, Francesca." He placed his hands inside his pockets and looked at me. "I'm leaving you."

I said nothing. I don't want to understand that.

"I have to." L explained softly. "I am not sure when but I will come back for you."

"I love you too." I could only say.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

"You have to go now?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Okay." I walked towards the door and opened it for him. He stayed where he is and murmured. "Don't cry, Francesca."

"I'm not going to." I laughed. "We're not like other people, L. We are more aware and more logical than the rest of the world. We have no time to waste on stupid emotions."

"It's not a stupid emotion." He walked towards me. "I'm not sure what it is but you can't call it stupid."

When he reached me, he brushed a strand of hair from my face. "Not when you already like it and want it to stay."

He kissed me one last time. I buried myself against his mouth for as long as I could.

"Love is never rational." L assured me. "If it is, it would be the same as anything in the world and that would be boring."

"You were never boring." My voice shook. I tried to turn away but he took me by the chin and made me look at him.

"Goodbye, Francesca."

I let go. "Goodbye, L."

He nodded and smiled and then he walked away. I watched him leave until he finally turned into a corner and disappeared. Twenty minutes after that, Nicoline returned. She found me inside the bathroom tub, staring at nothing. She understood then and did not say a word. She took a chocolate bar and sat beside me inside the tub. She handed me the sweet treat and I took a bite on it. Then after the taste has formed a pleasing sensation in my mouth and throat, I felt okay again.

**Don't get sad just yet, dear readers! The story just took a nice turn! I promise that it would be phenomenal!**


	9. Lectures with Jelly Beans

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**I am a writer who notoriously appreciates her readers very much. I would like to thank and welcome Reych, Akia and Amora and lilsilverphoenix for their support and reviews. To the rest of you who I have mentioned before and were now very dear to me, I shall not forget. A writer with honor and dignity never forgets kindness. Hopefully in the near future, I shall have to mention all of you with these FF names when I have acquired success in my writing career. This is not an empty promise. You will be hearing more from me.**

**To Reych, I have supported THE BUNNY and copy-paste it in my own profile. Thank you for reviewing all of my six stories.**

**BTW, I'm sick today. My health is a disaster and why wouldn't it be? Two hours of sleep or no sleep at all. Unable to eat a meal in three days. Ten hours in front of the computer. I'm gonna go take a rest now.**

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**Lectures on cerebral coitus with Jelly Beans**

How does one cope with the pain of rejection?

Ordinary people would get drunk, seventy-five percent of men, that is. Ordinary people would soothe the pain by fucking anybody available and attainable in a mere pursuit of lust and degradation. Ordinary people would cry and taint their pillows and blankets with sour snout. Ordinary, lame, boring, incapable people would do wishful thinking and runaway from the truth. They would let misery wallow them as if integrity is something they could no longer afford. They would eat a lot or get angry a lot, blaming themselves, the useless, aggravating fools they are! They astound me with their heartbroken lullabies and pathetic excuses to get laid in their most excessive depression state. I am irked with those repulsive habits. I do not share that poignant way of coping with the pain of rejection.

How does Francesca Mendez cope from the pain of rejection?

One: She finds the source, that being her lover L Lawliet.

Two: She comprehends her position. Once she is aware that it is nobody's fault and that things just have a time of their own, she is done with grieving.

And Three: She goes back to life, that being college boredom, that being her prison.

I have not surrendered myself to madness. I knew that it is not out of blind belief that he will return to me. I knew it is true. Don't give me your condolences and advices, I would shit on you. I am particularly fine as of now. I have made several important decisions while he was gone. The first one is not to go back begging George to take me back. As if I care about the wretched worm, that barbarian scum. I nothing him like he is the dirt under my shoe. The second one is to study for the finals with Nicoline. Of course, some Trigonometry would take so much of my time since I detest Mathematics. It is my way of trying to be more serious in my studies. I piss on you if you think otherwise. The final decision I made is to surround myself with the friends I made during L's reign in Social Studies. Trey and Tawny is a pleasant bunch during poker on Fridays. Amy, Lisa and Megan are my girl friends on Saturday Night out. And Nicoline, the tenacious, sweet Mademoiselle is my study partner during weekdays.

I would not wait for him by crying and torturing myself. I would wait for him by going on with my life and be surprised when he comes back into it. Like any romantic girl in love, I do have high hopes. I love him and I want him back. I just don't have to act so desperate to sell this love story of mine to you. I leave that to ordinary people with their usual needless beating and sorrow.

Oh, I forgot to add: I don't listen to silly love songs that could express my heartbreak. Too much of a cliché. Moving on!

Social Studies was now being taught by last year's old professor. Suffice to say, I still participate well in this class though the atmosphere is not his scent. The whole class is also nostalgic about our late professor. I am not the only who is coping from the pain of rejection. I was just the only one who could be a bigger person than the pain.

"I think we need to talk about it someday when you're ready." Nicoline was saying as we were having dinner in our favorite restaurant.

"Bless your soul," I grinned. "I am happy you are trying to be a friend to me but you have done quite enough."

"I want to do you good." Nicoline smiled at me sadly. "You know I want to be around you even when you don't like me to do that."

"Don't be so insecure." I chuckled. "You are a good friend. I don't need to keep you around for my own selfish needs. You could have fun yourself. Don't let me get in the way with that."

"Cheska, I don't get to have fun." Nicoline raised an eyebrow. "You are all I have as of now."

"So it may seem." I regarded her through my wineglass.

When we went back to our dorm room, I found a letter under the door. I picked it up and read it carefully. It was some kind of English stationary.

"What is it?" Nicoline asked.

"It's a conundrum." I handed it to her slowly. She took it with her steady hands then gazed back at me.

"I don't understand."

"Read it aloud to me, Watson."

"_Seek me in the close space, an area deserted. Seek me there and I will bring you a token of my indulgence to the act."_

"I shall conclude that it is from him."

Nicoline stared at me, blinking. "It's been a month since he was gone. Did he come back?"

"We will presume that he did since we are now in possession of his letter." I pointed at the piece of paper. "That is, without doubt, his handwriting."

Nicoline nodded, folding it and then tearing it. I smiled. "That's not nice."

"He left you," Nicoline looked at me sadly. "And you have been a bigger mess since that."

"I am fine." I laughed. "I am not even crying--"

"That's the point! You stopped feeling anything!" she exclaimed. "I know he is something else and I know that it might be destiny but do you really want to go on like this forever?"

"He is back now, isn't he?" I assured her. "And I am going to _seek him in the close space, an area deserted. Seek him there and I will bring you a token of his indulgence to the act._"

Then I grinned at her. She just smiled weakly. "All that drama I did with the paper for nothing. You have a sharp memory."

"Word."

"So do you want me to come with you?" she asked.

I pulled her into an embrace and kissed her against her hair. "This is how I do it. It's not the usual way to deal but I am dealing with it."

Nicoline hugged be back feebly. "When you get tired, you could always find me here. I could even let you and L make out under my bed if it makes you happy."

I looked at her with a wide grin. "Really?"

She grinned back and then hardened her gaze. "No."

"You're a good friend."

I left her and knew exactly where L Lawliet wants me. I went back to the university, trudging along the open hallways and corridors until I reached it. I was excited to know what is that token he was specifying. Upon reaching the janitor's closet and was about to twist the doorknob, I stopped abruptly. I was nervous as hell. I was really worried on how things would turn out. My mind was racing with questions and I have to know exactly why he left and was now back again. I felt like I was deceived. I did not like it. Suddenly I was angry. I stayed staring at the door for almost two minutes. Maybe I wanted him to open it himself so I could punch him in the face. Maybe I just don't want to see him again. Maybe the game is boring to me now. Maybe I was never really in love with him. When that passed my mind, I considered it greatly, logically, reasonably. Seeing that there is more proof that I am in love with him then I believed I am. But seeing that I am thinking about it and not letting the emotion to become real means that it might not be true and is purely a state of mind. Oh hell, I am confused. Do I really want it to be like this forever?

I have to do this, all or nothing. I opened the door and it was dark inside. I stepped in and closed the door behind me. I said nothing. I just stood still.

For almost another minute nothing happened. It was just me and the total darkness. And then I finally heard his voice again and my heart was ripped anew.

"Francesca."

One word from him and I trembled. I tried looking for the switch. When I pressed it on, the light finally came and he was there in the corner. He looked the same. He is as pale and brooding as ever. His clothes, his footwear, his mannerisms…nothing had changed at all. I said nothing. I have nothing to tell him. I just want to look at him.

"Come." He said softly, reaching out a hand. I walked to him in silent stance and held his hand feebly. He stared at me with those beautiful dark pools of ink.

He pulled me closer and I obliged. When our faces were so close together, I did not look away. He placed his cold hands on my face and massaged my cheeks. He was touching me shamelessly, a very rare gesture of his. I do not like it. Something is wrong. It's not supposed to be this corny.

"L, I am happy that you are back." I said in a very neutral tone and I have no idea why I am talking like this.

"Last April 24, you have turned eighteen, did you not?"

I narrowed my eyes. "L, do you want me to cross the line now?"

He smiled slowly and lowered his hands from my face. He leaned against the wall and stared at me thoughtfully. "It's starting to come down to that place. I have felt very passionately about you and I know you share the same sentiment."

"L," I closed my eyes and then opened them again. "How could you still be sure that I want you after all this time?"

"Because," he raised a finger, "I believe we truly love someone for only once in our life span."

"True." I smiled back. I pressed my whole body against him. I run my fingers through his stubborn hair. I leaned towards him slowly and kissed him tenderly on his lips. Our eyes were still gazing at each other as our lips met. It was nothing special. It's not supposed to be. We have established the fact that we are in love and love is not magical. Love is just an emotion. A very good emotion. He kissed me back and gripped me gently by the shoulders. We closed our eyes and stayed like that as long as we could. He opened his mouth to taste the air in my own mouth. He kissed me with such ease for a few minutes. And then he kissed me savagely, sucking, biting and tasting voraciously. I held onto him and pulled him down hungrily. He pushed me to the table behind me and I sat on it quickly when he raised me a little. He grabbed me by the hair and shoved himself breathlessly against my mouth. I moaned in response and rubbed my palms on his chest. L began running his hands on my thighs when he pulled up my skirt. He rubbed so much that my skin was burning in friction and heat. Then he brought his hands up to cup my breasts and then he touched my face again. He did the same gesture for the next fifteen minutes and I was already wasted. We stopped kissing at last and felt our mouths had been completely dried. He chuckled when he looked at my blushing expression. Then he pensively unbuttoned my blouse, taking his absolute time. I waited patiently. I savored his touch in every layer of my being. It was fully astounding how miraculous it is. I felt foolish for saying that so I take it back. I am not prone to such awe and spirit. It is sex after all. Sex is finding the one who would synchronize with your own desires, physically and mentally. I found it in him and that is enough.

He looked at my chest for a long time. I grinned widely at his concentrated expression. "Enjoying the view, professor?"

"Splendid shape." He simply stated.

"Yes, I know. Staring at it like a piece of painting is not that sexy."

L nodded at that and started fondling my breasts slowly. His fingers were bony and cold. I winced with every massage. He pressed his fingers against my hard nipples and smiled in glee when they soften and harden over and over. His expression was that of childish mental focus and it pleased me. I don't really enjoy men staring at my breasts maniacally as they feel it. George does it all the time and I feel compelled to hide my breasts from him whenever he does. L went on, feeling the weight and the shape as long and as patiently as he could manage.

"Maybe you should try sucking them." I merely suggested.

"You want to breast-feed me, young lady?"

"Some men find it arousing."

"I am not like most men."

"So you would just massage them. Should I pay your for giving a great massage?"

L chuckled again and buried his face on my chest. He kissed them lightly and then he let his tongue traced the bare skin. He placed his hands behind my back and undid my bra. I watched him silently. He kept licking on my breasts like ice cream. He enjoyed devouring it with keen interest. His tongue was wonderful. It was really elevating. I did not suppress a moan as I pulled him closer. He stopped and pulled himself up. He proceeded on trying to take off his pants. It was a difficult job for him. It was as if he was having second thoughts. He was blushing wildly as well. He finally gave up and bit on his thumb, unable to look at me.

"Need help with that?"

"Very much."

I ducked down slowly and pressed my face close to his zipper. He looked at me, wondering what I was doing. I placed my teeth on his button and bit on it, trying to open it while my hands were behind my back. When I have successfully unbuttoned it, I proceeded biting on the zipper and lowering it down. Then I glanced up at him, looking at his expression.

"Impressive," he mused. I brought myself up and leaned closer to pull down his pants. When I have once again accomplished it, I pushed myself off the table and knelt down to take his rubber shoes off. I slowly removed his pants from the floor. He took it and folded it nicely. I decided to tie the laces of his rubber shoes and then placed them on the table besides his pants. I turned to him and slowly raised his shirt up from his head. Then he took it again and folded it, wiping the clothing with his hands to make sure there are no wrinkles. He placed it on top of his pants and then looked at me.

I stared at his naked body. "You are cuddly, L."

He bit on his index finger. "I know I don't have that much package, forgive me."

"Physical looks don't matter." I pulled him close to me.

"You are beautiful, Francesca."

I smiled at that and we started kissing again. I rubbed my palms on every part of him I could touch and squeeze. Then I kissed him on the neck and licked him down to his chest, sucking his nipples enjoyably. He just kept sighing as he fondled my hair. Then he helped me take off my skirt. He folded it for me too as well. He frowned and looked for my blouse that was under the table. He folded it as well. I just waited for him. When he was done, I sat on the table and let him place himself between my legs. With his hips on my thighs and his tongue buried on my mouth, I felt that the world was perfect and flawless.

"I could really get used to this." L remarked as he grabbed my thighs and spread them apart. He kissed me from my mouth down to my chest and then my stomach. He rested his head on my belly for a while as he knelt down before me.

"I am going to be gone in a few more days again."

"Do you intend to be more specific of your whereabouts this time?"

"I want you to come with me." L looked up at me.

I bit on my lower lip, contemplating. "You have to tell me what kind of work you do, L Lawliet."

He sighed and pulled himself up, gazing at me pensively. "Anywhere I am needed for my services."

"You have to tell me now, L."

He thought about it and then replied. "I am a private detective who studies behavioral crimes in a worldly basis. I work for secret intelligence and is allied with many major governments in Europe."

"Is L Lawliet your real name?"

"It is."

"That is risky."

"No one knows my real name but my reputation is far-reaching." He explained. "The fact is even when I have used my real name now, they have no way on proving that it was me since my birth records are sealed completely from public views and investigations. No one even knows how I look like. Besides, you were the one who forced the name out of me and caught me off-guard."

"Me?"

"Yes, you and your flirting. I was completely taken aback and blurted out my name. I had no chance on recovering it when I was hired in your university. I was informed that you study there so changing my name would be too dangerous."

"You think I present a threat to you?"

"I esteem you with high regards." L frowned. "I have personal attachment to you."

I nodded, showing that I follow his logical revelation. I crossed my arms and asked. "Why do you want me to come with you?"

"I want you to work for me."

"Excuse me?"

"I went undercover because the college dean suspects that a Mafia organization is polluting the school." L explained thoroughly. "I disappeared for a month because I was finally closing in with this group. I just caught them two days ago. I am now going to be discharged back to England and I want you and that intelligence of yours to come with me and join the force."

"This is all too much to digest." I shivered in cold. He noticed it and embraced me. "You want to recruit me as an agent? This is something I didn't see coming."

"I know how difficult it must have been." L looked at me very sadly for the first time. "I have lied to you. Though I know that you could be the best candidate for the position. I want you to work with me. In that way, we could still be together and we could solve crimes and work on cases together."

I found that really fascinating. I wanted that too. I want to be around L Lawliet and live with his crime-solving life. Though it would mean that there is an expensive price for that choice.

"L," I said quietly. "If I join you, I could not tell anybody and I have to drop out in the face of the earth and renew my identity, is that correct?"

"Yes."

I let that information register on my common sense. "I am not sure I could do it, L. I have a life here. I have family and friends and Nicoline."

"You have been specific about her." L smiled. "She must mean a lot to you."

I nodded. "I need time to think about this, L. And whatever my decision is, please respect it."

"We may not see each other again." L stated firmly.

I nodded. Then I hugged him, leaning my head on his shoulder. "I want to do something right now."

s  
"Besides sex?"

"Yes, L. I want to cry."

He said nothing and stood completely still as our bodies were wrapped around each other. I let vulnerability flood as big, fat tears run down my cheeks. I was in so much pain not because of rejection. L never had rejected me. I was in pain because it took me a long time to realize I was.

"L," I murmured his name and he held me tightly. "I do want to be with you always and forever. It is corny and stupid but I care about you and everything you do. I don't want to throw away what we have. I am not that kind of girl who is prone to be such a crybaby but I am a girl nonetheless. I have intelligence as well as real feelings, feelings that sometimes scare me off my orbit."

He nodded and wiped my tears with his index finger. I can see in those blank eyes that he understood my weakness and hesitation. It did not bother him. He did not look at me with pity. He understood it simply and I am glad. "We could postpone this coitus if you want."

I sniffed and commented. "Coitus is making babies, L."

L laughed. "You're right. Still it is sexual intercourse."

We helped each other on putting our clothes back on. L allowed me to tie the laces of his rubber shoes. When I was done, I took his hand and interlaced our fingers together. He opened the door and I switched off the lights.

"By the way," he said as we were walking back to the dormitory. "Randy, the janitor, works for me too."

"I knew there was something shady about him."

Before we climbed up the flight of stairs, I remarked. "The Mafia group you caught, L, I want to know what their name is."

"Why does it concern you?"

"I might know them."

"Yes, you do." He looked at me blankly. "It was your cousin's group. Salvador Mendez was too much trouble."

I nodded and then we headed back to my room. As I opened the door and led him inside, I took something from the drawer. His back was turned away from me. When he looked at me at last, he found himself staring at the gun I was pointing at his face. I stared at him with a cold gesture.

He looked at me calmly. "Francesca, I want you to trust me."

"My cousin has nothing to do with the smuggling, L." I held the gun firmly, the cold steel too familiar. "I want you to let him go."

"I invited you to work for me, didn't I?" L asked, amused.

"Yes, you did."

"I know he is innocent, Francesca but we have no evidence to prove that."

"And you want me to find it?"

"He is your family."

I sighed and lowered the gun. I still gripped it steadily.

"You are no ordinary girl, Francesca," L stepped cautiously towards me. "I could use a girl like you in the force."

We stared at each other. I spoke first. "I will work for you and prove my cousin's innocence."

"Then it is settled. We will leave tomorrow morning. I will give you the details of the case as we board the plane."

"L?"

"Yes, young lady?"

"You waited for me to be of the right age for two reasons: Sex and authenticity. You wanted me to become a legal adult so I could work for you."

He smiled.

"Was it all planned, L?" I raised the gun again. "Even from the start, was it all planned?"

"Examine the situation, dear." L explained. "Yes, I plan to take you as my accomplice but I was still wondering how to approach you. You were the one who made the first move. We were attracted to each other, that is the only genuine thing in this. And you have fallen in love with me and I with you."

He grabbed my hand gently to push the gun away from him. "No genius could plan that. It just happened."

I believed him. I am so tired of lies but I can't completely let my guard down. Things just became a game again. I am not losing and he wouldn't want that as well.

"L," I remarked. "It was fun. I have to admit I'm surprised on how you pulled it off since you did not determine that you will be attracted to me."

"It was a problem indeed." He bit his thumb. "The percentage of that is only about three percent and yet it continued to increase when we started being around each other. I was merely testing your skills and then I have to go with the flow of romance. I have to confess that it did feel real and next thing I know, I'm not playing professor boyfriend anymore."

I laughed. We heard the door opened and Nicoline entered. She gazed at us swiftly before she put down the groceries on the table.

"Hello, Nicoline." L greeted her.

"Yeah, hey."

I looked at my friend worriedly as I approached her. I leaned myself against her back and kissed her behind the ear. "L knows about Salvador."

"I see." Nicoline replied as she sorted out the canned goods. "You're not the only one with connection, Cheska. My brother has informed me about your cousin's arrest and I knew that L Lawliet has something to do with it."

She faced me. "I don't trust men."

I smiled at that. "I am going to save Salvador. Can you handle the operation while I'm gone?"

"We did not live together for no ulterior motive and business transaction at all." Nicoline stated. "Our families don't work that way."

"Nicoline Garboux," L spoke, regarding her with a nod. "I trust that you will cooperate with the matter at hand."

"Whatever it takes." Nicoline smiled at us and then said to me. "I will help you pack your things."

L watched us the two of us said our goodbye the next morning. I hugged and kissed her, thanked her and cherished her. She held me firmly by the elbows as we looked at each other for a long time. Then with a final smile, she let me go and waved at me as I headed towards L's direction.

"This better be worth my time." I remarked as an old man helped me with my bags.

L grinned in his catlike fashion. "You will be assured that you're going to kick ass."

**I hope that was satisfactory. I am going to make this story a major one now since I do like the plot and lead character a lot. Stay tuned.**


	10. Lectures with Marmalade Spread

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**I found out what made me so sick. My glasses! You see, my astigmatism is higher now so my glasses don't work for me anymore so whenever I watch TV and work on the computer while using them, my eyes hurt and then my head hurts as well. Then I felt like puking and puked nothing but saliva and bile since I don't eat anymore. Right now I decided to get real sleep, like eight hours and then eat three times a day like any average person should do and voila, after three days, I'm back! **

**Arigatou Gozaimasu to the people I consider now as my friends and I would like to welcome and thank the following:**

**I am able to pique your interest with this humble narrative of mine and I am by far ****thankful**** (like, really, really, really, really, really, really, totally, like, yeah! I said that all the time in all the chapters. You can shoot me now.)**

**Okay, previously on "****Appetite for Enigma****"**

**Girl meets Freak. Girl flirts with Freak. Freak kissed Girl. Freak turned out to be Girl's professor in Social Studies. Girl and Freak played mind games. Girl falls in love with Freak. Freak dates Girl. Girl confesses love to Freak. Freak feels the same but leaves Girl. Girl moved on. Freak returns and turned out to be secret intelligence and recruits Girl as an agent. Then Writer gets sick. Writer abuses self. Writer eats too much junk food. Writer passes out. Writer blabbering to herself now; proceed to the story please**

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**Lectures on How to be an Agent with Marmalade spread**

The flight attendant glided confidently towards us, pushing a cart of food. Since we were the only passengers on this plane, her attention is mainly focused on us. When she passed by with her bright teeth and twinkling eyes, the expression drained into a perfect mask of horror when she found us in the most humiliating position of our lives. L was sitting casually and eyeing her with a composed face. I, on the other hand, ended up under the table laid before him and yes, to form the concrete comical position, my face was specifically on his lap. There are million ways to interpret this but the brain functions in quick successions and the idea and logical explanation it could think of as what the pretty flight attendant could think of, is oral gratification. This complete stranger has the right to allegedly accuse me of giving my lover/boss/college professor a blowjob. She has the nerve to judge me! The bitch! I tried to stand up and ended up hitting my head on the table.

To set the record straight, I was not sucking L's penis. I apologize for being graphic and straightforward but y'all need to know the truth. There is an explanation for this. I slipped and fell. Yes, a pathetic excuse but it is not though. It is something more believable if you allowed me to expound so here it goes: After saying goodbye to my dearest friend and roommate Nicoline Garboux, L introduced me to the old man carrying my bags named Quillish Wammy. And then we went to our seats. We had a short conversation as L was devouring on his usual diabetic meal. While spreading marmalade on his bread, he accidentally dropped it and it rolled from the table to his crotch and I volunteered to pick it up from under the table. Do you see where this is going? After taking the bread, I noticed that the marmalade stained his jeans so I asked for a tissue so I could wipe it off. L handed it to me and then as I was rubbing it, I heard wheels approaching. I could see a pair of gorgeous legs with stockings. I realized right then what situation the three of us are in. To the flight attendant, she was a witness to a crime and we are the suspects. It was a confusing state of matters and I really need to clarify it right now before any more damages will rise.

To my dismay and protest, L pulled me down by the head. I ended up lying flat face on his crotch. This is neither romantic nor arousing. Someone is going to get punched if he would not let me go.

"Yes?" L asked in his most innocent tone.

"I brought your caffeine, sir."

"Please put them down on the table, Cadie."

"Right away, sir."

I heard the sound of mugs above me. I did not say a word until I watched the flight attendant leave with the cart. Then I crawled away from L and sat down on the floor, eyeing him angrily. L did not look at me and placed sugar cubes on his coffee instead. After the twelfth cube, he finally met my glare.

"What the hell was that?" I asked him, clenching my teeth.

"She had the wrong impression but I do not wish to correct it."

"You're a snorting pig, taking advantage of me like that."

L sipped his coffee and frowned. "You seem to lose sexual interest on me."

I rolled my eyes. "It was just three hours ago since we almost had sex, L so why would you presume that I lost interest in engaging with you?"

"You were repulsed with what I just did."

"Making that flight attendant of yours to think I am a slut?"

"Young lady, you were the one who went down there and rubbed my crotch enthusiastically so I assumed you have something else in mind."

"Well, I don't want to get your hopes down but you are mistaken," I held my chin up. "I was simply trying to wipe off the stain. Put an ice on it, L. I am in no mood to be horny right now."

"I also do not have the impulse as well."

"Then why the hell did you do that for?"

L bit his thumb and smiled. "I was merely curious."

"Curious to see if I will beat you senseless after such ungentlemanly act?"

"I do not doubt you are capable of violence."

"Then I order you to stop messing around."

"I was merely curious of how Cadie will respond to the situation." L went on. "I hired her three months ago and she knew that I am a very private man. She also formed an idea that I am homosexual."

"So you want to prove your manhood by--"

"You are mistaken of my motives, Francesca." L waved a finger in the air, shaking his head. "Cadie had responded to my expectation. She was clearly convinced that I am not gay and that your purpose here is to give me the utmost pleasure enjoyable. She is there inside the cabin now, laughing and daydreaming to herself. I notice the slight smirk on her face when she left."

"So she really thought I'm a slut?"

"In addition to that, she felt the need to try and seduce me afterwards just to see if I am straight."

"How do you say that?"

"I move my lips, I push air, I form words with my tongue."

I gave him a stern look.

"Excuse yourself." L patted me by the head. "Hide behind the seats and watch as my theory is proven right."

I did what he asked without complaining. After five minutes, Cadie appeared again, this time she was now back to her happy mode. She glided like a model and stopped with a smile. "Sir, is everything satisfactory?"

"It is."

"Where is the girl you were with just a moment ago, sir?"

"She went to the bathroom."

"I see," Cadie upped the smile a little more. "Sir?"

"Yes, Cadie?"

"I would like to take this opportunity to thank you." Cadie spoke with a sultry manner. She touched L on his arm and smiled even more. I knew L must have smiled back. Cadie's seduction was visible from here.

"You are very welcome, Cadie." L answered. He touched her hand in his arm. "You have earned it very well, dear."

I knew what is going to happen next so I immediately stood up from where I was hiding and started screaming on the top of my lungs. Both L and Cadie looked at me worriedly. L then grinned. Cadie rushed towards me.

"What happened, ma'am? Are you okay?"

I collapsed on the floor and Cadie held me. I was all flustered as I whimpered. She asked me what's wrong and then I looked at her and whispered. "I broke a nail."

L started laughing. I laughed back and pulled myself up. Cadie just stood there until it all made sense to her. She turned red and hurried back to her cabin.

"You made it too easy." L teased as I walked back to him and pulled him into an embrace. "I thought I was gonna get kissed again by another girl besides you."

"The only saliva that could be mixed with yours would be mine." I remarked.

"Two theories are proven. The other one is that you are the jealous type."

I giggled and kissed him on the cheek. "You brought this on yourself. You should have never asked me to be part of your life."

"Did I sound like I was complaining?" L mocked confusion. "Young lady, lines will be crossed now that you have joined me in my expedition."

Quillish's voice resonated on the place. "We are ten minutes close to the destination."

We went back to our seats and started talking. I started the conversation with the question. "What are the chances that my cousin will be released?"

"Chances are all up to your work." L responded as he licked the spoon with marmalade. "You could investigate as long as you want but keep in mind that there would be time pressure. When we arrive to the headquarters, I will give you a team and you will work on them in solving this case."

"Aren't you coming?"

"I will be guiding you." L replied. "I could not show myself or I will increase the possibility of captivity. I must work anonymously as possible. I will give you two agents for your disposal. Would that be enough?"

"I guess."

"I will be employing female agents. It would be like Charlie's Angels."

"You're killing me here. Stop being funny."

"The ones I have chosen would be perfect and you will get along with them."

"L?"

"Yes, dear?"

"While this mission is progressing, when am I going to be able to spend time with you?"

L frowned and sipped his coffee once more. "Probably not always. The percentage of having personal time is nineteen percent out of hundred."

"We should totally make out now."

"We are almost there," L smiled reassuringly. "We will be staying in a hotel so you could get some rest. The assignment can wait. I can always reschedule since the plan has not been set."

"You just want to have sex with me."

"And you don't? Now stop whining."

When the plane landed safely on the base, Quillish once again helped me with my bags. L walked ahead, meeting with some men in dark suits. Then he waved at me to follow him. I kept up with his pace until we reached a building. I looked around and observed the place. It was some sort of a claustrophobic area without windows or doors. The walls are all white and clean. L pressed a button somewhere and a doorway appeared before us. I stifled a _whoa, cool _so not to appear like a fool and followed him inside.

L removed his rubber shoes and Quillish took them. He stepped into some kind of a platform and took my hand to help me up. When we were both on the platform with Quillish, it moved up like an elevator. I really want to do a _whoa, cool_ now.

We reached a particular floor and I was reminded of some futuristic science fiction environment while we walked along a long tunnel that looks like a plastic tube. Everything was all white, whiter than a hospital.

Then L pressed a button again and this time we entered a normal place. It was a hotel. I looked back on the entrance behind me and it was gone. It was just a beige colored wall that was there. I was about to ask L if I was in a Twilight Zone episode when I found him already asking for a key to a room. When he got it, he waved again at me and I followed him to a normal elevator.

Quillish opened the door to us and I found myself standing in a spacious and polished room. I rushed to the window and looked at the skyscrapers outside. Quillish put down my bags in the corner and bowed before he left.

"I am speechless, L." I turned to look at him.

L was inches away from me. He put his arms around me and whispered against my lips. "Then don't speak anymore."

We kissed feverously. He pushed me gently to the bed. He pinned my wrists on either side and proceeded kissing me down my neckline. Then he lifted up the hem of blouse with his teeth to expose my belly. He teased my navel with his tongue. I released myself from his clutch and started unbuttoning my blouse. He lifted himself up and removed his shirt, throwing it carelessly on the floor. It was obvious that this is urgent since he did not fold his clothes anymore. We did not waste any more time and started peeling off whatever we wore. I threw away my skirt and he did the same with his jeans. And then he placed himself between my legs, getting ready. When we were lost in the moment, I felt something strange. Then I heard a voice.

"She is lovely, L. I'm surprised you have such a decent taste."

--**TO BE CONTINUED--**

**I'M SCREWING WITH YOU…GO ON!**

L chuckled and let go of me. I opened my eyes and saw an attractive raven-haired girl with a pair of gentle dark eyes behind L. She wore a dark suit just like the two men before. I stared at her without saying a word.

"I should have known you are here." L pulled himself up from me and faced her.

The girl raised an eyebrow, staring at L from head to foot. She looked at him like somebody she had known for a long time. "You still have the same body of a twelve-year old boy, L. You got taller, that's all, but other than that, you're the same Wammy boy."

She hugged him and then smiled at me. "You must be Francesca."

I sat up and smiled back. L did the formal introduction. "This is Special Agent Naomi Misora from the FBI, American Intelligence. She will be working with you."

She took my extended hand and shook it amiably. Then she handed me a brown paper bag. I spread the contents on the bed. It was a badge of some sort. There were IDs, credit cards and passports. I looked at the ID and realized that it has a photo of me. I opened the passports and inspected the credit cards.

"Luisa Luprecci?" I asked the both of them. "That's my new identity?"

"I chose that name!" L raised a proud hand. "We have the same initials. I think it's romantic."

"Where did you even get a picture of me?" I asked again. "Something tells me you have been observing me for quite some time now."

"It was all planned, Francesca," Naomi explained. "We knew your cousin's alleged involvement with the drugs smuggled from Morocco. Before that incident got serious, we had been watching you. We knew that you have good skills and a name to be proud of. Your family has a reputation and we want you in the agency. We were the ones who were monitoring you and we just called L to facilitate and evaluate you if you are worthy."

"And one incident led to another and we got passionate about each other," L continued. "That was not planned. Since we could no longer avoid that matter, I decided to allow it after some soul-searching."

"This is all too much for me." I just muttered as I stared at the effects in front of me.

"More reason why you should take a rest." Naomi was picking up L's clothes and then she shoved it to him slightly. "And no sex for now."

We both groaned in disappointment and whined, "We're not even close to doing the deed yet!" But Naomi was strict about it. L dressed up and smiled at me. "You need some time for yourself, Francesca."

I nodded weakly and collapsed on the bed. Naomi took the brown paper bag with the contents and said that we will talk about this in the morning. Before they left, I asked. "Where exactly are we?"

"You're in London. Enjoy your stay, Luisa." Naomi answered and then she closed the door and left with L.

I sighed pensively. I rolled around the bed, pondering and thinking wildly. I did not ask for this. I surely did not anticipate that I would be part of a national crisis. I am going to kill Salvador if I ever found out that he really had something to do with the drugs. His father and my late uncle Pablicito would be pissed.

My mother died when I was six. Father married Ofelia three years after. Then he died as well and I was left with Ofelia for the next years. She has five sons, two are my real brothers and the three were from her first marriage. I grew up with so many male companions with different personalities and quirks that I learned to become observant of all behaviors around me. I was also taught how to fight in combat and several other training for self-defense. I was still an average girl. The only distinct feature of my life is that I am a daughter of a rich Italian business in three countries. One of them is France and the Garboux family is next door neighbors. I got along pretty well with Nicoline and as we went to school, we tried to be normal as possible. Sooner we got better in hiding our family legacies and lived peacefully until we got to the same college and became roommates.

I yawned when the night was deepening. I was more than exhausted and tired. Everything happens for a reason but I couldn't help but wonder otherwise. I was a candidate for espionage and L just happened to be a world-famous detective who was profiling me that night in the bar. I wondered of what different terms would have happened. What if I wasn't attracted to him in the first place and did not approach him? What if he approached me first and I blew him off and he ended up stalking me? And after evaluating me, what will be his choice? And if we did meet in the university and I did not approve him then will I even let him get close to me? I just couldn't help but wonder how things would work out if I did not approach him and stir a conversation.

My mind drifted off with our meeting in the bar. I remember flirting and I remember him kissing me in the dark. Then I remember the way he could make me smile and think. I remember the mental satisfaction he provided everyday in Social Studies class. I remember him looking at me in the eye when he said we only truly love someone in our entire life span. I smiled when I also remember the way he licked his spoon and how much I enjoyed it. I stopped thinking about different terms. All I know is I now believe in love at first sight. I believe in everything he revealed and showed me the night we were under Nicoline's bed. Things could not happen otherwise. This happened for a reason. I only found solace knowing that the terrible fantasy is real and I acknowledged the possibilities of what we had gained when we crossed the line and took the chance.

I think that it is all that matters now, tomorrow and until the end.

**There is not too much action here but I hope you still like it!**

**A little trivia: L and Francesca has a theme song: "Contagious" by Avril Lavigne. Just want to share. You can download and listen to it if you are curious. Thanks once again for every little thing! **


	11. Lectures with Mocha kreme doughnuts

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**I hate my life and I wish it would go away. I am prone to self-mutilation, which I took with greatest liberty. Right now I am undergoing therapy and writing is the cure. You see I have been diagnosed with borderline personality and I don't want that to bring out the worst in me so I am trying my best to fight it by surrounding myself with people who will love and affirm me. I found my distaste in reality helpful since it benefits my writing performance. I hate reality so much I create worlds of my own. I feel sorry for my family for the heavy burdens my autistic brother and I, the sociopath, brought them. I think we are still loveable though. Arigatou Gozaimasu again to all of you since you affirmed my ego and my soul with your affectionate reviews. I will credit all you by the end of this fic which would take a while since I have came to the decision of making this very, very long. I know it would please you because you have all pointed out that you like the plot. **

**A little note: I won't write it next to the original Death Note plot since I do not want L to die, goddammit! I will, however, include the original cast of the said series. Light Yagami would not be Kira here. The Death Note would not exist here. I plan to still cultivate their original personalities as portrayed by the author of Death Note and be assured that I will do my best to make it as entertaining as possible. Misa Amane, Matsuda, Near, Mello, Aizawa etc will all appear. In addition to that, I will throw in many OCs to make the plot effective. **

**Watch the Cooper Magic unfold before your eyes.**

**Now enough with inflating my ego and hinting spoilers and let us proceed.**

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**Lectures on Espionage 101 with Mocha kreme doughnuts **

I was awoken by gunshots. The noise cut through the oblivious slumber of my heavy mind. My instant reaction was rolling to the other side as I shove the pillow to my face, trying to drown the noise. I was not new to that sound. I wake up each morning to hear those gunshots as my brothers' way of greeting me. The five of them would practice their handguns every crack of dawn outside the backyard of our house. I was becoming accustomed and grumpy about it so when I heard that particular sound, I thought I was home again. Then after minutes I realized where I was. That's when I bolted up from my bed and wondered what the fuzz is about.

"L?" I called out, rubbing my eyes as I walked to the door, leaning myself against it. "Naomi? Quillish?"

There was only absolute silence. I was starting to worry. I decided to go find it out myself. As I twisted the doorknob, I heard another loud explosion that roared and temporarily deafened my ears. I covered myself as I rushed outside. The smoke and dust was mixed in the air and I tried not to suffocate. I started knocking on doors until I reached the point of origin. I coughed and felt my eyes were irritated and watering from all the carbon monoxide. I instantly tripped when I reached an elderly couple. I looked up at them and I saw that the husband of the old woman was bleeding on his right leg. I ripped off a portion of my nightgown and wrapped it around his wound then I instructed the old woman to stay here while I call for help. I started running around, finding more injured people on the way. Audible cries were distinct and piercing as I cast myself closer to the elevator, pressing the buttons. I coughed again and tried my best not to inhale any smoke. I tried to relax and clear my head. This is a hotel in London. The bomb has a primary target around this specific floor. Could it be our group? If so, then who the hell am I dealing with? I tried to think of more circumstances to avoid danger when the elevator opened. With a quick flash, I saw the Uzi gun and immediately shouted at those around and ducked for cover. A series of bullets were fired, drilling holes and causing a mass hysteria. I crawled away to a corner and tried to see the face of the attacker. He was masked to my dismay. I contemplated on my options. I have to get somewhere safe.

Then I remember that Naomi Misora left me a cell phone in case of emergency. This is one hell of an emergency. I brought myself up and run back to the room. I looked behind me and suddenly saw the man with the Uzi gun trailing behind. When he raised his weapon, I went down and crawled instead. Then I kicked open a door in the corner and grabbed a lampshade. When he entered the room, I threw it at him as hard as I could and pushed him away to enable myself to get out. I reached my room with my heart pumping blood so fast as though it would explode. I looked for the cellphone as I hid under the bed. I took deep breaths as I speed dialed.

"Agent Luprecci, backup is on the way." I heard her voice and I relaxed once more. "Where are you?"

"In my room, under the bed." I answered hoarsely. "I'm the primary target, aren't I?"

"Stay where you are, Luisa."

I sighed and asked. "Permission to engage, ma'am."

"No, Luisa--" I hung up before she could disagree. I pry myself off the floor and saw that the man was already there. Before he could pull the trigger, I gave him a square kick in the solar plexus. He coiled and then I kicked his gun away from his hand. He grabbed me by the leg and threw me across the wall. I bumped into a mirror and I heard the pieces shatter loudly. I lay there on the glass, bruised and bleeding. I reached out for the gun just in time before he could and pulled the trigger. This is a call for survival not for conscience. I have been trained to think rationally in time of danger and possible death. There really is one option: kill the son of a bitch before he kills you. So I pulled the trigger without qualms and shot him close range in the face. Brain matter attached itself on me. I choke out blood and started coughing violently. Then I felt something throbbing in pain and so I looked at my stomach and realized that a sharp piece of glass has punctured itself there. I pulled it out and groaned in pain. I diverted the physical agony by reaching out to the corpse of my attacker. I unmasked him but there is no use for facial recognition. I blew his whole face completely. I allowed myself a smirk and then reached out to his pocket trousers for anything that would identify him. Seeing that there is nothing important in his belongings, I decided to take a broken glass and pressed it on his fingers for prints. Then I wrapped the specimen on a towel I got from the toilet.

My cellphone rang. I answered it. It was L. Hearing his voice offered me sheer security. "Francesca, are you hurt?"

"Nothing that can't be healed." I assured him. "I killed him."

"Did you find anything useful?"

"Nada." I coughed again. "I did have fingerprints."

"Very good," he paused then said. "Bring me his weapon as well. The backup will be there any minute now. Stay where you are."

"Okay."

"And Francesca?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you ever do that again." L's voice was grave and stern. "You're not in proper shape and you don't know what you are dealing with. You just got lucky this time around. Luck runs out, young lady."

"I understand." I responded. "I'll be careful next time."

I heard sirens approaching. I hung up and waited. I closed my eyes and felt the feeling sinking. I knew that I was losing more blood. I tried to stay awake, clutching the gun and broken glass wrapped around the towel. Then I felt somebody touching me in the forehead. I opened my eyes and blinked. I recognized Quillish's face and felt his arms carrying me up and then I finally lost consciousness.

**--oOoOoOoOoOoOo--**

_Right across the British Port at exactly 22:34_

"How long has she been in this state?"

"Twelve hours."

"Is that normal, doctor?"

"It certainly is. Her injury is not that shallow. In addition to that, she has just arrived in a foreign country, exhausted and confused. She definitely needs time to cope up."

"Keep her under moderate observation."

"Right away---sir, she is waking up."

I looked at the two faces above me. Everything that registered was vague but the female doctor was right. It has been a long time since I have a real combat and the fatigue that followed afterwards is understandable. I managed to mutter in a croak voice, "L?"

He took my hand and squeezed it. He looked weary than usual. The dark circles in his eyes are deeper now. "Are you thirsty?"

I blinked and nodded. The female doctor helped me up as L pressed the glass of water in my lips. I gulped all of it then tried to clear my thoughts. L looked at me without saying a word. I buried my face on my hands and tried to keep the whole world steady. I felt like everything is spinning and it's making me nauseous.

"You need to take some medicine to ease the migraine." The female doctor remarked. She put a pill on my palm and I eagerly gulped on it as well.

"I will leave the two of you alone." She opened the door and left.

"Francesca?"

I looked at L and smiled faintly. "It's just an injury, L. I was clumsy. I can recover fast, don't worry. I am quite resilient."

"I shouldn't have let you stay in that hotel alone." L apologized. "I was also clumsy. Either that or our adversary is getting one step ahead of us. We need to take precautions now. I need to tell you the details of this case."

I tried to look attentive. "I'm a big girl. I can take it."

"Your cousin is only a fragment of the whole fortress of deception that caved itself straight to the core of international affairs." L began explaining. "I shall start from the very beginning. Six years ago, after 9-11, the threat of terrorism is sucking the resources like a terrible, infectious leech. World leaders are bothered greatly of the following events since that date. I was summoned more than twice during the course two years ago and had been doing a series of investigations in Asia Minor and some Islamic countries in the Pacific."

"It was February 16 last year that I found a single piece of conundrum. I was on my way from Belgium to Sweden when I made a short stop in Denmark. I visited an old traveler that is knowledgeable of historical facts. We had a conversation concerning the Trilateral Commission, Opus Dei and Freemasons. Are you aware of these secret societies?"

"There has been speculation about them." I answered. "My own wisdom is limited though. Please expound."

"It really is nothing of importance but the old man believed that another secret society is rising, using the mentioned organizations as blueprint for its own plan for global warfare. It is only a presumption and he truthfully remarked that he does not have enough evidence that could support the existence of this rising secret society. He showed me one particular object that might consider the possibility."

L took something from his pocket. It was a small wooden box. He handed it to me and asked me too look inside. I slowly lift the lid and found a round flat stone that is carved with some sort of ancient writing. I stared at it without saying a word.

"The old man found it in Madagascar."

"Africa?"

"He found at least three of them, scattered in different countries." L added further. "This friend of mine is a certified anthropologist. He goes around the world to find fossils and other sort of things. His found his first stone in East Indies. The other one is in Kondakova, Russia. Then the final stone is discovered Madagascar, Africa, the one that I possess now. All three stones are identical and the locations where they are spotted are just puzzling and I agreed with his point of view. He asked me to help him and so he gave me that stone."

"What is the connection of this one in this secret society you are imposing?"

"At first, it has no bearing on my investigation. An old friend simply asked a favor. I went on building my case until November 23 of last year when I have sabotaged a major exchange of slaves and drug trade in Sri Lanka headed by corrupt officials. The merchandises were shipped to Morocco and Bolivia. I had the opportunity to arrive in Morocco and stop the operation fully. We confiscated and brutally interrogated the participants with the help of German Intelligence."

L bit his thumb. "If you check your history, the English and the Germans do not get along well. But since I am a man of eccentric methods, I have been considerate to ask for a special agent's assistance on that mission. She is going to work alongside you and Naomi Misora."

"What happened afterwards, L? How did the Mendez business got involve in this?"

He eyed me languidly. "If I am correct, there is an alliance between Italy and Germany back in the World War."

"So does Japan, L. Everyone knows about the axis alliance."

"Yes," L nodded. "The Mendez business specializes in profitable exchange of prized ancient sculptures and handicraft from all over the globe, does it not?"

"That is correct."

"Italians are interesting friends and extreme foes." L remarked with a hint of smile. "Your cousin Salvador is notoriously known for his vulgar streak and is not contented with the money you get from the business commerce. So he was once allegedly accused of swindling and treason."

"Nothing has proven those accusations."

"Indeed."

"So what is so strong that holds my cousin by the throat? Did he really involve himself in terrorism? Italian family heritage is filled with honor, L. We are not known for being fickle-minded. We are stable and hard-working people. We are not greedy bastards. So why is my cousin a suspect to this case?"

"Let us examine the scenarios now." L stood up and paced around the room. "The first case is terrorism. Then there was the speculated secret society and the mysterious stones. Then the illegal slavery and drug smuggling and now your cousin's crime."

"Salvador is considered a black sheep but..." I trailed off, absorbing all the information as accurate as I could.

"After my successful mission in Morocco, we are currently holding many businesses in Bolivia under observation in case of any suspicious activities. Now I went on helping my friend with his findings and there in Sweden I stumbled upon another stone. I haven't told him about it yet. I was about to this year back in January but I had no time to since I am called by the President of the United States to investigate in their country about some exported drugs. I followed the scent to your university in Virginia. The rest is history."

He stopped pacing then he was in silence for a long time. I patiently waited. I tried to look at the scenarios in all possible angles.

"I called my old friend a month ago after catching your cousin's group."

I waited. L faced me, eyes downcast while biting his thumb. "He was murdered in Saudi Arabia. It looks like assassination according to modern Forensics."

"I don't understand. How does all of these connect?"

"As for the moment, I have no bloody clue." L answered. "But I have lost a dear friend and had no time to grieve for him. I shall now call Naomi and the German agent I spoke about right now."

I watched him pressed a button. Then we went in silence, waiting for them to arrive. The door slid open and Naomi entered casually. I looked at the woman beside her. She grinned at me.

"This is Special Agent Luisa Luprecci of my own taskforce," L introduced me, addressing the unknown visitor. "Agent Luprecci, this is Leixa Kroiger."

I nodded my head and stared at her. She had a sharp facial profile and a pointy nose. Her freckles were scattered on her nose and cheeks. Her hair is rich white blonde with a length that reached her shoulders and was bobbed. She is an attractive woman and her pale gray eyes glittered as she spoke to me.

"Pleased to meet you, Luisa." Her accent is amusing and firm.

"I shall now be dividing your assignments." L took a seat with his feet up and face drawn into a brooding look of mental concentration. "Naomi Misora will be sent to Saudi Arabia to investigate my late friend Leonard Telesco's death. Leixa Kroiger will resume her investigations in Bolivia and Morocco. And Luisa."

He turned to me sharply. "I want to send you back to your homeland and get to know what happened to your business recently and the exact whereabouts of your cousin and other family relatives. I need you to gather information about every little detail of life there."

I sighed and then asked. "Would I be doing it alone?"

"It's important that nobody in your family knows so you need to deceive them." L explained. "I believe in your strong family values but I need you to put that aside to pursue this mission."

"I understand clearly, L."

"You will be accompanied by one of my most trusted men in the taskforce." L smiled slightly and then he said. "You may come in."

A pair of feet scrunched the surface of the floor. I looked at the person before us. He was only a young boy, short and very pale. He has curly silver locks and he was twisting a strand of it with his index finger. He was carrying a toy robot on his other hand. He looked at me blankly and the temperature suddenly got cold.

"This is my apprentice, N." L introduced him proudly. "You would bring him to Italy as your boyfriend's brother. Your story would be this: your boyfriend's name is Russell Jones. He is a pilot. You met him during a formal party somewhere. You have been together for a year now. His mother got terribly sick and asked you to take care of his brother, Rene and so you decided to bring him with you. You can add more details to make your story believable."

"You think I could pull this off?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the boy. N did the same with me.

"Of course," L grinned. "You are an exceptional actress and con artist."

"That makes me feel good." I answered wearily, finally tearing my eyes off the curious boy. "How old is N anyway?"

"He is twelve."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. You have to expect the most compelling people around here. Nothing could surprise me anymore. The boy seemed to possess a strong streak of intelligence in him. I could see it in his eyes. You do not want to mess with this kid.

"Nice to meet cha." N said quietly.

"We will leave the two of you to discuss your plans." L said. "N will tell you the rest. Your flight will be three days from now. You have to work along and get to know each other and I shall give you both that."

Naomi gave a tight smile and Leixa upped her own smile a little more before they both turned to follow L. I was left alone with the weird kid.

I kept my eyes on him, smiling amiably. "So?"

He kept twisting the strand of silver hair. "Do you like cards?"

I raised an eyebrow. "That depends on what you are implying, N."

"Please address me as Near, Agent Luprecci."

"Near it is." I sat by the edge of the bed and tapped my side to indicate that I want him to sit beside me. He looked at me, blinked and then sat where I want him to sit. He looked straight ahead. I waited patiently.

Near produced a pack of cards from his pocket. He handed me the toy robot and I took it. Near started shuffling the cards, saying. "I was the one who interrogated Salvador Mendez. He is a tough nut to crack but after twenty minutes of messing with his mind, I got him to confess about the benefactor of the drugs."

"He has nothing to do with this." I answered honestly. "Salvador is obscene but he is not that stupid."

Near stopped shuffling the cards. "I'm not sure I could trust you."

"I feel the same with you."

"Let's play a game of trust." Near suggested, looking up at me slightly. He pulled a table in front of us and spread the cards, showing the back of the cards. "The instructions are easy. I will ask you questions depending on a card you will pull. Spade would mean anything to do with your social life. Heart would mean your enemies. Diamond would mean you could ask me any question. Clover would mean any personal question and finally aces. It would mean you should confess one mistake in your life, regardless the weight of the said sin."

"You're a cute kid."

Near ignored the last statement and waited for me to pull out a card. I sighed and took one card and showed it to him. "Diamond."

"Go ask me anything, Luisa."

"How did you become L's apprentice?"

"I am from the Wammy House." Near explained slowly. "It's owned by Quillish Wammy. You have met him, haven't you? It's an orphanage for highly intellectual children that could succeed L. I was qualified as the first one."

I nodded and pulled out another card. "Spade."

Near twisted a strand of silver hair again and eyed me. "What sort of friends do you associate yourself with?"

I thought for a while. "The only real friends I have are the sons or daughters of families my own family have business with. The rest are from my university but I really don't consider them as real friends. You don't hide so many things from real friends."

I pulled another card out. Near glanced at it and smiled a little. "Clover. Do you really think L loves you?"

I smiled back. "Without question."

"That certainly is the kind of trust that you shouldn't afford around here."

I raised a card to his face. "Diamond."

Near smiled genuinely. It was a cold, penetrating smile. He has a youth that is innocent and serene though his lifeless eyes intensify sardonically with that cold smile. He was messing with my mind. He wants me to lose this game. I could not underestimate a conniving kid like this. I have to be careful. I asked him, "How do you see L in your life, Near?"

He sighed at that and kept twisting his hair. "He is the man I admire and respect. I want to succeed him. Pull out another card, please."

I did what he asked. He looked at it. "Heart."

I chuckled. "I hate a certain girl named Melanie Richards although I think I will never have to see her again."

"Must be a bitch, huh?" Near blinked. He is a child so why do I feel like I really need to take care of myself from him? He possesses an intimidating gait. I wondered about that as I took out another card. "It's a Spade, Near."

"What is your relationship with Nicoline Garboux?"

"My best friend since childhood." I took another card. "Diamond. Do you have a lot of friends in Wammy House?"

Near looked down. "Not really."

I frowned. "You must be friends with L as well, right?"

"One question at a time. Take out another card, please."

I chuckled again and raised a card. "An ace card."

Near looked at my face and smiled his cold smile again. I wondered if that smile was intentional or that's just the way he smiles. I answered him. "I had sex with one of the sons of a family in Columbia we are trying to buy off. I was only fifteen. My family was counting on me."

Near nodded and watched me pull out a card from the deck. "It's a diamond, my turn. How do you look at yourself?"

I expected him to stutter or to blush a little. I expected him to hesitate but he eyed me with the same smile and said. "A winner."

I said nothing and took out another card, suddenly wishing this would end. "Clover card, Near."

"Do you hate your stepmother Ofelia?"

I was not surprised of how he found out about that. I sighed and replied. "It depends on your context. I have a certain amount of bitter feelings for her but not necessarily hatred. We don't get along that well but it's nothing serious. I just don't like her including herself in my life because I don't want her to have anything to do with it."

Near seemed pleased with that although his face is a perfect mask of being devoid of all emotion. I wonder if he is that of a genius that there is no place for emotion inside him. Maybe this is just a façade but I sense that his quiet nature possesses a big amount of egotism, the kind that an ordinary boy should not acquire yet. L really chooses well. Near is a boy with ambition, intellect and pride. If you think Chuckie of Child's Play is creepy, then meet Near. It's enough to make your blood cold.

"Hand me my robot, Luisa." I did what he asked me to do. He fingered at it and said. "There's food in the corner."

I glanced to my left and saw a box. I reached out to it and opened it, smiling. "Do you like doughnuts, Near?"

Near said nothing. He continued staring at the robot. I grabbed a mocha kreme doughnut and devoured on it happily. I watched Near took the cards I picked out. He handed them to me and I took it. He said. "Keep them. We will resume this game some other time. I need to discuss to you your cousin's case."

I nodded then he added with another smile. "I had fun."

He didn't smile the creepy smile anymore and I found myself grinning. "You should taste the doughnuts."

"I don't like sweet stuff."

"L does."

Near nodded gravely. "We're not always the same."

"I didn't think that," I laughed loud. "The L I know is very different from you, Near. Although I am not sure I know you that much."

"You will have that chance when we work together undercover." Near remarked. "Salvador Mendez, your cousin, is guilty of drug smuggling."

I said nothing. I listened carefully to his explanations. "He knew the operation and participated in it. He provided the correct information about the distributor. The one thing he is not guilty of are the series of murders during the operation."

"Murders?"

Near shuffled the cards again. He was graceful and quick. I was almost hypnotized by the movement of his hands. He kept saying. "I was investigating about the murders now. They have a certain pattern. The signature that the murders have all in common is this one."

He placed down the cards and pulled out something from his pocket. I stared at the round flat stone and could not hide my confusion. "Another stone?"

"The one L has found." Near explained. "He gave it to me when I contacted him about the murders."

"And?"

"Do you want to see the pictures of the corpses?"

"Why not."

"They have graphical content, please bear with it." Near did not move from where he is. He pressed something in his robot and the bed moved. I was a little surprise so I clutched at his sleeve. Then he pressed another button and a monitor appeared from above. I heard a clicking sound and the monitor went on. The first thing I saw was as horrible as it could get. I squinted my eyes and eyed every detail. I tried not to wince but I still held Near tightly by the sleeve.

"If you look closely at the victim's throat, you could see that he was strangled by some kind of wire." Near explained. "We found rust particles in the skin. In addition to that is this."

Another clicking sound and this time I was showed the whole body photo. The corpse is mutilated in an exact eccentric taste of choice. Many murder weapons were used on this one. I managed to bite a piece of the doughnut despite it. I made a face and heard him speak. "This is an ordinary photo, nothing special but when we X-rayed the body, this is what we found."

Another clicking sound and a different picture appeared. I leaned myself closer, unable to believe what I am seeing. The body was glowing blue with markings of the same ancient writing in the stones. I was staring at it, trying to follow the pattern. I pointed to the forehead. "It started right there. The markings seem to be circular. You can notice it curving around the torso. Somebody went through a lot great trouble trying to do this."

"Correct," Near agreed. "The ink used is the invisible type and could only be seen under a radiation. The pattern ends here in the right toe."

He pressed a button and the monitor did a close-up on the toe. I tried to stifle a gasp when I saw what was written. It was a single letter. I found it terribly familiar. My stomach lurched unpleasantly.

"What does this mean, Near?"

Near looked at me when I gripped his sleeve even tighter. "L is not safe, Luisa. Whatever this means, they are aware of him and this message would indicate they have some plans for him. That is why they have written his name on the victim's toe. The other three victims also had the same letter in them, right toe as always."

I tried to breathe as I closed my eyes. Near rested a hand on my knee and said. "L risks his life all the time. He did see that it is a threat to his safety but he is willing to still take a leap forward in order to seal this case. He gave me this mission and now I ask for your help, Agent Luprecci."

I nodded. I kept gripping his sleeve.

"There is one thing that I want you do too," Near placed his hand on where I was gripping him with steady fingers. "You need to choose logic above your emotion as we go through this. You need to keep a clear head as we go to Italy to investigate your family and gather more information about these murders. You need to choose reason above anything else. Can you do that?"

I opened my eyes and realize that I was crying a little. I wiped the tears away quickly. My stomach was still hurting. Near waited for an answer.

"I want to protect him." I said vaguely. "I want to be with him always."

Near saw the torment in my expression and tried to understand it himself. He was as cold and calculating but he is also a child and he could allow himself sympathy when he wishes to. "I need you to choose, Luisa."

"I know what must be done." I answered firmly. "Be assured that I will do my job."

Near nodded, keeping his eyes on my expression. Then I loosen my grip on his sleeve and smiled. I touched his cheek and he gave me a perplex look.

"I need you to make a promise, Near."

Near waited. I said. "I need you to promise me that I could trust you."

"I promise," Near seemed uncomfortable with the unexpected touch of my palm on his pale cheek. I smiled and was surprised when I hugged him. He stiffened but said nothing. He did not push me away. I also did not have the energy to pull away. I heard Near reach for something. I looked at him, my arms still wrapped around him. He was eating a doughnut slowly. I thought about his earlier expression when I touched him. Whatever sort of intelligence this kid has, it didn't make him emotionless. Something else did. I wondered if I do want to know more about him. He said he grew up in an orphanage. It is actually an X-men academy type (that's how I associated a bunch of kids with special abilities) but nonetheless, an orphanage. I started to ponder about his parents and why they gave him up for adoption. Is Near that creepy or is it something more horrible than that? I have seen the casual way he viewed those photos. He might have experienced death firsthand before anybody could explain it to him. Whatever the reason is, I concluded that the boy is made up of ugly things.

"It's good, isn't it?"

Near nodded, eyes downcast and hardly confident to look at me again. I chuckled and patted the silver locks on his head. He is a child after all, well, just a highly intellectual child with special abilities and the primary successor of a world-renowned detective.

The door slid open and the female doctor appeared. "How is your wound?"

I glanced down at my stomach and let go of Near. It was a little painful but a lot more manageable now. "Ofelia would not like this."

The female doctor changed my dressings. Near stood in a corner, eating his third doughnut. When the female doctor prescribed me another medicine, she said to me. "I need to apply ointment in your wound once it stops bleeding. You need to do it everyday, okay so the recovery would be even."

"Thank you very much, doctor--"

"Andy," she smiled at me warmly. "You can call me Andy."

I nodded, blushing a little. When she left again, L appeared two minutes after. He walked in, hunching with hands buried deep down his pockets. He looked at me and then at Near. "Well?"

"Come here, L."

When he was close to me, I immediately embraced him. L placed his own arms around me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I answered weakly.

"You really have to take a rest." L said to me sadly, brushing a strand of hair from my face. "You need to gather enough strength."

"I'll be fine." I said. "But I'm not sure you are."

L looked at Near slightly and then back at me. "I expected this. I know how to take precautions, Francesca. Do not worry about me."

"You can't just tell me that." I looked at him firmly. "L, I know this is too much to ask but could you stay around with me tonight?"

L sighed and looked at Near. The kid picked up the hint and proceeded to the door, leaving us alone. L looked back at me and sat beside me. He rubbed his palm on my wound. "Does it still hurt?"

"Not that much." I answered. "Andy is good at what she does."

"She is an exceptional healer."

We looked at each other for a long time. L cupped me by the back of the head and pressed my mouth against his in a hungry kiss. I held onto him and the anxiety was appeased for a moment. I held his face and spoke against our mouths. "I want to protect you."

"From what?" he gave me a small smile as he fondled from my hair.

"From anything." I looked back at him steadily. "You know I can do it."

L shook his head good-humoredly. "First you need to take a rest."

He pushed me down gently by the shoulders. When he lay me down on the bed, he kissed me again. "It sucks to be you right now."

"You're lucky I can't kick you."

"I suppose Near has told you everything you need to know." L remarked. "He's a good kid. You will like him very well."

"So the Wammy House is your home then."

L raised an eyebrow. "It looks like you have gotten to know each other well."

"Lie beside me, L." He did what I asked him to do. I moved to his side and rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as my lullaby. He lay perfectly still and it made me wonder what he was thinking about. "I'm glad you let me be part of what you do."

"You were qualified for the position."

"How about the position of becoming your girlfriend?"

"I haven't really thought about it."

"Well, you often proclaim that you feel passionately about me."

"You must understand," L answered me truthfully. "There are bigger things in this world than you and me. I want you to see and experience that. It doesn't mean that I am detaching myself from you when I have no time discussing matters like this that concern about how we feel for each other."

"I know." I said. "I guess we should put aside our feelings for each other until the right time comes."

"Thank you for understanding, Francesca."

"I love you."

"I guess me too."

I laughed and closed my eyes. L kept fondling my hair, as he lay wide-awake. I yawned instinctively and fell into the most comfortable slumber.Without doubt, without question, I know this is the place in the whole world I want to be part of.

**I can't constantly update since I am not in home anymore because my parents decided that I should take a vacation in my grandmother's place for a while. The Internet connection is only dial-up so I can't always use it. So I will make a deal with all of you, I will update three chapters together like this one and in return, I expect, if not too much to ask, longer, meaningful reviews for those three chapters, okay? I need a lot of encouragement since all I do now here is just make stories. This is the life! Now it's for you to decide to review this first or proceed to the next chapters and just produce one review. Arigatou Gozaimasu!**


	12. Lectures with Homemade Pastries

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**Welcome back, dear readers. Here I am again with another chapter. I need to finish "Vengeance Paid" before indulging this further or I might get carried away with this one and take for granted the other one. Okie dokie, where are we so far? Ah, of course! Near is present now! I hope that my explanations about the cases they are trying to solve are detailed and informative enough. I love L Lawliet's career as a modern day detective so why not grant him cases that are equal to that of James Bond and other world-renowned servants of the law, right? Enjoy this chapter. It consists mostly about the Mendez Family but be assured that it won't get boring. Was I ever boring? Here I go again, being ego-inflated.**

**Let your writing speak for itself, Harley, goddammit! **

**For your generous reviews, I will make it to a point to mention you again and answer any questions you need clarifying when I uploaded the next two chapters. Since we all have an appetite for enigma, let's carry on!**

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**Lectures on Family Values with Homemade Pastries**

Near's luggage consisted of eleven puzzle boxes of different number of pieces, a choo-choo train set, a big set of Lego, a pack of cards, racing ducks with an inflating small pool, eight puppets, a chessboard, six darts and dartboard, three twelve foot robots and finally, a thousand die. He kept all of them in three big bags, separating them from smallest (the Lego, die, darts, cards) to the medium (the ducks, the inflating pool, dartboard, chessboard, puppets) and the biggest (robots, choo-choo train set and puzzles.) The bag he kept his clothes on were the thing he carried around in the airplane. I am not sure how many clothes he brought but I sure bet it's nothing compared to the amount of toys he wanted to fill my family's hacienda. He carried around this white teddy bear wearing a hooded yellow sweater as we rode the airplane. It was so cute that I couldn't help but look at it once in a while.

"You could always ask me to lend it to you." Near remarked.

I drank my red wine casually and replied. "Does your teddy bear have a name?"

"Ashton Francis." Near simply answered. "I call him 'Affy' for short. I made him myself."

"The sweater is cute."

"He gets cold sometimes." Near answered childishly and for that moment he seemed to be like any other kid and I dwelled on that fantasy. He handed me the teddy bear. I took it with a smile and stared at it. Affy had a yellow nose and yellow soles. His fur was extremely white. I glanced at Near and asked. "You like white, don't you?"

The albino boy nodded. "White is elegant."

"So you know how to sew?"

"I like working with my hands." Near remarked. I nodded at that and removed Affy's hood so I could fondle his ears that have a round yellow pattern inside it.

"He is as handsome as his creator."

"You don't know that."

"I look at Affy and I see you."

"I don't look like a teddy bear, Luisa."

I laughed at that. I was surprised to find that I am starting to enjoy his company. L really likes this kid, I could tell and it's easy to like Near when you look pass his cold, conniving nature. I kept playing around with the teddy bear. Near looked at me curiously as I did but said nothing.

The plane landed on the Venice airport by 12:15. I helped Near with his bags. It was a good thing that I have a stroller. Near carried his two bags like a man. Well, if he did want all of that stuff, he should at least be responsible for it. I carried the bag with Lego, die etc. He carried the big ones without complaining. His bag with his clothes was a knapsack so he carried it around easily. We waited and sat on a bench.

"My brother Alfonso will pick us up here." I said. "Are you hungry?"

"It can wait." Near looked straight ahead. "Your house is in Bologna, is that right?"

"Yeah, it's a long journey there from here so we should probably eat first."

Near just regarded me with a small nod.

"I really like the color of your hair." I placed a hand on his curls. "Silver blond, I guess. What is your nationality, Near?"

Near looked up at me slowly. "You are very sensual. You like touching."

"Is something wrong about that?"

"Yes." Near's face was blank. "I don't like being touched all the time."

I took that as a cue (more like a warning sign or a bad omen) and lowered my hand from his head. I just decided to fondle Affy. "Even his eyes are yellow."

"He has hepatitis C."

I chuckled and looked at Near. "That's a joke, right?"

"Go figure if it's not that obvious." That statement was thick with cold sarcasm. I ignored it and said nothing to him again.

Near noticed that he somehow made me uncomfortable and he was pleased with it. He was not outwardly rude, just accurate and honest when something causes him dismay. His moods are predictable and he remains cool-headed all the time. He really doesn't have much any personal opinion on things around him except in logical terms. If he did become personal, it would make him human, which I recently discover is not the strongest possibility right now. He is also paler than L, albino-skinned, as I like to refer to it. The discoloration on his complexion is the same as his ruthless, unfeeling aura. Lack of pigmentation is a bad thing after all.

"Luisa?" Near faced me. "Do they have toy stores around here?"

I raised an eyebrow. Didn't he bring the entire Toy Kingdom already inside his bags?

"Yes. It's in Milan."

"That's right here Venice."

"Yes, Near."

"Can you take me there, Cheska? I like toy stores."

I was surprised that he called me by my real name and then I felt strong arms pull me up. If I hadn't known better, I would have threw the man who held me that way to the ground. But the touch was familiar and missed. I turned around and hugged him warmly. "Bless you, Alfonso."

Alfonso hugged me back. Then he looked at the kid. "Is this the boy you mentioned over the phone, Chekikay?"

Near tried not to smile at the nickname but I could see he wanted to. He regarded my brother with a careful glance. "Nice to meet cha. I'm Rene."

"_Gwapito_." Alfonso pinched his cheek. The pale flesh actually colored. "He needs a lot of sun and meat. Look at how malnourished this kid is."

Near frowned at that and I knew he took the harmless concern as an insult to his pride. I chuckled and said to my brother. "We should get somewhere to eat."

"Mama is waiting in Milan right now."

"There's a toy store there." Near remarked to himself but Alfonso answered with another pinch on the cheek. "Of course, _gwapolito_!"

Near was not pleased so he smiled a lot. That's how he hides his dissatisfaction, behind the fake childish smile of a twelve-year-old, conniving bastard.

Alfonso carried Near's three bags. "Dios mio, what kind of things do a child like you carry around, Renecito?"

"I have toys in there, please be careful." Near walked passed me and took my hand. The gesture of his fingers closing on mine made me blush a little. I should not go around flustering. This is an act. We need to make this believable. I have to give him some encouragement. Near will be meeting my family. That would be scary for him. If he hates sensual touching and cheek-pinching now, just wait until he meets my other brothers and Ofelia.

We did not drive in silence as Near could hope for. Alfonso is a talker and so are the rest of the men in my family in their ripe twenties expect the eldest and heir of the business, Pablo, my father's favorite first son.

"So I was flirting with this señorita in the dance floor, showing her my boogie moves." He continued.

"She was smitten instantly, right?" I answered with a grin.

"You bet your ass crack she is!" Alfonso roared in laughter. He was a beefy man with a clean dark beard maintained by our family hairdresser. He was chewing on a tobacco, a custom for the men in our family except the youngest, my baby brother Diego who is only fifteen.

Near was on the backseat, trying not to listen to our conversation that is totally useless to him. He glanced outside with a calm face. My brother looked at him through his mirror. "Renecito? Got any hot mamas from where you came from?"

"I don't get along well with people." Near answered politely.

"Probably because you don't talk much, eh." Alfonso added. "Girls like funny men. I'm a funny man. I know what tickles them. You should make a girl laugh so she will like you."

"Thank you, that is helpful." Near kept a straight face but I knew better.

"Chekikay here is moody as you are." Alfonso added some more. "She would know how to be all prim and proper but I know this girl well. She doesn't take crap from anybody. You can bet that on De Vito's ass."

I just laughed. "I admit I'm not sociable but we don't need to relive the days."

"You have been gone for a long time. Mama misses you. Pablo and Diego would kiss your pictures when you were a small girl. Javier, Lucius and I want you to go rabbit-hunting again with us. Where have you been screwing around, Chekikay? Now you landed on a pilot boy. I swear sometimes I think you're better off a lesbiana. No offense to your brother, Renecito."

"Are you Cheska's stepbrother?"

"Si, Javier and Lucius as well." Alfonso chewed even harder on the tobacco as he made a U-turn to the parking space. "Here we are, Don Miguel's."

He turned off the ignition and the three of us stepped outside. Near took my hand again and I squeezed it affectionately. He did not mind. We entered the restaurant and Diego immediately appeared and embraced me. Near, much to his horror, was pulled away from me by Javier and Lucius who fuzzed him over. "Looks like you're not the cute one anymore, Diego!" they said together.

"I missed you, prinsesa." It was Pablo. He gave him a pat on the head and kissed my cheek. "Ofelia wants to see you."

Near pleaded me to take him by looking at me with genuinely terrified eyes but Pablo already led me to my stepmother, leaving the poor kid to be assaulted with big hugs and more cheek pinching.

Ofelia stood up and kissed my hands. It was her gesture of motherly concern and also because I don't allow her to hug me. I smiled at her.

"You came home, Paula."

I tried to keep the smile going on though I averted my gaze to the side. I decided to excuse myself and helped Near to get away from the crowd of beefy men. He was thankful and showed it by holding me tightly around the waist. Compared to my brothers, he figured out I was a sweet kitten. I introduced him to Ofelia. She bent down a little and greeted him. "Hello, _hijo_."

Near blinked at her, already confused and taken aback from the warm welcomes he just received from complete strangers.

"Renecito is starving." Alfonso announced as he clapped his hands together and called out the waiters. "Hurry, you pests! My sister has come! What did I tell you about the plates? I said the oval ones, right?"

I sat between Near and Diego. My brother reached out a hand amiably to Near. "Welcome to the family, Rene."

Near looked at the hand and then at Alfonso arguing with the chef. Then he looked at Pablo who sat impassively across him, at Ofelia who stood up just to fondle the curls of his hair then at Javier and Lucius who are singing Karaoke on the corner, dedicating a song to him. Then he rested his eyes on me as he shook Diego's hand.

"Nice to meet y'all." Near said quietly but he might as well said. _Take me back to England, please._

**--oOoOoOoOoOoOo--**

The first thing Near did when he got to the toy store is to go to the puzzle section. There weren't many people around it so he contentedly browsed through the merchandises on the shelf. He busied himself, scrutinizing every puzzle set. I watched him from a corner, smiling to myself.

"Check out this Barbie doll's tetas!" Javier exclaimed as he waved it around.

I saw Near winced a little. I smiled wider and walked towards him. He looked up at me and then at my brother Javier and Lucius playing around with the doll. Then he whispered. "Pablo is not doing a good job being a role model to his other siblings. A shame, really since I like his manners the best."

"He is thirty, what do you expect?"

"And _them_?" Near emphasized the word distastefully.

"They are twins." I told him. "Both are twenty-five. Alfonso is twenty-seven."

"The difference in your ages with your brother Pablo is puzzling."

"Twelve years, I know." I looked away. "He is actually my half-brother. He was from my father's first wife."

Near blinked. "Your mother Fatima is only a second wife? That didn't appear in the records."

"Well, that's because Pablo's mother was not really married to Papa."

"I see." Near nodded at that as he pulled a puzzle set.

"Don't you have enough?"

"Don't question my fixation, Chekikay."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you done inspecting?"

He nodded and gave a small cold smile. "I need to get back to my room and finish this one. I still have a lot of my things to arrange. I need a bigger room, Chekikay, if you don't mind."

The excessive nickname-calling is getting to me. "You have to ask Ofelia--"

"Ofelia!" Near trudged towards my stepmother who regarded him with a big smile. "Can I have a big room? I have a lot of stuff."

Ofelia giggled and fondled his hair. "Of course, _bella hijo_."

Near smiled at her then looked at me, holding the plaster smile completely still. I just have to kill L once I get back to the headquarters, making me baby-sit Satan's spawn. We got back home around five. Diego helped Near unpack his stuff. I noticed that my brother seemed happy to have Near around since their ages are close to each other. I just prayed to God Almighty that oh-so-great Near would act his age this time. I spent my time cooking in the kitchen with Alfonso. He could really cook and he loves food and it shows. Ofelia kept passing by and I knew she wanted to have a private conversation with me but I really did not feel like facing her. I really do not hate her. I just have really messed up issues.

I am getting out of track. I have something to pursue here. I have a goal that I promised L. I love my family. I love Diego and Pablo most of all as well as my crazy stepbrothers but okay, maybe I am not so happy with Ofelia around. I just...okay, getting off-tracked again.

"So what happened to your boyfriend's mama?" Alfonso asked as he flipped the meat. "Is her health that bad?"

"Russell is pretty worried about Rene," I answered. "His mother has some terminal illness and he wants to protect Rene from it. He didn't even inform me exactly what he was dealing with. He just told me to take Rene and get to somewhere safe. I was angry and confused at first but then I realized that all those times it was for the best."

I paused and then said. "And I also thought that maybe he was trying to protect me too."

This could work. The Russell Jones boyfriend story could work as long as I relate it to my relationship with L.

"You must love him a lot, Chekikay."

I allowed a small smile. "Yeah, I love him a lot."

"Is dinner ready?" Javier appeared.

"We are having Chekikay's special pastries." Alfonso said happily. "It's been a long time. I miss her meringue."

The twins helped with fixing the table and then Alfonso and I brought the food out. Ofelia sat on the end of the table while Pablo sat across her. Diego and Near appeared. The look on the albino boy's face was adorable. He was thinking _damn, we just ate hours ago._ He smiled at Ofelia and sat beside me.

We have a system during dinner. It was a tradition my late mother initiated and Ofelia kindly brought back to life. We would pass on our plates around so we could fill each other the food of our choice for whoever's plate it is. Ofelia starts it then we follow her lead. We choose food for the plate we get at a time. When everybody got Near's plate, we all picked our favorites so he could taste them all. Javier gave him the biggest roasted chicken. Ofelia filled him with fettuccini and a lot of sauce. Diego gave him three slices of garlic bread. Pablo poured him red wine, saying that a sip won't hurt. Alfonso added his own special calamari dish and red peppers. Lucius just added more roasted chicken. When his plate reached him, Near just smiled so wide that it really hurt him. I giggled and placed a meringue on top of his platter and kissed his cheek. "Welcome to the family."

Near tried to eat even half of his share but I could see he wished he were bulimic. The family really adores him and he didn't particularly enjoy how everyone shows it to him. I just smiled when I realize how ironic it is having him around in our dinner table now that he is opposite of everything you can find in a warm home. I started wondering about his past again and I can see that whatever it is, it doesn't consist family gatherings. I suddenly felt bad wallowing in his humiliation and felt rather sorry about how he is reacting to all of it.

I tucked him to bed that night but he really didn't want to sleep. He was surrounded with toys and puzzles and the choo-choo train was running. I glanced at him in his own little world and felt really sad. Near noticed my presence but didn't look up.

"You need some sleep, Near."

"Frustrating."

"What?"

"Unprogressive."

"What are you talking about, Near?"

"I am just enumerating the words that would describe what we had accomplish so far." Near spoke in a calm tone. "Oblivious."

"We have to get used to this, Near."

"Intolerable."

"Would you stop it, Near!" I closed the door behind me and walked inside the room. I knelt before him. "We are going to start our own investigation in the morning, I promise. I would take you to our shop and we could do what we have to do, okay?"

Near said nothing and proceeded working on his puzzle.

"I feel bad." I said, rubbing my palms on my knees. "The whole thing just makes you nauseated, doesn't it?"

"Try murderous."

"I didn't know that putting you through a wide range of affection and love could knock you a little off balance. I guess you're just not used to it and I should have known. I should have been more supportive."

Near stopped what he was doing and looked up at me. "L knew this would happen. I think this is a new lesson for me."

I looked at him curiously. "What lesson?"

"He's teaching me about family."

I leaned closer. "And what did you learn?"

Near sighed. "Your family is nice."

"Thank you."

Near nodded and then added, "Except your relationship with Ofelia. You don't like her around, don't you?"

I stood up and smiled. Then I bent down and reached him. He didn't know how to react. When I pulled him up completely, I was surprised that he wasn't as heavy as I expected. I managed to sit him on the bed. Near did not like that but he said nothing and twisted a strand of hair and looked at me.

"I need you stop speculating me."

"You're interesting and you're L's girlfriend." Near answered me silently. "I need to know everything about you because I am still not sure if I could trust you."

I walked to the table where his Lego set and cards are. I pulled out a card and showed it to him. "Lucky me. It's a diamond."

Near smiled slightly. "Game it is."

"Have you ever once loved anybody in your life?"

Near looked at me with a careful gaze and did not look away. He didn't answer either. I didn't wait for it. I rushed towards him and kissed him hard against his unresponsive lips then quickly pulled away. Near looked surprised at the unwanted contact but he kept his placid face on and didn't say a word.

"Good night, Rene."

The next morning, I fulfilled my promise to Near. We really did not feel like talking about last night and we did not have the energy to mention it as well. We walked inside a crowded marketplace until we reached the retail shop. We have several business offices in the region but I decided to take him where the money goes, that is, being Javier and Lucius' territory. Pablo is the head of everything but he goes to global trips so my other brothers take care of the business around here. I explained that to Near as I showed him some of the latest artifacts to be auctioned.

"Our legal rights to hold these kind of antiques are supported by the government." I explained to him. "We invest large funds of foreign money to keep this business going. Our yearly income is over a million dollars per se. The figures all depend on the sales, of course. We sell to top museums all across the world and then to wealthy individual collectors and so forth."

"How many men do you employ?"

"Well, this business have been around for thirty years now," I added furthermore. "We have branches and the company has an estimated sum of a thousand employees. We do gold digging and whatever we discover is ours. We get it licensed to ours as property and then we sell it to the highest possible price."

"It must have been a very effective tactic."

"Well, the Mendez partnership with the Garboux also helps."

"The Garboux business sells jewelry, is that correct?"

"Any precious stone and jewel that could be taken from the earth's crust is their baby. They have the same procedure as ours. In the future, we wish to marry the two businesses together in order to rule one big empire."

"Who handles their business?"

"As of now, Nicoline's older brother Jean."

We walked pass the collection we are about to sell and I showed it to him and he paid keen interest. "These things are fragile and must be handled carefully."

I decided to just ask him something that has been bothering me. "How does our business fit in the series of murders you are investigating?"

"We are looking at all angles and theories." Near explained. "Your cousin used a ship intended for your own business aids to distribute the drugs. L's friend was murdered for these stones and then murders followed with the writing in those stones carved in the victims' bodies. Not to mention a possibility of a secret society. And then your cousin involves himself into a sticky situation that compromises your credibility as one of ours and yet L accepts you in the taskforce due to the obvious fact that he is in love with you. If I was the one who evaluated you, I won't consider you qualified for the position."

He looked at me. "But here we are now. There is no point on looking at my mentor's flaws in his judgement. We have an alarming situation presented to us. We will concentrate on that and try to be professional."

"As long as you don't always have to point out how much you distrust me."

"Indeed, Agent Luprecci." Near smiled. "I do know that you have potentials in this given area and I respect your skills and if you try to be more resilient, you may pull this off. L chose you for that even though it only came second in your requirement. You had revealed that you are able to go lengths to win and I like winning. You can put aside your dignity in order to acquire success just like the time when you seduced that son from a Colombian family for the sake of business. Sex is a good weapon, I must agree. I am not saying sleep around. I am saying use that scheming nature of yours to win this game."

Near faced me. "We need to find a leak, Luisa. I need you to throw yourself in there and look for it."

"I understand."

"Do you know what everyone thinks about you in the agency?"

"Do I really have to know?"

"They envy you greatly," Near answered as he walked ahead of me. "You hooked up with the great detective of the century. Who wouldn't want to kill you for that?"

**--oOoOoOoOoOoOo--**

Ofelia finally got me to herself that afternoon. She approached me with a gentle smile. I looked at her slightly and tried to act normal but it was apparent that things would never change between us. It's always going to be awkward. It's not like Ofelia is annoying or a bad person. She is actually nurturing and very nice and I see that as a real problem since she shouldn't be like this. You know about the stereotype image of a stepmother like? She should be like the Cinderella or Snow White stepmother. I did not even know why I would ask for something selfish like that but one thing is certain to me. I don't like Ofelia around and I certainly hate it when she tries to be my mother when that position has been filled already even after all this time.

"I have been looking for you." Ofelia said as she sat across me. We were in the veranda. I regarded her lightly. She knew how much I don't like her around and yet she keeps trying to reach out. This is pathetic of her and I feel guilty of making it even worse.

"I need to tell you something, Paula." Ofelia began.

I don't know what happened but I just said something stupid. "Mama is the only one who can call me Paula."

Ofelia frowned slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I answered, not looking at her. "So what do you want to tell me?"

She put her hands on her lap and looked at me for a long time before she spoke, "I really want us to talk. We're not really that close, aren't we?"

I just nodded solemnly.

"I know that I have no right to point that out but I really want you to see me as a family."

"You are family, Ofelia." I answered. "You have been a good mother to my brothers especially to Diego."

"But not to you." She looked at me sadly. "Why won't you accept me, Paula?"

"We don't want this conversation right now."

"No, we need to talk about this."

"Ofelia, please."

"You didn't like it in here because of me," Ofelia reached her hand to hold mine. "I want to be important to you too."

"Ofelia," I pulled my hand away, repulsed for some unknown reason. "Please, let us no be hard on ourselves. We are okay in this family. We don't clash. I just don't connect with you and I never want to. I don't know why, don't ask me. I just don't want it. Ofelia, you're a good person. You loved my father and treated me like your own child but, you know that since mama died--"

I felt the tears. I looked away. Ofelia nodded, "I understand, _hija. _I never wanted to replace Fatima in your life. She was so young when she died and I knew you never got over it because you don't want to talk about it."

"I am not emotional, Ofelia."

"Yes," Ofelia smiled. "You are like your Papa. You hold it in."

"I'm very sorry, Ofelia." I said and I really meant it. "I have nothing against you but I just don't feel like being your friend. I just don't know why but please just leave that part inside of me alone, okay?"

Ofelia nodded, closing her eyes. "I am always here."

"I know," I smiled at her. "And thank you for everything."

Ofelia smiled and changed the subject. "Well, everything in business is doing fine. You brought Rene to the shop, did you not?"

"Yeah," I replied. "He is a curious kid. So I guess everything is stable and flourishing. Pablo is an excellent businessman."

"Just like Papa."

"Your sons are doing well themselves."

"Yes but they can be irresponsible," Ofelia laughed. "You know what happened to Salvador, right?"

I nodded and asked. "Do you think he really has something to do with it?"

Ofelia fingered her skirt. "I'm not sure about that. I was disappointed if he did choose such dirty way to live. Can you believe he used one of our cargo ships for drugs? It was just disappointing."

"I think he's in deeper trouble than that."

"I am worried about this family." Ofelia looked at me gravely. "Things had changed since Pablicito died."

"A lot of things don't stay the same especially if death changes them."

Ofelia took something from her pocket. It was her handkerchief. She spreads it on her palm and revealed a round flat stone I have been seeing for a long time now. I eyed it, trying to hide my surprise and convulsing horror. She spoke with a clear voice. "We have a new collection in our hands."

"Where did that come from?"

Her answer dug a hole inside me. "Africa."

"Who is auctioning this?"

"Oh, this is not for sale." Ofelia chuckled, looking at the stone with glee in her eyes. "These are special types of ritual stones used by the African tribes."

"Who gave them to you, Ofelia?"

Ofelia looked up at me. "Is something wrong, Paula?"

"Who gave them to you?" My voice sounded far away from me. I was trying to keep calm. "Where did you get it?"

"A business in Europe is opening and this is their latest collection and they asked me to keep it in our treasury. Pablo saw no problem with it since they paid us two million dollars to hold these stones for them."

"How many are they?"

"About sixty, I guess." Ofelia looked at me curiously. "I am not sure since once in a while they take them out. What's wrong, Paula?"

"How long have they been in our market possession?"

"A year now." Ofelia winced a little to my sudden change of mood. "Pablo had signed the deal with the benefactors last February."

"And you haven't told me about this?" I stood up and rushed to Near's room without saying anything to her.

"Paula, where are you going?" she called out worriedly.

"Near!" I shut the door behind me and approached him. Near eyed me languidly as he was playing with a cowboy puppet while eating my pastries.

"I suppose this is something good?"

"We need to go back to the British Port, Near."

"Would you mind going further to the details?" he asked me as I went about the room nervously. "What is wrong, Luisa?"

"We have one hell of a scary investment with terrorists, Near." I answered him with my voice shaking. "Our business possesses the stones for over a year now. Salvador must know all of this. He is still being held prisoner in Scotland Yard, is he not? I need to see him. I need to deal with that asshole."

"Keep your voice down." Near stood up. "Are you sure about this move, Agent Luprecci?"

"I need to see L." I was eyeing him angrily. I could not help it. "This would get out of control, Near. It would get ugly. I need to speak directly to L."

Near nodded and pulled out the plug of his choo-choo train. "Give me twenty minutes to pack my things."

"Okay," I was about to open the door and fix my own things as well and then ask permission from Ofelia when Near called out. "Wait."

"What?"

"We can't just leave, Luisa." He said slowly. "It would rise suspicion. If this reach our adversaries, it might trigger tension. We don't want to pour more gas on the fire."

"What are you going to do then?" I looked at him, exhausted as I can be.

"We wait for another day and find a credible excuse to go back." Near explained. "We can't just disappear under the circumstances. You obviously alerted your stepmother. You don't want to do that."

I nodded vigorously. "Okay, okay, okay."

Near plugged his choo-choo train again and went back to his cowboy puppet. I just stood there.

"This is hard on you, I understand." Near said after a period of silence.

"You don't know that."

"If so, then let us end this conversation."

I bit my lip and opened the door. I looked back at him sternly before I left. "You do what you have to do, Near. As for me, I need to save my family."

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**Francesca and L have other theme songs. Besides "4ever" by The Veronicas (the one they sung while pulling Nicoline from under the bed if you could still remember) and "Everything" by Alanis Morisette (Francesca recited the lyrics before L's goodbye) they also have "Favorite" by Liz Phair. You can download the three songs for your listening pleasure and add that to the soundtrack of this story like Avril Lavigne's "Contagious" (my favorite of all.) Just so you have something to listen to while reading. Tell me what you think of the songs, okay? I will be giving more songs that could fit this story. Till then, au revoir!**

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	13. Letures with Yoplait Yogurt

**Gosh, I really like how this story going. I hope all of you feel the same. I hope you like the Mendez Family and Near's participation to the story. The other Death Note characters will appear soon so stay tuned! Thank you very much for bearing with me as always, dear readers! You are dear to me and that's no expression! You were concerned about my health and I am so gratified with that. I will be gone for a very long time but please do remember me and if not, you could building a shrine for me. With that narcissistic remark, I do hope I made you smile a little. No writer could ask for more. Y'all are a tantalizing audience to the boot!**

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**"It takes no time to fall in love but it takes you years to know what love is."**

**-Jason Mraz, "Life is Wonderful"**

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**Lectures on Trust with Yoplait Yogurt **_(thank you, __xREWIND__, I love this stuff)_

I had convinced the rest of my family that I had to go back with Near because my boyfriend Russell wants to see his brother now. We waited for two days before Near and I decided to take action and make the excuses. My family sent their best wishes for the good of health of Russell's mother and wanted to give her something really special so Ofelia handed me the pearl necklace our hunters have extracted from the deepest coral reefs of the Pacific back in 1987. It was as big as a thumb. I thanked her for the gift. Javier and Lucius who are clearly attached to Near hugged him like they were smothering him. Near managed to escape just in time before he turned blue from the lack of air and shook Diego's hand. He gave my brother one of his robots and Diego promised to take good care of it. I smiled at this kind gesture. Pablo kissed me in either cheek and made me promise to keep him informed with my life. After the formal goodbyes, Alfonso took us back to the airport. Once we finally got to our seats in the airplane and were flying contentedly, I placed the necklace on Near's palm. He looked at it curiously and then he glanced at my face.

"I think you should have it." I regarded him gently.

Near's gaze was serene and he closed his fingers around the ornament appreciatively.

"Near?" I said. "Do you think I overreacted?"

"You responded to your instincts. There is nothing wrong with that. You made the right call. We really need to inform L about this so we could formulate a new theory."

I nodded. "Thank you for all the things you did for me these couple of days."

"You got me the information we all need." Near answered back. "You did your job well."

"It's a real pleasure working with you."

Near looked straight ahead, still clutching the necklace while his twisted a strand of silver hair around his finger once more. "Okay, Luisa."

I was extremely bored and I think that it justifies the next action I took after that last phrase. I placed a hand on his knee and when he turned to look at me, I kissed him on the forehead. I closed my eyes and we stayed like that for a very long time. As soon as I pulled away, I stroke his silver curls with a kind smile.

"Luisa?"

"Yes, Near?"

His eyes were blank. "If you wish to do that again, you could at least do it again in the right place."

"Right place?"

Near tapped his lips with a finger. "This is where you were supposed to kiss me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? On what grounds do you think we should kiss in that manner?"

"What manner? I obviously concluded that when you are vulnerable, you have the compulsion to kiss me. I will keep that in mind, Luisa, next time you become fragile so I could be around."

"You like me kissing you?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Near gave his best predator sadistic smile.

"I don't know what truly goes on in that mind, Near."

"Since we are associates now, Agent Luprecci, I might give you a prelude."

I breathed a sigh of hypocritical relief. He stopped twisting his hair and proceeded fingering the necklace with both hands. "I want to possess you someday."

I flinched. "Excuse me?"

"I want everything L has. I am his successor. You, I believe, will be included in the heirloom." He raised his eyes back at me.

"This isn't funny, Near."

"I never have any humorous anecdotes to begin with so what gives you the impression that I am attempting to jest?"

"You made the Hepatitis joke before with Affy."

"That made you laugh? Oh my."

"I don't like where you are going with this, Near."

"Neither do I but if you don't mind, I like to play a game."

"I do mind."

"Let's call it mental release." He lay the necklace on his lap and started examining the pearl. "I would like to pursue you in a manner that would be akin to courtship. I would use strategies to entertain you while you are consequently having mental orgasms with L. You have two games now, Luisa. Mental orgasm and mental release. Does it not excite you?"

I frowned at how detached and nonchalant he just said that. I was baffled by his challenge. It might be nauseating and disturbing but Near is adorable. He knows it. I know it. He knows that I know it. Bastard.

"How do you know about mental orgasm, Near?"

"I had quite a few of them with L's help."

"Eww, I do not need to know that."

"It's purely conversational." Near slightly smiled. "The three us believe in its existence and it is the rarest form of sexual gratification. Intellect and verbal orientation is greatly used to achieve its highest excellence."

"You some kind of a pervert now, Near?"

"You mean there is another kind? And no, I am not. I do not jest. I do not care. I would like to play this game and you will play with me too."

"Do you think L would be pleased with that?"

"L likes a challenge."

I crossed my legs and my skirt went up a little. To my pleasant surprise, Near looked at them but said nothing to point it out. I just smiled. "Okay then. I shall allow you to initiate your attempts to be a suitor of mine if L allows it."

"He would allow it. L likes a challenge."

"Well, you forget to take one factor here, Near." I looked down at my lap. "L loves me and I love him."

"That withers and perishes just like anything in the world." Near smiled at me in the way he only could. "I will be waiting for that."

"How can you tell love does not last?" I was eager and interested now.

"I just do." Near saw that I was being mesmerized so he went on, "And by the way, Luisa, you would be officially under my command from now on as we go throughout this mission. L is only the supervisor, which means you get to spend less time with him and more time with me. In line with that predicament, I will seduce you in ways you would never see coming. Once you succumb, I will possess you."

"Near, you do understand what the hell you are proposing and provoking here."

Near glanced at me. "Are you afraid that you might succumb?"

"No, I am horrified that you plan on doing something so self-centered and cruel."

Near's eyes harden for a moment as he replied. "I want to have everything L has."

Then it softened and broke contact and then he spoke with a very formal, languid tone. "I admire and respect him. Regardless of that poignant idolizing, I still prefer to court you. Let me do that, Luisa. Be assured though that it would not affect our jobs as associates. If you fuck me over with the investigation, I will fuck you ten times over. I witnessed a mild emotional episode and I would not like that to go further more. Are we clear, Agent Luprecci?"

I bit my lower lip and stared at him. I knew right then that my life is at stake here now that a conniving snake is surrounding me. I knew Near loves L like a father but he would deliberately try to win over anything he could put his hands on for whatever cost. He knows how to play dirty. With him age is really nothing but a number and I have to say I feel really threatened. Best to be cautious in dealing with him from now on.

"I won't fuck you over, Near." I said in a restrained voice.

"Thank you, Luisa." Near finally put on the necklace. "Make no mistake from now on, I will make you fall in love with me. How does that make you feel?"

"Like Charles Mason and his Helter Skelter is crawling under my flesh. For a split second it made me one of Peter Kurten's victims."

Near smiled at that. "I'm not surprised you know crime history. You just compared my ways of being affectionate to the worst sexual deviant sociopaths that ever lived. I like your reference with Kurten though."

He leaned closer before I could open my mouth to respond. "Do you know what he said to a psychiatrist an hour before his execution? Let me quote. 'After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be the pleasure to end all pleasures.' Very fascinating."

I looked away. I was consumed by an emotion that is like having a knife shoved down my throat. Though at the back of my mind, I wanted to know what mental releases this twelve-year old genius could offer me. "Kurten did kill women, men, children, animals and anything that moves and breathes for sexual relief. There are at least sixty-eight victims. One is an eight-year old girl he randomly raped and then slashed her throat while she was in bed inside her own home. He was also a child who witnessed his drunk father, after beating him and his siblings, rape their mother."

"In addition to that, his father raped his thirteen-year old sister which young Kurten followed suit. Then he was taught by a local dogcatcher how to torture animals. He even stated that he used to drink the blood from the swans he decapitated. His first human killing was by drowning his two playmates when the three of them were swimming. I think he was only ten."

"You find it fascinating, right?"

"I feel sad." Near's voice was impassive as his face as he stared at the pearl. "And yes, fascinated by all means. And you?"

"Hurt." I changed the topic so I could conceal how I really feel about ugly violence. "Are we going to meet L as soon as we get there?"

"We would go back to the base to speak to him briefly and then travel to Saudi Arabia to join Agent Misora." Near flipped a coin in the air and caught it with his palm.

"We will assist in that investigation?"

"Yes." Near looked at his palm. "It will be a good exercise for you. Sort of a--what's the term?" then he paused to look at me. "Mental release."

"Ah, the game is finally commenced."

We landed on the British port after my chilling episode with Near the seed of Chuckie. He took his loaded bags with him and we walked through the long plastic tube. When we got to the security guard, we surrendered the bags and were led immediately to Quillish. The old man gave me a serene, kind smile and I actually felt safe again when I saw his face. I returned his smile and placed a hand on his arm. "I need to see L now."

"I fear as much," he walked beside me, allowing my hand to slip through his arm. "Agent Kroiger has raided drug smugglers sixteen hours ago. Meanwhile, Agent Misora is conducting a search for body parts all across Saudi Arabia."

I looked at him puzzlingly. "Body parts?"

"They chopped Leonard Telesco's body and scattered it around." Near answered me.

See, ugly violence is indeed hurtful.

Quillish took me by the hand this time, giving it a squeeze and then opened the door to a furnished office. I looked around and saw the indication of his presence. Candy wrappers on the floor, finished bucket of ice cream, freshly baked cookies, empty coffee cup and a slice of strawberry cake. I adjusted myself and saw him standing over the window, hunching as usual. He wore the same clothes, white shirt, and faded jeans. He was completely absorbed with his thoughts that he did not look at me even when I put a hand on his shoulder. I waited for him to turn around but he didn't. Instead he said to me, "Near, did you find the methods of the Mendez business sufficiently?"

"Sufficiently."

"I have Matt decoding the database for possible suspects. We have them all in record, investors, stockbrokers etc. We have to eliminate every possible angle of what and who may be involved in selling those stones."

"The stones are not on the collection, L." Near replied. "They are under the protection for the Mendez business. I am inclined to believe that whoever or whatever gave those stones probably met the head of the business personally. He needed to know whom to go to when the stones go missing."

"You have a name?"

"Pablo Mendez."

I slowly put my hand down to my side. "L, please talk to me."

L started to walk around the room, placing slowly as he scratched his head. "Near, I want you to sift through all the records of Pablo Mendez. I need every information about him. I need to know all the smallest details, appointments, bills, associates, childhood and school background, whether he has a criminal record or arrested for anything. Everything, even what he ate during his dinner meeting while he was negotiating with our unknown subject. You will find Matt in the lower grounds. The two of you will be there for a very long time. Make it good, Near."

Near headed to the door, pushed it open and then disappeared.

"L, what is going on?" I walked towards him. "Stop avoiding me and talk to me."

"We can't do this now, Francesca."

"What are you talking about?" I raised my voice. "I have every right to know what is being done in this investigation. L, Pablo is my brother. Why would you hide things like this to me?"

"Fran--"

"I am an agent under your supervision. I have every goddamn right to be into--"

"Francesca, listen to--"

"Do you think that I will just stand here and watch my family die?"

"Leonard Telesco has a wife and two stepdaughters."

I stopped and stared at him with his back facing me rigidly. I tried to sense what he was going through now but I have realized I know absolutely nothing about the man I promised my love for.

He finally glanced at me, eyes hollow as usual. "No, Francesca. I don't think I could gamble another family to be destroyed in the process."

I averted my gaze. He hesitated before walking to me. I could not bring myself to look at him. I was losing my balance so I grabbed the first thing I could hold onto. It was a sofa. I collapsed there awkwardly and tried to breathe. He looked down at me and said, "I would not let you get hurt."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Before you evaluated me, did you take the fact that my cousin is a suspect in a drug smuggling activity into consideration?"

He bit his thumb pensively. "Yes."

"When you were figuring out how to profile me and I approached you and flirted with you, were you reluctant to rule me qualified since my family is vulnerable to possible terrorist threat?"

"Yes." He was nibbling on his thumb now.

I closed my eyes. They feel really wet. "When I kissed you, when we talked about my life in college, when you said we are apart from the average people and when you shook my hand and gratified me through this theory of yours called mental orgasm," I took a long pause. "Was it ever possible that you were already measuring my endurance to pressure and my resistance to physical conflict?"

"Yes." L was no longer biting his thumb. He remained standing there before me and I knew from this position, I look so small, so easy to break and crush.

I looked at him steadily in the eye. "When I loved you more than I should, when I chose to drop the life I had to join you because you said you want me to be with you always, were you also implying that this is all a tactic of keeping your enemies close?"

"Young lady." He said softly but did not say anything else.

"Did you believe the possibility of my involvement? Did you perceive that I already figure out who you really are? Did your zealous profiling led you to the conclusion that the only way to find out if I can be trusted fully is to make me believe that I am an agent of your force?"

"We can't do this now, Francesca."

"I don't think you are done with your evaluation yet, detective." I crossed my legs and allowed a small chuckle. The tears are gone. "I think this is an assessment test and you haven't qualified me yet as a certified member. You need more proof that I would not betray you and look the other way."

He sighed. He glanced at Quillish slightly and then he rested his eyes on mine. "When we spend our lives disguising ourselves from others, we end up disguised to ourselves."

"Very poignant."

"It was for the greater good, Francesca." L reached out a hand. "Trust me."

I chuckled again and uncrossed my legs. "That is the type of trust we cannot afford around here."

I leaned closer. "Rest assured that I will pass your assessments. I am going to Saudi Arabia without Near since we obviously cannot waste time. I need to be on the field now, L. That is the only to see if I am fit for this line of work."

L put his hands together and applauded. "Excellent, Agent Luprecci. You really are a remarkable talent. I shall assign you now to work with Agent Misora regarding the same case. Near would still be your official commanding partner."

I stood up and adjusted myself. "Thank you for this opportunity."

We shook hands and we were back again from being strangers.

"He was a good friend to you, wasn't he?" I asked silently after we sat on the sofa. He kept his fingers on his knees and looked to his left, avoiding eye contact. Then he took a fork and played with the cake's icing.

"He was a good friend to me." He finally answered after he finished chewing on his cake. L took a yogurt from the corner and handed it to me. "It's healthy."

I took a spoon and scooped the warm, fluffy cream and placed it on my mouth and then gulped it. The aftertaste was finally bitter in the end but the stuff was pretty good. "This is very nice of you, L. I should buy many of these."

"I know you will like it. It's Yopalt Yogurt." L smiled. "I picked that up and guessed that you might like it. So I ordered a supply of it just hours ago."

"You did that without knowing if I would really agree on the taste?" I smiled at him.

"Yes, of course." L looked away. "Profiling and detection are my specialties."

"L," I placed down the yogurt on the table. "Whatever worst possible fuck up there is, I will stick with you."

"I never doubted that."

"I never doubted you too." I answered. "I was doubting the way you have to process me so cold-heartedly."

"You think I'm frozen inside?"

"You're right, that's Near. You are more like locked inside."

He chuckled the way he used to and stabbed a strawberry to eat it. "I did it for a good reason, young lady. I have been making choices that would either fix or destroy all the things around me. I need to be in control. With this line of work, you must never be defeated."

I nodded at that. I placed my hand on his knee and he looked at me with wide eyes peering curiously. He patted my head. He was actually patting my head. Now we moved from strangers to acquaintances.

"Well, you need to be preparing yourself with your case." L stood up. "Agent Misora wants you to be informed. She doesn't enjoy lectures so you better educate yourself with this."

He opened a drawer and handed me the case file. "Study it well. Consider it as a refresh course from your Social Studies subject."

"May I inquire the specific topic of this assignment?"

"Studying the mind of a professional hitman on the run. A certain organized individual who got paid with large amount of money by assassinating Leonard Telesco in a very creative fashion."

"Inner workings of the mind? Love it."

"By the way, Francesca." L raised a finger. "My last homework to the class, I was suddenly reminded. It's about writing an essay on the person you hate most. Who is your subject?"

"Does it bear anything on the investigation?"

"It's an interest point of this conversation."

"Well," I smiled. "You said that we spend our lives disguising ourselves from others that we become disguised to ourselves."

L waited for my answer. I looked at him with the same smile. "I hate the person I thought was me all along but turns out, she is a monster I created out of frustration and unjustifiable anger."

"You're angry?"

"Have always been." I chuckled and turned away, examining the first page of the case file. "It just doesn't show itself lucidly. But it's there, hiding, sharing my bed, eating in my table."

"Very poignant." L bit his index finger. "You are aware now of your worst enemy. The question is how you will be able to confront it."

I nodded. "I need a lot of time to study this."

"I would assume that it will take as much time as Near so the two of you will be on this mission again together once you are finished with your separate activities."

"Joy." I started reading while L sat beside me comfortably, eating anything edible and sweet in sight. I glanced once in a while at him and remembered the first time I sneaked glances at him when we were reading inside the janitor's closet. I also remembered that it was the first time I realized I was in love with him. And right now, this reminded me of it and from strangers shaking hands and acquaintances patting each other's head, we became lovers once more who share nothing but only the inner workings of our minds and the dangerous, unconfined turmoil inside the rivers of our hearts.

**If we all believe in kismet then we will meet each other again, dear reader. We shared a bond of literature and its wonderful lands of flowing imagination. Alas, we have to go on with our personal lives and someday we might find the time to connect in this way again. We will be waiting on the edge of everything and when we do possess the right moment, we will return to the place where all adventures began.**

**I was unable to continue my other story because this has been always my favorite so I chose this one because I could not bring myself leaving it without exalting it in its finest hour. So please be kind to me again and share your thoughts.**


	14. Lectures with Gummy bears and worms

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**The story is becoming appealing although I feel sad because I think most of my stories are underachieving since they don't get publicized more. I think it's because my summary has not enough keywords in them. There is the system hits, right? It's when you search with keywords and the story summaries that have the word you search appear. Okay, maybe I am just a little paranoid. It's just that I am leaving soon and I would really like to have readers who will introduce themselves and not just read my stories without the appropriate acknowledgement of them. I would really like it if you just don't add me in your favorites without introducing yourself to me or reviewing my works. I am leaving soon and I may not be able to update anymore. One of these days, it will just happen so let us all make the most of my presence. I live for writing for it is the oxygen of my life. I should really publicized myself from now on. I feel like, not to sound pompous, I must have more readers than the regular. I always make it to a point to talk to every reader who shares a review to me since I am a sucker for affirmation. I am really open to everybody, writer-to-reader, that is. I also treat anybody as friends. Shit, I have to stop moping and be grateful to have a tantalizing audience. BTW, I am cocky and we all know it.**

**I would like to thank and welcome kaitou angel, amwong88, Intertwined-Destiny17 and fanXforever.**** You guys just made my day by appearing here and sharing me your thoughts. Of course, I won't stop writing this but there are some things that are not in my control. My visits here in fanfiction might become once in a month or so. Bear with me. For now, let us again indulge the appetite for enigma.**

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**Lectures on Friendship with Gummy bears and worms**

If a man approaches you and hands you a heavy brown paper bag, your first reaction is to look inside. I did not do that. I just held it away from me and gave a disgusted expression. You should never look inside a bag that a stranger handed to you because it was never gonna be good. It might be a bomb or something, right? The man who handed me the brown paper bag was one of Special Agent Naomi Misora's men. I found her at last among the crowd of other men looking for something that is definitely not treasure to anybody. I looked around me and could only shake my head when I saw that this is a deserted forest area. The woods are thick and suffocating. I made a smug face and started walking to Naomi. She gave me a small nod and ordered the men to widen their perimeter. When I was a yard away from her, I held the brown paper bag and tried to beg her with my eyes to take it away from my possession. Naomi sensed it and giggled a little. It was a grim giggle because she knew nothing about this is amusing. She took the paper bag at last and handed it to Near. The boy looked inside and nothing registered in his face when he said, "Yup, that's a foot, all right."

"Thank you for informing about that I would be dealing with cadavers from now on."

"That is a very offensive remark to coroners, Luisa." Near answered me gently as he put on some gloves before taking the foot out of the paper bag. He placed it above a clean white sheet and started examining it.

"You could do that somewhere else private, you know." I looked away.

"How many of these have you found yet, Agent Misora?"

"About thirty." Naomi answered with a formal tone. "We found his liver, two of his kidneys, his ears, his eyeballs, hands, one leg and so forth. We still don't have his head though."

I closed my eyes. "Naomi, how long have you been searching?"

She looked at me and replied. "A week now. The first one we found is his ears and it was a positive DNA match."

"How about his penis?"

We both looked at Near. Naomi answered. "No sign of that too. We will keep looking."

I watched as Near put the severed foot inside the paper bag. He carried it around as if it's only grocery. We followed behind quietly when he started walking. We arrived just an hour ago after Near collected information about my brother and he would not share his findings with me. It was L who personally brought us here while piloting a helicopter. As we landed and were about to go down, I managed to kiss him goodbye and said, "Well, I really do have a pilot boyfriend after all."

L smiled and waved at us as he launched up the sky and flew away from us. I heard Near chuckle slightly. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Jealous, Near?"

"No," he said with a cold smile. "Just watching."

So after that we went to find Naomi. As I walked beside while we follow Near, she shared me the details of her investigations. "I arrived here about the same day you did. I kept an open connection with Agent Kroiger as well. I was surprised when I found out that the body was chopped up in pieces and we only have another week to find all of it."

"Why another week only?"

She looked at me sadly. "The Saudi Arabian government would not allow us to stay here any longer. L made a promise that we will leave in just one week, with or without Leonard's complete body."

"Do you know him?" I asked.

She let out a smile. "Not really but L really liked him. I guess I want to treat him the way L treated him even now that he is dead and brutally murdered. It's the least we could do for him."

"I read about the case file." I pointed out. "Leonard Telesco is an achiever with a lot of published books and articles. He had been an anthropologist for twenty-seven years now. How did L meet him?"

"Through Quillish." Naomi replied. "Leonard used to visit L when he was younger and they talk about geology and forensics. He always tells me whenever we just meet for casual visits that Leonard is a friend to him always. When he found out what happened, I don't think he could forgive himself."

"Anybody would react the same way." I looked down. "Do you have any leads on who might have murdered him?"

"So far no physical evidence on the killer which is odd. We cannot place anybody at the scene."

"According to your case file, you explained that Leonard Telesco went to his office that morning and did not have his lunch. Why didn't his secretary check on him?"

"We believe that she was murdered first." Naomi answered. "A one bullet to the head. Then the killer hid the body and waited for Leonard."

"He must have killed her the night before," I added. "And then when his target arrived, he must have made sure that he has all the time in the world. Are there any signs of torture in the body parts that you found?"

"What we could detect is his eyeballs were the first to be removed. We also found out that he was bound meticulously with some type of wire since there are marking on the wrists we found as well as the ankles of the first foot we found. Near was examining the marks on the other foot just now." Naomi explained. We entered the big tent and found Near sitting on the floor.

"Is there any reason why we are here?" I asked him.

"We need more men to search," Near answered. "I am now looking at the list of body parts that you found in a week. If my hypothesis is correct, we could find the rest in just three days."

"Three? Do you have something planned?" Naomi smiled at him.

Near twirled his silver hair and looked at us. "First we need to deal with a certain visitor who just arrived here after Leonard Telesco was murdered."

"Who may that be?"

Near lifted up a piece of paper. "Let's see...Nicoline Garboux."

Naomi wrote the name down and started to leave, "I will bring her for questioning. It would only take me an hour."

When she left, I looked at Near firmly. "What the hell are you up to?"

"I was wondering what your friend is up to as well," Near answered. "I could hardly believe that it is a coincidence that a young French girl decided to come over. Besides, I have surveillance that she visited Telesco's wife three days after he was supposedly murdered."

"What are you saying?" I tried to remain calm.

"She might know something although I would not eliminate her as a suspect until I interrogate her."

"Can I--"

"No, you may not." Near shook his head. "You could watch us however."

"Okay," I did not have the energy to protest. "What does she have to do with your being able to find the rest of the body in just three days?"

Near sighed. "I perform miracles myself. I am, after all, L's successor."

He did not entertain any of my questions after that. I decided to wait in the room he asked me to. It was on the side of the interrogation room where he would take my friend. I could hear and watch them from here. It has been almost a month since I saw her and I have no idea that she might now the Telesco family. Is it really that of a coincidence or there is something going on here that I wasn't exactly informed about my dear friend? I was worried and I couldn't hide it. I did not pace around or fidget. I normally show the signs of my anxiety by sitting completely still with hands clutching my knees and eyes downcast. It was only after twenty minutes when Naomi Misora opened the door and led Nicoline inside. I walked over to the glass and saw her there but she could not see me. She looked at the mirror in front of her and expected that she were being watched so she gave a small smile. I felt my chest ache slightly for no reason. Naomi left and I got to examine Nicoline closely. She was the same, as ever only now she wasn't wearing glasses. Her long brown hair was not in a ponytail. She looked like she was going to a business function: blue suit and neatly ironed white polo shirt, black skirt and brown stockings, black high heels. I could tell since she started to stand around, looking at nothing on the wall. Then she sat down again. Naomi was already behind me.

"I heard that she's a friend."

I nodded. Naomi placed a hand on shoulder. "If she is innocent, we will let her go."

"I don't care about that," I said indifferently. "I just want to know why she is here of all places."

"Do you think that she is capable of deception?"

I looked at Naomi steadily. "All of us are capable of deception. It depends on what type we are talking about here."

"The heaviest type of all, deceiving a friend."

I shook my head. "That I could not answer now."

We saw Near enter and Nicoline greeted him warmly. Near just nodded and sat on the opposite chair, his back turned away from us as he faced Nicoline. I push a button so I could hear them talk.

"What is your relationship with Ingrid Telesco?"

"My family sells her jewelry for two years now." Nicoline answered. "If you like me to pull out her file, I could easily do that."

"Did she recently buy something from you?"

"Not exactly," Nicoline replied. "She asked me to personally polish her late husband's wedding band."

"Did you know Leonard Telesco?"

"I never met him." Nicoline smiled blankly. "I heard he was a wonderful man. Many people grieve after what happened to him."

"Do you know the circumstances of his death?" Near stood up and kept twisting a strand of silver hair in his finger.

"No," she said. "I just came here yesterday. I did not have the time to watch the news. Do I need to know?"

"We are having a search party for his missing body parts."

"Oh, he was chopped to death then?" Nicoline was too calm. Near sensed that easily and he was now preparing to circle the prey.

"You did not know him personally but how come you were inquiring about him?"

Nicoline said nothing in her defense so Near continued. "Furthermore, you were the one who delivered an anonymous call about where his liver is a week ago so you have been around here for a very long time. You left and came back yesterday. Why, Miss Garboux?"

Nicoline examined her nails. "Well, I certainly did deliver a phone call."

"Why, Miss Garboux?"

"I was also looking for Telesco's remains, sir."

"Why, Miss Garboux?"

Nicoline looked at Near. "I was assigned to."

"By who?" Near suddenly smiled as if he knew something else.

Nicoline looked directly at the mirror. "I was assigned by L to go to Saudi Arabia to secure a journal of Leonard Telesco and bring it to him. Instead, I told him that Leonard Telesco is murdered and that the journal is missing."

"Are we to believe that the journal is the reason why Telesco was murdered?"

"He was tortured horribly, sir. They wanted something else. They didn't get it so they took the journal instead, hoping it may lead to the thing they are looking for." Nicoline spoke in an impassive way.

"May I see your ID, Miss Garboux?"

"It's Special Agent Eva Jorgue, French intelligence, sir." Nicoline answered as she handed her ID so Near could look at it.

"You were evaluated by Agent Penbar, am I correct?" Near asked.

"Yes, he is my partner." Nicoline smiled politely. "It was L who assessed me."

"Ray is so dead for this," Naomi scoffed as she crossed her arms together. "I am personally going to nail his ass for not telling me that another adolescent agent is interfering with my case."

"You should tell L about this," I answered her, not taking my eyes off Nicoline. "Adolescent agent? You don't like me?"

"Her order is only to secure the journal not help finding the bodies." Naomi replied. "And no, I do like you and Agent Jorgue as well but not her partner."

"She did leave an anonymous call, Naomi so it is obvious she doesn't want to meddle in any territory." I pointed out.

"So I will have the both of you here now, right?" Naomi was a little angry. "So this is what Near meant when he said we could find the rest of the body in only three days."

"You were supposed to be celebrating." I answered.

"Well, I don't like Ray Penbar." Naomi scoffed again. "I don't like him around me."

I grinned at her. "Lovers' quarrel?"

"Shut up, Luisa." Naomi raised an eyebrow. "You don't seem to have a problem with this."

"She is meant for this force too," I replied. "I knew L would want her in the force."

Naomi sighed. "You trust people easily, Luisa."

I laughed. "Actually, I don't. I'm just comfortable now with the fact that everybody lies and nobody can be trusted now all I have to do is deal with it with pride."

Near left and went to the opposite room with us. He looked at me and said. "I am very sorry you have to know it in this way. Both of you, I mean. I know that Ray Penbar has an issue with you, Naomi."

"Hell yes," Naomi put her hands on her waist. "Do not expect me to be nice with him. We are not colleagues."

"That is some show you put in there, Near." I said when Naomi came storming out of the room, shouting to 'prepare the rat hole, somebody is sleeping there tonight and he is an arrogant ass.' I have to meet this Ray Penbar.

"Thank you, I hope you like it." Near just smiled creepily again. "Do you wish to speak with her, Luisa?"

"I am all atwitter." I left him to confront to Nicoline. I opened the door and greeted her, "Good afternoon, Agent Jorgue. Killer legs, by the way."

She rolled her eyes. "You never changed your lesbian ways, Francesca."

I laughed and hugged her. She hugged me back. We held onto each other longer than expected. When we managed to pull away, I teased. "French intelligence. Gosh, you are finally going to get laid for that title."

"France is filled with gorgeous men, Cheska, if I want to get laid, I have been already when I was fourteen."

"You really needed to stop whining like a Catholic summer girl." I sat on the table. "So L assessed you too, huh?"

"It was only like yesterday when we are in class and he is being omniscient." Nicoline smiled dreamily then she made a smug face. "Although I will kill him if he wants me to start writing on the white board again with the word 'strawberry' as my cue."

We laughed. She looked at me sweetly. "So how are things between the two of you?"

"Pain in the ass," I complained. "We could never have sex at all."

Her smug face was back. "Put an ice on it, Cheska."

"What's with the new look, by the way?" I inquired. "You are dressed to kill now. Where do I buy your wardrobe?"

"You look nice." She said, looking at me thoroughly. "Did you even comb your hair?"

"I also gained two pounds." I added. "And I discover I have a taste for redheads."

"Speaking of which." Nicoline pulled out something. "Remember how we used to enjoy candy corner so much? I brought gummy bears and worms."

"My favorite." I took a worm and held it up as I placed it in my mouth. "I always imagined being a fish and have one of these as bait used by fishermen so they could catch me. Once I bite on its juicy body, the hook attaches itself in my mouth and I get pulled out from the sea, feeling the air leave my gills while I'm desperately wanting freedom I will never have again."

Short pause. "Did I just say that out loud?"

"You could at least say you just love gummy worms, you know." She shook her head good-humoredly. "I miss this."

"Watching me pig out or watching me bitching?" I took another worm and ate it in the same fashion.

"Both," she smiled as she consumed a gummy bear and then she took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad we are working together now. Let's have dinner tonight."

"Okay," I smiled back and held her hand tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I gave her my own smug face and then stood up to get away from her. "Is that why you want to take me to dinner? You're unbelievable!"

I turned around and said. "Don't watch my ass while I leave."

Nicoline giggled as I closed the door behind me. After feeding my ego and sexuality like she always do through having me personally attack hers, I gave a sigh of relief and just stood there outside the door. Near was already there, playing with a violet game boy. He said. "Matt said I could borrow this in case I get bored with people."

"Good for you, playing with toys again instead of people."

We both looked up when we saw Naomi being followed around by a handsome young man with blue eyes. She kept her arms crossed as the guy chased after her.

"Let me guess, Ray Penbar." I said to Naomi when she brushed passed me.

Naomi just scoffed and the man said, "Oh come on, Nawi, you know I am just looking for the right timing to tell you. You know how I work."

"Hey, Ray." I grinned at him when he passed by me.

"Hey back but I don't you."

"Luisa!" I called out when he was far.

"Nice to meet you!" he answered back from afar as he continued following Naomi.

I looked at Near who was now playing again with the game boy. "I think they are going to get married someday."

"Yeah," Near answered, his game boy making bomb noises as he pushed the buttons. "When crabs will learn to fly a helicopter as good as L, they will get married without a question."

"That is possible."

"Like becoming a fish and eating gummy worms, huh?"

"Yeah, like eavesdropping is the same as peeping tom, Near."

**Well, Ray Penbar is introduced. There will be more of them. I hope that all of you could still remember Nicoline Garboux. I really like her. Do you? Thank you for all the meaningful reviews. When I get depressed, I just read them and I happy again. I know it sounds odd but I live for writing and affirmation.**


	15. Lectures with cashew nuts and chocolate

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**I love Nicoline Garboux. I think she is my favorite OC here. There is a certain amount of inadequacy in her that just keeps appealing to me. Yes, she is a conventional, snobbish and critical girl but I think she balances Francesca's into-the-moment sensuality. Are you guys interested to know about why I am high today? I think I inhaled chalk dust and I love the way it attaches its particles in my mucus. You didn't have to know that, of course. Just ignore me and proceed. But before that, have you ever tried mixing alcohol and glucose? How do I become concrete about this? Okay, have you ever tried eating a whole dozen of doughnuts while drinking vodka? It will take you two hours. And then after doing that, I find myself here in front of computer, writing another chapter. Then without knowing it, I keep going on that I don't even know if this story makes sense. Please warn me if it starts to get crappy. My god, how do you all endure me? How do you all afford to read this without being annoyed with my constant babbling or do you just skip this and proceed to the story? That is fine with me. Not like I care if no one loves me anymore. So I will say things and pretend that you could all understand me. Scissors, folder, electric fan, blouse, hair, cement block, piano wire, shoe, dog leash, pepper, dishwasher, floor wax, pencil, tree branch, crucifix, election, canary bird, manhole, saliva, Paris Hilton the socialite whore, Christmas lights, trash can, nail polish, elevator, sports drink, clock, peanuts...oh, that's a good food reference…**

_**Note to self: Garlic peelings is not a good combination with French Fries. It is not crispy. It is sour and disgusting. Must not eat them together again. **_

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**Lectures on matchmaking with cashew nuts soaked in chocolate syrup **_(don't ask_

_me how it tastes like. I am drunk. I can't even feel my bladder and it's not chocolate bar with nuts, goddammit!)_

If there were one thing everybody is good at in this company of spies, it would be games. Near is the toy maker who makes fools out of self-respecting individuals. One specific incident happen during the time I was sitting beside him in the private aircraft being flown by no other than the kind Quillish. Given my seat location, I was engulfed with the inability to distract myself from the obvious evil presence beside me and yes, it's Near. He was not watching me but rather focusing his whole attention to Naomi Misora and Ray Penbar who sat on the far corner of the coach. I was forced to observe them since Nicoline is taking a nap and when she takes a nap, she sleeps for five hours minus three to make it the normal span of sleep for any human being. Her inclination to sleep for five hours while she calls it a nap is beyond absurd. So I busied myself with the two older agents. Their conversation is a series of repetitive anecdotes of back and forth throwing of insults and apologies.

"Nawi."

"Do not call me that. We are not in middle school anymore."

"I'm really sorry."

"You are so full of it. Don't talk to me." Naomi raised the case file she was reading.

"I was just asking if you want a cracker."

"Which you intentionally scattered on my skirt."

"It was an accident."

"Didn't look like that at all to me."

Ray made a childish pouting face while Naomi kept ignoring him. Then he looked at both of us and Near and I gave him an encouraging smile. He returned it as he took a bite from his cracker. He tried to talk to Naomi again. "Is that the full report on Leonard Telesco's remains?"

"Yup." Naomi replied in her most inanimate voice.

"It's a good call that Near suggested that we should all look for the body parts or we may never get to wrap the whole thing."

"Ray, we still haven't found the assassin."

"We'll get there." Ray cleared his throat. "So are you still seeing Charles?"

Naomi shot him a vicious death glare. I turned to Near and said, "Who's--"

He cut me off. "He works in the East Indies right, also an agent for eight years now. Met him in several occasions."

I whispered to Near as Naomi argued with Ray loudly. "Does Ray and Naomi have a history before? You know, the romantic sort?"

"Perhaps," Near shrugged his shoulders as he watched the couple. Naomi pushed the box of crackers to the floor and made Ray pick them all up.

Naomi scoffed and kept reading her file. Ray wondered what else he could say to get Naomi's attention. Seeing that it is waste of time and effort, he sat apart from her and began to sulk. I tried not to laugh since Ray Penbar made a strong impression on me. I see him as a very confident man. He has an air of authority with him but a girl like Naomi still manages to make him look like an idiot. It was fascinating and I can't believe Nicoline is missing this.

"Let's play a game, Luisa." Near spoke beside me. I rolled my eyes and said nothing.

"I can see that you believe Ray has a chance with Naomi."

I looked at him at last. "Why not? They look cute together."

"Yes, if the definition of cute would be applied to rambling coyotes, they are."

"Oh, they're just trying to hide the fact that they both like each other since it is an appropriate time right now."

Near smiled at that. "Inappropriate to have a love affair? I don't think that is an inquiry you are in a position to state."

"You are also not in the position since you are being a cocky rug rat." I looked away from him.

Near sighed. "Do you not like me, Luisa?"

"Glad to see we are stating the obvious now." I looked back at him and saw him blink as if he was confused.

"Do wish me to be honest with you?" he asked.

"As if that's not obvious." I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms.

"You and L make a fantastic couple." Near gave a shy smile I never thought he is capable of displaying. "L is a brave, intuitive and exuberant man with a lot of future and success going for him. You are a lady of strong perseverance and snappy wit. The both of you see each other eye to eye and when you tend to disagree, you never compromise what you have. I think that is what brings you close."

I blushed at that and tried to hide it. I managed a "thank you."

Near nodded as he twisted a strand of silver hair. "It's just unfortunate though that despite those reasons, you will only end up with me in the end."

I made a smug face. "Your cockiness, wow. It's oozing."

"You can say what you want to say, Luisa." Near averted his gaze. "You know now how I feel about L."

I sighed and tried to reach into that frozen mind of his. "I see."

"That doesn't mean I would not try to make you mine." Near grinned his sadistic smile. I just couldn't help but adore him sometimes. It is not the same feeling with L but it is a feeling I couldn't shake off. There is always something so perpetually sad about those eyes and the constant twisting of his hair as if it shows him a sense of private comfort. I smiled gently and said nothing more.

"I still want to play a game if you want to know what it is."

I was too absorbed to respond so I let him go on. "Why don't we bet on Naomi and Ray's relationship?"

It sparked my interest. "And what would we both get in return?"

"You shall have the opportunity to negotiate what you want first."

I tapped my finger on my chin. "Let's see...if Naomi and Ray ended up being lovers, you would pay me by giving up your courtship."

"That is hardly fair," Near knit his eyebrows together in contrition. "If that is the case, I will ask for your hand in marriage when I win the bargain. And I must warn you that I never lose."

"My hand in marriage?" I did not like that. "Near, even you would not go that far."

"Then change your retribution."

"How about you give up playing with any kind of toy for a week?" I smiled widely.

Near's eyes rounded slightly. "Very cruel punishment but I will take it."

"Now what do you want to get from this in return?" I feel something-creepy crawl inside my skin as I listened.

"I want you to kiss me the way you kiss L for a week."

I did not know if I would laugh or get angry at such ridiculous proposition although if you examine it, it's fair. Near likes toys and I am taking away his freedom if I did not make him play with them. He knows I could only love L and kissing him for a week is just as heavy and cruel as the punishment I gave him. It requires sacrifice and that, my friends, is how Near could make fools out of self-respecting individuals.

"Deal," I finally agreed. "No cheating. Let Naomi and Ray decide it for themselves. No sneaky deceit, Near."

He smiled and turned away from me. I know that you all think that I should forfeit but I am proud and cocky too so failure comes with giving up and giving up comes with failure. I certainly would not let Near beat me. I am tired of his thick, penetrating ways to possess me. This would be the best time to call his bluff. I am still unsure however if I have the guts to fight him in the same manner he will try to defeat me. Near is a strong opponent. He has that certain edge in him and you know that one flaw from your side would cause a colossal attack from his side. I should be alert from now. I have to play it dirty if he starts playing dirty. Sincerest apologies to Naomi and Ray but this game could not be over too soon.

After that flight (we have been flying around too much, I think being elevated a thousand feet from earth makes me air-sick) we landed in Morocco. L instructed us to meet Special Agent Leixa Kroiger so we could gather more theories and evidences and try to come up with a whole new perspective on this really confusing state of affairs. I swear that my head is filled with many anxious events that I think I might just start to puke. I decided to relax and take it like a big girl. No need to be a darn sissy now. This is part of L's assessment test and I need to pass it because I do have something to prove. I am too caught up with the whole thing. My family might be in great danger, my best friend is here and I dedicate myself to L's disposal. I could not just walk away now. It's time to finish this one way or another.

Leixa greeted us with a tight and firm grasp of hand. She was a very attractive woman. Her blonde hair was crisp and would not be referred to as soft and shiny. It is still pleasant to look at though. When I sat opposite her, I timidly asked. "Has anybody told you that you look like Mila Jovovich?"

She grinned at that. Nice set of white pearls. "Yeah, that bitch stole my hairstyle many times. Do you guys want anything to drink?"

"We need to get down to business as swift as we could, Agent Kroiger," Naomi said firmly. "I want every detail in the drug smuggling operation."

Leixa gave a slight not and pointed a thumb behind her. "You see those barricades? We took the supply of drugs there. We got all types of narc, coke etc and man, they are all pure and meticulously cooked."

"Have you found the meth lab?" Ray asked.

"We held a lot of storage buildings and laboratories to keep tabs on the greaseballs. We monitored and search all corners of the cities and nada. It's a dead end."

"Is there any possibility that there could be more drugs out there."

"I know you did not just imply that I am bad at my job, baby blue eyes," Leixa chugged a mouthful of beer. "But yes, I have considered that possibility now But I also had any means of transportation banned. You don't know how many angry activists I got trying kick my ass out of this hellhole. They said that the government is screwing with them. Well, I say, fools, your government is trying to save you bony tushies so stop whining about your rights."

"People are hardly cooperative," Nicoline remarked.

"I have been sitting here and looking for needle in a pack of needles." Leixa added.  
"I have no idea how the hell they manage to deliver and export drugs in this place. I found seven-hundred and eighty-nine kilos of coke alone. You can snort, smoke and inject it."

"The situation is bleak." Ray rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "We cannot let this go on."

"That is why you enter in the picture!" Leixa chuckled a little as she finished her drink. "There is another development in the investigation."

"What is it?" I asked her.

She regarded me with a solemn gaze. "I recently discovered that they are using young girls as mules."

The whole table where we all sat fell silent.

"When did this happen?" Naomi inquired.

"A couple of days ago, onlookers found a girl lying dead in the street." Leixa explained. "They brought her to the nearest possible health care in the district. When the doctors examined her, they found this in her stomach."

Leixa handed us some photographs. I tried not to wince as I browsed through them. Near was taking each detail without any sign that he might care of anything else but details and pieces. I looked at Nicoline and saw that she was pale but her fingers remained steady.

Naomi threw away the pictures at the table and crossed her arms together. "Are there any more of these girls?"

"Unfortunately." Leixa answered gravely. "We found out they were from India and they all came here to work. Their ages range from eleven to sixteen. I stopped the crew that drops them here just yesterday and I questioned each crewmember and they said a group of men brought them. They paid for the whole travel and the crew never really got anything on the men. They were cloaked and spoke a little to them."

She rested her cheek on one hand. "So I decided to pay them up the next time another set of children were brought. I don't have any leads yet since the group of mysterious men stopped delivering kiddies. It makes me think that they know I finally discovered them."

"Quite the mission you have," Near remarked.

"Oh, tell me about it!" Leixa yawned. "I am always this close to getting them. The drugs here are raining. One gallon of coke is like sand in Egypt. They don't run out. I know they are still out there. We only got two benefactors, the one Mendez had told us about." she turned slightly to me. "Wanna see your cousin?"

I nodded. "I really have a lot of things to tell him."

"Yeah, you might make him ashamed of himself. That's what family does. The guy thinks he is so tough. Good thing for him that L does not allow me obtain information the German way." Leixa looked at Naomi. "Bad day for you too, huh, Naomi?"

"Following decomposing severed body parts is just what I live and breathe for." Naomi also let out a yawn. "You know I really don't get what and who we are dealing with here."

"A very unique and organized pack of killers." Ray remarked. "They won't stop until we catch them."

"Can anybody say terrorism?" Leixa's accent is thick and melodic. "The Soviet Union is an annoying pain in the ass these days. They won't cooperate. Everybody is everybody's enemy. I am telling you trust is bullshit among everybody and everybody has fingers pointing at the Arab man. One race is subjected to discrimination every year. Now when papa and mama scare you they won't say a black man would harm you, baby, they would say, an Arab man will kidnap and make you explode, baby. Be careful."

"That is a little pessimistic." Nicoline frowned. Leixa grinned at her. "Mademoiselle, genocide don't happen by coincidence. Jihad don't end easily. Wiping an ethic culture is what my race is knowledgeable about. It is a New World order now. But we still fuck around each other like children wanting to be on top. Nuclear weapons in North Korea. We would look at each other and say let's blow them up, they might have been hiding Bin Laden among them Asians."

"What's your point, Agent Kroiger?" Nicoline gave her a stern look.

"My point, Mademoiselle, is absolute trust is bullshit now," she looked at each one of us. "We are comrades and enemies. None can be trusted. L knows that. Why won't you be aware of that?"

"Some of us would like to think nobody is betraying us." Naomi looked at Leixa fiercely. The other agent just laughed.

"Do not worry like a fidgeting Madeleine as Agent Jorgue here, Naomi." The way she pronounced the name is _Na-yomi_ not _Nayo-mi_. "We still are friends, eh?"

I met her eyes and she looked at me sadly. "You know, Luisa, this might be one hell of a mission that would slowly kill us all. It will puncture us in the heart like we are mystical beasts needed to die."

Nobody spoke so she continued. "We are in dangerous waters now. There will be more of us but who knows what will happen if we jus look at the other way."

"Interesting line of thinking, Agent Kroiger." Near remarked with a little smile in his lips. "I'm here to discuss to you about pairing up. L has asked me to do this. Naomi Misora, your partner hasn't arrived yet. Luisa Luprecci is my partner. Ray Penbar and Eva Jorgue are partners. Leixa, I would like you to meet your partner."

Quillish walked from behind all of us. We looked at him to see what was up. He smiled kindly at us as he walked beside a teenage boy, closer to my age perhaps. He has blond hair that reaches his chin and penetrating sapphire eyes. He has a stern, morbid expression all throughout. He wore a red sweater with the hem made of wool. He looked at Leixa steadily. She said something in German and looked really delighted.

"Luisa, Eva, this is one L's second successor, his name is Mello."

"You got some nerve bringing me here, Near." Mello did not seem very pleased at all. He was wearing a tight-fitting black shirt and there is a red rosary around his neck. He is a very handsome boy although like Near, he comes with the same trademark package of deadly, sharp and cocky.

"I take him!" Leixa gleefully said. Mello just scoffed at her.

Naomi and Ray are strangely quiet which means they are either too afraid to talk to Mello or they both are intimidated of him and would not like to have anything to do with him for now. I decided to start the small chat. "Where are you from, Mello?"

He eyed me. "Is this L's bimbo?"

"Yes, indeed." Near answered for me.

Mello smirked. Okay, the boy has one cocky smirk. Near has the sadistic smile so his counterpart also has a trademark smile, right? It's bound to happen. It is part of the child genius protégé package.

"Francesca," he pronounced my name like he did not really like the way it sounded in his tonsils. "I hope you could handle the job."

"Espionage is not that difficult when you put your mind in it."

"I mean being L's bimbo." Mello turned his gaze to Nicoline. He said nothing but kept looking at her. Nicoline lowered her gaze to the ground.

He walked passed Naomi and Ray who did not even look at him. I can see that they really don't enjoy him around and Mello is not exactly a crowd-pleaser. He is like a warning sign for cigarettes is bad for your health, the yellow thing sign in high voltage areas and big street signs that warn you not to jaywalk or hit the gas when it is the red light. You know, the warning labels. He is just like that. You would not want to break a rule when he is around.

He shook hands with Leixa who shook back with her strong fingers. Then Mello met Near's eyes. I could sense a strong sibling rivalry between the two. He just smirked and left with Quillish, not even bothering to say a good night. We retired to our rooms that night. Nicoline was asleep again, even after five hours she went in advance on slumber. I could barely close my eyelids for five minutes. I do not want to wake her since I am such a good friend, so I decided to amuse myself by lighting matchsticks outside our room. I sat there on the floor, watching the fire in each stick. I was either a night pyromaniac or just really bored. When I finally run out of matchstick, I decided that it's time to find a new hobby. I crept pass the other rooms in search for something that will amuse me. When I pass the stairs, I noticed a figure there. I looked and saw that it was Mello. A cold gush of wind blew right through me. I can hear him breathe and can feel his eyes on me but he did not say a word. I was not to become terrified for this so I said, "Can't sleep?"

"Yah, you?"

"Just want morning to come fast." I looked outside the windows. "It's incredibly dark here."

"I don't like the dark too."

"Funny that you mention that since you are in the darkest corner of this place."

"There are a lot of dark corners."

_Ooooookay… vague much? _"Yeah, I am totally with you on that, Mel."

"It's Mello."

"Right." This was the most awkward conversation I have since L talked to me about my excessive use of eyeliner. With that thought it mind, I suddenly blurted out. "Do you think I look like a panda?"

"Is this your way to engage me in a meaningful talk?"

"Apparently it refuses to work," I clenched my teeth and said in a voice I could only hear. "Since some people are downright atrocious."

He stood up and approached me silently. When was close enough that I could hear his heartbeat, I stepped away instinctively. He chuckled low and said. "You must hate him too, right?"

"Huh?"

"Near," Mello said. "You must hate him an awful lot. I know he is making moves on you. It's not flattering to you, isn't it?"

"You can tell?"

"Anything at all, Francesca, anything at all I could do to help you kick him off," Mello was suddenly attempting to be nice. "I will do it."

I started to relax. He is another kid after all like Near. Their kind don't bite you when you they can't smell fear. "Listen, we have a game right now."

"Oh?" Mello sounded eager.

"We are betting on Naomi and Ray," I explained. "I want them to end up being lovers and Near disagrees. If I win, he won't get to play his toys for a week."

"It's like asking a drug addict not to take drugs." Nice analogy for Mello.

"If I lose, I'm gonna have to kiss him like how I kiss L for a week."

"Yuck." Empathetic Mello.

I remained silent after that, not sure how else I could make this conversation less awkward. He said. "Can I join you?"

"What possible help--"

"I told you, anything at all, I will do it."

I blinked. "You hate him that much?"

I can see some sort of flame inside his eyes even when we are right in the middle of darkness. "Like brisket."

I paused before I replied. "I like brisket."

"Me too." There was a hint of a small smile. I finally relaxed.

"Do you want to go somewhere else, maybe look for anything in the grass, like an insect and then we, I don't know, dissect it?"

He smiled. "Okay, sounds good."

"Really? You enjoy torturing insects too? We should totally hang out again." We started walking to the garden.

The next morning proved to be quite promising. Since Mello and I stayed up all night, studying about the anatomy of a frog (okay, the grasshopper got away because the frog ate it so…) I ended up making breakfast for everyone. Mello and I were having a conversation about the resemblance of a tadpole to a sperm cell when Nicoline made her way to the kitchen. When she saw me and Mello laughing together, she looked behind her as if she entered another dimension and she wanted out. Mello looked at her but his expression was not menacing anymore. He even greeted her a good morning. Nicoline sat across him from the table and grabbed a bread in the corner. Mello offered to fix her coffee. She did not refuse, either still in shock that the lion is tamed or she just doesn't want to refuse him at all with anything from now on.

Leixa appeared next. When she saw Mello handing Nicoline a cup of coffee, she demanded the same thing. Mello did it without any complaints.

"Somebody got a good dosage of happy pills." Leixa teased. "Did you do him, Luisa? Ah, I know it. You naughty girl."

"You have such an imagination, Leixa." I giggled as I placed the eggs and bacons on the table. Mello helped with the plates.

"From where I come from, bad boys could only be tamed by sex," Leixa pointed out, sipping her coffee. "And lessons about Nietzche."

"Hitler would be proud." I smiled at that. "I wonder where Ray and Naomi are."

Mello smiled too. "I should go wake Near."

I called out as he started walking to Near's room. "Remember, dear, don't murder him today. We still need him!"

Leixa and Nicoline exchanged glances, shrugged their shoulders and just sipped their coffee quietly. Ray walked inside with a posture of a military man. He greeted us and sat on the end of the table. He grabbed a newspaper from the corner.

Near and Mello arrived next. I looked at them as they walked side by side together. They really are polar opposites. I kept my thoughts to myself as I made Ray's coffee. I asked Near what he wants and he said milk would be nice. Spoken like a true twelve-year-old. He is still sleepy and I could tell he might have played with his toys even if it is past bedtime. Acted like a true twelve-year old.

As we were almost finished eating, Naomi finally appeared.

"Naomi," Leixa regarded her with a smile. "Do you even know what day it is, darling?"

"I hardly slept last night," Naomi rubbed her eyes.

"Do you want me to cook for you?" I asked.

"No, I will just have this bread."

"I will make coffee for that." Mello smiled at her. Naomi looked at Mello as though he peed on the floor. Then Ray said, "Yup, he's been like that since I came here."

He placed the newspaper neatly on the table, showing us a page. "Look at this article. It's the official report on Leonard Telesco's murder."

Nicoline run her eyes through the paragraphs. "It is not as graphic as in real form."

"The old man needs to be delivered to heaven peacefully," Leixa stood up. "I am gonna go pray a Hebrew prayer taught to me when I was a little girl."

We all looked at her and said together. "You're Jewish?"

"Yes," Leixa chuckled. "See, what I told you? Trust is bullshit. You still have hangovers with the World War II. Don't forget, Anne Frank is Jewish."

She walked out of the kitchen. We all just shrugged our shoulders and drifted into another conversation. Ray said to Naomi. "Are you sick?"

She shook her head lazily. "Just not feeling energetic for today."

Mello and I looked at each other. I said to Naomi. "Why don't you let Ray take care of you? He obviously wanted to do that."

Naomi looked at me with a smug expression. "You're kidding with me, right?"

"We still have an activity at hand," Near finally spoke. "Agent Misora will be accompanied by Agent Jorgue."

"But I am partners with Eva, Near." Ray said.

"You will be doing solo," Near said and that was final.

I looked at Mello again. Mello said. "Why don't I take Eva would me and Leixa. Ray could go with Naomi. They have known each other for so long."

"This is espionage work not the nursing station." Near just replied languidly.

"Do you have a crush on Eva now, Mello?" Leixa suddenly walked back inside the room. "I warn you. I get jealous easily."

Naomi coughed. "I am going to take a shower."

When she left, Ray sighed and stood up as well. "I'm going for a walk."

When the two left, there was a very long period of silence. Nicoline looked at us one by one. Leixa said to us. "I know what you are planning. Very naughty."

I smiled. "Well, you could join in the fun if you must. Mello and I are on the same team now."

"Bonnie and Clyde, eh?" Leixa looked at Near. "I could tell you are probably against romance in work. I certainly am."

"Then we are a team." Near said.

"Okay, what is going on?" Nicoline gave us all a questioning glance. No one bothered to answer her. Leixa walked out to follow Ray. Near went to his room to play with his choo-choo train. Mello said he has something to talk about with Quillish. I was left with Nicoline. She helped me wash the dishes.

"What was that all about?"

"You can just watch us," I winked at her. "After all, absolute trust is bullshit."

"Do you want to talk about another thing that doesn't involve backstabbing and sadism?" Nicoline wiped the plates dry.

"We could talk about L," I said to her. "It has been almost a week since I last saw him. We never really get to actually talk."

"You miss him?"

I stopped what I was doing. "It would only be a matter of time until we fall apart."

"Don't say that."

"Distance makes the relationship fonder, it's just that." I sighed. "I don't know if I could trust him. A part of me wants to but if you look at it practically…you always say romance is a messy business. What would be your advice?"

"As a non-believer? Drop it." Then she smiled and patted my hand. "As your friend, don't give up. Trust is very hard to give and receive. It takes a lot of work. You have gone so far to have what the two of you have together."

"What do we have together?" I asked her. "You know, it was easy when we are always around each other. We are purely combustible. The long talks, the cuddling and all the passion we have for each other are just things that make me hold on. Now we hardly say a word to each other and add national crisis and global terrorism to the picture, it's your perfect blockbuster movie. Intrigue and romance, the story of our lives."

"Cheska, look at me." She cupped my chin to meet my gaze. "This is the very first time I met somebody like L who could tolerate your bitching ass."

I laughed. She added. "You wouldn't want to lose somebody who could finally lift up your covers, wants to be crazy and abnormal with you because I tell you, no other man would like to be gross with you."

"What are you saying?"

Nicoline smiled gently. "Remember when we were younger, we use to eat ice cream together?"

"Yeah." I wondered why she brought that up.

"Ofelia would bring us to the ice cream shop and you would choose for a very long time among a dozen flavors." She explained. "You ended up not choosing at all. You started crying and Pablo has to bring you home. Do you remember what I choose every time we go there?"

"Strawberry ice cream." I smiled.

"It's always the same thing I want." Nicoline took both of my hands and squeezed it. "I figured…if I love it that much, I wouldn't have to question it."

"That was inspiring." I wiped fake tears. "You have a way with words."

"Stop being such a tough bitch and call him."

"I can't just do that out of the blue!"

"Well then, use Mello as a reason."

I thought about that. Then I kissed her on the cheek and quickly run outside to look for Quillish. I found him with Mello in the shed next to the condo we are living in. He greeted me a pleasant morning and saw that I have something important to tell him. Mello sensed that too so he excused himself. When the two of us were finally left alone, I was unable to say anything to him for a minute until he said something to me first, "You look really tired, Francesca."

I smiled at that. "Gee, thanks for noticing."

"Is everything all right with you?"

"Actually," I hesitated as I crossed my arms. "I'm not really sure. Is it okay if I, uh, talk to L?"

He smiled. "You know, I will let you in a little secret." He led me to a room that looks like some sort of a basement. "Whenever I am with him and I watch him eat his meal, I know that he is thinking about you a lot."

"Oh," I glowed silently at that. I watch Quillish pressed keys on the computer positioned in the table. Then the monitor changed and a gothic letter "L" appeared. I waited patiently then I heard a voice coming from the speakers. It was a computerized voice. "What is it?"

Quillish put his hands on my shoulders and led me closer to the computer. "Is that you, L? It's me."

A short pause. "How can I help you?"

I sighed. That was too formal of him. "I just want to talk to you."

I heard Quillish leave us and he shut the door behind him. I started gathering my thoughts. "So what are you doing right now?"

"I am preparing a funeral for my friend," he said. "Good job on finding the body…all of it, I mean."

"L, could you turn off that voice changer for a moment?"

"Okay," he turned it off. The sound of his voice was like cool splash of water in the desert. "What do you want to talk about, Francesca?"

"I really wish I am there with you right now," I started to be sincere. I don't know if this would be the last time that I will ever have the chance to talk to him. "I've been thinking about us. I just wish that you still feel the same way you felt about me."

"Of course." There was nothing in his voice.

"So, uh, you must be really sad about your friend's death."

"It has nothing to do with you."

Silence.

"That came out wrong," he said apologetically. "I know I see a little out of reach right now. What I am trying to say is that I don't want you to get bothered about my friend's death. You should concentrate in the task at hand."

"Yeah, I know." I took a step forward. "Okay, I know this sounds corny and I know we both don't like to go to that but I just wish that things didn't change between us."

"I've already told you," he said. "We truly love someone once in our life span."

"What if this is not love at all?"

I finally said it out loud. All those times I thought that I am making a big mistake and although I have comforted myself with the fact that I would stay with him no matter what, I just need to be sure. I could not jump a cliff without having somebody down there to catch me.

"Francesca," he said softly now. "I don't want to lose you."

"You still have me." I was choking out the words. The tears are harder to control now. "You could still have me and you could always have me anytime you want."

"I know," he said slowly. "I'm sorry I am hurting you."

"No, it's not that."

"Don't cry."

I looked up at the symbol imprinted in the screen. The single letter in my life. "Why do you say I'm crying?"

"I just know." L said in frail whisper. He took a deep breath. "Please don't cry."

"I have a brand new reasons to love you." I said. "I have been thinking about them every night since I have been away from you."

"Okay."

"I love you, L Lawliet. I love your hair. I love your eyes. I love your diabetic cravings. I love your intelligence. I love the way you get a hard-on. I love our mental orgasms. I love the way you smile rarely. I love the way you lie to me and play around with me just to see if I could take it. I love the ways you test your trust for me. I love the way we are apart and realizing we need each other. I love the way you are unable to put on words how you feel about me. I love the way your voice would stop me from worrying. I love the way it feels when you look into me without ever feeling disgusted. I love the way I don't have to be anything else extraordinary because I know you forgive me for my flaws. I love you when you say I am the only one you will ever love in your entire life." I closed my eyes and tears flowed down. "I love you because you love me not in the way I want but in the only way you could. And I love that about you."

"Impressive, you used the same exact reasons before and added new ones."

I laughed and let the tears wash it all away. "You were never boring."

"Francesca?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." I wiped the tears away.

"Let's do something fun, okay?" he said gently. "I want you to call down Quillish and ask him to bring you fresh cashew nuts and chocolate syrup."

"Okay," I did what he asked. Quillish gave me his handkerchief as he went to get what L asked for. As I sat there in the chair down the basement, I kept looking at the monitor, not saying anything. When Quillish finally arrived, he has with him a bowl with cashew nuts and a bottle of chocolate syrup. He laid it down and left.

"Take the syrup and pour it on the bowl." L said. I did it.

"Let's eat together," he said. "I am eating the same thing right now."

"This is so modern," I laughed as I took the spoon and placed the contents in my mouth. "This is too sweet, it makes my throat hurt."

"Just imagine that you are kissing me then." L suggested.

I closed my eyes with a smile. "Okay."

"Now if you do cum, wait for me, we need to be synchronized at all times."

I snorted a laugh. "Oh no, I got the monitor all dirty!"

"Uh, that's because you have to close your mouth even when you are moaning."

"Shut up."

I finished the tasty meal wholeheartedly, all the while having a conversation with him. We talked about the classes we have. We talked about Trey, Amy, Tawny, George and the rest of the class. We also started singing "4ver" again. He started lecturing me about pop culture and its effects on a teenager's lifestyle. Then he left me a homework about taking good care of his heirs, Near and Mello.

"Cherish them like you cherish your eyeliner," he said to me. "By the way, you did not just waste another amount of black oil coming from the endangered species of whales to darken your eyes again, right?"

"Oh, shut up!" I debated on telling him about Near. Then I decided that maybe I should. "Near is courting me."

"Really?" L said.

"Well," I traced the letter on the monitor with my finger dreamily. "He said you wouldn't mind since you like the challenge so…"

"I see," he said.

"Okay."

"Do you have anything to do right now?"

"I am going to talk to Salvador." I asked. "But I am gonna do that this afternoon. We could still hang out and talk about a lot of things. Maybe try to make each other horny or make fun of average people, you know, the usual things."

"I have to accompany Leonard's family to the funeral."

"Yeah, you are blowing me off."

"Well--"

"L, I'm totally kidding!" I teased him. "You could go if you want. I'm really okay with that so just go."

"Okay, just as long as you're fine with it."

"You should give me a kiss first."

"Okay." Then. "I just did. Did you enjoy it?"

"We should do it together! Remember synchronization! Okay, let's kiss the screen together on the count of three, one."

"Two."

"Three!" I leaned down and kissed the monitor. "Now how did that feel?"

"Erotically cold and solid."

"You took the words out of my mouth." I giggled. "I love you, L."

"Of course, you should."

"Bye-bye, L."

"Later."

The monitor flickered and the image disappeared. I was still daydreaming and humming our song to myself when I turned around and saw everybody standing there. Nicoline was smiling proudly. Leixa is giving me the naughty-girl-you! face, Ray and Naomi gave approving looks while Mello and Near remained indifferent.

"Yes," I answered them as I stood up, looking up at the heavens in glee. "That was the best sex I ever had in weeks!"

"Eww," Nicoline walked out. When that girl hears sex, she just leaves.

"Nice," Naomi and Ray said together and left.

"I'm gonna try making out with a CPU from now on." Leixa waved a goodbye and left. Mello and Near just stood there.

"How long have you guys been standing there?"

"When L asked you what is your plan for today." Mello answered.

"Actually, I was already here when he said you should cherish us like your eyeliner." Near said. "Might I comment that you look more like a raccoon than a panda."

When Near left, Mello gave a little smile and followed behind. I was left there all by myself. I looked back at the computer screen and blew a flying kiss. When I turned around, Quillish was there.

"Everything satisfactory?"

I walked to him and gave him a big hug. "Like brisket!"

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**You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all around. You do the hokey pokey when you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!**

**You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your left hand in and you shake it all around. You do the hokey pokey when you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!**

**You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out, you put your right foot in and you shake it all around. You do the hokey pokey when you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!**

**You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you shake it all around. You do the hokey pokey when you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about!**

**(Gosh, what a very deep song. I'm glad I put it here.)**

**I wish I were straight.**

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	16. Lectures with Brownies

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**It took me a long time to update. I really don't want to elaborate but for more details why, just check my profile. Now I will be leaving now and this is for real this time. I was just conditioning my mind for college so I was not in the mood to write. It was temporary cooper drain. Now I am back. I am going to make this chapter longer since I won't be back for a very long time. As usual, I will do the honors of thanking the following: Jill BioSkop, RikuNeo and nimblnymph for their honorable presence. What else is there to say? Well, I am not drunk anymore. I am completely sober. I still hate Paris Hilton. And the girl I dedicated this story to is back! Welcome back EnpatsuShakugan-Shana! So what else...uhm...I still hate Paris Hilton. And I am turning on my radar since I will be going to exclusive university for girls. Can anyone say shoujo ai? Yeah...**

**And can I ask for suggestions for food association? I am running out of the good sweet stuff. Please give me your own sweet stuff so I could use it and I will mention your name once I did. Thanks a many!**

**Do you guys hate Paris Hilton because geez, I don't think I mentioned this before but now I am: I hate Paris Hilton.**

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**Lectures on loose screws with brownies**

Fifteen-year-old Mello flipped a card at my face when he saw me drifting to different channels while we are in the course of his very important conversation. The topic is about Near, an undesirable subject no matter how you look it. He insisted on going on and I was too polite to intervene. He was randomly complaining about how Near is better than him all the time. It actually astounded me how inconsistently immature he had become as I sat across him in the airplane coach. He was comfortable sharing to me what he thinks which I felt relieved about because at least I have one of L's successors who like me in a not very deceptive way. Although his companionship is uplifting in this particular moment, discussing Near about his ugly features would no doubt give me night terrors if ever I fall asleep. To save myself from that traumatizing experience, I casually looked outside the window, imagining another world yet trying to keep up with what he was saying. Mello is a sweet boy but he does have those angry mood swings that pertain to Near whenever we all work together as a group. Near is confidently arrogant with his deductive reasoning and Mello is as intensely capable of wit but because he lets his emotions control him, Near gets to beat him in arriving to conclusions. If you would ask me for my personal insight, I prefer Mello's voracious energy in the case. He could take risks and that is one thing I admired about him. Near is still the better sleuth but his lack of locomotion and apparent inhumane characteristics make him prey to downright atrocious coldness that most of us (especially Ray and Naomi) do not like about him. When it comes to leadership, Mello is demanding and charismatic but when we do well, he would allow himself to compliment us lightly and expect our good behavior to go on. Near on the other hand would calmly point us how intolerable we had become and when we do well, he would shrug it off as if it is our obligation to please him. Yes, Mello and Near are polar opposites and I have become fond of the other boy with his real colors showing shamelessly while the other one I have loathed because of his mocking hypocrisy that flow through mercilessly.

So when Mello flipped the card at my face to show how irritated he is that I was spacing out and no longer paying attention to him, I did not look but I gave a weak smile and remarked. "That was not very mature, Mello."

"Well, that was not very polite, what you're doing." Mello scoffed me haughtily as he crossed his arms against his chest. His azure eyes glared while I could only manage to smile since he is such a pretty sight. Mello is a frozen beauty yet you tend to ignore that when you see him kick ass. I decided to still point out his aesthetics though. "Mello, you are so handsome."

Before Mello could counter attack, Leixa snapped. "I saw him first—"

"We all saw him first—" Ray interrupted and ended having a pillow in his face.

Leixa went on, "I saw him first so back off, Luisa! You already have L to yourself."

I was very lucky to have Mello sit across me. Leixa and Naomi sat opposite each other. Ray would go to the pilot's cabin with Quillish once in a while and just happened to pass by. Nicoline was the unfortunate soul who ended up with Near and she hardly said a word since she sat across him the entire trip.

"When do we plan to sabotage Leixa and Near with their game?" Mello lowered himself and whispered to me.

I did the same. "You are still thinking about that?"

"We need to call him with his bluff and yet you don't seem to care."

"Look, we both know Ray and Naomi are meant for each other."

"They need some pushing. Those two shitheads could hardly stomach each other so…"

"Patience is something you never learn, Mello."

"Don't you fucking lecture me."

I rolled my eyes good-humoredly. "Look, they'd still end up together. We will lose if we pressure them."

"They already hate each other." Mello pushed on. "So that is already an easy part for Near and Leixa. All they need to do is make them hate each other more."

"Let me worry about that." I smiled. "I am the one who's at risk here."

"I know and I care about you." Mello sounded sincere but I laughed.

"As much as I want to believe that, I won't."

"You can go to hell, Cheska." Mello leaned back and scoffed again. He always uses my real name and did not bother with the code names. He would call Nicoline 'you girl' though. And he would address Leixa inappropriately with terms like "Hitler Hoe" or "Nazi dyke." Leixa took this lightheartedly and would kiss Mello on the cheek, which the other boy did not mind but he never flirted back. Their partnership is a very amusing thing. Every time we have to split up, they always get into each other's throats. They were both boastful of their strength so when a group of men were cornering them one time, calling Leixa and Mello the Olsen twins, both agents did not left such good deed unpunished. Mello did not appreciate being called a girl so he attacked the men with effortless agility. Leixa was enjoying Mello's display of superiority that she did not mind fighting back. When the men do come up from the ground and tried to get a hold of Mello, Leixa responded back with a powerful kick in the solar plexus. Mello was pissed off with the unwanted help but they managed to beat the guys half-dead. Leixa happily commented that if Ray and Naomi are not going to get married, maybe the two of them should. Mello would ignore her as he began walking to where the rest of us are waiting.

I was a little disappointed of the places we went to since my last conversation with L. When we left Morocco, we ended up in casual stops on the way, gathering more information about strange occurrences that might be connected with the investigation. Near and L would contact each other, probably discussing about how the case with my family is being taken care of. Near spoke less to me the following days and I was also not in the mood to pry into anything that has something to do with him. I do desire to find out how he is monitoring my brother Pablo and if our family business does have all the stones in the possession. I could not deny that a sour, sinking feeling comes over me when I think about it and I just wish that this is just a mistaken accusation and there is no way my family is involved. I recall my last visit to my cousin Salvador. Leixa allowed me to see him before we leave. Ray kindly asked if he could accompany me and I agreed. I wore my best outfit that day, not really knowing why I want to be presentable. It was also densely cold that day so the warm and thick cloth provided me enough humidity as Ray and I walked along the dark hallway where Leixa kept the captives. It was chilling and not to mention awkward. The place looked like a nightmarish vision of slaves being vandalized in some secluded dungeon. This was no dungeon and there were no screaming slaves. It is a secluded location though and Ray opened one of the doors where my cousin was in. As I stepped inside the room, he looked up from his wrists that were chained and did not smile at all. Since we are family and our heritage has taught us blood is thicker than water, I walked to him to embrace him and he weakly returned it back. I pulled a chair and sat across him, the table being the only thing that barricaded us. I spoke first, "You shouldn't have done it, Salvi."

"There now, _cugina_, I don't think you have the right." He grinned at me. He was a handsome man, close to Pablo's age. He had a tousle of curly dark hair, piercing dark eyes and a mustache that is primly trimmed by the family hairdresser. He and I were very close back then. When I was five, he would bring me to carnivals. Turning fourteen was the year he started hanging out with the wrong crowd and nothing stayed the way it should. Sooner he kept away from family meetings and celebration. He became distant and is working on another indecent job. When Papa was still alive and well, he would teach Pablo and Salvador about the Mafia. He would also tell us stories about business being the source of everything. When our ancestors in Italy brought rich culture in America, they were immortalized. Once in a while they used force but killing is just a necessity for damage control. If you have watched the movie "The Godfather," it clearly depicted the struggles of an Italian family and whatever rumors you hear about the Mafia these days are no longer true and noble. There is still a Mafia and when Pablo inherited everything upon Papa's death, Salvador became bitter and resentful and made a Mafia of his own. That said Mafia is now guilty of selling drugs and distributing them using a legal cargo and stashing it to eleven-year-old girls as mules.

"You are not in the position to negotiate according to your terms." I explained it to him firmly.

He scoffed at me, rubbing his nose. "You got some nerve. You're a slut of the government now, Francesca."

"I want to protect our family but you're not making it any easier." I added. He looked at me and rubbed his nose again.

"So very sorry to hear that." He said sardonically as he glared at Ray who remained standing against the door the whole time.

"You have changed, Salvi." I remarked, almost sadly.

"I say the same thing to you." He slightly averted his gaze to his left.

"I did not try to drag down my family to my own destruction." I tried to remain as calm as I could manage. My cousin observed me lightly with a small smirk on his face. He did even blink or try to deny. He seemed very proud of what he had done and that angered me. I just want to smash his face on the concrete wall. Salvador would glare at Ray, obviously uncomfortable of his presence.

When Salvador rubbed his nose again, a familiar habit, Ray asked. "Inhaling coke is just a major health risk."

"So what the fuck is it to you?" Salvador shot back. He returned his attention back at me. I shifted at my seat when our gazes were locked onto each other for a long time. I remember that I didn't even try to inhale.

"So what's up?" he regarded languidly. "Why do you want to see me, eh? You trying to squeeze some more juice out of me? I'm telling you, there is nothing else worth squeezing."

"How could you do that, Salvi?" My voice was soft. My eyes remained on his face.

"It has been years and people change." Salvador answered as if that was final.

But not for me. "Papa loved you and Pablo equally."

He snorted a chuckle and rubbed his nose again. Then he leaned closer, keeping our gazes permanently locked. "I don't give a rat's ass."

"You always have and you always will."

"Ai! What is up with you?" He leaned back to his chair and looked at me harshly. "Isn't it enough that you see me now in the dirt as you have classified it? You come here, strutting with your expensive suit and with that—that FBI assface and tell me that I have disgraced the family? Well, I spit on Pablito and Pablo. I spit on the Mendez."

I clutched my fists for a second then unclenched it. Salvador observed me carefully. Even if he swears like an uneducated sailor, he is quick with his awareness and I know he is trying to weigh my reaction carefully. It is so funny and sad at the same time that I treat him now as an enemy to whom I should guard myself from. He also saw that wrenching situation so his expression softened.

"Salvi, do you know why I came here?"

"Beats me."

"I came here for you, for family." I tried to look away but it was too late. My eyes were filled with tears. This is so shameful. I am not supposed to break down. The last few weeks have been draining me and maybe this time I should stop the tough bitch act and try not to be hard on myself.

I heard my cousin sigh but he said nothing. He kept watching me though. I covered my face slightly so Ray will not see me acting so weak and a softie. I was taught strength in character. I was taught about the way society looks at women as powerless beings. I swore on my mother's grave I will prove that wrong. For Christ's sake, I killed somebody in my first day of job. Then I get to deceive my family while working undercover. I met a younger (sadistic) boy who just wouldn't stay away from me and I am still gathering my thoughts about how I really feel for the man I love. Give me a break, seriously. I shouldn't have signed up for this kind of profession. And now I am crying. Is it such a crime to cry? Of course it is not but why am I talking like this and blaming myself to show some amount of humanity? I hate I get lost in overanalyzing myself. Stop, Francesca, dammit, concentrate.

"Chekikay," Salvador muttered under his breath. I managed to look up when I heard my name and the change of tone in his voice.

I decided to just let it out. "I became an agent because—I took this assignment because of you. I wanted to prove that you are not guilty. I did it because I always knew there is goodness in you that you overlooked—"

"Don't be so annoying." Salvador brushed me off lightly.

"Salvi, I care about our family and you do too so I don't understand."

"Then allow me to explain." He leaned his elbows on the table and looked at me steadily. "I hate the family business. I hate how Pablo runs it. I hate how that whore Ofelia is taking over with his monkey-oriented sons."

"So you plan to jeopardize it by making a living in a dirty way?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I have my personal reasons and not just that lame thing with your half-brother." Salvador raised a finger.

"Then what did you do? Use one of the cargo ships to deliver the drugs? You got yourself caught up in some bad business and I don't think you could pull through? Do you know what will happen to you, Salvi?"

"Jail time." My cousin replied calmly. He looked at Ray. "Ain't that right, dupe face?"

"Twenty-five years tops." Ray answered.

"Salvi, listen to me carefully, I want you to post bail."

"Not doing it." He scoffed haughtily. "I am faced with heavy charges. We cannot simplify matters. I know this is all for family but have I been that to you for the last couple of years?"

I said nothing so he went on. "Problem with you is you think you can save everybody from some bloody carnage. Leave it alone, Chekikay."

"It doesn't matter how I act," I shook my head. "All that really matters to me right now is you would cooperate with the government agency handling your case."

"Did Pablo and Ofelia know about this job of yours now, huh?" Salvador watched me curiously.

"As a matter a fact, they don't." I answered in a dignified tone.

"You are always too smart for anything," Salvador inquired with a smirk. "But come on, a government agent, Chekikay?"

"At least it's a decent living."

"Yeah right, you're the one to talk." Salvador scratched the portion of his skin where the chains are touching. He did not speak for some time and then he looked at Ray silently. I tried to understand the situation here. If it is true that I am only in denial about not being able to save my cousin from this danger then I must let go now. I remained unconvinced, however.

"We are going to get through this."

"Ai, look at you, Francisca!" Salvador shook his head gravely. "You are young, talented and smart. You have a driving ambition. Why would you want to waste that on me, huh, _hija_?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I am not giving up on you, Salvi."

"I did a very bad thing, okay? Let me deal with that." He pushed himself off the table and stood up, eyeing me a little angrily. "Really, _bella_, do not force your nose where it doesn't belong. I am perfectly capable of handling myself."

"And look where that got you!" I hissed.

"Well, I made this choice. It is no one's fault but me." He pointed at himself. "Chekikay, I would honor you as my family, as my little _bella cugina_ by not letting you step inside this mess so you could clean after me. You have a life now that's going quite good for you. Do us both a favor and enjoy it."

"Do you know about the stones, Salvi?" I closed my eyes for a while.

"What stones, huh?"

"Don't lie to me, Salvi."

Salvador let out a frustrated sigh. "I do not know anything about your stones bullshit or any James Bond shit you are playing around with. I smuggled drugs. I sell them for the highest price. That is all I do."

"You are hiding something, Salvi." I tapped my fingers on the table.

"If you are convinced with that," he leaned himself on the table and looked at me without blinking. "Then go bust your ass and prove it."

"Sit down, Mr. Mendez." Ray walked towards us with a firm gaze that Salvador laughed at and then he sat back on his chair.

"Why did you choose this life, Chekikay?" Salvador asked me directly.

"I fell in love, _cugino_."

There was a short pause. Salvador pointed at Ray. "I hope not that _brutto_ bastard."

"I have nothing else to say to you." I stood up and headed to the door.

"Fine." Salvador leaned back on his chair then he called out. "And uh, a belated happy birthday to you, _bella_."

I stopped, grabbing the doorknob as I glanced back at him. He looked so shrunken and lonely from where I stand. I tried not to think much about it but I prayed that this wouldn't be the last time I will see him alive. There is so much at stake here and there is so much left to talk about. I do not know why I am unable to let it go but I do not want to lose the thread holding the both of us close. I would clutch it as long as I could until I finally understand the reason why everything would not make sense. I managed to nod at what he said and then I opened the door to clear my thoughts from the pollution. Ray followed behind me as we walked out of that secluded barricaded cell.

"Luisa," I heard him speak. I felt his hand touch my arm. I looked at him. "We could go to some bar and get you a drink. I think you need one."

"Excellent observation, agent Penbar." I gave him a formal smile as we headed to an open barstool. I took a seat and ask the bartender for a scotch. Ray ordered the same thing. We sat there, allowing silence to accompany us. He showed concern though so he broke it after some time. "Family reunions could be so dramatic."

I sighed with another smile. "You are unfortunate to witness that."

"Your cousin is tough." Ray reached out for our drinks and handed mine to me. "But he met Near and let's just say he isn't proud about being easily frightened by a child."

I laughed at that. The laugh actually released some bundle of stress in my chest. I gave Ray another smile, wider this time. "Near had his share of fun after all."

I gulped my drink hard. Ray remarked. "Take it easy on the scotch, Luisa."

"So what's with you and Naomi, huh?" I glanced at him through my empty glass. The bartender poured on it then he went back to another customer who is obviously telling him a heart-wrenching story.

Ray cleared his throat. "What do you mean?"

"You don't know how acting dumb is done, Ray so please don't attempt." I chuckled dryly. "Are you guys more than friends back then?"

"We know each other since we grow up in the same small town." Ray explained as he sipped his drink. "There's nothing really to it."

"Do you like-like her?"

Ray ignored that and gulped the rest of his scotch. "You and L, huh?"

I crossed my legs. "Yes, me and L. On the other hand, there is you and Naomi."

"We are not really talking about that, aren't we?"

"We were but since you are being a coward about it, we ended up with my relationship with our boss." I pointed out slyly.

"I understand what he sees in you," Ray added. "You must be, what do you call it? An acquired taste."

"Acquired taste? That is an exceptional opinion about my sensuality, Ray."

"You are, Luisa," Ray asked for another scotch. "Rumor has it that you have Near chasing after you too."

"Why does everybody know about everybody?"

"It's a small organization." Ray replied, smiling.

I laughed again, throwing my head back for an effect. Then I gulped my drink hard again. Ray just watched me carefully.

"You should tell Naomi before it's too late." I suggested.

"We are going to see L again because he wanted to know what he have gathered so far," Ray answered me sternly. "I did not mean to pry but is it really that serious between the two of you?"

"That depends if I was the first girl L managed to woo."

"Ah, I can't say." Ray gave me a nasty smirk as he finished his drink.

"What are you implying?" I raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying I am not the first woman in his life?"

"Well, given the condition, you certainly would be the last." Ray chuckled. "Not to worry, Luisa. You are the first girl he ever wooed since he never does that especially not with a candidate for hiring. I do feel compelled to inform you that you are not the only girl who has her eyes on him."

"Thank you now I must look for adversaries the whole time during the course of this mission." I stood up and placed one hand on my hip.

"Try somebody closer." Ray added as we exited the bar.

I pondered about that as we made our way back to the condo. I found Nicoline and Leixa chatting animatedly with Naomi listening. When she saw Ray, she gave a slight scoff under her breath. I tried to hide my grin when she started scolding about him being watchful and punctual at all times.

"Is that alcohol in your breath?" Naomi gave me a death glare.

"I just had two scotch." Ray reasoned out.

"Don't bother, Ray, I am not your mother!" Naomi walked away.

"Or your wife." Leixa nudged Ray on the elbow.

That night we prepare ourselves for another trip. The sitting arrangement was agreeable but not to Nicoline since she had to sit across Chuckie doll (Yes, Near.)

Back to Mello and his heartbreaking story.

"I was listening," I remarked as I see Mello sulking. "Near got two points higher in your Physics test. I get why you're pissed."

"You don't seem to mind him around anymore." Mello commented grudgingly.

"Why do you think I am sitting here with you?" I asked him, amused. "I suffer delusions when I am around Near and it's not healthy."

"Whatever." Mello gritted his teeth and turned away. I smiled wide and shook my head good-humouredly.

"Don't be so morose, you're too young to be a cranky old man."

"Whatever." Mello threw another card at my face. I tried not to be impatient. I drummed my fingers on my knee then took the card and threw it back at him. He glared at me and took another card.

"Don't you—" I was cut off when the card hit me right in the nose. I sighed and said. "You are going to hell for that, kid."

"Whatever. You need to get laid."

"What makes you think I am not getting any?"

"Duh, you did not just ask me that." Mello rolled his eyes. "What did L see in your lame ass?"

"You see, this is why you get to be the second-best."

That hit a nerve. Mello glared angrily now. I managed not to shake. Mello just scoffed and turned away. I shrugged my shoulders and went back from daydreaming. Mello was sneaking glances at me while I sat there across him. Finally, he lowered himself down and I looked at him curiously. I did the same. When our eyes met, he whispered. "So how are we going to make Ray and Naomi a couple?"

"That depends on how willing you will go far." I answered him back in a whisper.

"All the way."

"Ooh...dirty."

Mello just grinned and said. "I really want him to pee himself in shame."

"I don't think we could acquire that extremity," I smiled back. "How about watching him in agony while he couldn't afford to play with any toy?"

Mello paused and thought about it then he replied. "I still would like to see him pee."

"You're very demanding." I winked at him. "I wonder if you are like that in bed."

Mello blinked then leaned back on his seat. "Like I said, you need to get laid."

I laughed and brought myself up as well. "I have a feeling that our club will soon get more qualified members."

"Great." Mello rolled his eyes. "Just fucking great."

"Both of you stop talking and go to sleep!" Leixa called out from the other end. "We have a long day ahead of us."

Mello cursed at her with his usual terms of racial insult and grabbed a blanket beside him. He threw one at me and I muttered a "thank you." He grudgingly wrapped the blanket around him and saw me watching him. He glared at me. "What?"

I smiled and leaned towards him to give him a soft kiss on the forehead. "Night, Mel."

Mello blinked when my lips made contact on his skin and then when I positioned myself on the coach, he shot me another glare as he pulled up the covers.

"It's Mello, bitch."

"Right." I sighed contentedly and watched him close his eyes to get some sleep. I did not sleep like the rest and remained lying there with my mind drifting into other channels of thinking. I know that I was not the only one awake so I got up slowly to avoid waking Mello across me. I walked to the coach behind me and saw Near sewing his teddy bear's yellow sweater. He did not look up to acknowledge my presence.

"Hello Near."

"Hello Luisa."

"You seem to be taking good care of Affy right there." I remarked.

"He needs to wear his yellow sweater at all times."

"It's funny how you manage to take care of non-living things better than when you deal with your colleagues."

"Aw shucks, Luisa. I feel bad." Near said in a flat tone. I was about to open my mouth to counter attack that when I saw Ray enter from the pilot cockpit, holding a blanket. He crouched silently to Naomi and was about to put the blanket on her when Leixa sprang to life and grabbed it.

"Thanks, Ray!" she beamed at him. Naomi was awake the whole time. She glared at Leixa then at Ray.

"Uh, I will get you another one." Ray said.

Naomi scoffed. "Don't bother."

"I will get another—"

"Go to sleep, Ray and don't bother." Naomi lay down properly and ignored him. Near and I exchanged glances. The kid smiled his cold smile.

"Some game." I muttered as I walked back to my coach.

**--oOoOoOoOoOoOo--**

The brownies I consumed earlier that meeting was now melting rather elegantly on my mouth. We had arrived at the British Port after two hours of dozing off. To our dismay, L sent us to our rooms and decided to move the schedule for tomorrow morning. He figured that we needed more rest. With resentful heads, we started walking to our own rooms. L asked for me to stay around with him and I saw Leixa gave me a grin while Nicoline smiled at me encouragingly. When we were finally left alone, L did not say a word as he sat on the sofa, gripping his knees with his hands. I waited patiently as I sat beside him. We both did not look at each other.

"Brownies?" L finally said. I glanced at the platter beside me and grabbed a couple, chewing on them slowly. L was watching me now. He grabbed himself a slice of cake in the corner as well.

As we sat there trying not to act so awkward around each other, I could not help but feel like words are not useful at this very instant. The room was incredibly warm and I wondered about that. As I finished my brownies, a realization overcame me.

I don't know about you but I am feeling exceptionally horny. It is bound to happen so I don't think I'm in the position to refuse it. Eager I was to succumb to the utmost pleasure of the corporal body. I was insatiable and womanly and the urges are not to be fought against but rather be welcomed into, exploring the widening depths of passion I became too accustomed with. The object of my ruthless affections was casually sitting on the sofa, consuming another cake, eyes not wandering from anything but his piece of heavenly slice. I was wondering and contemplating the pick-up line to imply my intentions to do him mindless but decided that spontaneity is what my sensuality has to offer. I sat comfortably beside him, placing my trembling fingers gently on his knee. I got his attention in a second and when he looked back at me, I grinned at him. He saw the expression of conflict in my face and recognized the naked arousal so he returned it with a formal nod. I did not have time for gentleman act so I grabbed him by the collar of his white shirt and pulled his face closer to mine. I could tell from the flicker in his eyes that he smelled my perfume and was quickly enticed by the shiny strawberry lip-gloss I applied earlier. He traced a finger on my cheek, teasing and playing around, torturing me with the powerful sensation brought by his finger touching my skin. Then he breathed against my parted lips, taking absolute time. He was gaining the upper hand control and I allowed him with his games. I responded to him coyly, running my fingers from his knees to his thighs. He started licking the strawberry taste of lip-gloss silently, watching with opened eyes how I will return the favor of his seduction. I put my tongue out to meet his and for the first time in a month, I could be swept off my feet again once more. We kissed hungrily and savagely, hands pulling the clothing of our bodies but not trying to give in to the cry of undressing. He held me in his lanky but strong arms, moaning and gasping in my mouth as I am doing in his we were too far away from each other during the course of this damn mission and nothing could tear us apart now. We were pulling and tugging, biting and kissing that we both lost balance and had fallen to the cement floor, which is by the way covered with a brown carpet so the landing was not crucially painful. We did not even know pain right now. Our goal is breathless, mad pleasure. Damn common sense and goodbye logic.

Hello sexual synchronization.

L is a passionate and capable lover. His touch was feathery but when he applies force, my sinewy body is begging to be taken captive. I was muttering gibberish in our mouths that sounded like a prayer. I was too high to be profound so I let the actions of our bodies decide this event. L released my torso from the suffocating blouse I wore. He unleashed the warm, sizzling flesh of my whole being the second he ripped off my skirt. His palms run down smoothly on my shoulder blades, lowering himself even more so he could take my mouth fully. The heat was unbearable and the lurching in my stomach is driving me insane. I called out his full name, feeling every syllable escape my lips, my voice shaking in this wonderful encounter. He chuckled amusedly and run his fingers through the strands of my hair. He held me with just the right touch, not breaking me or depriving me from air but that's exactly what he is doing to me, taking my breath away, the brute! We were hot and ready and we waited a long time for this. I closed my eyes as I hear his breath close to me, his chest heaving at the same time as mine with our fuels and life forces apparently connecting to reach the level of total utopian bliss.

We didn't even hear the door open. We didn't even realize the six people who entered the room, bearing news from reality. L managed to react and looked up to see the visitors. I was still into the moment so it took me a long tome to register myself back to the real world. L was already off me, immediately fixing his crumpled shirt and zipping up his jeans. I saw him with his usual cool composure but he is absentmindedly scratching his head. Then the realization hit me like lightning bolt and I rushed to out my clothes on, even just my blouse. When I believe I look decent enough, the first pair of eyes I met are those of Near (oh hell could freeze with that stare of his) then I met my best friend Nicoline's eyes who could not figure out how to display her repugnance in this situation. Leixa was appreciating the sight with her fantastic grin. Mello was adjusting the zipper of his leather jacket as if he felt the sudden change of temperature as well. Naomi and Ray were speechless and tried looking at anything but us.

Near, never expected to be affected by anything, remarked. "I told you that the air-conditioning needs some fixing."

Nobody replied to that careless phrase. They were beyond themselves. They were ants that are trying to figure out which direction and course to follow. Nicoline, being the modest girl, walked away first with a silent "excuse me." Naomi smiled nervously and nudged Ray who is giving L a small smirk. They left together and although Mello wished he could bravely walk away like that, his feet were glued to the carpet. Leixa winked at me and tugged Mello by the arm. Mello was thankful to get out and forgot that he hated his partner. Near, on the other hand, stayed with his finger twisting a strand of curly silver hair. He was looking at L who looked back at him indifferently. I gathered my voice back and said to him. "Yes, Near. The air-conditioning is faulty. May we ask Matt to fix the equipment?"

"I believe he is on his way." The moment Near pronounced the sentence, Matt came out of nowhere, his copper red hair disheveled while his goggles hang loosely around his neck. He must have rushed quickly that he run out of air. After taking a few gulps of oxygen, he raised himself up proudly with an unmistakable childish grin. "Heard some loose screws around here."

"Such glamorous innuendo, this 'loose screws,' Matt". L remarked impassively. "It would pertain objects and people at the same time."

"With all due respect, sir!" Matt sounded adorably defensive. "I am not addressing you as a loose screw and even if you are getting any, er, loose screw for that matter, it is completely none of my business. I may also agree that your screw as for the moment is not loose. Your screw is—" he paused and shifted his gaze towards me then he blushed as he went on, "ravishingly divine screw, sir."

I saw L visibly roll his eyes. Near smiled his smile.

"Thank you, Matt." I managed to reply. L walked passed me and handed me my skirt. I took it, still smiling at Matt who is now fixing his untidy red locks. I stood up slightly to put on my skirt, seeing L giving the vibe to stop staring at his girlfriend. The younger boy cleared his throat and carried his toolbox so he could fix the air-conditioner.

"It's not as if I discourage any kind of activity like this in the British Port, L." Near pointed out carefully. "But may I remind you of your position which your employees esteem you highly."

"I am a man of rationality, Near." L replied back. "In time you develop your hormones which is a year from now, you will understand."

Near raised an eyebrow. "I'd be looking forward to it. Indeed I want to understand what drives event the most intelligent men to fiery explosions of erotic romance so easily."

L actually smiled at hat and patted Near's head. "Indeed."

"I tightened the screws!" Matt called out.

"I doubt it would make the slightest difference." Near remarked as he kept his eyes on me the whole time. Matt placed the goggles on his eyes and walked pass. I heard him mutter. "I sure hope not."

When Matt opened the door, we heard the other arguing.

"Seeing L have sex is like watching fish fornicate." It was Mello. "It happens but you have no idea how it is done."

"Seeing L have sex is like watching a bad movie in the cinema." Leixa added. "You like to watch it again in your house no matter how you think it's bad."

"My turn!" Ray interjected. "Seeing L has sex—"

"Earns suspension from line of duty." L called out calmly. "Please go back to your rooms, agent. And you too, Matt."

We heard scrunching of feet and Leixa's giggles before silence. Nicoline popped her head from the doorway. "Coming, Cheska?"

"Coming right now." I walked towards her. She saw the satisfied smile on my face and shook her head.

"I don't want to know the details."

I scoffed playfully. "Spinster."

Nicoline glared at me slightly then started walking ahead. I heard her call out, "Loose screw!" and then she turned to a corner and disappeared.

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**Another Italian moment. I watch too much _Sopranos_.**

**For some tidbits: _Bella_ means _beautiful_ and _cugino_ is _male cousin_ as _cugina_ means _female cousin_. _Brutto_ means _ugly_. And _hija_ is Spanish for _daughter_ but Italians adapt it to their use most of the time.**

**And OH MY GOD MATT!**

**Remember to submit your choice of sweet food so I could use it for my next chapters. An uh, Fanfiction don't ban me anymore! I promise to be good! ;;**

**To all of you who are looking forward for the soundtrack, L and Francesca have another official song. It is "Halo" by Bethany Joy Lenz from _One Tree Hill_. Gosh, it fits them especially the lines in the chorus. My auntie suggested this song and I willingly accepted it.**

**"_One thing is clear: I wear a halo when you look at me but standing from here you wouldn't say so if you were me. I just want to love you."_**

**L and Francesca both want to be the best for each other but being perfect all the time is not the right thing to do since they just want to take care of each other and expectations from their sides are often making it hard for them to open up to each other. Okay, I will let you be the judge yourselves. I thought I may not be able to write but luckily, I got to display this chapter because this time I am really gonna be gone for a long time.**

**Farewell for now, sweet readers! I love you!**

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	17. Lectures with Vanilla Ice Cream

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**L and Francesca should stop groping on each other but that would be a wishful thinking from now on since my personal life (god I have one finally) is influencing their own sexual performance. Not that it is important but I am seeing a girl who is uncanny in her demands for, er, let's say "loose-screwing." In case you are asking, the answer is yes, I feel fan-freaking-tastic! Thank you for submitting your food associations. Y'all are tantalizing readers! Welcome to susuwatari7, Ocean Queen Kai, and Kat-chan. Also my auntie! I am so glad she finally submitted a review.**

**On a side note and unrelated topic, I really thank the critic review made by Kat-chan for this story. It was honest and direct and I appreciate you taking the time to break down into details about how you did not like my story. There is, however, one thing I must point out: I really am grateful for your help but I don't think I would bury myself so much in your expectations for me to do better. I have grown now as a writer and also as a self-respecting individual so though your review is esteemed highly, I shall not be letting it dictate the course of this story because I am proud of what I have come with this so far and as long as there are readers who affirm this, then I shall not dwell on the negative side. I still do thank you for what you have done. It was nice. Still, if you wish to read some more as this story goes on**** and point out more errors, I shall listen and would not vent on you. I was done with that immature display of arrogance and it only hurts me when I become rude.**** I have not reach perfection and is in no way in debt to it. For once I am happy with what I am doing and if you do know me as a person, you would know that writing to me is more than a hobby or career. It is a therapy and a good one too. May Sue or not, this story is personal and the reason why I plan to pursue it is for self-fulfillment and not for public attention like I used to grovel for before. He****re's to me, hoping we could acquire some level of respect from each other for standing on our grounds of belief.**

**Now back to the story:)**

**Warning****: This chapter includes some oh-so-shocking revelations and smut since "she" asked for it (how could I refuse?) There would be slapping, foreplay and Matt-yumminess.**

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**Lectures on ****Taking Chances with Vanilla Ice Cream**

Incompetence is the one thing that L, Near and Mello never tolerate at any given occasion that might display this atrocious attitude. They do excel in almost anything and that includes putting high expectations on everybody around them. For the longest period of time that I spend around them since I entered this phase of adulthood, I noticed that each of them possess their own breed of vanity. My autistic charmer L is stealth in his preferences and opinions so you would rarely conclude that he cares about anything. As our relationship started to grow, I noticed that he could be harsh and critical when something does not please him. His facial expression never changes when he points out his complaints on the table. He rarely reacts at errors committed by his employees but I did observe the taunting and irregular ways he shows his dissatisfaction. He would not hesitate to humiliate the person who causes his dismay but he will do it gently and subtly that the prey has no idea he is being watched and scrutinized. Near also approaches things the way his mentor would. And when I say "things" I am pertaining on how he looks at people: objects of his amusement. If a fatal mistake is committed, he would smile the trademark coldness of his arrogance and would not directly show his concern on the person who made the mistake. He would, however, make sure that the same person would make the same mistake over and over again to remind the poor being that Near is taking the ultimate mental pleasure from watching his stupidity reach greater depths and possibilities. Mello, on the other hand, is confrontational. When he doesn't like something, he shoves it right in your face and I prefer that approach since there is no deception in it. L and Near are both cold and ruthless when dealing with people and things that bore them but I always find L a bit more compassionate than Near. L would give the vibe to the prey that he is not expecting more mistakes to follow while Near would actually encourage it so he could take glee from people's failures. Mello is sometimes the better company among them. It's not like I feel threatened with L's tendency to become passive-aggressive but I noticed that after the incident involving being caught in the act (yes, the loose screws) he became a little distant and then too intense that it does freak me out.

How could I be more concrete of this? I think I should start with how the investigation is being handled. The first thing we did when we woke up the next day after the loose screw incident is dividing up assignments. The Naomi-Ray game is ongoing but the results are very flexible. There would be a time that Naomi would be gentle with Ray so it favors me and Mello. And then out of nowhere, Naomi would bicker about something incredibly small and Ray would be the impotent softie he is. Leixa would interfere more than once and I will tell Near that it is unfair. We already agreed that we would let the things run its course with Naomi and Ray. Leixa reasoned out that it would be boring if we don't try to control the situation. So we had a compromise: use tactics to make sure Ray and Naomi will end in the position we want them to, love or hate. Mello and I are determined to win as well as Leixa and Near. This is the moment of heroic teamwork and we are enjoying it. We try to stay focus in the job at hand. Near is still running the case with my family, no question there. Mello and Leixa are following more leads about the drugs. Naomi and I are working on the profiling of other "adolescent agents." I think this is L's way to keep me busy and business-oriented as he is working with Ray on Leonard Telesco's murder. I was casually being sweet to Matt whenever I see him working on the computer databases. L says nothing when he sees us talking but I could sense that he doesn't like it. L is not what I can call typically jealous but he seems somehow territorial. It was just harmless fun when Matt and I would giggle at silly stuff like why he wears goggles like that. It only happened twice that L stumbled upon us having a good time so I decided later that afternoon to talk to him about it.

"Hey, can I ask you a simple question?"

L was looking at pictures, raising each photo up in the ceiling to get a better look. "Perhaps if it concerns me."

"It does, actually." I took a seat beside him. "You don't seem to approve with how I associate myself with Matt."

L said nothing and nothing in his face gave away of how he is reacting to this. I kept talking anyway. "He is a good kid, you know. I actually see him like a little brother."

"Okay." L replied, not taking his eyes off the photos.

"I know it seems like I could have these flirting signals but honestly, I do not let it get to that. There is occasional teasing but nothing else."

"Okay."

"Don't be inscrutable, L." I frowned. "We should be comfortable about talking this kind of stuff now that we are in a relationship."

"Okay."

"You're not hearing me."

"I hear you perfectly fine, young lady." L glanced at me slightly. "Since you seem to really concern yourself with such trivial stuff I shall be responding to this as enthusiastically as I could master."

"Sarcasm is not required." I added in dismay.

"I don't follow." He knit his eyebrows in contrition. I reached out to put my arms around him. I kissed him around his neck. He breathed into my hair and said nothing.

"We swore that we shouldn't be like other couples because we both agree we are not going to be that sentimental, mediocre type of losers, right?" I said.

"Yes, I recall that clearly but I don't see that it bears anything in this conversation."

"You're making us act like the other couples with this jealousy streak of yours."

L's eyes widened a little and then he sighed, averting his gaze for a while and then looked back at me in that clever way of his. "What makes you conclude that?"

"You are complicating things, L and it's hardly amusing for me." I said honestly. "I mean I know that I may seem like flirting with Matt but I just find him cute and that happens. It's not like there is something malicious about that treatment."

"Francesca, if I understand, you are the one who is making a big deal out of this." L answered me. "If you are that aware of how I am dealing with the boys prying on you, you would have noticed how my relationship with my apprentice Near had changed after he pressed on courting you. We have a conversation about it and I challenged him to go further and see how he could possibly woo you to his side."

I pulled away and looked at him sternly. "You encouraged him? Seriously, you actually encouraged him? Do you know the lengths I am undergoing to avoid him?"

L looked up at the ceiling as though lost in thought then he looked back at me. "You really should entertain him."

"I don't see where this line of thinking of yours is going but I will try to pay attention to this madness." I was getting irritated. L stared at me for a long time before he answered me back.

"Near is harmless." L explained slowly. "I am not giving you away like some cheap candy, Francesca. I am testing him, you see. This is a good trial to test his skills."

"Some lesson you have there, L."

"I actually predicted that he will have the urge to possess you." L added. "I know Near's temperament more than anybody else. He is my successor after all. He likes to play and he takes pride in winning and success. I would like to see how he would handle this challenge and I can assure you that I am as hard on winning as he is. You should be entertained about this, young lady."

"You boys are so not easy on the eyes." I sighed and felt drained all of a sudden. "Why would you do this? Don't you even think about how I feel about this?"

L reached out to cup me by the chin. I looked at him curiously. "I recall that you say that we won't be like the sentimental, mediocre losers in a romantic relationship. Now isn't this making that possibility far from being true?"

I thought about it. "L, this is kind of hurtful for me."

"This is another form of mental orgasm, dear."

"If you don't know yet, I am actually tired of complications." I pulled away from his grip. "I am so not in the mood for mind games right now."

"I don't understand, why are you depressed?" L looked at me with a little concern on his face. "You are reacting in a way that I don't expect."

"I am unpredictable, L." I remarked languidly. "And I do bruise easily."

"You are talking in circles and this conversation bores me." L replied offhandedly and faced away from me. I did not take it the hard way since I know he might be toying around and would like to see how I would react to that rudeness. I did not give him the satisfaction. L is a complicated guy and he would show it arrogantly and now that we are in a relationship that demands commitment and respect, I have to admit we are having a hard time adjusting to the pressure. There is still the fatal attraction and the lust but aside from that, we are on guard from each other and we are still in the stage of trying to make it work for the best. L is showing his darker colors. He would shrug me off when he does not feel like talking to me. He would rarely make eye contact. He would be the worst person to ever live with in a room. I have to be honest now. He could get into my last nerve and I think I am doing the same thing to him. I guess if this goes on, I might fall out of love with him...

No, no, no…pathetic as this may sound, I feel like I could never feel this way again for another human being. I don't want to lose hope on this. I know that he is as uncomfortable of this as I am and maybe I am being too critical and too superfluous on judging rather brusquely on what we have so far. And if this doesn't work out and he becomes only my boss, I don't think that would be enough for the both of us after all that "wooing" and stuff.

"L," I finally called to him after a long period of silence. "I still love you."

Way with words. Yuck.

"Okay." He simply replied.

"You have to say you love me back." I pointed out. "You could not keep avoiding that. Hearing it makes it more believable especially now that we are starting to develop this into something...shit, L. I hate it when I talk like this."

He looked at me with a small smirk. "You should stop thinking too much about it. I'm fine with everything we are going through as long as we do stick together as a team, right? And if you do want me to say that, I would."

"Okay, so..." I waited for it.

"What?"

"Say it."

"I rather not."

"This is starting to bug me." I leaned back on my chair, exhausted.

"I told you to stop putting too much thought into it." L frowned. "You are just getting a mild culture shock after all that has been happening to you. It's normal but letting it control you would be suicidal. Breathe, Francesca."

"I know I am being such an idiot right now." I said calmly. "I also know that I shouldn't be so darn outrageous about this. I have to stop talking now."

"Would kissing alleviate your anxiety?" he asked me casually.

"I think that it might help." I smiled back at him weakly. "That is very nice of you."

"Okay then." L cupped my chin once more and kissed me gently by the lips. I allowed the warmth consumed me as I emptied my mind from distracting thoughts. Then he pulled back to see how I was doing. I smiled at his face and said. "Do you want me to get you coffee, L?"

"Yes, please." He answered with a small smile and watched me as I stood up to fix him some coffee in the corner. I put twelve sugar cubes as he liked it and then handed the cup of coffee to him.

"Have you chosen a candidate for recruiting?" L asked me as he looked at his reflection in the coffee.

"Naomi said that it is supposed to be the job of the higher supervisor and not a rookie like me so why exactly are you letting me do the profiling?"

"Doesn't it excite you somehow?" L peered into me slyly. "It is a good exercise for your skill. Besides, I already have one selected recruit in mind."

I raised an eyebrow. "So that was a waste of time for me."

"Look at it positively." L sipped his coffee. "You know how much I regard your point of views highly. I know that you will also have good opinions about this particular gentleman and it is to my understanding that you might actually work along well with him."

"Have you profiled him up close and personal, say in a bar?" I teased.

L raised his eyebrow this time. "I was hoping you could do that for me, young lady."

"You don't say!" I shook my head good-humoredly. "And if I must be inclined to refuse that—"

"I would not advise you to do so."

"But L! I thought that I am working on the corpses with the letter 'L' on their toes!"

"If you do this for me, I shall allow you to take anybody you want." L gave his clever cat-like smile. "Not necessarily Near."

I thought about that. "So your successor boy will handle single-handedly the case with the corpses and the investigations surrounding my brother?"

"No, he will be assisted with my other successor."

I could not help but laugh. "If you haven't been paying a detailed attention, your adorable toddlers hate each other."

"Mello and Near get along just fine." L chuckled. "Sibling rivalry is just part of the bargain."

"Okay, I'll take Matt then."

"No," L looked away and sipped his coffee. "Before you get your usual cute tendencies to make it about a jealous-boyfriend issue, I see Matt as strictly for the Port's use in the database. He is the best virtual tech we have. I gave you cell phones, right? His number is on speed-dial in case you want him to quickly search some information."

"What is he, a Google boy? Maybe Penelope Garcia?"

"Matthew is a highly-trained Wammy boy." L said it with a tone that he wishes me to dismiss the subject completely. He sipped his coffee and added. "Criminal Minds is a very creative TV Show. Do you think I'm like Dr. Reid there?"

"Yes, though you are more handsome." I grinned and raised my hands in surrender. "Who are my other options then?"

"Agent Penbar and Agent Jorgue will be taking over the next steps in Telesco's murder and the assassin. Agent Kroiger will be working with Agent Misora since I decided Mello and Near to work together."

"How about..." I voiced my thoughts aloud. "I take Mello with me?"

L glanced at me slightly. "Really, Francesca, I got everything under control between my two boys. No need to be mommy. You are certainly not yet applying for that position unless I tell you so."

"L, are you flirting with me?" I edged closer. L shook a little when he saw me approach closer then he managed to taunt me to do anything else. I smiled and placed my arms around his hips to take him off from his usual sitting position. He willingly stood up and leaned me to my own chair but did not proceed further. I run my fingers through his hair and stared into his eyes. He lowered himself to capture my mouth with his. As we were kissing, I said, "I would really like Mello around. He is some bright kid, you know."

"Oh, so this is a trap after all," he spoke back inside our mouths. "You are using your sexual charms to seduce me into submission."

"Then such treachery should be punished then?" I challenged, holding apart our mouths so I could gaze into his eyes. He looked back at me and shrugged his shoulders tauntingly, saying. "I suppose you should be disciplined."

I pushed myself off my chair and pushed him into his as I sat on his lap, legs apart. He gave me a small, mysterious smile and started to fumble the buttons of my blouse. I put a finger on his chest and said. "Mello would be rather grateful working with me than with Near. If you don't mind, professor..." I lowered myself down to caress his chest with my lips, biting his shirt while running my fingers on his nipples. He threw his head back slightly, closing his eyes, giving me a shaky chuckle. I lifted myself up and grinned wide. "If you don't mind, professor, I would like to do my job now to sufficiently..." I run a hand on his cheek then down to his chest again. "...please you."

"What if I say no?" L challenged back, pushing my hand off gently from his chest. He held it, interlacing our fingers together, staring at me without blinking.

I faked a gasp by putting my other hand against my half-opened mouth. "Oh, what will it take to convince you?"

"Perhaps..." L tightened his grip on my hand and started to lick the buttons of my blouse one by one upwards, speaking slowly. I smelled the faint cinnamon syrup and coffee in his hair and I inhaled it willingly. "If you...would make the biggest effort..." _lick_, "...to let me take advances..." _lick_, "...on you when I feel like it..." _lick, lick_, "...and to hand yourself in total surrender with your best conduct..." _lick, lick_, "…and fullest cooperation..." _lick, lick, lick, lick, _"...I would definitely..." he was already caressing my neck. "...allow you the pleasure to beg me in your most insatiable way to take you not only once..." he ran his tongue up my ear. "...or twice but over and over...and over…" he quickly unbuttoned my blouse by each word. "...over and over and over…" then he reached out inside my open blouse to finger the strap of my violet bra from my shoulder. "again and again and that would..." he slides the strap down to bit my shoulder and I moaned, tugging him closer. He pulled himself up to smile seductively at me. "That, young lady would sufficiently please me."

"You are..." I took his other hand to interlace our fingers as well, gripping him hard. "…never boring."

He suddenly pushed me off gently and stood up, arching and scratching his head. I glared at him for disentangling himself like that but I was blushing hard.

"True I am full of surprises." L regarded me with a careful gaze. "I am also wickedly discontent and insecure and needs to be fulfilled all the time."

"I should get a high cut-off score for this, professor." I walked towards him, taking my time. "And Mello."

All of a sudden, L slapped me across my face. I was shocked and could not react immediately. He took me by the shoulders to push me hard against the wall. I met his smile and I could not help but smile back.

"Ungrateful, teasing bitch." He muttered. I felt a tingling sensation in my thighs when he said that. I tried not to collapse. He leaned himself against me and we started kissing again. He grabbed a handful of hair and pulled me further towards him. We stopped to gasp for breath after what seemed like eternity.

"So..." I gave him another flashing smile. "Is the negotiation final?"

L pulled away to take a good look at me. Then he buried his hands on his pockets and afforded to compose himself coolly as if nothing happened. "By all means but treat him like he is your own."

I clapped my hands together and pressed the button to open the mechanical, sliding white door. When it opened, Matt, Ray, Leixa and Mello fell to the ground, quarreling among themselves when they all landed facedown. Quillish appeared and walked to L, handing him something. "A package, sir."

I tapped my foot on the floor, arms crossed. "Well?"

"I swear she forced me!" Matt pointed at Leixa, so did Ray and Mello.

"Sure!" Leixa stretched herself up. "Blame the German spy!"

Mello stood up as well and gave me an uncertain look. "So I am coming to Japan with you...mommy?" the corners of his mouth were twitching.

Ray and Matt burst out laughing. L silenced them with a look.

I glanced at L. "Japan?"

"Matt?" L glanced at the redhead boy who handed me a folder. I took it and swiftly browsed through the content. I was staring at the picture of the "adolescent agent" that I will profile. "Handsome. Too handsome. Are you sure you trust me enough to be around this kind of...meat?"

Mello glanced at the picture as well. "You chose this one, L?"

"I did the observation," Ray explained. "He is qualified enough and his father is in the police force. He is intuitive, a straight A student and not to mention has a way with wrapping people around his finger."

I smiled. "Then Light Yagami, here we come."

**--oOoOoOoOoOoOo--**

We went to the main conference room and sat around "King Arthur's round table." I was still looking at the photo and could not help but kept it up until Leixa started sneaking glances on it too.

"As soon as you accept him, he will be assigned to be my partner." Naomi remarked while she observed Leixa and I giggling over the picture.

"Thanks for the heads-up, Misora!" Leixa winked at her. "Hope you marry Light Yagami and not Ray."

Naomi flinched. "Why are you saying that?"

"Uh, no reason," Leixa giggled and dismissed her with a wave of hand. Near sat beside me on my right. He and I were no longer talking and I took comfort in that. I am still aware that now he has L's permission, he will be even more persistent. Nicoline was on his right with Ray then Matt. L was sitting beside Naomi and on his other side was Mello then Quillish.

L began speaking. "There is a lead pertaining the investigation of Leonard Telesco's murder that is being handled by Agent Penbar and Jorgue. Care to explain the findings, Ray?"

"We have uncovered the reason why the culprit took the journal that was in the possession of Telesco before his death. The journal signifies as an important scripture that is related with the stones. It would seem that Telesco had been recording the bizarre events that happened in unrelated causes. For example, there is the case of the murdered corpses that have writings with the same marks in the stones. He had anticipated that L's life is in danger and before he could warn him, the assassin had struck. We are not yet sure what else is contained in the journal but since it was taken deliberately, there might be more entries there that would elaborate incidents that are connected with the said stones."

L nodded and glanced at Nicoline who took that as he cue to speak. "I have noticed that in the series of strange events occurring all across the globe that the discovery of the stones should have never been initiated. The secret organization, whatever they call themselves, wished to keep it away from the world's eye. Then Telesco stumbled upon them and decided to pursue other findings of the said stones. They were forced to publicize them to take off any form of suspicion. Therefore, they had signed a legal contract with the Mendez business who handles ancient artifacts. What's puzzling is the strings of murders and the corpses bearing the markings."

"Before that, they created a diversion." Leixa steeple her fingers together. "They had used drug smuggling as cover for their attack. When we have been busy following the flow of the drug selling business, they concentrated on sending the lead investigator messages, threatening his life. We have no idea how Telesco managed to know about the first of the two corpses that bear the letter "L" but he was convinced of terrorism and possibly assassination of the world's top detective."

"The murders of these random people are not coincidental." Near spoke calmly. "It is another diversion for the real underlying attack."

"But they do plan to kill L, right?" Mello interjected, addressing Near. "What else would those killings mean?"

Near glanced swiftly at L then he went on, "Upon my investigation with the Mendez family, I discovered that their shareholdings are estimated to earn billions in a yearly basis. The thing that has been occupying my mind lately is the risk these so-called terrorists took that could either sabotage or follow through their diabolical plans. They lead us straight to where they keep the stones. They organized the drug smuggling, the murders, and Leonard Telesco's death for the purpose of hiding the stones. And yet they let us discover Pablo Mendez deal with them. Do we finally have them? Are we really the ones in control or are they mocking and manipulating us? They might have predicted the course of their actions and executed them to make it seem like we all have the pieces of the puzzle. I don't think we do. This is all a state of our minds. In reality, we haven't found exactly what we are dealing with."

Nobody spoke. We were all lost to our own thinking. L bit on his thumb and said. "Needless to say, we must take action."

"I object to sending two of our agents to a country where the enemies might easily confront them." Near spoke, eyeing L steadily. "If we are playing chess and our agents are the pieces, you are allowing them to be eaten by the opponent."

L held his successor's gaze. "I have weighed the dangers of this mission. We do need to gather excellent recruits to be able to pull off an attack. Hence I need Light Yagami and his father on the agency."

"Then send for him now and do not test him anymore if these are desperate times."

"We are not desperate and I still do have to test him."

"And send another recruit? Bold but foolish move on the chess game, L."

"Near, I do know the depths of your concerns but we could either have it my way and nothing else."

"You have made fatal errors since Telesco's death."

"That is not a necessary remark. Hold your tongue."

"Perhaps I was too cruel on that statement." Near's eyes slightly hardened and so did L's. "Putting the stakes into the higher position is the style of a conventional coward."

"Then speak if you could not produce absolute silence, Agent Nate River."

"I shall do what is ordered of me so I shall start with the acts of your mindlessness in the making. Such example would be your motivation propped in the wrong direction of the game."

"This is more than a game, Near."

"Not to you or to me." Near was now smiling the predator smile but his mentor was used to it that he did not bulge. "I would not lay this on you gently, L. You are losing to sour risks and self-flattery."

"You're the one to talk about an expensive ego." L's dark pool inks flickered.

"Yes, we both have the same way of logic though are ways will clash and this is one of those few events when we find ourselves shitting on each other's inadequacies."

"Yes, we do shit on each other now and I don't think we would want to prolong such trivial matter—"

"But we are tempted to."

"Oh?" L leaned a little closer, eyes piercing through his successor's dead ones. "You have been a spoiled, impotent, blabbering fool, Near and I have come to terms of disappointment that you defy me along the way."

"Then you, sir, had become an incompetent, topsy-turvy joke of a leader in this investigation."

"You find me not fit for the case anymore?" L spoke as calm as Near but it was obvious to all of us that they are exchanging a lot of hateful accusations. "Are you sure you are not making it a little bit contemptuous?"

"You are destroying the game."

"Alas! You wanted to fix it!"

"It is the duty of a more suitable player to take over a loser's waste to make ends meet."

"Nate River, I will not say this again. Hold your tongue."

"But you did." Near smile's was ferociously frozen. "You have said it again."

Both heated intellects stayed on their seats but their glares are languid and calm. L's face registered no emotion but his eyes were intense and no longer amused. Near smiled the sadistic smile but this time it was growing into a snarl and his dead eyes were no longer as lifeless as they seem to be. They have hated each other in many more ways than they have respected each other. L broke the silence that hung above the tension in the atmosphere. "They mean a lot to us, Near. Nevertheless we have to send them to sow their own seeds."

We all wondered what he meant by that and then Near spoke. "You are allowing them to be eaten alive by the opponent. Would you risk losing them to the foe?"

"We have to use our resources, Near. We have to put even the ones we cherish in danger if it is essential to winning the game."

"Rubbish, I know about that." Near finally stopped smiling. He twisted a strand of silver hair and sighed. "We have been risking them more than once now but this move would actually kill them."

L turned to me. "Francesca, you would take good care of Mello and Mello would take good care of you. You would look out for each other."

Mello and I just nodded gravely, unable to understand why we were the ones being fought over here. L gave a small smile at Near. It was hardly visible but it was genuine nonetheless. "We will win, Near. Take my word for it."

"Of course we will win." Near did not smile but there was no longer hate when he looked back at L. "You and I always win."

L seemed to be thinking of something but he hesitated for a moment. He slightly glanced at Quillish who gave him a smile and a nod. L nodded back and stood up. He walked to where Near was and his successor looked up to him curiously. L patted the silver locks while he bit the thumb of his other hand. Near seemed bewildered by the contact but he couldn't take his eyes off his mentor. There was no love between them but there was the need to be recognized, to be looked up to, to be appreciated and to be understood by each other. Men like them are not mutual with each other but there is a certain level of trust and respect that could be exchanged in eminent danger and alliance.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, just hug each other already!" Leixa was suddenly up in her feet and pushed L towards Near. It was unexpected and L did not manage to balance himself so he fell on top of Near who could not have enough time to avoid it. The chair hit the ground with a loud thud and Near's eyes widened when he felt himself very close to the man he loathed and wanted to become someday. L was also equally speechless and shocked. His arms were under Near's head, making sure it did not take the fall. He was suffocating the little body of the twelve-year old child and before L could lift himself up and let go of Near from his grasp, a brief glance was exchange and I saw that both of them finally had seen that even though there is hardly love in their parts, there could never be also hatred.

Just that awkward need to be seen.

L finally lifted himself up. Near sat up, twirling another strand of silver hair. Leixa was grinning at them. "Oops. My bad."

Nobody else dared to speak or breathe. This is extremely hard for us to comprehend so we just sat there, keeping our eyes on L and Near who bashfully looked away from each other at last.

Nobody else try to break the comfortable silence that followed between the mentor and his successor. Nobody else but...

"So Japan, huh? That's cool, right, Mello?" Matt remarked, smiling widely.

**--oOoOoOoOoOoOo--**

It was the following day when Mello and I are getting ready to leave the British Port in order to initiate our mission in Japan. I was devouring the pale, creamy vanilla ice cream as I sat there in his bed inside his room, watching him pack. I was already thinking about it but I wondered if I could say my thoughts aloud.

"Near loves you." It came out at last.

Mello grabbed a pillow and tried to bury my face on it. I managed to get off the bed before he could do it. He was obviously angry but he was also blushing. I grinned real wide, still licking the ice cream.

"You say it again one more time, bitch—"

"Near looooooooooves—"

Mello leaped at me and I threw the ice cream at his face then burst out laughing. He growled and pulled me by the legs. I hit the ground and tried to shield myself as he was forcing the pillow down at me. I kept on laughing though.

"What's the big deal? Can't you see you can use this in your own advantage?"

That stopped Mello from suffocating me. "How?"

"Since I got your attention," I sat myself up and pushed him off. "It's called exploitation. Near cares about you and you could use that to beat him."

"You could be vague, you know."

"Well, you could ask him to give up the game between us about Ray and Naomi in exchange of being totally in loooooooooooooove with him!"

"We are not gay!"

"Yeah, I know. Not gay as Brokeback Mountain cowboys though you suit Heath Ledger very well—"

"Bitch—"

"Okay, okay!" I shook my hands in front of him. "You need to improvise, Mello, dammit! You'd do that for me, right?"

Mello looked annoyed. "Could we talk about this after Japan? And how do you know Near wasn't talking about you and maybe L is talking about me."

"Dream on, I'm the girlfriend!" I hit him with the pillow. "Why do you hate Near so much?"

"Why do you?"

"I didn't say I hate him," I fumbled the pillow. "More like, I fear him."

"That's brave, Cheska, go choke on your ice cream." Mello wiped the ice cream back at my face. I screamed and started hitting him with the pillow.

The door opened. Nicoline entered then she exited again, holding the door open slightly as cover. "Uhm, please tell me that you are just on top of him, trying to squeeze the life out of his eyes and not exactly doing anything else but that."

"Go get laid, Virgin Mary!" Mello shouted at her. Nicoline waltz back in and took the pillow from me.

"Just hold him down, I'll do it." She said. Mello pushed me off and then he stood up, glaring at Nicoline.

"Virgin."

"Barbie."

"Old hag."

"Goldilocks."

"Cunt, wad, clitoris, gay porn, sodomy, S&M, grinding, sweating, fucking—"

Nicoline literally covered her ears. "Make it stop!"

"Stop, Mel." I was smiling and could not stop it.

"It's Mello, bitch!"

Nicoline went to the toilet and we heard her looking for something. Then she went out, holding a bar of soap. We both wondered what it was for. Then she grabbed Mello by the ear and led him inside the bathroom. I followed.

"Are you serious?" Mello was protesting. "You are seriously going to wash my mouth with soap? What century did you come from, witch?"

Nicoline turned on the faucet and drenched the soap. Then she forced Mello down the sink. Mello still couldn't believe what she was doing so he allowed himself to be lowered down. When he tasted the soap that was rubbed on his mouth, he pushed himself away and glared at Nicoline. She glared back at him.

"Are you going to be vulgar again, young man?" Nicoline adjusted her eyeglasses.

Mello was really pissed off but then he was also amused by this. He chuckled and wiped his mouth by the back of his hand. Then he stood up haughtily, smirking. "I will show you vulgar."

Without warning, he took Nicoline by the waist and shoved his mouth on hers. Nicoline was instantly paralyzed, her eyes were very round. Mello was enjoying the look on her face as he kissed harder. The door opened again and Matt entered and then found us in the bathroom. Then he covered his eyes with a hand. "Uhm, tell me she drowned and you are just resuscitating her."

Nicoline finally slapped Mello and he stumbled back with a satisfied grin on his face. Then he said to Matt. "Get me my chocolate bar. And what are you smiling about?"

I answered. "Nothing. I am just so happy to be here."

Nicoline run off without saying another word. I followed as expected, she is my best friend. I feel half-bad for taking pleasure from her humiliation but come on, that was her first kiss, I know it was! And from Mello? Eww and whoa!

"Hey baby?" I found her in the empty lobby. "You okay?"

"Do I look okay?" she faced me angrily. "Yeah, I feel just peachy!"

"So we're cool?" I raised my hands up.

Nicoline looked at me hard and then she sighed and leaned herself against the wall. "Why Mello?"

"Told you to kiss that guy who delivered pizza once in our dorm," I said. "If you did, then you wouldn't have to be sulking now."

"Why Mello?" Nicoline kept murmuring. "Why that unlikable, retarded son of a bitch? And gross, soap does not taste good."

"But other than that, it was great, right?" I nudged her in the elbow.

"Would you be mature for once?" Nicoline rolled her eyes.

"What? I think you look cute together—"

"Whoa, first of all, do not go there. I get a rash just seeing him!" Nicoline was saying. "I just want to poke my finger down his throat!"

"Yeah but other than the soap taste and that finger down his throat and him being an unlikable son of a bitch, the kiss went out fine, right?"

"Maturity is a skill you need to practice." Nicoline shot back at me. "I would rather be kissed by Matt."

Luckily, Matt passed by. He gave Nicoline a funny look and then he took off his goggles and said. "Oh what the hell! Come here!"

"Go away, Matt." Nicoline said.

"But you said—"

"I know what I said. Just walk away while your balls are still round and free without my foot on them."

Matt squirmed away. I laughed. "That was some vulgarity there, Sister Nicoline."

"My mouth still tastes like soap if you want some washing." Mello walked pass, biting a piece from his chocolate bar. I restrained Nicoline from jumping him until he disappeared.

"Forget it! He is not worth it." Nicoline adjusted her glasses. "So any news besides that you absolutely allowed me to be molested?"

"Nothing much, really." I replied. "L and I are...well, we are what we are. You?"

"Is everything okay?" Nicoline looked at me worriedly.

"Nothing, why?"

"Must be some life we have right now, huh?" Nicoline let out a soft sigh.

I leaned against the wall as well. "And then another obstacle after another. Do you think he still loves me?"

"Doesn't matter what I think."

I looked at Nicoline. I have known for a long time and I know it must be said. "You were in love with him since the lobster incident."

"What?" Nicoline flinched. "I have no idea why you would—"

"I think we should cool it off, me and L." I looked at my feet. "I think that we could grow if we took things down a little slower."

"Cheska—"

"You could date him, I don't know, if it's possible to have a normal date around here."

"I am not in love with L Lawliet!" Nicoline looked at me fiercely. "And stop it! You are pushing away the one good thing in your life right now!"

"I'm not pushing, I'm not scared, I'm still sane." I said. "I just want you to discover how you really feel about him."

"I feel nothing of the sort!"

I gave her a frustrated look. "Look, Nic, I'm not going to argue about this. I am telling L about how it's going to be before I leave."

"You selfish coward!" Nicoline was angry. "Don't use me as a goddamn shield to protect yourself if you think being with L is hurting you!"

"Do not use my feelings for L as an excuse in order for you not to tell him your own feelings!"

"I am your friend. I am not going to be Peyton Sawyer on you and take Lucas, Brooke, cause you and him are like Haley and Nathan!" she raised her voice.

I laughed at that. "Updated analogy. Nice."

She smiled at last. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Nic, just figure how you really feel, okay and when you do, tell me what you decided. Whatever it is, I will accept." Before she could say another word, I walked away to look for L.

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**Ah, yes! I got to finish this using my roommate's laptop. She is super nice. Now I think for fan service sake, I will keep Matt around. As you can see, I did a lot of TV and movie references just to randomly inform you what I am currently watching (Criminal Minds, One Tree Hill.)**

**Do you think Nicoline and Mello make a nice couple? Should I pair Leixa with Matt? Misa will be appearing so Light is taken. How about Near? Doesn't he deserve a descent gal? And no, yaoi is non-existent in this fiction though I could do innuendoes about it.**

**But if L dates Nicoline and Near looooooooooves Mello and Francesca is flirting with Matt...omigod we got a plot conflict! Omigod, why am I saying omigod?**

**Hate or love Francesca? That is a question that you must answer.**

**Ray and Naomi should make out one of these days.**

**And finally, for the smut scene between Francesca and L, the theme song is "Buttons" by the Pussycat dolls (Get it? Get it? Buttons? Get it?)**

**TIDBIT****: "Hokey Pokey" is also one of the official songs in the soundtrack.**

_**That's what it's all about!**_

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	18. Goodbye to the Female Lead

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**If there is one thing I could say to tell fully how much I feel about the whole experience while sharing this piece of literature to such readers is that I am perpetually honored to be in your presence. There is no trace of hypocrisy in this phrase. I have been pleased to have every review and I do reply back and converse with readers if they want to. I have appreciated the effort you took for reading and reviewing each chapter that I submit.**** You did become a source of fulfillment to me as a writer. There was a time in my life when I have my writings locked only to myself and never shared them to any audience. When I have made an account here in fanfiction, I was surprised to see how my talent has that certain appeal and potential to be paid attention to. Throughout the course of our adventures, you have read my ramblings as a human being in a reality I despise. You have seen how I struggle to reach the standards of my craft. You have all shared your opinions and you have reached out to me and to every reader who has passed me here I did make a very meaningful connection with you. Even those who remained anonymous are dear to me. I am an ego-inflated writer, indeed but no artist remains ungrateful to the public that adores her. But in the immortal words of my favorite song "Halo," I am not an angel who could sustain a perfect image the whole time as I write. I do have these irritating flaws and outbursts that would intimidate you. I have received a fair three critiques in my other stories, stories that I purposefully deleted not because I care about the opinions of those buffoons but because I need to concentrate on my best stories and "Appetite for Enigma" is my best one so far. You might have noticed how well I give my gratitude and mention every new reviewer. I really do this out of the goodness of my heart and because I am trying to humble myself because I should be thankful that readers had the time to choose this fic rather than read another one that doesn't involve this kind of plot. When I have the opportunity to finally clear my head and maintain my level of dignity both as a young woman of seventeen and a learning writer, I was yet again challenged by another negative force. I have discussed about this in the last chapter about the constructive criticism I received. I managed to respond to it using my head. I know my weakness now and I have done some ways to overcome it. Having somebody point it out to me in a review is redundant but nevertheless appreciated. It is puzzling how I calmly took it. I just kept in mind that I have tremendous affection for this story and nobody could rob that away from me. As I have said this is my brother Francis and when you affirm this, you make me remember how much I have spent my time hating him when I was supposed to love him. I am not appealing to pity but you must understand by now, right since you stuck around long enough to see this story reflects my moods, my innermost feelings on subjects and an introspection of my own character when I have developed Francesca Mendez.**

**The Mary Sue labels should stop in fanfiction. I am certainly against it now. When I read a bad story, I don't review it. I just leave it be. The writer should have at least had your courtesy to keep your opinions to yourself if you have nothing good to say. The effort and the creativity should be respected. There are certain lines not to be crossed. If most people are here in fanfiction to show-off and brag about their excellent skills in maintaining a canon character then to some very few people such as myself, my writing is a source of therapy. You are not a writer simply because your story sells and has a zillion reviews now or you have so many stories prepared to fascinate. I have nothing particularly against that. All I am saying is writers like me do not need writers like you. We are in a different league in many ways than one. Let us be short acquaintances now and proceed in what we are pursuing in this arena of imagination.**

**To ****TsukiharaKitty****, thank you for inspiring me. You have drove me back to initiate myself to deeper levels of sheer mental explosion that I so often find in writing this story. Your words offered me encouragement and there is no other way to say how much I thank thee for the affirmation. And my auntie is also around and she provides me the warmth a fragile seventeen-year old girl such as myself is always looking for.**

**The new readers are thanked: Yin-Sid, Noir, shiawase4, deathnotefan, momo and Lily**

**Also to the amusing flamer. You and I are in love now. Stay with me if you must. We have horizons to explore. I major in SPED so I pretty much can handle your exceptionality. Do not hide in the shadows and embrace your diagnosis!**

**Thank you to the rest ****for passing your food associations and your couple preference. I shall be using incorporating them in the future because this story aims 50 chapters.**

**The only hope I have is to still have you all around here. You know who you are. You and I we connect. Don't you all forget about that.**

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**Francesca curtsies off the stage**

Blurred visions started to possess me. I have recalled nothing comforting or the sort and when I have achieved a small amount of consciousness, the first fleeting feeling was nausea. A second or so passed and I recognized the unrealistic sore parts in my body that ached from no recollection of a justifiable reason why. I was sprawled in a bed somewhere. The blankets were pulled up only to my waist and I was lying on my stomach. The single light that shone from a layer of window was even darker than the normal. I could hardly keep my eyes open. I was drowsy and was not thinking. I tried to move but my body refuses to gain control and the buzzing sound in my ears is making it worse. The sore aching of some regions in my exposed body persisted on being noticed. With an effort I managed to massage a portion of skin in my inner thigh that I felt was bruised. Then it occurred to me. I bolted up instantly and realized that I was completely naked. My hair that used to be an inch above my waist was now shoulder-length. I was feeling sick and my body was like dead for a day or so. I could not move my legs. I glanced down a little to see that there were restraints around my ankles and they were painful. I tried not to panic when I saw that they were metal wires tied securely and every movement makes the pain excruciating. Before I struggled to get free, I weighed the whole scenario as accurately as I could. First was self-examination. I tried not to concentrate on recalling where I was or how I ended up here. I dealt first with what parts of my body are hurt. My thighs are one example. I consider the possibility of rape so I slowly searched any evidence inside me. The wet folds have no indication of force entry and it didn't seem to hurt when I placed my two fingers in there. I did not feel blood or a presence of semen. My thighs must have hurt from some other way. I tried to relax and breathe. I did not even try considering crying. It wouldn't make sense to feel miserable for something I have no idea what I should be upset about. I was obviously being taken hostage. I remembered the facts. I stayed lying on my stomach, drumming my fingers on the pillow beside me. I touched my hair afterwards. I closed my eyes but nothing came to me. I could not remember exactly what the hell am I going through. The facts, I told myself, recall the facts. My name is Francesca Mendez. I work for a government agency with the lead investigator as my boyfriend. I went to Japan to recruit another agent and I was accompanied by another colleague. If I was now in Japan...wait, all I remember was traveling in an aircraft that landed in Japan...was I actually walking in any city in Japan? If something along the way intervened with that, then did I see the faces of my captors? How hard did I fight back? What measures should I take to release myself and find out where I really am?

I was terribly fatigued. The confusion was flooding over me but I shook it back and swallowed hard. I tried some further recalling until I was sure that I definitely did not even have the chance to check into a hotel in Japan. When I was sure of that, I tried remembering about Mello and if he was also here in this place. How else could I know about that? I checked the restraints around my ankles again. I tried to move my left leg slowly and the wire buried slightly in my soft flesh. I let out a small growl. It fucking hurts. Whoever the bastards who did this, they know what they are doing. This is a calculating abduction that is planned in advanced. Examining the possibilities now, I say they need something from me and since they are keeping me alive, they haven't got anything yet. The question of torture now enters. I did another examination but it was useless since I could not see a darn thing. I did feel like my shoulders are pulled out somehow and the bones are nearly sensitive to any twitch. My torso is numb and feels cold. When I tried to breathe, the upper portion of my body feels all tingly and not in a pleasant way. I feel disgusting and hungry. I feel like I have been here for more than two weeks. Now there is no comfort in that. The one thing I wanted to scream about is my hair. To alleviate the tension, I jokingly thought that if somebody would cut my hair if I don't give them the information they needed then I would surrender and give them what they want. So the conclusion would be that they cut my hair while I was knocked out. And I am knocked up pretty bad since I barely remember anything useful.

I was now thinking about Mello. I hope that he is doing okay if ever he is kidnapped as well. I also realized that nothing would decrease the danger I am facing especially if I am bound and unable to take action. All I could do now, as terrifying as it may seem, is to wait patiently. My mind is rather stretched and I was begging to fall asleep again but I could not afford such luxury since I should now be alert or I might not get out of here alive. People die in this kind of situation. And you don't die easily. It is one hell of a painful process. While I was lying there, I was thinking if this is not the first time I woke up like this and if I have experienced several instances where I wake up, recalling nothing then go back to sleeping and then wake up days later, not remembering about the previous event when I have realized what pain I have gone through. If that is the case then I wouldn't want to close my eyes anymore. Something was forming hollow perceptions inside me. It was like a nightmare you could not escape. It was spreading all throughout me and I am really scared.

I hear nothing but my stable breathing and I am still stubborn about crying. The whole thing is tearing me apart. I just want to snap and call out for somebody. I need to know exactly what my chances are here. Yes, I was becoming desperate, minute by minute, second by second and I felt like my whole being were like seams being pulled away sadistically until the final thread is undone.

To save myself from going crazy, I drifted into memory lanes. One of them was the time when I last saw L and the decision I made to rescue our relationship that is starting to fall apart...

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I know that when he saw me, he thought I was trying to say goodbye. He waited for me to approach with his back hunched the way it always did, his eyes sleepy but intense like they always are and with his thumb nibbled inside his mouth. As I took every step closer, my toes wanted to bury themselves in the ground. I could not help but feel almost oblivious. Everything is a horrible spin of events. Everything is tiresome and mind-breaking. I don't know what keeps me sane anymore and I know that if it was him, I wouldn't be doing something like this. Nevertheless I decided to stick to my decision. When I reached the destination, he met my gaze eagerly and he saw the hesitation. He did not ask about it but waited for me to say the first phrase. I am not good with introductions so I just got to my point right there.

"Nicoline has feelings for you, L and I think you should consider discovering if you feel the same way she feels about you." My voice was surprisingly calm and I was angry for sounding so inhuman on a delicate subject.

L tried to understand why I was telling him this. He might have perceived already about what Nicoline feels about him and he might have expected me to know it as well. Though I could tell he did not expect this.

"You want me to consider a relationship with her that I already have with you?" he asked me in his usual slow tone.

"She is my friend and as you can see by now, we are having a struggle in our relationship and I think we should take a time-off so we could learn some things about ourselves and if we want it to go on." I still sounded so darn inhuman.

"I know for a fact that you make me happy." L answered me truthfully but he also did not show expressive movements when he spoke.

"Sometimes happiness is not enough."

"Perhaps you assume correct since in our line of work there are more important priorities." L replied. "What could I benefit from this proposal of yours?"

"I am leaving for Japan so you have plenty of time to get to know her more and see if you might actually...gradually..." I was finally out of words.

L gave a stern look and said, "You are not making perfect sense so let us dismiss this naïve state of mind—"

"I don't think I am well-balanced about the whole thing." I finally let it out. "My family is in total mess and I kept thinking about them and I get so angry about it because I am just here as one of your chess pieces and waiting for you to order me around. I really need to know where I belong in everything you put me into. I want to know just how important I am to you because I have no idea if I want to keep doing this with you if we are both so away from each other. We are not like any other couple and for a time it was exciting and original but L, seriously, what is the percentage of success that this is going to work? Just how confident are you that we won't screw up and become resentful of each other?"

L did not say anything so I went on. I was finally releasing it out. My hands were trembling and flailing around as I speak. "I am not pushing you away. What we need is space. What we need is some kind of button that says 'stop.' I want to think more about this because it would a shame, a darn shame if we just did this for nothing. L, really, I have never felt so overwhelmed and delirious when we click and we get each other. I am in love with you but it's not that simple. I thought I could go on, taking everything being thrown at me but the more the deception and the mission is getting heavier, the more I want to just run off some place and cut you lose. I need to know what is going on with my family and yet you don't even trust me with that. Can't you see how bad this is making us become? We are—just not that happy anymore. And I hate it...I hate it...I want everything to be...perfect...but it..."

I was crying. Shit. Stupid slut. Why the hell are you crying, you baby?

"Francesca, don't." He took my hand and squeezed it. I was busy wiping the tears away. "Don't be so sad. I don't like it. And you cannot force this all on me. You matter to me but yes, the mission matters more. We know our priorities and I understand if you are confused. Though I don't think making me build a new relationship would fix it."

"L, I just need a back-up plan if—"

"There is no easy access in relationships and you taught me that." L said. "I said that you make me happy. You have to understand there are not many instances in my life or people in my life who grant me that."

He let go of my hand to take my face with both of his hands. He looked into me in the only manner he could. "I am sorry but I really must protest. There is no other person to me that could make me fall in love like this again. And you're still here and I take confidence in that. There is hope and I am not giving that up. You could go on with this depressed state of yours and that is all up to you. I won't let this affect or stand in the way with what I always wanted to have with you. You doubt and I will understand. You complain and I will hear you out. But don't you dare...don't you dare tell me..."

I remember not breathing as we stared into each other for a long time.

"Don't you ever dare tell me this is not perfect because for what it's worth, I am contented with this imperfection. I have been trying to perfect everything in the way. But this single thing that is so imperfect actually makes me happy. I wouldn't have it in any way else."

Then for the first time, his eyes were sad. "I wouldn't want to have anybody else too."

We stood there, holding onto anything. I said. "Do you love me?"

"Francesca, you have nothing else to fear." L smiled at last. "I told you that I believe exclusively in only one thing and that is we only truly love someone for once in our life span."

He let go of my face and took my hands. "So yes, young lady, the answer has always been yes."

I smiled back at him. He widened his and said. "I love you."

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I heard a loud, banging in my head that I couldn't shake off. So far I am still conscious and I took that as a very good sign. I wouldn't want to risk passing out or I may wake up with one finger missing in my hand or something like that. I was also trying to get a good look around the room they kept me in, thinking of some means of escape. I still have no idea how to untangle myself from the wires. I tried to sit up slowly. I first tried to lie down on my back. It was not easy as it should be. The metal wires were too sensitive to each movement so I end up gritting my teeth as I moved, feeling each pain sear to my delicate flesh. When I finally got to the position I want, I sat up and examine myself again. There were no indications of sexual abuse. The skin of my upper body seemed okay. My breasts were not bruised. My waists, hips and thighs felt really painful so I glanced down to see purplish bruising on all of them. This is was more than just rape. I wasn't raped at all but I was definitely tortured. I closed my eyes and whenever I try to recall or grasp any retention, my head would explode. I stopped thinking too hard and proceeded examining my ankles. The skin was really torn and the bleeding is constant but not serious. I rubbed the sore parts in my body gently and tried to breathe and relax. I have to think of survival now. I have to take the needed measures in order to stay alive.

God, I am also famished. If it has been more than several days then that could be trouble. I need to eat something or at least have a drink. I searched around to see if there is water. The room was still dark and I noticed that newspapers were covering the window. I tried to reach out and peel them off. Having done this, I looked outside and saw that it was morning. Okay, now the facts. I have started working for L since May. Last time I checked it was the early week of June when I left for Japan. Could they be looking for me now? Am I the only hostage? I finally looked at the room. It was not what I expected. I expected a dusty, old room with cobwebs and stuff but this one is a room with aluminum walls and a vent system. The door was also made of metal and I got the illusion of being in some sort of mental institution. Being clinically insane is the rest of my worries. The only thing that is a little off is the window. A room that is obviously a compartment tightly secured should not have a window. This is giving me the creeps and I don't know why but there is something unusually eerie about this place.

Maybe I am losing my mind.

I throw myself back in the bed. I covered my body with the blanket and stayed looking at the ceiling, wishing desperately that this mundane torment would end.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Ray had been observing me through his champagne glass. It was two hours away before the flight. I was casually sipping my own red wine when I have noticed him looking. I smiled rather timidly and inquired. "What?"

He chuckled softly and replied, "You shouldn't drink too much. It's dangerous to be intoxicated while in the plane."

"Oh, I am intoxicated all right," I eyed my own glass, leaning my elbows on the ledge as I adjusted myself from the stool where I sat. "In more ways than one."

He frowned at that. Then he reached out to tap me in the arm cordially. I turned to him and listened. "Francesca," he began.

It was the first time he called me that. He went on, "You were very mesmerized with L when you arrived here, don't you remember?"

I smiled. "I was always mesmerized with him."

"What happened in the way then?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I sighed and placed my hand on my left cheek, leaning my whole face on that. "Somewhere in the way I fell in love and then things got hazy and stuff."

He tightened his hold on my arm as he spoke, "You have been a lot of things lately. We haven't known each other that long but Nicoline tells me a lot about you."

"You've been taking good care of her by the way," I answered rather languidly. "How are things between you and Naomi?"

Ray chuckled at that. "Don't change the topic at hand. I was simply saying that you seem to be a very showy girl according to Nicoline's stories about you. Not in context of course but you seem to hide your heart under your sleeve and then show this obnoxious girl on the outside who thinks she could do everything."

"Obnoxious makes me unlikable, right?"

"Exactly," Ray let go of my arm and crossed his arms now. "You ought to be disgraced by now especially after all L has been putting up with."

I drank the whole contents of my glass and glared at him. "Shut your selfish little mouth, Ray. How dare you speak like that about my life and about L?"

I tried to stand up but he held me back again. He said, "Francesca, if you really believe you need to be away from him then tell him what you want and stand ground. It's obvious that even after you told him that you need space that he doesn't want to let you go. It shows that he loves you—"

"He is suffocating me and so are you!" I jerked his hand off me. We looked at each other for a long time, neither stopped. "Just what the hell do you take me for? Your Naomi?"

He didn't like that comment. "You and her go in circles and there would be a time that L and I would be tired to put up with your BS."

"So this is about Naomi!" I said rather triumphantly.

"I know about you and Near's game and that is the most selfish, egoistic game I have ever heard of." Ray sounded a little angry. "Naomi knows about it too and do you think it makes things easier for us?"

"Do you love her?" Suddenly I was feeling guilty.

Ray said nothing. He sat there with his handsome face grim, his blue eyes steady while his arms remained crossed. He tapped his foot slightly on the ground as he adjusted his trench coat. He cleared his throat and said, "Tell Near to back off. You could willingly walk away since you are not as a bastard as he is."

"If you know he is a bastard then you will also know that he won't walk away," I added with a little force. It was useless since I was feeling sorry about Ray and Naomi. I had been leading Near on, encouraging him that there might be hope for us. I asked Ray. "Do you think Near really wants me for himself?"

Ray finally released a sigh. He stood up and placed his hands on my shoulders to look at me in the eye. "Near needs to back off."

I silently agreed to that.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Exhaustion was more than draining, it's irritating. I wanted to be unconscious now since being awake in a secluded, empty room is starting to bore me. Maybe this is mental torture and I certainly want to give in and surrender now. My eyes are feeling droopy again but I force myself to stay awake as long as I could. There is nothing I could do to release myself from the chains. Nothing is just simple now and everything that should be done is left undone. God, this is so annoying! I feel like screaming now. I was almost going to cry.

Then the expected happened at last. I heard the door unbolt. I did not show any sign of movement as I waited for one of my captor to come in. The door slid open with air pushing through it. The sound of the wind against the metal was hardly audible. A pair of boots came in. I try to focus my eyesight on the person in front of me. Dammit, they even took my eye contacts out. The light did not reach the face of my captor so I had a hard time looking at it. I adjusted a little in my position and was holding my breath. Then the boots stepped closer.

"_Are you ready to talk now, Vita?"_ The voice was a man's and he was speaking to me in Italian. I just blinked and my throat felt dry. I squirmed to the edge of my bed post and waited for him to approach me again. I quickly wrapped the blanket on my body. I felt rather stupid and helpless. I didn't like the feeling.

"_You can't hold your tongue for long, Vita."_ He was creeping closer and I wish to sink away somewhere. There is something so eerie about him too like this room. And the way he calls me by my second name adds to the parity of mystery. I try to see if I knew him but nothing in gestures or the sound of his voice made him familiar. So why the hell is he calling me that? I desperately wanted to be in another place like some sort of a paranormal universe.

"_You should be soft by now, Vita, like a rose petal in spring."_ His voice was husky and thick as though he might be either drunk or poetic as he spoke, "_It will be all over soon, Vita, just be versatile and we will get rid off the chains."_

What the hell does this ugly fuck of a man mean by versatile? I trembled when I felt his fingers closed around my ankles. The sensation of pain was back but this time I know he is familiar. With a strength left I kicked him away. He chuckled and seemed to be enjoying this pleasant exchange. I know he is familiar. His touch is too familiar. Although I know I don't recall anything yet, I have a good feeling he is the man who had been torturing and interrogating me. And by the looks of it we had an awesome time together. Creepy.

"_Vita, you should not avoid the circumstances that might lead to your freedom or perdition," _he still sounded pensive and that didn't help uplift the spirit of this room. I shrugged visibly and pulled the blankets tighter around me.

"_Be good now, Vita. We are your friends, not your enemies."_ He added.

"Gee, comforting," Funny how I manage to reply sarcasm so offhandedly. I am still shaking though and I knew I am plenty of scared. He can see it and I hated that he did. He edged closer and reached out again to my feet. I did not move, too weak to endure another painful encounter of skin and chains. I heard something snap and I knew that they were removed. I was supposed to be relieved but I knew that the horror has just begun.

Thoughts raced my mind like a sickening circular motion of an amusement park ride, particularly the teacup ride. Why the hell am I thinking of kiddie rides right now? Right, I was trying to divert myself. I heard him picking up something and turning something on. The light could hardly reach the corner where he stood, his back turned to me. I heard some buzzing sound like static. The muscles in body suddenly responded to that sound as if they knew what is coming next. I swallowed and tried to breathe. My torso was sweating and shaking like hell and I have a good feeling that this will last for a long time. I heard him walking towards me again and he was holding god-knows-what. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stayed there, not uttering a single phrase.

I decided to talk to him in Italian. _"Are you part of the family?"_

He said nothing. He was awfully silent now. I tried again, louder this time, "_Are you part of the family?"_

Then a searing sensation overtook my nerves. I felt the sizzling and the buzzing and this time they were vibrating in my hips. I didn't even see it coming. I did not have a concrete idea what it was I was being put into. The agonizing convulsion of my whole body went on and I was starting to see nothing else but the dark. I knew that my hands were flopping uncontrollably and my fingers and toes were going numb. The blood refuses circulate in my legs and I could hardly feel anything but the vibrating, scorching pain. My chest felt like it was caving on me. Then it stopped. If I would be sensible now, it took only about ten seconds, the whole experience of that. Now I know why my torso hurts like this. It took a while before I got my sense of rationality back.

I heard his voice cut through, _"Vita, where is your brother?"_

I wanted to ask which one but I have a clue who it was and that my tormentor and I have been talking about him since day one. I felt really stupid not to remember anything. And I feared that if I passed out once more, I will wake up in the same ignorant manner I just did. I felt him adjust his gloves as he slightly placed down the instrument on the ground. Then he picked it up again and pressed the ends together, producing another buzzing and this time, a blue energy. I shivered as I watched him do this. My body was also being a coward. He slowly placed the instrument between my thighs, one end on each thigh. I tried to pull my legs up to cover myself but my nerves are dead now. I couldn't even keep my eyes open.

"_Vita, this is very painful for the both of us so please tell us where Pablito is hiding."_ He was taking his time. I was losing hope as every millisecond passes.

"I really have no idea," I said first in English and with enough strength, I screamed at him, "_Shame on you, siding with terrorists!"_

"_Who do you think sent me, Vita? What do you think is the purpose of all of this? I don't care about your life now as a spy or that arrogant L. I only care about where Pablito is, Vita."_

"Who the hell are you?" I was starting to lose it. My brain could no longer process and function. "What the hell do you want from me?"

"I want Pablito's location," He finally said in English.

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!" I was actually crying now, murmuring softly. I was really scared. I felt like I was going to die soon if I don't move fast.

He sighed as if he was frustrated then he brushed the end of the metal on my inner thigh. I moaned in both fear and pain. There was no electricity yet but my whole body was dreading it.

"_I will keep you safe, Vita." _He added now and he sounded genuinely reassuring. "_You will be safe here. There are dangers out there, dangers you could never comprehend just yet. It's better to stay here until we eliminated all of the sinners, Vita."_

"_What are you on, crack?"_ I answered him defiantly. _"If you really are not my enemy then why are you doing this? What the hell do you want from Pablito?. Leave him alone. Don't come near my family, you sick fuck. You—"_

Once again the electricity came through my skin and this time I try to hold on to any amount of sanity I have as I screamed, feeling the flesh on my thighs being cooked, smelling the burning of it as I lay there helpless and almost dead.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

The day Ofelia came to my father's life seemed to have offered a comfort irreplaceable. She was wearing a satin peach dress that day when she entered the house. She was accompanied by her three sons, all carrying their baggage as they chat animatedly among themselves. I was only nine and was nursing Diego in his crib. Ofelia had opened the door wide as she walked in the room. She removed her hat and placed it down on the table near the window. Her smile was radiant and sincere when she wrapped her arms around my neck and faced me to look at her. She looked me in the eye and I remembered feeling nothing but recognizing the aroma of her beautiful skin almost paralyzed me there. She took one hand of mine and placed it between her warm ones. Then she said to me, "I will be your family now, Francesca. You and I and your brothers will be together forever and ever and I swear to you, I will love you like you are my own."

I did not understand why this woman is speaking things like this. I could hardly bear her presence. I wanted to tore myself away from her thoughtful eyes and make sure she would not hold Diego. She finally stood up and crouched on the crib, adoring my baby brother. She reached out a hand and Diego's small fingers closed around her thumb. It was almost heavenly as the light behind the curtains draped itself around them. I heard Diego giggling and my stepmother laughing along. I just stood there, bitter for no reason. I knew I had to get rid of her. I felt like this will change everything and I don't know why I don't like it even though I saw how much my father felt contented with Ofelia by his side.

As for his sons, Diego became very fond of them and them with Diego. I was starting to be accustomed of the delight and noise they brought back to the house. I believed it was healthy for a growing boy like my baby brother especially if his sister is morose like her half-brother Pablito who would just sit by the big window still and read our father's books.

"Pablito, when is Papa coming home?" I asked him one time during a hot afternoon while my brother Diego who is now six and was playing with Alfonso and the twins.

"He is in the market with Ofelia, is he not?" Pablito would not lift his eyes from the pages of his book.

"Tell me a story," I sat opposite him, pulling up the hem of my long _bestida_ as I looked through him some more.

"I have nothing to tell you today, _prinsesa,"_ he answered languidly.

"That's fine, just read to me."

"Why?"

"Because you are like Papa when you read and I miss Papa."

Pablito finally looked up at me, his young boyish face glowing because of the sun. He pursed his lips, thinking and then he nodded. He never smiles just like our father but when he does it was worthwhile. He scanned some pages and then started to read. I pulled my knees to my chin and listened. After some time I was yawning so I told him that he could tuck me to bed if he wants. Pablito still remained impassive as he nodded and helped me get to the bed. He removed the blankets from the edge of the bed and pulled them up at me as I lay there.

"Promise me something, _prinsesa,"_ he said almost grimly as he fixed the pillow beneath my head.

"Anything."

"When I'm gone and you don't know where I am, never cry." Pablito always sounded so melodramatic but I got used to it. I just nodded and let slumber flood in. I really have no idea what he meant by that for years but now as I lay there, convulsing, my muscles colliding and my nerves prickling, I thought about his face that hot afternoon and the way his eyes remained on the page of his favorite book, his posture lean and his skin glowing because of the sun. I thought about the day I was in his bed, watching him for a while there before I finally closed my eyes and fall asleep. I thought about Ofelia and my father and wondered when Papa is coming back home and when he never did, I could only remember the look on Ofelia's pained expression as she explained to me what happened and I remember too that Pablito just stood by my side and said nothing. That was assurance enough.

And I never cried then.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"I guess I'll see you when I see you." I was timidly muttering as I stood there on the stairs leading to the airplane. L was on the ground, two steps away from where I stood, looking up serenely.

"Take pleasure on this convenient travel, Francesca." L said blankly. "It might be your last."

"I hope to God not," I winked at him. "And this gorgeous Light Yagami might promise some new course in our lives."

L raised an eyebrow. "Put an ice on it, young lady."

"Certainly if you will come here and allow me to kiss you."

He nodded at that and stepped up. He allowed me to place my arms around his neck and pull him into one last kiss. I memorized the details of his face, the sound of his breathing against my mouth and the feel of his coarse hair on my fingertips. When I pulled away, he looked at me quizzically.

"I have told you before that red lipstick could leave a stain," L said. "And you shouldn't french me when you are wearing one."

I laughed as I watch him wipe his lips with the back of his hand. I pressed my fingers on his cheeks and kissed him once more. He tried to avoid the contact but he stood still instead, afraid of losing balance. When I pulled again, he glared at me slightly and wiped his lips rougher this time.

"Don't be moody right now," I giggled. "Kiss me again."

"Here," L lifted up the end of his white sleeve and started wiping the lipstick with it. I allowed him. Then he took my chin to turn my head to left and right. When he was satisfied, he kissed me hard on the mouth that we almost collapse there.

"You could always do that behind closed doors!" Matt was shouting as he helped Quillish with the bags. "And hidden cameras!" he snickered.

"I should have a recording of this and upload it as a moving screensaver." Leixa added.

When L and I pulled away from that breathless encounter, he was sort of blushing and scratching his head, saying, "That wasn't supposed to be like that."

"We wouldn't have it in any other way though!" Matt thumbs up.

"Shitface, we're leaving!" Mello called to me, waving me a chocolate bar angrily as he disappeared inside the airplane.

L gave me a small look of defeat. "So you are going now."

"Looks that way," I was unable to move.

"Okay." L said.

"Right." I replied back.

Goodbyes are so not our thing.

"Shitface!" Mello called out again.

"Manners, Mello." It was Near. Great, he actually came.

I glanced at him as he stood there, twirling his hair. His eyes met mine and he gave me a small nod. I nodded back. This is the kind of pleasantry I wanted from him all the time.

"Grow up, Near!" Mello finally answered back from the earlier comment.

"I say the same to you." Near replied.

"Drop dead, Near." Mello did not allow him to have the last word.

I turned around to enter the airplane then looked back again to wave goodbye at Naomi and Nicoline who were smiling and waving back. Ray and I exchanged another meaningful glance and then we nodded. Leixa took a picture of me. Matt had his goofy grin again as he waved hard.

As the airplane was preparing to leave, Near shouted, "I say the same to you too, Mello!"

Mello was about to answer back stubbornly but the airplane was too loud for him to be heard. He hated it when Near gets the last word. He sunk back on his seat and is now doomed to be depressed for the rest of the trip.

I looked at the horizon outside and had a distinct feeling that there is a strong possibility that whatever this comfortable feeling is, will end abruptly.

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**Baby, I am done! I am so sorry that I was unable to update this. See, I have been so busy in my college priorities that I took a rest from the computer. Now I am able to upload this chapter first. Then one of these days I will upload the next chapters for "Our Choice of Wardrobe" (sorry, kaitouangel) and "Her God is my Enemy." Then alas, the final installment for "Dirty Little Whore." I ****will also have two brand new stories. Keep me in your author's alert list to check that out!**

**Francesca would be bye-bye for now. The POV will spin around with the other characters and I hope you like how the story is taking another route. And yes, L and Francesca is still a permanent pair although Nicoline, after Franc****esca's absence, might fill in the gaps. Oh-oh!**

**Reviews, keep 'em coming!**

**Apparently****, according to my notorious flamer, my imagination is filled with sexual compulsions.**

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	19. Scar of a Prodigal Son, Mello's POV

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**YOU ARE NOT BEING FOOLED, THIS IS THE REAL THING!**

**Oh baby, I was so inspired that I forgot my promise to take a break from writing since my ****midterm's exam is fast approaching. I need to do some serious English Proficiency again. They (loose term for those who do not appreciate my craft that well) asked me to get a beta reader. See, sometimes my grammar sucks. How did I ever become a writer? Well, no formal training is required. I just have a very active imagination and a seething hatred for reality. You guys know Enneagram? Well I am number 4 there, THE INDIVIDUALIST. It's some personality test. Reading the description of that type of personality freaked me out because it described me perfectly. You could check it out in the Internet if you are curious to know your personality type as well. Wow, this is so random. No one cares, Harley, shut the fuck up. **

**There are people who are bothered with the concept of "World of Sights and Sounds." They did not really like it that I am venting out angst through a story. Well, whatever, I really want to continue that story so like I said, humility is always very essential but pride as a writer comes first. ****SunMoonandSpoon**** and ****Ricchan**** were right. I should not stop writing. I could not abandon the readers. I shall be progressive and will try to improve on my English grammar. After all, that is a pragmatic requirement to be an effective writer. **

**The reason why I updated this at last is because of the story I have read entitled "****Friend or Foe****." It was written by Spotofpaint and has 25 chapters and I recommend it to all L and Light fans. It's not yaoi but all about friendship and it was poignant and it really made me cry. L was so loveable there. And they are kept in character and it was surely something different since it really focused on what could have been if they really were best friends. Still, there is the same Kira-wants-to-kill-L and L-wants-to-catch-Kira sides of the plot and it was an enjoyable read. Wow, random again. Shut the fuck up, Harley.**

**Now this is CHAPTER NINETEEN. I have no time to delete the previous one with Nicoline since I think it's better not to erase it. I appreciate your opinions regarding that subject. So where were we so far? Right, Mello's POV. I hope this will all be a source of entertainment. I have given my best shot for the quality of this chapter!**

**Oh shit, right…I would like to thank the following for reviewing: WishingYouWereHere, Seynabou, Yume Mikage, Pirate Shinju, michiyo drops, SUPAXLiner, Rin, Shanessa, ZolfUchiwa, Mela-Chan818, Lawlipop and Nekowa Momo**

**Here we go!**

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**The Scar of the Prodigal Son**

I heard her say, "Mello, run!" before the whole world just became opaque before me. It was the last phrase that was exchanged between us. I knew that my legs did not understand the words completely because it took few seconds before I made a move. I didn't even want to follow her command. Darn bitch, does she really expect me to leave her now? I wanted to pull her away from the men who just started shooting at us at the exact time our feet hit the ground after a two-hour flight in the dark skies. I walked before her and when both of us were on land, loud gunshots came out of nowhere and in every direction. She managed to react faster than I did, slapping my head down with her hand as we fell to the ground. She was the one covering me while I was lying on my stomach. Right at that moment I knew I didn't like the big sister role she was playing. I did not move though until the firing stopped. Once the faceless attackers were reloading their massive artillery, I got to be in the upper position by rolling her over. She was below me now, glaring at me. "Don't be stubborn, Mel."

Moronic chick with lack of grace, I said my name is Mello. There are no cute shortcuts to that name. When will she learn? I get off her and pulled her to a safe location that I found under the stairs attached to the aircraft. We hid there while I tried to reach for the bag that contained our guns. When I got my hands on it, we started filling the bullet casings as quickly and as accurately as we could manage. We waited for another shooting to start so we could shoot back but there was nothing that came next. We exchanged a slight confused glance and then I asked her to come out first and I will cover for her since I know I might be the better shooter. She chuckled and said, "Chivalry is a painful trait to acquire, Mel."

"Just get outta here!" I pushed her out and she just kept grinning. We started to trail the empty space, hands gripping our automatics tightly. I called out to see if Quillish is alright and he said he was and he was now calling for back-up. I circled around with Francesca in front of me. We were trying to move as stealth but as alert as possible. I heard her say. "Keep your eyes open, Mel. This people want something and I don't think it will be pleasant to give that away."

"Don't lecture me about that and keep moving."

I saw her visibly shrug her shoulders from behind. As we were circling around like two blind idiots, I started to drift into other channels of thinking. I always hated girls. When I think about the fact that I am working with them right now for this mission I get a persistent rash. I really don't like being around that uptight white bread French brat and that Hitler Hoe. Naomi is easy to tolerate since she never makes eye contact or try to make me acknowledge she existed. But incredulous as this may seem, Francesca is actually nice. Yes, bloody hell I just said she is nice. I, Mello, with a foul sailor mouth just called a girl nice. I could think of other adjectives to color L's so-called girlfriend. Nice still keeps popping in my head. Just what the fuck is with me to call her nice? Okay, it might be because she was not as annoying as I was expecting her to be. She is quite...word...word other than nice...oh, crap...I'm starting to get irritated with this...I think I want to say something insulting but I couldn't. Truth be revealed I actually like Francesca.

Bitch has a way to get to my softer side. Right, like I have one.

She makes me feel nice. Compared that to a third-degree burn and a long-lived hangover after three bottles of vodka, the third-degree burn and the headache is mild and looking pretty good. Francesca is an itch, a pleasant itch that you enjoy scratching because it just...just.,.feels fucking nice! Nice! _Nice! _I am going to pull the trigger of my automatic and shoot myself in the spinal cord.

"What's on your mind, Mel?" Francesca finally stopped walking when she was convinced there was no prominent danger anymore. I did not completely relax but I loosen my grip on my gun and gave her a death glare.

"Bite me." I scoffed. She chuckled at that.

"No need to get emo, Mel."

"What _emo_?" I shrugged in disgust. She didn't answer me though and proceeded back inside the plane. I followed her and saw that she was also lost in thought. I rudely interrupted that by stomping my foot on the platform. She didn't really care to pay attention and I don't like that. Then she turned around slightly and I saw a strange movement in the corner of my eye. I heard Quillish say something inaudible and then he leaped out all of a sudden. I heard broken glass. I got to turn around just about the time a gun was pointed at my face. Then I glanced back at Francesca who was coming at the attacker behind me. She kicked him hard and he stumbled slightly. At that particular second, I have a chance to get away. The man was no longer blocking my access to the door. I did see that there were three other men behind Francesca who grabbed her. A long hard glance was exchanged between us. Cold sweat was pumping in my pores.

"Mello, run!"

For a time I just stood there and then like a coward without preamble, I did what she asked. Darn it, why did I just do that? Too late, I was running and I didn't care to look back. I saw Quillish in the same pace, talking in his unique walkie-talkie (a state-of-the-art invention by Matt) and he was running just two steps before me. He was understandably agitated. I finally stopped at my tracks when rationality flowed right back to me. "Francesca!" I yelled. "I need to go back there!"

Quillish managed to restrain me with strong fingers pressed around my wrist. "The back-up is headed this way. Fall back, Agent Mello, fall back. They will handle this."

I pulled away. "No! I'm going—"

I heard the aircraft explode. The fire and fume mixed with the air made it an intoxicating blend of heat and acid. I ducked down just in time and so did Quillish. We were also yards away so we managed to survive just fine. I knew that they had taken her with them and when I lay there in the ground I heard a helicopter. I looked up, eyes still adjusting.

We were too late.

Fuck.

I fucking messed up. Near is going to be so darn happy about this. I am going to kill that son of a bitch if he tries to make fun of me. No time to think of that. Francesca is abducted. And I promised L I will also make sure she is safe.

Fuck!

Just fuck it!

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I have every reason to hate everything right now. I did not see it coming and it still gets to my nerves when I think about it. I don't know what pisses me off more: the fact that I was there and I could have kicked ass or she was just gone without a trace and nobody could find her. I feel sorry for L when I saw how rigid and how indifferent he had become again. He was trying to hide that blow to his confidence. It was more than to since Francesca is his girlfriend. I would be mad if I was—hell, even when I am not in his position, I'm still angry. Nobody seemed to know what to do with her disappearance. The incompetence of these bastards makes me want to go ahead and do it myself. Things have suddenly become sinister when plans were blown of proportion. L had reached a decision that I should still go to Japan despite the eminent danger. He believed that Francesca was the main target. I asked him how the fuck could he say that candidly. He answered me with a stern look and ordered me to take Misora on the mission. I really am bothered and feeling like shit but I could not disobey him. I was relieved that the classy Misora will come instead of that hoebag Leixa. I'd rather choke on a chicken bone. I kind of miss Francesca. She was the only one who is not boring. Well, if add that uptight wasp Nicoline, we might get somewhere. Speaking of the devil, I have noticed that she and L were hanging out frequently. Misery does like comfort after all.

"Don't be a pussy about it, Mello." Matt told me oh-so-eloquently once. "If you like to talk with her, go ahead."

"And talk about what, man?" Seriously.

Matt shrugged his shoulders and went back to work with his computer software bullshit. I was completely moody these several days since there was no progress with the search parties that were operated by Quillish. It had been two weeks and there was still no sign of her. I was really starting to worry and I kept reviewing the incident in my mind, like a freaking slideshow I couldn't escape from. It's just pathetic to blame myself but I stepped back and did just that.

I know I should mind my business but I have to admit that seeing L and Nicoline together is bothering me. Near noticed me one time while I am brooding over the lounge, waiting for Misora to finish her packing. Leixa was being her dumbass self that day and she was insisting on braiding my hair. I have the impulse to shoot her point-blank but since I was even too tired to curse at her, I decided not to do anything at all. She finally saw that I was really in the draining mood so she decided to talk to Near instead.

"Suppose Nicoline finally mastered the courage to confront L at last, would it be suffice to say that L was also giving it a try?" Near was saying suddenly and it was totally irrelevant to Leixa's opening question, "How's your work?"

I stirred from his phrase and shot him an angry glare. "What the hell are you up to now, Near?"

"Tower of Pisa," Near answered. "This is a fine piece of architecture. You could see that I am finding it a hard time slanting the tower itself—"

"Oh grow up, Near, I wasn't asking that. I couldn't give a rat's ass about your damn hobby."

He said nothing further. I was really pissed now. "Hey, Near!"

"Yes, Mello?" he answered back smoothly, fingers carefully placing another layer to support the foundation. I tried not to get distracted with what child's play he was doing and pampered him with more questions. "How could you be sure Nicoline likes L anyway?"

"Uh, duh?" It was Leixa who remarked. I ignored her.

Near twirled a strand of silver hair before he replied, not even addressing me, "Suppose I say I orchestrated it and gave her the motivation to pursue L?"

I stood up from seat and clenched my fists tightly. "Then you're a dead man, Near."

"Hardly likely."

"Don't think I won't try."

"I know you would," Near finally met my eyes. "What is it to you anyway? Are you some sort of a guardian now to preserve the romance between our mentor and Luisa?"

"Fuck you, Near."

"Then why are you reacting so violently—"

"You know what, you back off." I pointed a warning finger at him.

"But why?" he was inquiring almost pleasantly. It was sickening.

"You are hateful so I won't say." I sounded immature but who cares, I know I don't. Near is an unbearable smug son of a whore.

Leixa just sat there, legs crossed, grinning and amused. She tapped her fingers on her lap and her gaze did not falter away from us.

"Tell me this, Mello." Near was speaking again in his monotone way. "Suppose I demand from you a good reason for your seemingly defensive ways, what will your answer be precisely?"

"I hate you." It was enough statement for me. Near did not stop working with his stupid tower. I watched his every move and said nothing, keeping the pace of my breathing normal as possible.

He did not question my statement. He proceeded on, "You like her, don't you?"

Leixa was giggling. I still ignored her.

"You don't know which one I am talking about, don't you?" Near continued. "That usually depends which of them you care about most."

"Near?"

"Yes, my dear Mello?"

I really wanted to punch him but I said, "Go fuck yourself."

Near still moved his hands about, placing pieces on top of each other. "Undeniably a better option that present company."

I stormed out of the room and did not look back. Leixa blew me a nauseating flying kiss and drifted into a cheerful conversation with Near.

Losers.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I never really see Nicoline smile too much but when she did it struck straight to the core of whatever I have. I was leaning against a wall at that time when she walked pass with L beside her. He was telling her something, probably something happy since she kept on smiling and laughing. I narrowed my eyes and watched them carefully. L had his hands shoved inside the pockets of his faded jeans. His back was hunched and his features were drawn and gaunt as usual. Nicoline kept her eyes steady on his though and he returned her smiles with the same enthusiasm but he was quiet about it.

They sat in one of those long benches on the other side close to the lounge. L breathed a sigh and I realized he must have been really distressed after all that has happened. Nicoline looked at him worriedly and they talked some more. After a while L caught me looking at them and he regarded me with a slow nod. He wants me to come closer. I hesitated, wondering what he could want from me. Maybe he wants to wish me luck in my mission.

I've always admired L. People who have gotten to know me were shocked when they found out that a man like L, with his deep-set, brooding eyes clouded with lack of sleep, with his body in a crooked posture combined with a relentless habit of oral fixation is somebody I respect and look up to.

"Hey." I muttered almost to myself.

"Sit with me, Mello." L motioned to his left. I can tell Nicoline was watching and curious but I did not look at her as I sat beside L.

"Are you nervous?"

"More like pissed." I wasn't exactly comfortable talking to him about things like this would Nicoline listening. L could see that visibly but he must have something else in mind.

"I'm afraid that you think I ought to have cancelled the mission." L said, eyes fixed intently to my own. I winced a little but kept my face straight.

"You must be very angry at me." L spoke softly now.

"Never," I was not entirely truthful about that.

Nicoline sensed something in us that made her excuse herself to get something to drink. When she left, L watched her leave until she finally turned to a corner and disappeared. Then he faced me and with a sudden, uncalled gesture, he poked my face with his finger. He was indicating the burn in my left eye, a scar from years ago, and the sign of my rebellion.

I instinctively jerked him off. L slightly frowned then he poked me again. I was not sure how to react so I just laughed nervously. "Stop that, L!"

"We'll find her soon," L almost whispered. "I want you to count on me with that."

I gulped and looked at the floor. "L?"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember what I did to you before?"

L regarded me with a gentle, almost child-like smile. "Not entirely, care to elaborate?"

I made a face and he poked me again. I stood up and glared down at him. "Don't be so fucking insensitive and stop doing that!"

"Sit down, Mello. Let's talk about it."

My tense body relaxed a little. I sat beside him again and he turned his whole body to face me. He even sat normally to allow that. Then seeing that he couldn't do it, his eyebrows furrowed then he sat back with his feet up again. Then he turned to me again just a little bit and said, "Can I poke you again, Mello?"

"You are such an adult—" he was poking me again. I was making annoyed faces at him that he ignored then he slowly pulled away his finger. This time, with the same hand, he brought it at my face where the burn was seared permanently. My heart skipped a beat. L was touching me. His hand, those spidery fingers were cold. He traced the scar with his thumb, circling it around my eyes as he gazed at me with a methodical fashion like a doctor doing a diagnosis. Still I felt strange.

I was blurting out incoherently, words I wished I said before. "I was stupid. It was rash. I know I should have said I was sorry but I shut you out. I shut everything you were trying to tell me. And you really weren't saying anything. And I was mad. I was mad because you weren't—you just weren't saying anything to me since then..."

My throat hurts. Stupid fucking gesture. L pulled out his hand from my face and looked at me some more with a slightly bemused expression in his face.

"Well, Mello, I'm sorry." He sounded sincere.

"You don't say that! You don't say you're sorry!" I clenched my fists and stood up away from him. "Scold me, yell at me, disown me! Anything but apologize. It wasn't your fault!"

"It wasn't yours too." L bit on his thumb, his dark eyes almost hazy from this angle.

"I—I should go," I made a move to turn my back away from him. Then I heard him stand up. I did not look at him. I started to walk off and I knew he wouldn't stop me like the last time.

And he never did.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Misora was taking a long time packing her things. I stormed inside her room to find Ray was talking to her. They were in the middle of something, probably another tiring argument. I told her to hurry the fuck up and then left without saying another word to the both of them.

I wanted to go somewhere else, somewhere far. Leixa and Near were still on the lounge. I debated on going to Matt and decided otherwise. I entered the clinic to look for Dr. Andy, hoping she could give me some ointment because my scar was hurting again. So very Harry Potter, so fucking annoying.

I was surprised to see that Nicoline was there. I scowled silently and looked through the medicine cabinet, ignoring her.

"Damn it!" I cussed through my teeth when I prick my finger on some broken glass. "What the fuck?"

"Are you bleeding?"

"Mind your business." I sipped the blood moodily.

I tried to see what she was doing now. She was walking towards me then I glared at her and she stopped abruptly, just standing close by.

"Let me take a look."

"I said—"

She was fast though. She immediately pulled my hand to her and I did not protested as she applied some anti-disinfectant on it or something. Her hands were cold too, just like L's...

I looked the other way and muttered. "Where's the doctor?"

"On a break." She answered me gently as she let go.

Nicoline peered at me some more. I know why she is looking at me like that.

"You wanna know where I got it?" I pulled a stool and sat on it.

She said nothing.

"A bomb explosion six months ago."

"Oh," she simply said.

I rested my feet on top of a bed and ignored her when she asked me not to do that. She decided not to contradict me further.

"You have that face, you know," I remarked. She blinked at me. "You know, the kind of face you just feel like telling everything."

Pathetic. I was starting to sound pathetic and sappy.

"You don't have to tell me," she quietly answered me back.

"Shut up and just listen." I like being rude to people but when I become rude to her I was suddenly embarrass. I averted my gaze and continued to speak. "L is already known to many government agencies in Europe. Near and I were being trained to succeed him. He had a lot of cases working good for him and he works like a dog. So sometimes he'd bring us along just to show us how it is being done. I enjoy L's lifestyle. I want to have that kind of life. I knew though that he favored Near more. Nobody points it out but I always feel the need to compete for his attention. Near could easily impress him and he's a smug about it too."

I hastily shot a glare at the opposite wall. "I hate Near."

I run a hand through my hair and wondered what she would tell me. Nicoline was sitting in front of me now, hands folded in her lap. Her eyeglasses were reflecting the light coming from the ceiling. I observed her for a long time. She looks really pasty especially with the lack of make-up. Her long raven hair was tied in a ponytail, fully exposing her face. I observed her for a long time, comparing her sense of style to that of Francesca's. She wears long sleeves all the time and khaki pants, anything that screams conventionality.

On the other hand, Francesca wears skirts with shades of either red or leather brown. Sometimes she wears a one-piece black dress with a plunging neckline. Her hair was always falling to her waist, curled at the end. Eyes were wearing green contact lens and thick eyeliner. Lips were painted with lipstick all the time. She was like a Halloween Goth doll. When I think about it Francesca is good-looking. She wasn't that skinny either, always had those noticeable curves. Puzzling how L could resist touching her.

Sitting there thinking about the way she looks and comparing it to Nicoline's prim and proper appearance, I still wonder why I find them in the same level of attractiveness. Dammit, now I am talking about beauty. Totally pathetic and sappy.

"Go on," Nicoline said, breaking my line of thought.

I tried to recall where I was then I said, "Near gets L's pampering and approval. He sees a promising future for Near. It's not like L ignores me or anything. He's just soft towards me. When I don't get something right, he'll say that it's okay but I don't like disappointing him especially if Near makes right what I do wrong."

Nicoline just nodded.

I absentmindedly touched my scar. "Six months ago I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I was young and lavish but I told him that I don't want to be his successor anymore. I knew I lost that position to Near already. He didn't even say I was wrong. He asked me instead what I will do next. He was testing me so I left. I left everything and went back to Yugoslavia with Matt's help when we hijacked a helicopter. Matt wanted to stay with me but I demanded him to go back. He could still afford to have a face to show to L. I feel that I will lose more of my dignity if I stay back here."

Nicoline's lips curled into a sympathetic smile. I slowly removed my feet from the bed. Then I placed them down on the floor, leaning my elbows on my knees. She didn't move or stir.

"I joined a mafia group. I disposed my brains and skills to plunder and blackmail. In all those months L never asked me to come back although he knew darn well where I was. He expected me to do it by myself but I want to prove him wrong. And then they caught up with the Mafia's activities after two months. We decided to take drastic measures once they apprehend us. I programmed a bomb that would destroy the evidence. When the time comes they arrest us, I would just click the button."

"And you did."

"Obviously," I answered sullenly, scratching my scar mildly.

"And did you come back?"

I snorted, the answer was obvious.

"Why did you come back?"

There was a slight pause.

"I was sorry," I almost said to myself. "I was proud of what I did and I thought I didn't regret it. Quillish accompanied me back here. When I saw L, I was angry, I got emotional. It wasn't what I planned but I just cried to him. He just stared at me and said nothing. I told him I'm fine being inferior if that's how he sees me. And you know what he said?"

I knew my eyes were gleaming with amusement. "He asked me to pull the chocolate bar from my pocket and give it to him. When I did, he started unwrapping it and then he took a bite from it. He told me that he always believed in my good taste in sweets while Near never likes sweets. It was like he was hinting there are still things I am better than Near and that he believes in me much, much more."

I closed my eyes. "It was just that. It was enough for us, I guess."

Nicoline pushed back her glasses to the bridge of her nose.

"Okay, therapy's over then," I stood up quickly, wiping off an imaginary dust from my pants.

"I wish I could help," Nicoline remained seated as I made my way towards the door. I stopped."

"You did enough," I hid the smile behind that. Good thing she wasn't looking or she might catch a glimpse of it. I closed the door behind me.

I really do like Nicoline.

And as Matt said, I was being a pussy about it.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

L handed me a small package as he begin to enumerate the amount of chocolate bars inside it. I was paying attention although I kept a blank face. It was a nice thing to do especially coming from L. Just one hour to go before Misora and I would go to Japan. I have just brought one bag with me like the last time, stuffing it with clothes and anything I felt like bringing. To my dismay, Leixa arranged them without my permission. She took time folding the clothes properly. I scoffed at it and swung the backpack around my shoulders. Ray asked me to be careful and I was relieved that he didn't ask me to take care of Misora since I am no longer that confident with that area.

Near gave me some stupid pearl necklace. I was about to bitch about it when Matt looked at it and said loudly, "Isn't that Francesca's? I heard she gave it to you, Near."

"You heard well," Near looked at me.

I snatched it from him and wanted to throw it right at his face. Then I threw it on top of my head and decided to wear it. "You're only getting this back when we find her."

It was almost like dẻja vu, walking to the airplane again but this time with a different companion. Everyone was solemn since we all know these are desperate times. I let Misora go in first as Quillish helped her up. I took one final glance at the others. Ray just stood there, eyes on Misora the whole time. Matt was waving wildly, grinning as usual. Leixa blew me another flying kiss. Nicoline was as impassive as ever but I could see her clasping and unclasping her hands.

I caught L's eye.

"When I come back, I'll have Light Yagami ready for the job, I promise!" I called to him. "I won't disappoint you again." I did not wait for his answer and disappeared inside. The plane was preparing to launch.

I sat on the coach and held the package with both my hands. Then I tore it off eagerly. As L had inquired, they were twenty bars, individually packed. I was about to eat one when a note fell from the inside. I reached out to pick it up. It was L's handwriting, all right.

_Always remember that your scar is only something you wear in the outside while some of us wear it in the inside._

I laughed. I really couldn't think of anything else. This is too corny. Then I caught a glimpse of my reflection on the window. I saw the scar etched there in the left portion of my face. Usually angry blue eyes would appear as well. But I did not saw them this time.

I knew it. I was being pathetic and sappy after all. I started to think that there is still hope in everything and right now it comes with chocolate.

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**Was that too short? I really just want to expand further on Mello's feelings for L, Nicoline and Francesca as well as with Near and Leixa. Nothing much here in this chapter but I still hope this is pretty interesting. As you have read, I altered the situation when Mello gets his scar just to keep it in line with this AU story.**

**So Nicoline and Mello should be a pair then? Interesting.**

**Next chapter will be Nicoline's POV. I hope that one would be better than this. It's sort of hard since I was so used to Francesca's POV. But we need change and change is often times good and uplifting.**

**Review, review! You know you wanna…**

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	20. There's only ME, Nicoline POV

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**It might seem like I have formulated the ****NicoLawliet**** pairing to mock all of you but with Francesca gone, this event is inevitable, and don't you see? And no, Nicoline is not a bad friend and a bitch. She had always been there for ****FraLawliet**** all the way. I won't try to justify her further. This is her POV after all so you could see for yourself if she deserves either your love or hate. Nonetheless, I understand those who do not really like the character of Nicoline.**

**I would like to thank the following again for the new reviews: ****simiashslittledemon, ****0Eyes-Wide-Shut0, ****Kaiya-chan13**, **also the anonymous: Hitomi and Tisthee**

**I know I shouldn't spoil you a lot but just to keep you guys still interested in the story, I may share the outline of the POVs. You guys ready?**

**Chapters **

**19- Mello (err...you already know this)**

**20- Nicoline (what you are reading right now)**

**21- Near (cuz he is adorable)**

**22- Leixa (cuz she is obscure than the others)**

**23- Leonard Telesco/Pablito Mendez (this is worth reading for the story's plot and development)**

**24- L (how much does he really love Francesca?)**

**25- Light (gasp)**

**And then Francesca's return is on 26. You didn't really think I'll keep her violated in some godforsaken place, do you? I am not that awful to my female lead. I just need her to disappear for a while to add conflict to the story and of course, to give chance to the other characters. **

**This is Chapter Twenty.**

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**There's only me**

Cheska told me once that she adores white orchids. Then she would ask me what kind of flowers I like for my wedding. She said she likes her own bouquet to be white orchids and that everything should be white. It is hard to picture a girl like her to go for the conventional wedding. But all girls dream of grand white weddings like that so it really wasn't that unusual. The strange thing was I don't want that kind of conservative wedding at all. I haven't told anybody about this, not even my best friend but I wanted to get married on top of a very high mountain in some exotic land. It doesn't have to be Mount Everest, really, just a snowy mountain. I want to wear winter garments with a blue scarf and blue gloves to keep me warm. I want to have a ski gear as well to complete the look. My groom would wear his own winter garments, whatever color he prefers. Then once we did our vows, we would ski down the mountain, holding hands. So I haven't really thought about the flowers. But nevertheless it should be a beautiful white wedding in the snow. I haven't told anybody about it since I want to save myself from sounding foolish and unrealistic. I haven't told a single soul, somewhat ashamed that my dream would be far from attainable.

Then I told L about it.

He was drinking his morning coffee that he poured kindly for the both of us. As soon as we are settled, I hesitantly narrated my wedding dream. He no longer sipped from his coffee as he kept his eyes on me the whole time. He really has those piercing, dark eyes that seem to read now into my very fears. He waited for me to finish then he took a sip from his coffee. He gazed at it with a weary look as he placed it back down the table. He picked up his fork to slice a piece of cheesecake from the plate in front of him. He raised the fork up to his face and did not immediately devour on it. He looked back at me and asked almost innocently, "Do you see anybody up there with you this time?"

I could not hide my displeasure. I certainly don't want us to dissect that dream by every inch. He seemed really amused by the whole thing and he kept his fascination in check, regarding me with a mild expression from his pale features.

"I see Cheska there with me, the priest and my groom."

"So I wasn't present?" he sounded almost hurt.

I blinked several times, trying to weigh down the words to say so he wouldn't suspect. The truth is it had only been this week since the wedding dream has surfaced again and it was only because I was thinking about Cheska and then my mind drifted to her question about wedding flowers. I tried to keep my voice calm and my mind clear from abstractions.

"Well, I want to keep the wedding private and so selected people are invited."

"I am not part of the reception list now, Nicoline?" he was biting thoughtfully on his thumb. How could he make it sound easy? Can't he see this is just wrong and awkward? Sometimes L is unnerving and insensitive.

"I'm not even sure if I will find the one I want to marry."

"You haven't found him yet?" L inquired. "Here I was thinking you and Ray are getting along pretty well—"

"That is not even a good joke!" I tried not to blush as I keep myself steady on my seat. "You know about his feelings for Naomi."

L chuckled a little. "Those two are like children."

I sighed. "Yes and they really are just taking things slow. So don't go pairing me with my work partner. Ray is a real good friend but there is nothing else to that."

"But where am I in the list? Not even your groom's best man? Or even Francesca's date? How about Ray and Naomi as well? Leixa would be one of your bridesmaids just like Naomi. It would be something sweet if Near becomes your ring bearer and Mello...since he does look like a girl...he could be the flower girl. If he hears this now he will definitely tell me that I prefer Near more and that kind of lie will make me sad again. So it's safe to say Matt could be the flower girl instead. He certainly likes to fool around with stuff so he will agree to throw around flowers for fun."

I listen to him as he explained so offhandedly. He seemed to be enjoying this and it was embarrassing for me. Not to mention he is encouraging my foolish dream.

"As for me, I want cake." L kept going on, "A big, white, fluffy cake with pink ribbons in the hem. Then I will take each slice from each layer first. That is, if it's okay with you, Nicoline."

"Huh?" I was no longer paying attention. I was just watching him, lost in my own thoughts.

"Can I be the first one to eat your wedding cake?"

"I don't think there would be any cake."

L's eyes actually rounded. "A wedding without a wedding cake is a crime."

"Not during the wedding of course!" I countered. "We are on top of a mountain, the cake would melt..." I trailed off when I realized I was also playing into the fantasy.

"True," L nodded vigorously, understanding the logic. "Then once you ski down, we will ski down with you as well. Then we will gather around the snow with the cake precisely in the middle. And Ray would prepare wine, he is an excellent oenophile."

"L, stop, it's nothing worth thinking about." I shook my head almost sadly.

"But when will you and your husband have your first dance, certainly not during cake time. Cake time is special."

"L, please—" To my dismay I was giggling now. He was funny especially the way he is taking the whole thing seriously.

"Ah, of course, there would be dancing. Ray could dance Naomi by that time. Mello could dance with Francesca and even Near. I would dance with you after you dance with your husband."

I turned bright red at last. "But why?"

"Because I paid for the wedding, you see!" L's eyes glistened.

"You wouldn't." I averted my gaze, feeling warm all over.

"But I have the right to pay for it since we are now making plans." L pouted a little (it was cute) "So you and I will dance."

"How about Cheska?"

"Weren't you listening to me? Mello and Near could dance with her first." L explained slowly to me. "You and I would dance first. Quillish could even walk you in your snow isle to your groom during the wedding proper."

I was blushing hard and he was just looking at me like he didn't even notice it. I cleared my throat and said, "I would appreciate that, L."

"How about the flowers?"

I blinked. He was now asking me about the flowers just like Cheska did before. I was not sure how to answer.

"The traditional custom would be the bride tossing the flowers to the fortunate maiden who will soon marry after her, isn't that correct?" L was sounding deliberately childish. "So what flowers shall you have? And if you do toss it, will Francesca ever catch it?"

I looked back at him and asked. "Do you want her to catch it?"

He must have expected the question but he still turned pink when I asked it. He scratched his head and nibbled on his thumb. He didn't have to answer or maybe I don't want him to answer. So I asked something else.

"Don't you think that this kind of talk is embarrassing?"

"Why? Girls like weddings."

"But not men."

L thought about that. "You should not lose hope on thinking it will come true. I find your idea original and creative."

I just said nothing. I was not sure if I should take that as a compliment.

"Do you know Francesca's idea for her wedding?" L asked it with a lowered voice, as if he was not sure if he was supposed to be asking it.

I ended up laughing loud. He turned pink again. Then he regained his composure back and waited for me to stop laughing. As soon as I did, I told him about it.

"It really isn't a surprise." L remarked. "Francesca is a daring girl. Most of the time girls like that get tired of the excitement and when they are prepared to settle down, you'd be shocked to find out she is just a really simple girl who wants an ordinary wedding day."

"And the same thing applies to me," I answered. "Since I am not the outspoken type, I tend to go for an exciting setting when it comes to my wedding day just to do something different."

L nodded with a small smirk. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Nicoline. See, that wasn't so bad after all. We should have more conversations about your inner feelings someday."

"Why would you want that?" I sounded defensive.

"You are entertaining to have around." L frowned, seeing my reaction. "Don't you like keeping me company?"

I stared at his unblinking wide eyes. Then I looked at his whole appearance; his crouching sitting position, his mouth absentmindedly sucking his thumb and his feet without shoes.

"I do," I responded softly. He brightened up with that.

We heard a beeping sound from one of his computers. L clicked the button and Matt's voice boomed loud, "L, something bad happened."

Another beeping sound. L pressed the next button. It was Quillish. "They attacked the plane during landing, L. I got to alert the other rescue team and they are on their way to find them. There is bad news—"

"They took her, L! They took Agent Luprecci hostage!" Ray came stumbling inside the control room, his face was almost colorless. I sat there, horrorstricken. I felt like gravity was leaning hard against me. Ray looked at me and then at L whose still facing the monitor, listening to Quillish as he explained the details.

"I understand," L sounded so distant. I couldn't get a good look at his face for his rough-edged bangs covered his brooding eyes. "Send Mello back so Dr. Andy could take a look at his wounds."

"I'm fine!" I heard Mello's voice in the background. Then he protested and wanted to come and look for Cheska. L refused and Mello cussed loud, thrashing something.

"Mello, return to the base." L said firmly. Then he pressed the button, speaking calmly, "Matt, can you locate unregistered aircrafts in the sky around the Pacific Coast?"

"Yeah, I could nail that."

"Thank you. Once you attain the information, reach Quillish on Route 23."

"Will do, L."

Another beep. Ray approached us and placed his hands around my shoulders, squeezing me gently. My eyes remained downcast. My hands were trembling and they feel stone cold. I watched as L methodically responded to calls as the reality of it was just turning obscure.

"We'll find her." It was Ray who was speaking to me. "Hold on right there, Eva. It will be okay."

I was looking for L's assurance. He sat there with his knees pressed to his chest, hands clasping on his knees, eyes still fixed upon the monitor. He was waiting for Matt's beep or Quillish's. Leixa and Naomi came in, followed by Near. All of us gathered around L, throwing our own solutions to the problem. Ray, Naomi and Leixa were arguing among themselves. Near was watching me and I was watching L.

After hours the beep we were waiting for did not resonated. Then a week passed and nothing brought Cheska back.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"It wasn't your fault, Mello."

Dr. Andy was changing the dressings of Mello's wounds gently as the blond boy sat there on the bed, obviously aggravated by the events. I was also just there in the clinic. It has been a week now.

Mello has a scornful face since he came back. He barely spoke to anyone. He had been arguing with Near frequently. He was avoiding L.

And he was following me.

When I entered the clinic to find Dr. Andy there, he was just behind me. I wanted to catch him in the act but he simply muttered to the kind doctor that he needs a change of dressings. I was wondering about his peculiar behavior but I have been preoccupied with my best friend's disappearance so I did not analyze this.

I left the clinic as quietly as I could but Mello gave me a hard look when I did. I ignored him and went looking for L. I passed the control room and peered inside. He wasn't there. I looked around. The white tiles of the place make it seem like some kind of a sanitary institute and the medical air did not make it appealing especially during these times. I walked inside the circular tube attached to the main conference room where we used to talk about the case. I was wearing a wool jacket that day. Come to think of it, it was the red wool jacket that Mello wrapped around me when we were just standing there in the lounge, listening to Matt's findings. It came as a surprise gesture since I really wasn't saying I was cold. Somehow he sensed it and the next thing I know he had it off and he placed it on my shoulders. I did not want to be impolite so I decided to wear it around. It was helpful, yes. The cold was incredibly sickening.

I pushed open the door to the conference room to find L standing over the chair he used to always sit on during discussions. He knew I entered but he did not acknowledge me.

"Are you sure it's safe?" I asked him without an opening remark, "Is it really safe to still go on with the mission?"

"Mello can be very resilient to danger." His voice was undetectable.

"Is it that important to have this Light Yagami on our team?"

He said nothing. He walked forward to the next chair, hands shoved in his pockets. His eyes narrowed as if he was examining some debris.

"I'm worried about you." I said honestly.

"You need rest, Nicoline." L took a swift glance at me.

Mello left with Naomi two days afterwards. I was thinking about what Mello revealed to me when we were alone in the clinic one time. He opened himself to me and it was weird. I don't understand why he would do that. Maybe he misses Cheska too and he wanted to feel assured that people still care. This was also hard for him since I knew he got very close to Cheska since they started hanging out with Matt. I wonder how I feel about this. I know that I am not a very imaginative person and I am glad I am not. I blocked out Leixa's statement that day in the lounge. "They are torturing Luisa horribly, I could tell."

If I think too much about it, if my mind wanders to that destined location of fears and anxiety, I may have to hold onto something and cry. I do not want to think about it. I was being a coward. But I rather want to find her now, well and alive. I don't want to punish myself with images of her being...I try not to. I was being selfish, scared of feeling the pain. But Cheska had always been so strong...if she was being hurt, where does that take me? I was never really a fighter. I was never really sharp-smart to begin with. So I don't like it if people around here would try to console me about what possibly terrible is happening to my best friend. Truth is I wish we never left America. I wished we were still together in our college dorm, looking forward for the humdrum lessons in class. I know she would not settle for a normal day, that's how Cheska is wired. But I could. I could because at least in that world we are both safe and I love her and I just want her back right now.

I keep seeing L as much as I could. He was still L. Nothing really changed from his grooming appearance to his eating habits. But just like Near who devoted his whole time working on his biggest architecture yet, just like Leixa who entertained herself by reading a Robert Ludlum novel, just like Ray who walks around the port, delivering reports and processing developments, just like Matt who is working on a new software day and night since the incident, L is also trying to find something to lessen the pain. And of course, he eats even ravenously than before. Sugar must be doing a good job soothing him.

I wonder how I could comfort myself. Everyone here was in a state of detachment, absent from their inner souls, desperately going about, looking, feeling nothing and yet despite the efforts and the temporary fancies that could distract them, they know that hope is closing its door.

Another week passed and there was still no sign of our comrade and friend. Mello and Naomi are due to come back in the base within three days.

It was midnight. Everyone was not sleeping but each of us found respected places by ourselves where no one could bother us. I was already in my pajamas and decided that after much twisting around my bed I will never get to rest. So I decided to get some cold water. I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of mineral water. Then I don't know what happened. Maybe it was because it was dark and the light coming from the fridge was the only thing distinguishable. Maybe I was frustrated because I wanted to rest. Whatever the reason was I just started crying. First it was a whimper and then it gradually turned into a feat of uncontrollable sobbing. I closed the fridge door and remained in the darkness.

"Nicoline?" It was L. I don't know where he was but I wish he was close. I wanted him close.

I gulped on the bottle of water and then sighed, trying to decrease the contraction of muscles in my chest. I was still crying.

He was just near, maybe just around me. I felt his breathing. Then I raised my hands up and I ended up clutching his collar. He was just standing there. I slowly tried to compose myself. He waited.

Then I said. "I wish I could do something."

"We are all powerless for now."

"I don't want to be!" I clutched him tighter. His breathing smelled like winter air. I like the scent especially right now.

He ran his fingers through my hair. Then I felt his lips touch the small portion of my scalp. I got to calmed myself down at last.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Me too, I am so sorry." I closed my eyes, "I love you, L."

A second passed and nothing more.

I rested my head on his chest. His fingers were still on my hair. He rested his chin on top of my head and just breathed. I closed my eyes, drowning everything that doesn't make sense.

"I'm sorry," I started saying again.

"I'm sorry too," he answered. "Very, very sorry."

He lowered down his hands to cup my face so he could look at my eyes. I looked up at him, the darkness made it hard for me to see him clearly. He came down slowly to kiss me gently on my lips. I was suddenly weak in the knees. Then he kissed me longer but his lips remained faintly pressed against mine.

I remember thinking I wanted him close to me. I want to take it back but I just couldn't.

I reached out to pull him closer. I kissed him hard on the mouth. He hardly resisted but he kept us close together just as I wanted it. Then I pulled away and rested my head on his chest again. Another moment passed. And then another. We kissed again. This time he responded back eagerly. Then he pulled away minutes after that. He stepped back, his feet silently echoed.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"It's okay, Nicoline."

There was another lull of silence.

"Would you like to eat some cake with me?" he asked.

"Okay."

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Near was almost finished with the Tower of Pisa. It was made with thousands of white Lego pieces. He was obviously proud of his accomplishment. Leixa was suggesting that to keep the foundation supporting the slight tilt of the building, Near should place something to further support it so it won't fall down.

Near answered very strangely, "But I want it to fall down, you see."

"Why would you want that?" Leixa frowned. She was looking weary these days too. Her perfect blonde hair was uncombed this morning. She hasn't slept well like the rest of us.

"It would be something of a domino effect if this great structure falls to pieces." Near was still speaking in riddles.

Leixa did not mind. "So when it does, what will we get from it? I mean, you work hard to finish this, why would you want it destroyed?"

"What are you saying, Leixa? It's just a toy." Near was smiling slyly. "Toys break and wither. I find that there are more important things to be taken care of. Don't you?"

"I don't know," Leixa answered truthfully as the two of them stared at the seven foot construction of the Tower of Pisa.

I wish Near would make me a labyrinth so I could lose myself there and never find my way back.

I found L in his office, munching on a chocolate bar that I ultimately recognized to be Mello's favorite. He motioned me to sit beside him. I kept standing in the doorway, not moving an inch.

Then I walked to a drawer. I really did not feel like facing him.

"Mello and Naomi are going to be back today." L spoke nonetheless. "They finally brought Light Yagami."

I opened drawers absentmindedly. I kept trying to forget about the incident a night ago. When I opened the lowest drawer, I saw a big velvet box inside. At first I thought maybe it was a music box. So I pulled it out and opened the lid. There was no music. I stared inside. Then I closed it. When I faced L, he saw what I have done.

I really didn't have anything to say. I just stood there, holding the box.

L stared at me, his eyes flickered mildly. All he said was, "I love Francesca."

"I know," I replied. I placed down the box. "I'm really sorry."

"Me too, Nicoline."

I eagerly met Mello that afternoon when he entered the lounge. I hugged Naomi and let her talk with Ray in the corner. Leixa just gave a grin at Mello who nodded back. Matt was behind him, patting him cordially on the back. When there were finally just us, I handed him back his red jacket.

"So where is the famous Light Yagami?"

"With L."

Mello was looking at me curiously, perhaps wondering why I was talking to him nicely.

"Who wanted these?" Matt pointed at the white orchids Quillish brought to the room. I happily took it.

"Mello, do you want to help me water the flowers?" I asked him.

Mello timidly smiled and said okay. Matt was winking at him.

We walked side by side together. Near and Leixa were looking at us suspiciously. I hugged the white orchids closer to me, thinking bravely with all my heart that Francesca is going to be safe.

"Say, Mello."

He looked at me as we walked around.

"What do you think of snow?"

He scoffed. "I hate it. Near always liked white stuff and winter is also one them." Then he eyed me slightly. "Why did you ask?"

"No reason," I smiled warmly at him. I noticed that he felt comfortable so he shifted his gaze.

"I love snow too, you know." I remarked almost dreamily.

Mello blinked at me and then he softly muttered. "I guess I could like snow too."

I didn't know if he thinks I knew what he meant by that but I kept pace with him as we walked. I was also smiling because right now I was certain. I was certain that I am not going to cry like that again.

And maybe Cheska would be home soon, back here with me.

"I really love the snow," I repeated, looking up slightly at the ceiling. Then I giggled. Mello just watched me. We stopped at a corner. There was a hose there. I asked Mello to hold the orchids for me. I turned on the faucet and sprinkled some water on the plant. Mello kept his eyes on me the whole time.

"Why are you happy?" he must be confused by now.

"You like the snow now right, Mello?" I teased. "Because I like it?"

I haven't done casual flirting before but I think I was doing it right since he blushed wildly right on the spot and didn't say anything.

"You're weird," he muttered simply.

I suddenly jerked the hose to his face. "What the fuck!"

I laughed. He angrily shot me a glare and then somehow he stopped glaring because I kept laughing. I never felt this good.

"Welcome back, Mello." I finally said.

He blinked again and run a hand through his blond locks. "You're weird."

I shook my head good-humoredly and took the orchids from him. "Not really."

I gently played with one petal of the flower. "You're just really sweet to me, Mello so thank you."

"That's—what are you—whatever," Mello turned away from me but I knew he was as red as the color of his jacket.

I giggled again.

_Wherever you are, Cheska, thank you._

_I know you'll be back soon._

_Till then I will believe you're okay._

_And when you come back, we will laugh about this._

_Because that's just the way we are._

_Always._

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**There you go. Finished. ****These POVs are really nice to do. It gives me plenty of insights on my other characters besides Francesca. So I do hope you got what the interaction between Mello and Nicoline was suppose to mean and also Nicoline's sudden change of mood when she found that mysterious velvet box. There are so many hinted emotions here from L, Near and Nicoline too. I hope you guys got to feel it since I did not really made it directly obvious. And can anybody guess about the "sorry's" between L and Nicoline?**

**You could also see the difference between Mello and Nicoline's POVs. Mello thought nobody was sad about Francesca's disappearance except him. But Nicoline, being sensitive to others, narrated that everybody was just concealing it.**

**So tell me what you think of this chapter. Please be patient with the development of the story. We all miss Francesca. She would be back.**

**And Light Yagami is part of the plot now. Yabadabadoo. **

"**Quicksand" by Lilix is Nicoline's song in a whole that deals with her perspective on relationships and herself as a person. You could listen to it if you want.**

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**Reviews, keep them coming and pouring.**


	21. FAQ

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**FAQ Section**

**I shouldn't be doing this to all of you again but this is not the chapter you are all waiting for. I just want to clarify some things with the readers who have personal questions regarding this story. It warms my heart that you readers look forward to every chapter so once again I apologize for the false alarm. You could leave now or browse through this. I am still gathering a "Near flair" so I will be able to write his POV effectively. Once I am done, I will be adding it as Chapter 23 although it is 21 (yes, I suck with sequence.) It might be available for about, let's see, a week from now.**

**Now onto the questions:**

**Hitomi**** asks: **_**"**__**Are you going to pair up Near and Leixa? Because in my opinion I don't think that's going to work well..I imagine him as a lone character who will only accept love from Francesca."**_

**The answer to your question is ****NO****. Let me first explain this. The original concept was supposed to be MelloXLeixa, right? But then after Chapter 17, when Mello kisses Nicoline, one reader suggested that they make a good pairing. NearXNicoline I had in mind for a very long time but decided against it. So you get Near without a girl. See, he still wants Francesca but it is all a game to him. Leixa, however, does have a pairing. If you browse through my livejournal in the entry about AFE pairings, she is secretly in love with someone there. You will find about that in her own POV. It will shock you immensely. You could have your own educated guesses if you must. I hope that answers it.**

**Noir**** asks: **_**"I **__**was wondering if I could post this on it would be mention in the memo and end of chapter that you wrote Appetite for Enigma for chap released."**_

**You must expound on this since I really don't have any idea what you are suggesting. First of all, I don't have qualms just as long as you copyright me. I do need to know **_**where**_** you will post the NicoMello fluff of Chapter 20 for courtesy and legal reasons. I shall give you my final answer if you answer this one with a review using your FFnet account and not an anonymous, if you don't mind. Thank you.**

**To those who wish to ask me about something regarding the pairings or the plot, just leave a review and ask and I will be replying in the next chapter. Thank you very much for your time.**

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**Character Information**

Here are the **OC**haracters you all deeply loved and felt attached to:

**Francesca Mendez (Special Agent Luisa Luprecci)**  
_Positive_- witty conversationalist with thorough, upbeat confidence  
_Negative_- might appear obnoxious and too arrogant

She is not the common Mary Sue character you will find who is paired to a canon character. I am quite proud on being able to write such a tasty babe. The story is also about her POV and she is described to be quite profound and can keep up with L's personality. Their romance is also the delicacy and everybody agreed that they should end up together. Avril Lavigne's song "Contagious" fit her love for L so well.

**Nicoline Garboux (Special Agent Eva Jorgue)**  
_Positive_- spiritual and clear-headed chick with high standards in all her relationships  
_Negative_- her conventional outlook could be seen as aloof closed-mindedness

She is the polar opposite of Francesca who is her bestfriend. Intuitive and quiet, Nicoline posseses a timid nature and yet she is smart when she deals with people outside her "organized" world. She is also a likeable character that people would either relate themselves to or know someone who is exactly like her.

**Ledina Stephanyie Jezalt (Special Agent Leixa Kroiger)**  
_Positive_- outspoken and liberated with a touch of fierce female independence  
_Negative_- can be seen as overbearing and malicious

I have fun creating Leixa. She could have been the total love partner of Mello. They both are very aggressive but still manage to get along well with the people they work with. Leixa is playful and is the polar opposite of Naomi Misora. She is extremely a show-off but has a very dark secret that actually got L to trust her more than any other agents including Francesca. I plan to expand her character by using Chapter Twenty-Two as her POV.

**College Classmates**  
Shall I be bringing back Trey, Tawny, Amy, Lisa, Megan and Brandon in the story? And if I must, how should they play the roles? Hmmm...

**Mendez Family**  
The traditional Italian family that entertained and made us laugh in Chapter Twelve. They are consisted of Francesca's five jolly brothers and her lonely stepmother Ofelia. Since all of you liked their 'affectionate quirks' for Near, I will be using more of them in the future since Pablo, the eldest, plays a vital part.

**Leonard Telesco**  
You will be getting acquainted with him in his POV on Chapter Twenty-Four. He is the famous anthropologist friend of L who got murdered because of his accidental discovery of the 'stones.'

**Andy**  
The British Port medical doctor who is still in the shadows. You will be surprised what role she plays in the story.

Now for the **CANON **Characters who I added with more dimensions and spices!

**L Lawliet  
**_Canonizing_- the brilliant modern-day detective who solved many cases, one which ended his life -sniff-  
_OCaddition_- fantastic and excitable lover and insightful professor

Yes, truly he became quite the knight in shining armor here. As the college professor, he made us think deeply of our own actions in life. His lectures are endearing and electrifying and I know all of you enjoyed Chapters One to Seven with his intoxicating point of views and how he managed to compel each student in his class to be more than what they have become. Now L is a complicated character and many writers have a hard time writing him. I can failry say I manage to capture his essecence but still put some more corners and feelings in his character. L is always colorful like Jack Sparrow of POTC and there is so much going inside that twisted mind we are all eager to explore!

**Near** (N)  
_Canonizing_- the successor who prefers toys than people; emotionally detached  
_OCaddition_- sadistic player who is still emotionally detached but if you look deeper, well, he is all emotionally detached.

My Near is loveable. I admit that I put so many angles in him that I never realized I could do. In my past story _"Dirty Little Whore,"_ you met my sexial deviant Near. This time he is still the sadistic manipulator that plans to possess our female lead. I never thought that my Near is such a hottie here and is more than some genius child. He is actually quite coy here and his conversations with people are delectably delicious. I will have many great things in store for his elusive character.

**Mello (M)**  
_Canonizing_- Mafia wonder boy with a mouth; contradictory to Near's character  
_OCadditions_- still competetive but has the hots for Nicoline yet pursued by Leixa

The immediate reaction I got when he appeared is that he seemed to be mellow and sweet with Francesca. And yeah, of course, he loves/hates Near. I do however plan to make him also subjective to Leixa's flirting and Nicoline's charms.

**Special Agent Naomi Misora**  
_Canonizing_- the smart, short-lived female character in Death Note who has more to offer if only not killed  
_OCadditions_- she becomes L's confidant and Ray's object of affection.

Truly remarkable that Naomi is around and this story concentrates her blooming relantionship with Ray that became a target for Near's condescending game. She is lavish here and I would like her to be partnered to Light Yagami in professional terms. I promise to expand on her as well.

**Special Agent Ray Penbar**  
_Canonizing_- the unfortunate one to monitor Kira in the series and ends up dead as well  
_OCadditions_- very close to Nicoline and Francesca and is prone to gibberish when around Naomi

I like Ray a lot, might be because of those blue eyes of his. I try to make his character light and easy especially when he is around Naomi. He could also be quite the charmer and big brother to Francesca and Nicoline. We all know that he will succeed in wooing Naomi but the catch here is how will he succeed? I will further expound that.

**Quillish Wammy**  
_Canonizing_- Watari!  
_OCadditions_- the all-around helper as usual but with a twist

I want to use him because I believe that there is a deeper connection between him and L. He is also quite the fiixer when L and Francesca are drifting apart. I will be elaborating that instances as the story progresses.

**Matt**  
_Canonizing_- Mello's best friend and a cameo role in the manga and anime  
_OCadditions_- "Heard some loose screws needed to be fixed!"

Francesca's little brother in the agency. He is also quite the comedian and I love having him blurt out funny one-liners all the time so he is for keeps! He is like Garcia from Criminal Minds here.

_This information is posted in my livejournal before...just thought I could share them._

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	22. A Structural Analysis, Near POV

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**The plot is hard to maintain while you have to concentrate on character development. I feel the need to use Near's POV to give insights to the readers about the case they were trying to solve. That was the only obvious anomaly here. I did not intend this to be fifty chapters if it would be all romance and blah-blah stuff. I want this story to have importance too and now I am almost at my wit's end. Still I concentrate on progress. I have so many stories on the side that I feel rather guilty that my attention is not divided equally among them. Must stop deliberate procrastination. And college is prioritized here. Sometimes days about it are boring and since it is raining so hard, classes have been suspended for two days so I guess I do have plenty of time to write.**

**Anyway there really is nothing left to do now that classes are suspended.**

**I hate rain. Thank you to the new reviewers: Loyal Subject, YamiKitsuneKami, SierralaineWalsh, Dana Rouge and vivi314  
**

**Rain keeps dark clouds in my head. Glad I could use a whole day to write this chapter. And Francesca is almost coming back. Four more chapters to go and the lectures with your submitted food associations are back on the track.**

**Okay, nothing more to say. Uhm, to ****Hitomi****, thank you for that amusing suggestion on how Francesca is going to be like when she returns to the story. But no, it'll be more angstier than that. Oh my god, is angstier a word? No. Okay, what else? Uhm, I got an A in Theology about my reaction paper where I also mentioned Death Note...never mind. Just read the story. Not in the talkative mood right now.**

**In the next few weeks all my stories will be undergoing beta clean-up since the comments about my grammar are starting to bother me. **

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**A Structural Analysis**

**A week before Francesca's disappearance**

I ignored the scattered periodicals on the floor for almost an hour. Work comes first but I'm divided between two ones. One is the periodical concerning Matt's research on the Mendez business and related matters. The other one is what I am currently attending to: an improvised model of the Eifel Tower made with Legos. I have been known for my thorough attention to detail that comes with severe mental focus. I suppose L was only fair when he chose me over Mello to work on the Mendez case. I still hope that L's lenience to Mello's mood swings should be forbidden. Mello has large talent in anything he puts his mind to. The problem is he rarely puts his biggest effort to achieve. I placed the last piece on top and took a good look at the accomplishment before me. Satisfied that all was in place, I picked up the closest document below me and did not scan it just yet. I was thinking of something else. Something has preoccupied my mind that day. More like someone, actually.

I did not like the condition L had put me through inscrutably. It makes it impossible to get close to Luisa and he likes it that way. It now has been persistent in my mind and I wonder what I could do about it. L specifically instructed me not to tell Luisa anything about the case with her family. I was not feeling compelled to do it anyway. I was just examining Matt's research while I'm inside my room. We would be leaving Morocco in a couple of days since Leixa was done with her investigations regarding the drug trade. Mello also graced us with his presence but I get the distinct impression he doesn't like me taking in charge. I was having suspicions about his sudden interest on the bargain that Luisa and I agreed upon. He wants to beat me again and it's perplexing since there really was no point with what he was doing. I decided to just let him play his cards.

I barely slept the night. I was thinking about the conversation Luisa had with L when they were just missing each other so much (amazing how L can communicate using "showy" emotions.) It was unusual why she was always in my mind. I was not in love. I'm only twelve and even though I have the approximate IQ of 145, it doesn't mean I could understand the concept of romance or anything like that. I concluded that it was a product of my fascination about her and also because I wasn't used to her relationship with my mentor. I still cannot believe it. I never took L for the boyfriend type. I just couldn't see him that way and Luisa is a mystery and she keeps tugging at my line of thoughts.

I scanned through the document and sighed. I have discovered vital information about the Mendez business and I will make it to a point to share my findings with L once we get back to the main port. When I feel as if I was abusing my body from lack of proper sleep, I yawned and stood up. I glanced at the Eifel tower and memorized the detail of my construction of it. Then I fall to the covers of the bed and slept.

The next morning I destroyed the Eifel Tower. I like breaking and fixing things. I'll continue it back in the port. I fixed my things first. I placed the toys in my luggage bags neatly. I don't really like fixing my stuff so it takes me time to finish it. I also arranged the files and made sure it was kept safe in one of my bags. Mello came to my room and told me to have breakfast (but he said he prefers me to die out of starvation.) I accepted his generous invitation.

We were traveling once again in the private airplane. Luisa and Mello were on the same coach. I was sitting beside Nicoline and across Leixa and Naomi. The three women barely spoke to each other. Leixa was the only one in a talkative mood. She was trying to keep Naomi away from Ray which I think was advantageous to my side. I'm definitely getting Luisa in the end. I was just bored, I guess and L was always somebody I admire and I just want to see how he'd react if I do something unthinkable. I like it when he thinks better of my abilities. I'd like to show him I deserve his position someday.

"That teddy bear is Affy, right? Cheska told me about it." Nicoline remarked.

I looked at my stuff toy then handed it to here wearily. She smiled and took it. I watch her adjust the yellow hood on Affy's head. Then Leixa grabbed it.

"This is such a cute thing!" Leixa was waving it at us. "Where did you get it?"

"Near made it himself," Naomi replied. "I was with him in a mission when he was doing that. Took him a week to finish it."

"So Nearie knows how to sew?" Leixa purred.

I blinked at her. She noticed it. "What?"

"Matt calls me 'Nearie' too, just an amusing coincidence." I replied.

"Who's Matt?" Nicoline inquired.

"The port's best computer technician," Naomi answered.

"Yah, he's a cute boy, never really hang out with him but I guess I will now," Leixa flashed me a grin. She continued to play with my stuff toy.

"Why Affy?" Leixa asked.

"Ashton Francis," Naomi and Nicoline answered together.

Leixa gave them a peculiar look. "I'm sure Nearie could still answer for himself." She turned to me. "Why that name?"

"I don't know," I answered silently. "It just popped out of my head."

"That's not like you, Nearie. Spontaneity is not really your quality."

"You can't say that for sure." I decided to smile at her. Most people say they don't like me smiling. Was it really my fault that I wear a humorless smile?

Leixa only grinned. She was that kind of woman. She doesn't get easily offended or intimidated. She's like Luisa in a way but more aggressive and tactless. She is also in pure high spirits all the time.

The rest of the trip went on smoothly. Luisa approached me in my coach when everyone was sleeping. I shooed her off easily since I don't have anything else to say to her and also because I have discovered something really disturbing about the Mendez family and it's better if I keep my attention away from that until I get to talk to L about it.

The first thing I did when I got to the British port is to find myself a comfortable lounge so I could build another construction. I find such ease in mechanical work. Sometimes Ray comes to watch me when he is not doing anything. Leixa would engage into a conversation with me once or twice as I am doing my work. Matt and Mello would make fun of me as always like the times when we were in the Wammy House before but they run out of insults after an hour. After the incident with L and Luisa almost "getting it on" (I believe that is the term) everybody was trying to get a scoop of it. I am personally not a gossip person so I lay my hands off the dirty matter.

I wondered why the people I work with gets too distant around me. I am aware I have a cold way of dealing with other people but L didn't think it was bothersome. He was the one who said that it was a good tactic to interrogate suspects. I do not really wish for close and personal relationships but I also do not wish the opposite as well. Occasional talks are fine just as what Leixa does. I knew that I give wrong impressions regarding my personality and whims but I am not that bad. I'm only a kid who likes playing with toys and sometimes I play with people much to their dislike. But I don't care. It's just what I am.

Sometimes I mock and ridicule too cruelly but believe it or not, I feel bad too. I don't like being hated. No rational being likes that. I want to have fun, that's all. We all do things to be noticed in a positive way and as a kid, I want that too. I don't please people enough but I please L so easily. I like the feeling of his affirming gestures, although not apparent. He asked me once if I feel ill feelings towards Mello since he feels that way towards me. It actually made me feel annoyed that Mello feels that way. I don't have anything against Mello. I like Mello. He is smart and brave. He can control situations well and he has excellent leadership. He just likes using me as an excuse why he doesn't rise from his inhibitions. I have nothing to do with his failures. He's just not trying hard enough. I don't tell him that since it will give another reason to fight with me.

Luisa entered the lounge one time when I was the only one there. She saw me and looked like she hesitated. Before she could walk away, I decided to entertain her.

"It seems that you're looking for someone."

"Ah, yes, I was looking for Matt."

"Did the air conditioner fail again?" I keep my voice steady but I like to tease. I enjoy seeing the faces of people when they react. I like observing things like that.

I saw Luisa momentarily blush. "It's fine. L doesn't need some fixing of 'lose screws' anymore."

"What does that mean anyway?"

She arched an eyebrow. She knew I know.

"What is that, Near?"

I didn't stop laying the necessary white Legos on the foundation. "I'm not sure what it would be yet.

"It seems wide." She walked slowly towards me.

"Yes, quite. I plan to make this one gigantic."

"Why do you like toys this much, Near? Many would consider it an obsession."

I did not look at her, keeping my eyes on my project the whole time. She watched me, waiting for an answer.

I said, "They stimulate my brain."

"And you like that?"

"It's just like sex."

"You wouldn't know that."

I finally looked at her. "Of course I wouldn't. I was just trying to compare it with something that stimulates you."

"Good one, Near. But nothing happened to me and L yet."

"Not doubting that for a second since I know I'll win you over."

"Oh, please, Near."

I smiled slowly. "You know, Luisa, for a fact that my bargain is far more suitable to my success. Naomi will not give in to Ray."

"You better play as more as you could since you're not gonna be able to for a week once I have won."

I wanted to throw her aback so I said casually. "You have warm, sweet lips. I remember when you kissed me back in Italy."

She said nothing but I detect the faint crimson color on her neck.

I placed five more pieces of Legos in the foundation. Then I casually changed the topic. "How tall do you think this one is going to be?"

She crossed her arms on her chest. "How about seven feet tall? Can you do that?"

"That sounds like a challenge."

"And you won't decline."

"You know well."

She gave me a small smile. She has that kind of smile, I just observed, the one that sends me a creeping sensation in my spine. I see a lot of girls smile but she was the only one that made an impact at me. It was weird, one of those plenty of mysteries that make her.

I was determined to solve her.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I had my first fight with L.

It was more like an argument. We never really argue before so it was new to me. It was exciting I have to admit. It was also the first time I was ever expressive of how I think and it came as a shock that I sometimes dislike L's methods. I want to sound sincere when I say this but I don't really know how to say this. I was, how do you put it, I was worried about Mello. I know more than any other agent the dangers of this case and if my theories are correct then I wouldn't want to risk Mello to that. I always knew his daring streak and one of these days he'll get in permanent trouble with that. As long as I could prevent that, I just have to do it. And I don't know how to tell L that.

I was still debating on the right words to tell my mentor that whatever stretched dispute we have conceived was nothing critical. While clearing unnecessary thoughts in my head that day, I dwelled on the structure I promised Luisa. I had it in my mind to build a colossal Tower of Pisa since it was complicated and tricky to accomplish. I have to make sure nothing in the foundation weakens and that each piece is meticulously placed in order. The center was wide enough to fit five people standing inside. I was not halfway through and it's already two hours and the height is still twelve inches. Nothing in my facial expression gave away annoyance and defeat. Matt once commented that I was like Pygmalion to every architectural work I do with my toys. I don't know what he wishes to imply but I just want this perfect so I could show Luisa what I am capable of accomplishing.

I saw Nicoline enter the lounge. She looked rather low. I glanced at her slightly then went back attending to my work silently.

"Hey Near," she greeted absentmindedly. I suspect something unpleasant happened. She was always this glum and Mello seemed to be drawn to that. I could only wonder what possible attraction he conjured up with such a plain girl like Nicoline. Didn't matter though. Mello would only find more reasons to blame me again just for living and breathing. It's how our world works, I guess.

She sat across me and my tower. She said nothing for a couple of minutes or so. Then finally she leaned closer and asked, "How much patience is needed to construct a thing like that, Near?"

"Probably the same size as whatever construction you are building."

"You must have a whole lot. Why are you making that?"

I didn't tell her. I want it to be special. I smirked when I thought of that then I masked it with another blank concentration to my work.

Nicoline sighed heavily. She rested the back of her head and drummed her fingertips on her lap.

"What do you think the world would be like if it's made with legos and puzzles?"

I stopped midway on my piece. I kept it an inch away from the other ones already in place. I fingered it then with the other hand I twisted a strand of my hair. L occasionally bites on his thumb. Mello eats chocolates. I twirl my hair. Whatever the reason behind these actions, it helps us think.

"The world is made of legos and puzzles." I answered her sternly, placing the piece on top of the others.

"It sure deserves a thought, right?" Nicoline chuckled solemnly. "But why do you say it is?"

I didn't know how to explain to her my philosophy on that. It was a good thing Leixa and Naomi appeared. Naomi sat beside Nicoline and chatted with her about Leonard Telesco's stolen diary and that they may have a lead on it. The two of them left to investigate with Ray on the control room with Matt. Leixa watched them leave then she turned a grin at me.

"Hey, Nearie."

"Good afternoon, Leixa."

"So I can see you are stuck here again."

"It is rather fulfilling, you should try."

"Have you built sand castles before, Nearie, you know, like in a beach?" I never liked random questions. They always take me time to think of the appropriate answer. Leixa was right with the spontaneity part so she must be testing me all along.

"I have been to a beach once only," I responded carefully, weighing each phrase. I begin adding another layer on my foundation. "It was some field trip back in Wammy House."

"And?" Leixa crossed her legs. I couldn't resist so I looked. She was also observant and she easily noticed. "You like legs, Nearie?"

"No, I just get distracted with the movement." I looked away. I was telling the truth. Sort of. I concentrated calmly on the Lego piece I was fingering.

"And did you make a sand castle, Nearie?"

"Yes." I replied as I placed the piece down. "But it was a chore, a simple, frustrating chore. The difficulty was if I build one close to the ocean, the water destroys it. If I build one a foot away, the sand is not sticky enough. I was really calculating on how much seawater is needed. So I spent the whole afternoon building one while sprinkling and pouring necessary amount of seawater in it."

"How high was it?"

I wanted to know where these questions would lead but I kept answering in the meantime. "Half my height."

"Was it fun?"

The usual question. I get this all the time. "Define."

Leixa grinned wider. "What purpose does that give you if not for entertainment?"

"Nothing fun if I may say," I faced her.

"Well, you're a kid, Nearie. Kids like to have fun with toys. Aren't you having fun with yours?"

There was something about that statement that stopped me. I never really thought about it. I haven't been asked by the caretakers back in the Wammy House if I was having fun. I know I like what I do. But beyond that, I really don't know the point. I was still careful enough not to reveal my dismay and confusion to her. I kept on working again.

Leixa leaned back, fingers interlaced with each other. She was looking at me intently. "So what happened to the sand castle?"

"It didn't last long. It got washed off by the ocean five hours after I finished it. There was a high tide, Leixa. It was the reason why it didn't stay long."

"As you wanted it to stay longer."

I blinked. I slowly looked back at her.

"You want it to be there the next day, don't you?" There was something in her voice I couldn't detect.

I blinked again. I tried to process what she was saying. Then I answered, "The next day I went back to it and it was gone. Just a lump of wet sand."

"You gave your best to make sure it was built strong and then it just vanished."

"Are you psychoanalyzing me, Leixa? How fascinating." I turned my back away from her and kept adding more pieces quickly now. Something happened to me and I don't know what it is. Hopefully the continuous movement of my hands would appease it.

"Why do you like toys, Nearie?"

"It stimulates me."

"Or it completes you." I heard her stand up. She was approaching me. Then she went inside with me in the center. She was behind me, close than I want her to be. I didn't say anything.

"Relationships aren't puzzles and big towers or anything mechanical and systematic, Near. You can't fix them all the time whenever they break...or worse, get destroyed."

"You're reading too much into this." I kept on putting some more Lego pieces. I wished she'd take a step back. She's dangerously close. I'm not sure I like the proximity.

"How did you feel about the sand castle? Did you build another one?"

"I'm not sure I follow this conversation, Leixa. If you're bored, find another hobby, please." I try to stay firm.

"Answer the question."

I stopped abruptly. I kept my back turned away from her.

"I didn't build another one." I replied. "It was a waste of time. I know that it will only be washed away—"

"Why didn't you try again? Why not a better location? And how can you be sure that there would be another high tide? It could have been there the next day at last and..." she trailed off.

I waited.

"It's so sad, Near, isn't it?" she was backing away. I was relieved.

I heard her sitting back on the same coach. I went back finishing the last layer for the foundation.

"Now why do you want to finish this one, Near?"

"Because it is special to me."

"Would you make sure that you would give all the effort and time for this project?"

"I made a commitment. I will finish this."

Leixa sighed. Then she kneeled on the floor to look at me at that angle. I looked back at her. Our eyes locked for a long time.

"Can you understand German?"

"Mello and I took classes on that."

"Then listen to this and understand," Leixa began speaking in her native tongue. _"Somebody out there wants you broken. Somebody out there would not mind you unfinished and incomplete. Even when you only one thing to offer, somebody out there would like to play with you. Somebody out there would have you imperfect and messed up and that somebody wouldn't mind."_

I nodded to show her I understood the foreign words. She spoke it with a pensive, almost hypnotic cadence. Then she smiled at me.

"You're a beautiful boy, Nearie. I used to have a baby brother who is just like you...so distant…"

I felt her hand reaching to touch my cheek. I let her. Then the touch was gone. I felt dizzy all of a sudden. I turned back to finish my work.

Leixa sat back again on the coach and crossed her legs.

"I'll be waiting until it's done, Nearie."

"You can do that." I was adding the next layer. I tried not to smile even when I have the sudden impulse to. "I don't mind if you do."

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"I don't think I am well-balanced about the whole thing. My family is in total mess and I kept thinking about them and I get so angry about it because I am just here as one of your chess pieces and waiting for you to order me around. I really need to know where I belong in everything you put me into. I want to know just how important I am to you because I have no idea if I want to keep doing this with you if we are both so away from each other. We are not like any other couple and for a time it was exciting and original but L, seriously, what is the percentage of success that this is going to work? Just how confident are you that we won't screw up and become resentful of each other?"

I did not mean to stumble upon Luisa and L that day while they were discussing something that I shouldn't be listening to. But I could not step back and walk away when I saw her crying. It was a curious sight.

L was facing her, his back away from me. All I could see is Luisa. She looked as if she was ready to hit him. She seemed angry too. It was rather perplexing.

I made sure I can't be seen as I listened some more.

"I am not pushing you away. What we need is space. What we need is some kind of button that says 'stop.' I want to think more about this because it would a shame, a darn shame if we just did this for nothing. L, really, I have never felt so overwhelmed and delirious when we click and we get each other. I am in love with you but it's not that simple. I thought I could go on, taking everything being thrown at me but the more the deception and the mission is getting heavier, the more I want to just run off some place and cut you lose. I need to know what is going on with my family and yet you don't even trust me with that. Can't you see how bad this is making us become? We are—just not that happy anymore. And I hate it...I hate it...I want everything to be...perfect...but it..."

_Perfect._ There is nothing wrong about wanting perfection. Most of all, I have never seen Luisa so helpless. Her voice was croaking, her hand gestures were too animated. And she was angry at L.

I have to go. I should not be witnessing this. I started walking back to the lounge. I found Nicoline again. She was holding Affy.

When she saw me enter, she greeted me absentmindedly like before. She's a lot gloomier now.

"I saw Luisa and L fighting." I dropped that comment casually and I saw her nervously shifted her gaze. So she has something to do with it. And I know just how she is involved in it. I kept it to myself and went back to finish my Tower of Pisa. I have to at least make it three feet.

Matt was playing an X-box game again on the other side of the room.

"Headphones, dammit!" Mello shouted from the other corner. He was reading a book and chewing on a chocolate bar.

"Weren't you supposed to be leaving?" Ray walked pass.

"I was waiting for Cheska."

Matt whistled as he put on the headphones. Nicoline decided to distract herself by watching him play. I saw Mello looking at them with an incomprehensible look on his face. I smirked to myself.

"Mello can teach you, Nicoline. He plays occasional games with Matt." Leixa was the one who voiced my thoughts out. She was also aware of the developing attraction between the two. I was glad I wasn't the only smart one in the room.

"Would you just shut up and bite me, hoe?" Mello snapped.

"As long as you're covered with syrup, we might negotiate that request." Leixa grinned and Mello just scoffed at her.

Leixa caught my gaze and she winked at me. I was starting to like her around. Nothing to it, of course. She is just very entertaining.

"Can I ask how you will keep that steady? Francesca informed me you are making a Tower of Pisa." Ray looked closely at the Lego pieces as he spoke.

I replied. "When I am done with the main foundation, I would concentrate on the curve of the tilt."

"You're really something, Near. I'm impressed."

"Thank you, Ray."

Matt called out from the corner. "L just sent me an instant message. You guys have to leave now."

We all walked outside to say our goodbyes to Luisa and Mello as they walked up to the airplane with Quillish. I don't have anything to say to Luisa. I saw her sad and weak. I don't know what to make of it. I don't like it, that I'm sure of. Nevertheless, there is still more to her that I need to figure out.

I don't know if anything about what I feel for her is what Leixa was trying to tell me or if it even applies. All I know now is that I want Luisa. I want to fix her. I want it because it stimulates me.

And maybe even completes me.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"You're doing a really good job with that, Near."

I didn't look up from what I was doing. I was already building it from the outside since it is now four feet tall and almost my height.

"What are you doing here, L?" I asked instead.

I sensed him just behind me, eyeing what I was doing. "This is really excellent, Near. The leaning Tower of Pisa is a commendable choice. The tilt is also quite impressive."

"I will not give away my secret on how I managed to tilt it like that."

"And I assume you want me to find it out myself."

"You assume well," I couldn't hide a smile.

"Your intelligence and hands combined are always meant for great things."

I was glowing, if not visibly, but I was glowing nonetheless. I know I seem unaffected when my mentor praises me but I do like his affirmation. I live for it. I even beg for it if I have to but not as needy as Mello's style.

"Tell me, Near." L placed a hand on my shoulder. We both winced. We are not used to contact and so whenever we do it, it just feels strange. He ignored it and went on with the conversation. "How many days do you think will you able to finish it?"

I thought about that. Then I answered. "I'll finish it before we find Luisa."

A sigh escaped his lips and his fingers clasped my shoulders a little tightly.

"Then by the time we find her, I'll destroy it."

L loosened his grip. "Why?"

"No reason in particular. All great structures are meant to be ruined someday."

"Not the leaning Tower of Pisa."

"Yes, I know. It's one of the best mysteries and puzzles I have encountered."

"Are you proving something with this display of yours, Near?"

"I'd rather keep my findings to myself unless it is absolutely correct."

L nodded gleefully. "You're always so smart, Near."

He let go of my shoulder.

"L?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you have the time to discuss with me about the Mendez family?"

I looked at him. L placed his hands inside the pockets of his jeans.

"We could do it some other time if you wish, Near."

"When?"

"You're really pushing this. I assume something bothers you about the case."

"Pablito Mendez has gone missing three days before his sister, L. Isn't that odd?"

L scratched his head then he bit on his index finger, regarding me lightly. "Depends on what that tells us. We have been monitoring Pablito closely, haven't we? Yet somehow he managed to disappear just like that."

"Do you have a reason to believe we are following a wrong trail here? That Pablito Mendez was the target after all?"

"The Mendez family is associated with deadly allies. Francesca is kept in the dark and that is the reason why it was easy for them to get to her."

"Let's look pass that," I knew he was blaming himself. I remember the conversation they had and tried to push it away in some corner of my mind.

"We still have to uncover Telesco's missing diary. We find that, we have another good piece to construct this puzzle."

I nodded at that. I walked to the table and scattered some puzzle pieces on it. I sat on the coach, one foot up and began placing them together. L watched me.

"Assume that we are completing a puzzle then," I explained. "The pieces we have here are the important findings we have."

I showed him nine pieces put together. L sat on the floor in front of it, knees on his chin. His spidery fingers put on an additional three pieces. "We have only half-baked theories, the cover-up drug trade and the assassin we have arrested two days ago. All of which leads us to more pieces."

"Let's say that each of those three pieces you have placed have more pieces." I took seven pieces. "And once we put them all, we might find some more clues."

"It's easy to predict that since incidents related to this case just pop out of nowhere." L nibbled on his thumb.

I nodded, twirling a strand of my hair.

Then he looked at me and I met his eyes. He smiled kindly. I blinked.

"I am confident that I will solve this since I have you and Mello to help me."

"You always solve cases long before you asked for our involvement."

"Don't be humble, Near. It never suits you."

"And you could tell?"

"Of course," L reached a hand to tap my head. The contact left us both uncomfortable again but we allowed it.

He stood up and said he has something to do. I know he will take walks again with Nicoline. I couldn't say he is trying to encourage her feelings towards him. But I could tell very well that he was lonely. I don't know what to make out of that discovery so I decided not to participate. When some things are too personal about L, I don't want to see him in a different way. I like seeing him in a pedestal. It sounds superficial and unfair to him but that's how I see him as a whole.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"You should add something to make sure it stays in place, Nearie." Leixa suddenly appeared. I was too busy to pay attention when she just came out of nowhere. We are both looking at my complete project.

"But I want it to fall down, you see."

"Why would you want that?" Leixa frowned.

"It would be something of a domino effect if this great structure falls to pieces."

Leixa smiled at last. "So when it does, what will we get from it? I mean, you work hard to finish this, why would you want it destroyed?"

"What are you saying, Leixa? It's just a toy." I was also smiling back a little. "Toys break and wither. I find that there are more important things to be taken care of. Don't you?"

"I don't know," Leixa answered vaguely. Then she looked at me then at the seven-foot construction of the Tower of Pisa. "But I'm glad you finished it just as you promised and you understood what I was trying to say."

I nodded. "You're a very colorful character, Leixa."

"She'll come back to you, don't worry."

"I'm not worried."

"So toys break and wither, huh? You found something worth taking care of now than these objects?"

"Not yet," I looked down at the soles of my feet. "But soon."

I didn't see it coming since I least expected it but Leixa put her arm around my neck and pulled me close to her. I let her. I don't know how to react.

"You'll get there, Nearie."

"You can let go of me anytime now."

"But not yet."

Silence. We kept looking at my finished architecture.

"How about now?"

"Okay." She giggled and let go. Then she brushed a fallen strand of hair from my face. "Be a good boy, Nearie."

I raised an eyebrow and said nothing. She grinned and started walking away, leaving me with my perfect creation.

Everything perfect I build is nothing every time I remember the sand castle two years ago. I was sure it would last but then it was washed off in the shore. I spent a short time with it but I missed it very much. It might appear like I am becoming obsessed but I want to go back to a beach again and build another sand castle. Whether it stimulates me or completes me, I really don't care. I just like to fix things.

And yeah, maybe it was fun for me too.

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**Near is so adorable. I know the moments here might appear strange and hard to comprehend but I do hope, just like Nicoline's POV, you get the underlying messages of Near's narration about his attachment to toys, about Leixa's concern for him and the sand castle symbolism. I am feeling rather glum too. And I think it gave Near's story an edge because of my mood today.**

**The next POV, which is Leixa's, I guarantee to be really something you have never thought about her. She is my OC who rarely gets a lot of insights from other characters so I will devote time on harnessing her so you could decide for yourself if you like her. I personally respect her passion and attitude in everything.**

**I can't wait for L's POV. I have been doing it now and it involves conversations with Light, Naomi and Ray so that is something to look out for. But after Leixa's POV, it will be Leonard Telesco and Pablito Mendez' turn to tell the story. I hope that doesn't bore you. I'll try to keep it exciting.**

**Reviews make me warm and fuzzy and I badly need it today.**

**Hate the fucking rain.**

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	23. Strong as a Samara Tree, Leixa POV

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**Leixa's POV is dedicated to a writer who has potentials I have always believed in. Yes, this is for you, Condolezza Ribeiro since I know you adore Leixa's character. I forgot to mention my apprentices Danica Brody and Dana Rouge for inspiring Nicoline's POV. And lastly, thank you for the new readers with their helpful reviews: YamiKitsuneKami,** **Naomi Niikura**, **AyameTakahash**i, **Hotori and A reader of your crap**

**Do forgive my grammar because in many occasions it is what you will call flawed. I never really concentrated on that aspect in my craft and I admit that because I neglect it that it hurts my credibility. I still will remain a writer by heart. I sincerely thank the readers who could see through the errors of my craft and esteem it highly instead. I am humbled. Ego-inflated, yes but nonetheless humbled.**

**Note****: The italicized phrases are flashbacks.**

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**Strong as a Samara Tree**

_The first time I ever felt blood on my hands was my first visit of menstrual period when I was twelve. I was climbing a tree to gather the fresh mangoes when I lost my footing and fell. I have always been a playful child and the fall did not really do me harm. There were scratches but nothing detectably serious so I picked up the basket of fruits and rushed back to the house. I changed my clothes as soon as I got to my room. While standing in the mirror I saw blood trickling down my thighs. I did not seem to worry because I have been told about this. The specific words my grandfather Lilo always told me was, "Once you get blood in there every month, you can marry or become a whore." I grinned mentally. I achieved womanhood._

_I put on a shirt first then rushed to my younger brother's room. Laurenzo was in his bed as always, running his fingers on dots in a sheet of paper while blurting out words. I stood before him, the blood still on my thighs. He was staring right at me but I knew he only felt my presence. "I have something to show you, brother."_

_He reached out a hand instinctively. I took it and allowed him to touch my inner thigh so he could feel the blood. He shyly pulled it away and said nothing for a long moment. I kept grinning. He finally remarked. "Is it blood?"_

"_Yes." I knelt down. "I will replace your eyes someday, brother. You will see colors just as you can hear sounds."_

"_Blood is red, is it not?" He asked curiously. "Is red pretty?"  
_

"_Very." I smiled and wiped my menstrual blood on his palm. He felt the warmth and smelled the rusty secretion of the blood. _

_I squeezed his hands together. "You will see how pretty the world is someday."_

The first time I felt the blood warm in my hands was eleven years after that when I have stabbed one of the spies who almost infiltrate the British Port. I did not wipe the blood immediately. I stood there and let the water wash it off. It was raining hard for the last couple of days. I ran back to the base. Nicoline appeared before me as soon as I walked in. Her pale lips were pressed shut. She didn't look pleased again. Naomi gave me a questioning glance. I turned my head side to side to dry my hair a little. Then I said, "Party, bitches. L has the nerve to make me go out there and make little boys out of men. Next time, I ought to tell him to shove it but I know I would be detained from work if I cross with him because I would look like I am too lax in doing my job."

I took off my leather jacket and tossed it aside. I sat beside Ray on the coach and removed my boots. "So I say party, bitches. As long as I get to kick ass, Mademoiselle stiff and you, Naomi, could have all the time in the world to lay back."

I was pissed. I was coating it with sarcasm. Nicoline is smarter that she seems and got the signal easily but she was never the one to contradict. Naomi is. She crossed her arms and said, "You're too good for your mouth, Kroiger."

"Don't take it the hard way, Naomi."

"It's Na-yomi. Not Nayo-mi."

"Forgive my accent."

She looked at me angrily. "You're not the only one getting the burden of the mission here. Don't act as if your skills are the only ones being flushed in the drain lately."

"Oh, yes, of course, Ms. Tokyo."

"I don't like your tone or your bearing, Leixa." Naomi stopped on her tracks. We exchanged a cold stare. "I am not pleased by the proposition like you."

"I don't enjoy kicking ass if it's all for collateral damage."

"And I don't enjoy liability just as much as you do."

"What liability are we talking about here?" Nicoline finally bounced in the conversation. She knew well, I could tell.

I decided to give it to her point-blank. "They are getting too knowledgeable about our team, Agent Jorgue. If I am blunt which I totally am, I would really inform you that Agent Luprecci is the liability."

Nicoline's lower lip quivered. Her eyes behind those spectacles sharpen. She said nothing. Her actions gave away her distaste though.

Naomi consoled her. "We know that Luisa will never betray us. We have confidence in her service but it has been a month now. We could not trace any possible lead to her disappearance. And—"

"Trust is absolute bullshit," I added, leaning my back on the coach, my eyes sweeping to the French brat. "As far as everybody is concerned, this little goddamn mission of us is turning into an imbecile parade. We are the imbecile parade. Lawliet is pissing me off."

"Why don't you go tell him off?" Nicoline finally answered.

"I intend to," I closed my eyes. "Now I need to rest."

"Liability or not, Luprecci must still be found." Ray spoke pensively beside me. "This is hard on all of us. I don't think internal conflict between our agents is gonna help either."

"Who says anything about a conflict, Ray?" Naomi spat back. "Some of us badly need a solution. L is still spending some quality time with that recruit Yagami instead of giving us somewhere to go."

"You can't blame it on the guy."

"He disappoints me!" Naomi countered back. "This was the first time I see him so irrational."

"And that makes Cheska the liability, is that it?" Nicoline interjected. "Well, sorry that our boss and my friend are in love. You cannot make love a liability."

"Not yours, probably," I snorted sardonically. "Since L dumped you, we don't need to worry about a love triangle that might compromise L's authority further more. For what it's worth, it's rotting anyway, bit by bit."

I stood up and carried my boots with me. I picked up my leather jacket along the way. Nicoline looked like she wanted to say something but decided against it. Naomi was thinking deeply on the other hand. Ray watched me leave.

I walked silently to the main computer database. The door was wide open so I just walked in. Matt greeted me with a smile. Then it dispersed into a frown.

"I was a bitch." I remarked. "I was a bitch there. Naomi is mad. I hurt Nicoline. I was a bitch."

I threw my leather jacket on the side again then my boots. I walked over to him casually and then ran my fingers in his auburn hair. Matt gulped slightly. I kissed him in the forehead. I pulled back. "But I'm not sorry."

"Nothing is easy about you," Matt remarked.

"Oh, shut up and stop pretending like you know everything." I replied lazily and sunk back on a seat beside him. Matt eyed me but said nothing anymore.

Truth is I hate working for L. I really do. He just gets to me but I can't get through him. Now I'm a happy-go-lucky gal. Ask my associates. Well, not the current ones, they think I'm cold. L was fun at first. He was all about winning games. He was this untouchable apparition. He used to have the air of mystery around him. Then Francesca comes along. Their romance is so real it's almost nauseating. Now I like Francesca. I just don't approve on what she is doing to L. I am so selfish to think that way but I don't care.

Mello entered the room with his usual jackass mode. "What the hell, Lei!'

"Hey back, Mello."

"How do you live with yourself?" I knew Nicoline is tattle-tale. "You just don't go around making people miserable."

"And you're not so perfect either." I shot back with a wide grin. "Want me to apologize? Okie-dokie, I could do that."

"What is cooking with you, hoe?" Mello added grimly. "You're not the best person to be around with now. Is it because you were hanging with Near the last time? Matt, I told you to keep an eye on that bastard."

"Near has nothing to do with this. He's cool kid. You should hate him less."

"You're right because I hate you more."

"Oh come on, we got pass that." I offered him my hands openly. "We're friends now, right? The three of us?"

"I don't know, Lei. You made Nicoline upset."

I did not like that. I leaned myself back. "So, is this really a couple thing? Men become total wuss when their damsels are in distress?"

"What is your problem?" Mello retorted back. "Are you having it now?"

I laughed. I just could not disguise my amusement. I was just thinking about my menstrual period and Mello pointed it out again. I was just thinking about my brother and home. I stood up.

"I'm going to take some nap for a while." I said to the two of them and did not wait for them to say anything more.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

_Back home I used to think about becoming a doctor, a surgeon to be precise, so I could help my brother with his visual impairment. I would tell grandfather my plans but he said that it's better for me to find a husband who is a doctor. He would lecture me that women need men to survive. I would ask him if that is why mother died when father left us for his other family. My grandfather pounded his fist on our dinner table and said that my father was not a man and that I should go to sleep._

_I would take my brother to the marketplace every morning. He would feel the texture of every thing he could grab. I will describe to him the appearance and then he will try to picture it in his mind. Laurenzo is very special. He is a sensitive boy who is clever for his age. I saw his disability as a hindrance for his future. I was scared for him. I know he needs me to survive. It's not about gender. It's about who is weaker and who could be strong. I am strong._

I closed the door shut as I went inside my room. I really have to stop thinking about the complications of this hell-sent mission. I closed my eyes as I lay on the bed for almost an hour or so.

_I remember being fourteen. How could I forget that year?_

_There was a man who came to our home every night and would talk to my grandfather. I eavesdrop one time and heard that he fancies me. I felt repulsed. I could only pray grandfather would not give in to the man's request. The visits became frequent though. He would also drop by during mornings. He would sit on a chair and watch me pick up fruits. I don't have many decent clothes since we are poor so I commonly wear ragged ones. My body was developing and I was aware that I shouldn't be this exposed._

I turned to my side wearily. The bed is no longer comforting. I sat up. My memory lanes have that way to keep me awake.

_After a week of relentless pursuing, the man was finally successful in having his way on me. My grandfather was resting due to his attack of rheumatism one afternoon when the man raped me. Laurenzo was in his room, studying. I was outside again to pick up mangoes. At first he was just talking to me, asking me random stuff. Then he kept touching me. I didn't resist. Maybe it was my fault. Now that I'm older, I knew it wasn't. I could remember being fourteen and held against the tree with my thighs apart to accept his excited length without qualms. It lasted forever and when it was done, he said he will come back and then he left. I went to Laurenzo after that._

_I asked him to touch my inner thigh again, maybe for comfort. He felt the blood. He asked. "I thought you just finished having menstrual period?"_

_He couldn't see the tears. I am glad he couldn't. "This is how it is, Laurenzo. I am a woman. Women should marry."_

"_What are you trying to say?"_

I don't know why but I suddenly felt the urge to go out my room and watch Near build towers again. It keeps me at ease. I wanted ease right now. I started walking to the lounge, all the while still thinking of Laurenzo.

"_All I am trying to say, Laurenzo is I will protect you always. But brother, I wonder now, who will protect me from myself?" _

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

_He kept coming back for more. I gave it to him because I would be his wife. But a month passed and he never married me._

"Hey, Near."

Near was playing around with an airplane toy. He looked at me slightly then kept playing. I walked towards him. "The tower is still enduring, huh."

"I am quite proud of it."

"What kept Mello from not destroying it?"

Near gave a smirk. "I promised that he could help me destroy it once we find Luisa."

I blinked and laughed. "That's a commendable bargain."

"Lei?" I turned around and saw Matt approaching. "Could you come with me just a sec?"

"Okay," I followed him.

"You've been murky,"

"I have it, like Mello said." I rested my back against the wall, facing him.

"I am just worried," Matt scratched his head. "And I am sorry."

"Huh?"

"I knew I was always dumping on you and it's not nice."

I laughed. "Matt, your problems are all about software that you can't decode, or when you run out of soda. That's not exactly big ones."

"Do you want to tell me anything, Lei?" His voice sounds hopeful.

I laughed again. "I'm a carefree girl."

"Okay," He looked down timidly. "In that case, I have to go now. But if you need anybody to talk to, I'm in my place. Mello too."

I smiled and kissed him in the forehead.

I excused myself to use the bathroom. I washed my hands with a clean bar of soap. Then I washed my face. The water was refreshing. I watched the faucet for a while before turning it off.

"I have a handkerchief if you like."

I turned around and saw Naomi. I took her hanky and dabbed my face with it. I grinned. "I was sorry, you know."

"You're really something." She shook her head good-humouredly. "So how long have you been working for L?"

"Five years, I think but we haven't had this chance to be close until Telesco's death." I answered. "I work for Quillish mainly."

"Of course," she stood silent. Then she said, "I don't know much of your back-story but I am familiar with little details of it."

I chuckled. I handed her back her hanky. "Well, whatever it is, keep it to yourself. I don't want to confirm it anyway." I winked at her then left.

**OOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_What do you mean you can't find him?"_

"_We're doing the best we could, Ledina."_

"_Well, do better than your best!"_

"Hey, handsome," I approached Light Yagami.

"Hi," he answered silently. I looked at him for a long time then at L who was regarding me with a soft gaze. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You look like you need some air, want a tour around?" I asked Yagami.

"Thank you but Misora-san already did."

I faked a heartbroken sigh then I looked at L again. I said, "You look like shit as ever, Lawliet."

"I have had the pleasure of hearing rumors about your complaints, Agent Kroiger." L answered sternly but kindly.

I did not let myself get intimidated. "They're not rumors, L."

"Leave us, Yagami-kun."

I put a hand on Yagami's arm and said, "Please stay. I am not in the mood to talk to my boss right now."

"Leixa," L said again. I waited but he said no more.

"I'd be on the lounge if there would be any more crap to be picked up on, L."

I left and went back to the lounge. I saw Nicoline and Mello talking. I joined them for fun. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing," Nicoline turned pink.

"Oh, have I stumbled into a conversation about romance?" I teased.

Mello shot a glare at me. I kept going on, "You know, Mademoiselle, Mello here is a sure catch but you need to be careful. He doesn't only break hearts but also hymens."

Nicoline didn't appreciate that remark. Mello gritted his teeth. "I wonder what your first time was like."

I laughed. I laughed that it hurts like hell. I did not say anything however.

"Excuse me, Leixa, but I don't think it's proper for anybody to intrude in people's conversations offhandedly." Nicoline's words were angry but said in a calm tone.

"But you were dating now, right?"

Nicoline winced. Mello really looked like he wanted to hit me.

"Come on, Ray and Naomi are not fun anymore. Maybe I should bet on the two of you this time." I added again.

"Shut up, Lei." Mello said warningly.

"I am only goofing around with your girl here," I answered in defence. "That's what Francesca does."

"Well, you're nothing like my best friend." Nicoline backfired.

I wasn't offended. It was enjoyable. I know I should be embarrassed or at least stop but I wasn't myself lately. It must have been the week.

Quillish appeared all of a sudden. I glanced at him and then I noticed him coming closer towards us. Mello and Nicoline looked at him imploringly. The old man handed me something.

"I regret what happened everyday, Ledina." He was saying. "Lilo was a good man till death."

I looked at the pocket watch he handed me. Then I looked at him, shocked.

"I thought you said you couldn't find this?"

Quillish smiled sadly. "I am saving it for the right moment."

I felt drained. I snapped at him. "Right moment?"

He said nothing further. I saw Nicoline and Mello exchanged curious looks.

I stood up and did not look at any of them. I started walking away with the pocket watch in my palm and I never looked back.

**OOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"_I can't understand. Why is this happening?" I gripped the plate and threw it across the wall. The police were trying to calm me down._

"_Ledina, we will find your brother. Tell us first what we need to know about this man."_

"_Look, I already described what he looked like. Now just find him!"_

"_We can't snap our fingers and perform a miracle!"_

_I threw a coffee mug at them. They finally got me to my knees to calm me down. I was crying hard. "I want you to find Laurenzo! That is all I ever wanted."_

"Lilo was my grandfather," I said as I watched Matt puff a smoke from his cigarette. The boy just looked at me.

Then he asked, "So yesterday was his death anniversary. No wonder why you looked so gloom. Were you close to him?"

I shifted from my seat. I sighed. "I'm troubled."

"With what?"

"The way Mello and Nicoline looked at me and now you," I tried to keep my voice steady. "I do not need concern and pity, Matt."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"I was hoping you would understand."

"I do," Matt sounded sincere but I looked away.

"You don't, no matter how I explain it to you." I run a hand through my blonde locks then chuckled.

"Grandfather used to tell me about my mother. He named her Samara. Like the tree, you know."

Matt listened. I went on. "He raised her alone. She was adopted. In reality we aren't really related. But I kept thinking about how many bastards are out there and mother was lucky to have Lilo."

I looked down at the pocket watch. "Mother got married when she was fifteen to father who was eleven years older. Then it turns out he has another family. Grandfather blamed himself for that especially when mother killed herself."

"Lei, I'm—really sorry."

"Anyway, grandfather said that Samara trees are very strong trees and the leaves are always good to look at. He also said that he regretted naming my mother that, thinking it gave her false expectations for herself. So in his later years he became callous and he always pushes me around. But he loved me. He was just scared to love me too much."

"Lei," Matt looked at me helplessly.

I looked back at him. "The thing is, Matt, we don't have to tell people all the time what hurts us. Now I know that makes me a hypocrite but honesty has a price. I am really okay now, Matt."

"Tell me more,"

"No."

"You told Near things, right?" Matt sounded hurt. "Why not me?"

I averted my gaze. "I can tell you women from where I come from are expected to be dominated by men but aren't all women in the world treated that way?"

Matt fell silent. Then he said, "Then why did you have to find your brother by yourself?"

I snapped. "So you have been researching about me? Why, Matt? Are you that bored? You always knew and now you are analyzing me?"

"Lei, I just want to—"

"I don't need help from any man," I stood up and looked down at him. "Don't judge me so easily, Matt. Whatever my records reveal it is nothing compared to the reality I have put up with while growing up."

"Lei, listen to me."

"I have to attend to my duties now," I turned my back away from him. "Unlike some people."

I walked away from him and once again, did not look back.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

_Being a prostitute is a slow, torturous moment. You aren't just dying inside, you are dying everyday. And people are right about it when they say a woman doesn't choose this kind of life. I never did. I wasn't exactly presented with choices. I need to find my brother and according to the latest police report, he was sold to slavery as a sex commodity. Imagine how that discovery shook my world. I have to put myself out there and rely on myself alone. I have promised to him, didn't I? And he is blind, for crying out loud! He needs me. _

_I sold myself around to get to syndicates and I earned my pimps' trust. The whole thing was consuming me that sometimes I know I wasn't the same peasant girl anymore back in Leipzig. I was afraid of myself. If this goes on, I will be one of those people who become detach from their moral integrity. But what about moral integrity? Screw self-worth. I know I am getting closer to my brother._

_We were captured in Thailand. I was brought to some sort of center for children who were abused. People talked to me a lot. I didn't talk back. I distance myself. I can't explain how I felt. I just need to be violated again. It's what made me strong. It's what made me who I am. I need to be strong._

"Ledina, I know you'll be here."

"Go away, Quillish."

The old man did not listen to me. He kept coming closer. I finally turned around to slap him. My voice shook. "You said you will seal my records. You said I could start a new life."

"You're not starting a new life." He answered. "You're just running away from what you already have."

"Oh, you wouldn't know a damn thing about me!"

Quillish adjusted his glasses. "I'm very sorry if it makes you feel this way, Ledina."

"It's Leixa Kroiger!" I shouted at him.

"Listen, child."

"I am not a child!"

_I finally met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I kept telling myself not to let an older man possess me because it destroyed my mother. I'm not sure if I ever wanted to be married. Marriage ties you to prison. I don't want a prison life. I want to be a free woman. I want my brother to see the world; to see the world and all its ugliness, its warfare and blood. But I also want him to see flowers and the sky. _

_A man named Quillish took me to his orphanage. He said that I could choose from options. I chose to train myself in combat and he allowed me. By eighteen, he let me work for government agencies to eradicate syndicates who sell children and women. I still couldn't find Laurenzo._

_Quillish never doubted my strength and he always believed in me. Maybe I was looking for a father or for another Lilo. But I loved Quillish as any woman will love a man._

"Ledina, please."

"I just want you here." I said softly, almost to myself. "I just want to start a new life with you here with me."

Quillish placed a hand on my shoulder. I turned to him and said the words I should have said a long time ago.

"Take me as your wife, Quillish."

"You always said you want to travel around the world and become no one's property."

"I know that but with you, I just…" I was unable to go on.

"You are young, Ledina."

"I don't want to be that young anymore."

"Please listen to me carefully," He took my cheeks with his hands. He looked at me deeply in the eyes. "You never need to be scared of what you have become. What matters is the person you strive to become and you know that this is not what you want. I saw you with the kids, Ledina. I saw how you take care of Near and the others."

"I only want one other thing back," I felt the tears. "I want Laurenzo back."

He was about to say something else when I started to sing the song my brother always liked.

_Let me love you_

_Come close to me_

_Locked in my arms_

_You'll still be free_

_Don't be frightened, my half-flying blue bird_

'_Cause my love has no walls,_

_No walls, no ceilings_

_No walls, no ceilings, no floors._

He embraced me tightly and sang with me until I felt stronger again.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

The next day I helped Near with his rubber ducks. He asked me to join him for a race and I obliged. I dwell on pleasing him, trying to draw my mind away from melodrama. He noticed that something occupied my mind while we were playing but he said nothing.

Mello and Matt walked towards us and asked me if I could speak to them privately.

"Okay, before you get all bitchy, we just want to tell you that whatever we did, we did it because we care about you." Matt said.

"And because I want you to quit pissing Nicoline off," Mello added.

I waited without saying a word.

"I have connections with the Soviet Union's most wanted criminals." Mello stated the obvious. "And I asked around and well, they know where your brother is. I will be contacting them tomorrow. L also wanted to aid on it alongside finding Cheska. So...you cool with that?"

"You really should mind your own business, Mihael." I walked to him and then hugged him tight. "But I'm glad you didn't."

Mello didn't breathe or move while I hugged him. Then I let go and said, "Leave Matt and I alone for a while, okay?"

Mello didn't have to be told twice. When Matt and I were finally alone, I asked him to tell me why he cared so much.

"I really like you, Lei." He said timidly. "Now I know it seems stupid but I know it's not a crush."

"Really? You're too young to know about love."

"Well, I'm not saying that you should give me a chance but I believe that if you keep ignoring me, I'll only become persistent."

I chuckled. "And you can predict this because?"

Matt looked at me, his face grave. "I know about you and Quillish and the history you have together. You told me not to judge you and I won't. What I'm saying is that you're not like any girl I know, Lei. I can live with that."

He shifted his gaze down. "I also want to tell you that you could be free and strong as you want and you can treat me like a crap. You don't even need to acknowledge me. I just want you to let me spend time with you, even as friends. Because, like the song goes, the thought of you leaves me breathless…god, I suck at this…" He bent his head down and slapped a hand to his forehead.

I didn't laugh. I wasn't amused with this. I was touched however. I waited for him to say something else.

"And you know, you might think I am after you because Mello has Nic and all but that's not it," Matt said. "I really liked you first before Mello liked Nic."

"Okay,"

"And I really just want to tell you this so, you know, maybe you could think about it. But...yeah, I am contradicting myself."

"You're not good with punch lines, Matt." I finally chuckled.

"Yeah, I suck at swooning ladies." Matt smiled nervously. "Must be the CVS, huh?"

I just smiled back.

"So, uh, good luck with your brother…and uh, Quillish."

"Matt, come here."

He stepped closer. I asked, "Do you think I'll be as strong as a Samara tree?"

He blinked. Then he adjusted his goggles and replied, "I think you don't need to be a Samara tree at all. I think a Ledina tree should exist. If ever, you know."

I smiled wider. He added, "I think the Ledina tree could kick the Samara tree's ass anytime."

He sounded foolish but I was thankful. I kissed him on the cheek. "Maybe I will think about it."

"Okay, cool, sure." Matt looked away and scratched his head. "I'd appreciate that."

"You've been sweet, Matt."

"Okay."

Mello entered the scene again. He looked from Matt's red face then at mine then back at Matt. Then he laughed.

"What, man?" Matt demanded.

"Uh, nothing." Mello stepped back then he started shouting. "Yeah, I want my ten dollars, Nic! Told you they'll hit it off."

Nicoline barging to the room, "Leixa, why? He is just a kid."

I put my hands on my waist. "Well, you're not too perfect either, Mademoiselle."

"I'm only a year older!" Nicoline pointed out.

"Hey, Lei, quit it." Mello placed an arm on Nicoline's shoulder. Nicoline blushed. When Matt and I saw this, we burst out laughing too.

Mello was red now just like Matt was earlier. "Well, you're all going to hell, anyway!"

He stormed out with Nicoline following behind.

"We'll go to hell?" Matt said. "That doesn't even make sense."

"He just couldn't think of a smart line anymore."

We fell silent.

"So...where do we go?" Matt asked.

I smiled. "I don't know. What I know is I am moving forward and finding my brother. You?"

"I want to go where you go."

"In that case, to L's office."

"Why?"

I winked at him. "It's time to show that man what a woman wants around here."

I took Matt by the arm and we walked together. I told him what I intend to do with the investigation in finding Francesca and that L should agree with it. Matt and I joked and laughed about a lot of things since then. I never allowed myself to be owned. But that doesn't stop me from longing companionship.

I finally know that I am weak. Nothing is wrong about being weak. You just have to be weak around the right kind of people. And I felt even stronger knowing that.

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Leixa's full name is on the FAQ section of this story in case you are wondering. That was another POV that requires "reading between the lines." I hope I justified this OC enough and the insights I tried to incorporate were felt. She also has a theme song. It's "****No good for me****" by The Corrs.**

**We are almost done with the POVs. Up next is the Telesco/Pablito POV. Then L's (I kind of have a surprised for this one) and finally Light's. Am I the only one excited for Francesca's witty narration to come back to AFE?**

**I'm guilty of missing her. I feel bad for putting her in a dire pinch.**

**And once again, I want really nice reviews and some opinion regarding who is your most favourite OC...Francesca? Nicoline? Or Leixa? State your reasons. **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**


	24. Peculiar Events: an extract from journal

**Just three chapters to go including this one and Francesca would be coming back. I realized how empty it has been without her since she is what made AFE what it is. I still couldn't believe I'll end up making an LXOC story. I never planned on it but I trusted my instinct on the first chapter and the first helpful review I got from it. I never thought it would take me this far****. Browsing through the contents of this story, especially my notes, made me realize how this single piece of literature made me confident of myself not only as a writer. All your reviews are your generous insights and I could see most of you took the time to really express how you feel about me and my craft. I am eternally honored and the depth of my gratitude constantly expands. There are plenty of LXOC stories being written these days and you don't know how much it means to me that you have chosen this (despite that my grammar is flawed) and looked forward to it all the time. There are so many of you reviewers I have yet to thank and we really did reach a simple connection as writer and reader.**

******Okay, enough of the drama, Harley. Thank you for the brand new reviewers: nonisu, Linnerzz, HappyBerry117, Bloody Vyvyan, Ta Mere, just another reviewer, Curry Bird, you-stole-all-the-names, Nameless-Sinner and XVideleX**

**If I get at least fourteen reviews in two days for this, I'll post L's POV the next day after that! That's a deal. **

**It's time for another POV chapter and this time it's Leonard Telesco and Pablito who will be telling the story. This is quite short and not much substance. But a story wouldn't be as satisfactory without the never-ending twists and turns, would it? I could only hope you would eagerly read this still like the other POVs even though these two characters are only extra. This chapter I think has a very important role in the story and a lot will be revealed here and all of you could just interpret what the mission is truly about.**

**Peculiar events****: an extract from Telesco's journal**

**Pablito**

I have to compromise myself in a difficult situation. Upon my return to my lodgings in Nigeria, I was yet again summoned by the gentlemen I have been secretly working with for months since it all started happening. Ofelia has no clue of what terrors I have brought in the business, circumstances more frightening than my cousin Salvador's expenditure of drugs. During these past few days I have left Italy to spend my time here isolated from the family. My sister had visited shortly before and I was afraid that will be the last time I will see her. I dreaded the reinforcements that will be sent by any agency that has been suspicious of my activities. So I went into hiding, claiming it as a vacation. I might have been a coward but there is no time to waste. I have in my possession something that could destroy my reputation and my family at one sweeping motion of hand.

I walked to my small desk on the far corner of the old room and flicked open the lampshade. I placed the guarded suitcase above the bed and took the notebook in my hands. It was not only a month ago when I received this anonymous package delivered to my office. I recently discovered that it was a dead man's journal. I shrugged the last remaining amount of conscience and proceeded invading the privacy once more. I scanned the page I was reading before I was interrupted by my sister's arrival. Puzzling it was that one notebook would control my fate and would lead me to despair. I am dealing with cruel and powerful enemies and for now there is no other way but to retreat.

I was not even sure who to trust anymore. I have no sanctuary to call in for. I am a lost man.

I took a huge bite from the bread I picked up on the way. I read the clear handwriting of the famous anthropologist.

_February 16, 2006_

_Denmark_

_Let the records show my findings to this man I will sacrifice my life for at any lengths. Let the records also show that I have unearthed a deadly secret, one that could poison thousands of lives if not prevented._

_He immediately confirmed my findings of the stones. He advised me to give one to him for further analysis. I made my own conclusions with this artifact. It was over ten centuries old. The carvings are distinct to only one civilization I am yet to discover. There is no other proof but I will support my half-baked theories for now with more divulgence._

_The locations of the three main stones are as follows: East Indies, Russia and Africa. The countries were randomly selected by whoever scattered these unusual stones. It is to my deepest fear that I am in a quandary as for this moment._

I paused and wiped the sweat on my forehead. I pushed myself from the chair and proceeded in opening the windows for air. I loosened my tie and unbutton my cuffs. Then I sat back again and dwelled on the late old man's thoughts, allowing each word to sink in and consume me.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Leonard Telesco**

My wife Ingrid insisted for me to take my medication concerning my diabetes that day. I remembered it garishly since it was the final thought I had as a breathing human being before my throat was slashed.

The morning started out usual. L has not been in touch with me for quite some time and knowing the boy I could tell he is engrossed with a perplexing case at hand. My mind was also trying to discern my recent discovery and when the right time comes, I plan to share facts with him just like the old days when he was still a fresh sleuth. While taking my breakfast, Ingrid told me about Quillish's phone call a night ago. I told her that I will take it in my office later.

"When will we go back to England, dear?" she asked me. I looked at her warmly and told her it will be soon. I just needed to arrange some more papers and then we will leave Saudi Arabia.

I met Ingrid when I was twenty-one while she was divorced by the age of twenty-seven and she joined me in several journeys to the Pacific and Europe. I married her two years after a successful debut when I have been known for many findings and published documentaries regarding my line of work. Ingrid stood by me devotedly. She was the reason mainly for my inspiration, as well as our two stepdaughters, for me to win a Nobel Prize.

After packing up my documents and my journal most importantly, I walked towards the secluded building and into my office doors.

The first thing that struck me that was out of the ordinary is the room was dark and the blinds were drawn. My secretary Jenive usually comes here by seven in the morning. I recall always finding her on her desk, already punching numbers for me, greeting me with her youthful smile.

I knew something was odd. What I didn't count on was a single step on the floor as I walked to open the blinds. I slipped just a little and by the time I pulled the blinds open to let sunshine soothe in, I found Jenive on the floor, in her own pool of blood, mouth open into a silent, unnerving scream.

And there was a stun pain on the back of my head. Then darkness.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Pablito**

"..._to this man I will sacrifice my life for at any lengths"_

The words echoed persistently on my mind. I was not very sure what to make of it. Who was the man Telesco mentioned? There was no name wherever I scan in the journal. I could only deduce that this man is somebody undistinguished or somebody very famous that exposing his name will pay an awful price. Whoever he might be, Telesco respected him an awful lot. His last journal entry was the one dated was this year, last March.

I ran my eyes to the paragraphs and realized that the information, though not directly stated, holds a real deep secret I was not sure I should be reading about. But why do they want me to keep this? Wouldn't this rouse suspicion? I was ordered to keep my code of loyalty and silence when I took them as clients. Now I am thinking it was all a big mistake. These darn stones! They hold my neck by a noose.

I threw myself into the bed. I stared endlessly at the ceiling. Nothing brought me ease. I could hear the small droplets of water from the rooftop, dripping down the wall. I watched the event with disinterest. My mind was empty but I am terrified. I am a dead man. I know now of my fate. Is there a way to escape it?

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Leonard Telesco**

They started with my toes.

I screamed into the tight wrappings of cloth on my mouth as I closed my eyes, choking back the tears. I was naked and lying next to Jenive's corpse.

A man's voice was murmuring to me serenely, in faint Italian. The distinct language brought me dizziness. I couldn't understand any word. Finally, he spoke in English and said, "Where are the stones?"

The thought conjured in my mind was fatal death after this gruesome torture. I shut my eyes and whimpered. His scalpel began gnawing on my toes. He let me weep. Then he asked his question again. I wasn't going to answer him and he knew that. So he only gagged me like this to prevent my screams being heard.

I defiantly held my ground and he chuckled.

His scalpel went slowly up and I dreaded the horror but refused to surrender.

A painful twitch on my left thigh made me shiver slightly. He asked again. I glared at him.

Minutes after all my toes in the right foot were gone.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Pablito**

I woke up an hour later. The sky was still dark outside.

I hid the notebook under the futon and went to a small sink to wash my hands. To my shock the door opens. A gun was fired. My knee took the hit.

"Good evening, Seńor Mendez."

I went down to my ankle and checked the blood dripping between my fingers as I held my knee. My breath started to shake. My mind was swimming in panic. With enough energy, I picked up myself and tried to crash into my assailant. He wouldn't let me escape, of course. He knocked me down with a single punch. All I could hear was the violent beats of heart and the cries that seem to come from me. I closed my eyes.

**Leonard Telesco**

I lost the will to live once they cut off my arms.

The pain was never bearable but I managed to detach myself from the current state. There were two of them hovering above me, talking in their language. I tried my best to pay attention. My whole body was giving up itself. Finally one of them removed my gag. They asked me again. I cursed them in Arabic.

Then they went for my ear.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Pablito**

The taste of a gun barrel between my teeth and tongue was bitter and rusty.

They confiscated all the documents and the journal. I could only watch in vain as they scanned through the pages. They looked at each other and nodded. Then one of them placed the gun on my mouth.

I thought of my sister one last time and her smile and scent. I wished her well. There were no last words from either party as they stood there above me.

Just one pull from the trigger and it ended.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Narrator Point**

"We got what we want, didn't we?"

A man, thirtyish of age, said to his companion who was examining the journal closely. His comrade winced in disgust as he cleaned up Pablito's remains.

"Not yet, _amigo_." The man holding the journal replied. "But soon."

The night dispersed into dawn and a man that holds an important clue was never uncovered again.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**British Port, 10:30 AM**

Mello woke up to fish out his leather garments from the laundry basket. He bothered not washing them, preferring the jacket and gloves just the way they were. Matt was on the floor, sleeping and Mello was kind enough to kick him as a wake up call. The red-haired boy grunted and kept sleeping anyway. He had only been sleeping for an hour. L asked him to work late as usual. Mello decided to leave him alone.

Inside the lounge, Near was making preparations for another project. He was consulting Leixa with the demands of his new architectural device. Mello passed them by and snorted at Near's progress but the younger boy stared in space.

"You're up and about," Nicoline beamed at him. He blushed and sat beside her.

"What is everybody up to now?"

Nicoline shrugged and her shoulders and replied, "Ray and Naomi are quarreling again about the rescue operations. They have found the journal, Telesco's that is."

"And L has it now?"

"It may seem so."

Leixa yawned and felt her cell vibrating on her cargo pants. She snapped it open and made noncommittal responses. Then she waited until Ray and Naomi settled in a sofa. Near was still busy with his foundations when Leixa said,

"Salvador Mendez has escaped."

One small block from the structure of Near's carefully-crafted building fell.

**Can anybody see where I am going with this chappie? I have planted some new clue and this is a little bit of a cliffhanger. ****Review still!**


	25. Aspects of Catharsis, L's POV

**We all waited for this, didn't we? And here it is finally! (drum rolls) L's POV! (dramatic fireworks) God, I am such a dork!**** It's so difficult to freeze into bitterness when L has already melted me into something sweeter everytime I think about him...and how his hot body looks when he does Capoeira...(stuck on the mental image)**

**Here you will encounter L's point of view on his relationship with Cheska dear, Naomi, Light and the late Telesco. A hint of ****LNaomi**** at some point. ****LLight**** friendship explored. I could only hope you will all have a good time reading this. **

**On a side not****e, I would just like to inform that Misa Amane appears somewhere from Chapter Thirty or so.**

**To the new reviewers, I extend my gratitude: ****micksgirl07, Too-Lazy-to-ever-review, SunMoonAndSpoon, inu-furuba freak, BleedingBlackRose9311 and XBloodMageRikaX**

**This chapter is dedicated to my writer-friend ****Aquarius Dragon****. Just because we both agree L oozes with raw, original sex appeal and is far better good-looking, and possibly better in bed, than Light Yagami. Come on, anyone who isn't guilty of fantasizing of doing L can leave now. I'm sure everyone will stay so let us move on.**

**The big question is...should there be a ****FraLight****? Well, there certainly is somehow. Just wait and see. **

**FraLighLawliet****...hmmmm...**

**And just when I thought I lack imagination...**

**Catharsis**** means "**_**emotional release**_**" and considering L's personality, he definitely needs one.**

**XXX**

_Absence does for love what the wind does for flame:_

_It extinguishes the weak and feeds the strong._

**XXX**

**Aspects of Catharsis **

I thought at first that I was looking at big green eyes when I've first seen her face. Then when I've been successful in asking her to remove the layers of thick make-up and contact lens, I met a pair of big, round dark brown eyes that flicker when emotion passes them. She always had her hair down, curling and glossy. When she had pulled it up to reveal more of her face without the concealer and powder, I can see neither blemish nor perfection in her skin but it seems to glisten especially when she adds it with a touch of smile from her plain lips without the lipstick. It is the image I kept hidden in one of my frames of mind when I remember her. It is what I have learned to see and adore. When I had become intimate with her during our first meetings it was only for the sake of measuring her abilities. I thought it was almost surreal and that it wasn't anything else, but it really wasn't like anything else I have ever encountered because this time, I had loved.

I would shake myself a million times whenever I realize this, hoping I've gotten a little brain damaged. My mental state is perfectly sound though but it is that annoying thing in my chest that beats wild and free in those small, quiet moments we share talks of topics only she and I could comprehend. She eats my cakes with grace and approves of my reasons while I applaud her sentiments. Everything we speak about, everything we discuss, every little thing is always so vigor and exalting in form. She could understand very well and her understanding is flattering. She had been both withdrawn and personal. And when we kiss, when she looks up at me to tell me the things she could only be satisfied when I am giving it to her, I am ashamed that I could only be nothing short of a fool trying to win games.

I had loved her. I was a man of passions and sorrows with her and not just a processing unit of information I've believed myself to be for a very long time. It was a delicate emotion that I kept in check. I was nothing more than a human being when she pulled me close to her and whenever I tell her I love her, it crushes me inside because the feeling leaves me unutterably weak.

I was not sure but thinking about her now is a dismissive thought. I can't let it cloud my faculties especially not when I should be concentrating on the case and the rescue mission for her. I have to admit that I was nearly paralyzed when the news arrived and I was scared, scared like hell for the first time in my long years of crime detection. I can't protect and I failed her in many ways. I can't forgive myself somehow for still being apart from her. I am not a man easily swayed by the senses or whims but I always remember the slight fragrance of green apples when she is around me. I see the tinge of pink in her cheeks that she hides every time I compliment her. I get lost in the moist from the same eyes when she told me honestly how she doesn't want to be with me anymore. And the words that came out from my mouth that day...I wasn't really sure if they were right. But I hope I convinced her to stay because I sincerely am truthful when I say each day without her is a humdrum existence that begs to be silenced.

My Francesca is always trying her best to beautiful not just in appearance but also in her whole character. She gets to be extreme when she dresses up like a doll all the time. Her clothes are decent but always calling attention to any man that looks at her. She has her face made up and it is indeed attractive but I always knew there is something beneath that. When I've gotten the chance to see her face without the cosmetics, I was astounded on how young she really is. Eighteen: I met her when she was only seventeen. I wondered what led her to become this seductress in bars and clubs around Florida. No matter how expensive or elegant the dresses are, no matter the shade of eye shadow or lipstick, there was always something she knew she lacks and then she started to make up for it with her wit. Smart girl she always was and knows her way in twisting people's minds. But again it wasn't enough so she hooked up with an older man.

I had desired for her too and it was only for her physical voluptuousness and stinging mental power. It was nothing really serious. She humored me and I returned the favor. After a while, I was not particularly paying attention to the day, I have fallen in love with her, knocked from my boots you would say, head over heels and so forth. I also noticed that her vanity is shy. She likes me to refer her beauty and brains all the time but feels embarrass and guilty of it that she shrugs it off. Then at other times, she loathes being compared with the other girls, always wishing to be different and defined. I concluded that she is a clever girl with unusual insecurities. What made Francesca a beautiful girl were always her eyes. If you penetrate through the contact lens and mascara and eyeliner, you'd see that she is young and with a look of an uncertain young lady who wants to be mature. She wants excitement and tease but I really can tell she only wants companionship and approval.

She could never admit it to me because she expects me to already know it. So I was rather confused when she wants to break up. There was nothing wrong about being overwhelmed. I get to spend everyday with her wondering why it feels good and right to be with her. Maybe I was being insensitive but I just can't change the way I feel for her now in the last minute. I thought relationships were supposed to be patiently built by two people who respect each other. Whenever I hear people talk about relationships before, I used to think they are exaggerating about the problems and the emotions wrapped in them. Then when I introspected myself I know they were right. Love kicks you when you're already grounded and you just wanted to fly away. It's a corny perception but there you have it. Look at me, talking about love. I know some would prefer me choking on my doughnut.

Speaking of which, Nicoline pointed out to me that I was eating more since Francesca has disappeared. It wasn't anything to be worried about since females shared a higher level of percentage in eating disorders. I'm not doing it for the satisfaction of binging and purging. I am simply craving for sweets. Quillish has told me I have a fixed oral fixation and that was fine. I didn't exactly grow up in an average environment anyway. I needed sugar for mental processing. Come to think of it, maybe I just needed Francesca before I go mad.

Rubbish, I shouldn't think so much of it. The fact is I was simply disappointed of myself.

"You should eat something else, rice and meat maybe."

My line of thought was interrupted when I heard Light Yagami speak. I didn't glance at him. I know what I will be seeing. Handsome face, hazel brown eyes like his shade of hair. He would probably be half-frowning and amused. Teenagers like him are perceptive. He was also some sort of the perfect student, straight A's and father's a chief of police in the Kanto district of Japan. He also helped in two cases and solved it. A developing sleuth. Impressive résumé no matter how you look at it. I chose well when I chose him. Although he was in a rough patch after Mello's disregard of his skills since my gentle-minded successor has a streak of competitive drive in him all the time.

"I apologize if my habits distract you, Light-kun." Japanese courtesy is something I respect and his presence around my office is nearly comforting.

"Not at all, Ryuuzaki." He answered back with the same courteousness. He was outside of the intelligence and is only a recruit so I have asked the other members to address me in my new alias to prevent Light Yagami from acquiring my real identity until he is fully approved. And I think the name suits me. Don't you?

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Now that you have asked, I missed my breakfast." I looked at his earnest face.

"You should have said something at least."

"I know," He shifted on his seat, brown eyes piercing and steady. "I just don't want to disturb you."

"You do no such thing, Light-kun."

"My English is not that developed so if I accidentally choose the wrong set of words, I apologize. I could still do well in conversations. I'll be working on improving it too."

"I believe you are addressing Mello's reaction to your last conversation with him." I recalled. "Something he misunderstood when you just chose the wrong set of words."

Light let out a chuckle. He kept our gazes steady. "Well, I seem to always burst his bubble."

"Mello doesn't like change especially if it does not favor him."

"You seem fond of him," Sarcasm, maybe? No, just a statement.

"I am fond of him," I held the saucer up as I sipped on my coffee. I said nothing more.

"Naomi-san is pretty nice." Light remarked. "She was very withdrawn and professional but easily approachable. I think I could work my way with our partnership. Why did you choose to pair me up with her, Ryuuzaki."

I placed my cup of coffee back to the table and gripped my knees with my fingers. I was not looking at him anymore. "I have esteemed Naomi's intelligence highly in many occasions and she is very aware of that. She had worked for me for almost three years now and I trust her."

I paused. "I trust her with my life."

I saw him blink. Then a small smile crept on his firm lips.

"Are there any questions you want me to answer before I hand you your first mission?"

Light was silent for a second then he rested his chin on his hand with his elbow on the desk, bending himself a little. He looked at me warily. "I know it is really none of my business, Ryuuzaki, but..." he paused hesitantly and then, "They talk about this agent working for you who went disappearing. Where you two—intimate?"

"Interesting choice of words," I eyed him. "Light-kun, you are becoming accustomed now to our code of 'trust is bullshit' pioneered by the lovely Agent Kroiger. Tell me, are you becoming uncomfortable with that?"

Light laughed at my response. "No, no, gomen ne, Ryuuzaki. I said it was none of my business."

"That may be but you're still thinking about it."

He frowned. "Oh?"

I nibbled on my thumb and posed some disinterest in the matter. "For the time being, you really should try to get along with the people around here. They're your colleagues and it will certainly delight Eva if you talk to her more often."

"Agent Jorgue is very pleasant although Mello doesn't approve my occasional visits with her." Light chuckled low and run a hand through his hair. I raised an eyebrow and looked off.

"How terrible," I said. "Eva is very dear to me."

When I thought about Nicoline, I feel somehow guilty. The weight of that guilt bears heavy in my mind. I tried not to show the abstraction of my thought to the young man but I could tell Light was already observing me in his graceful and methodical manner. I looked at him, met his eye and held his stare. He did the same thing, not giving anything as well. Then we both sighed.

"I'll see what I can do with Mello," I suggested. "He is of volatile nature. I think it is best that you get to his good side first, won't you agree?"

"Yes," the young lad smiled and pushed himself off the chair. "I shall go to the lounge now. Near has invited me for tea."

I tried not to smirk but failed. Light said, "He is more welcoming than your other successor."

"Perhaps you amuse him, Light-kun."

"Oh?"

He waited for me to say something more but I was paying my attention to what Near and the others hold promise for this rising agent.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"You're driving yourself mad."

"I didn't hear you come in."

Naomi stood in front of my door, hand on the knob, gentle eyes remain lucid as she stared at me.

"Certain steps are being taken and we are closer to her than we might think," Naomi remained on her position. I barely glanced at her.

"All will be well then," I answered simply.

She said nothing as I hear her coming closer at last. Then she said, "I'm worried that if we don't find her soon enough, it will be too late for you."

"You speak in riddles."

"You know what I mean." I could tell Naomi would have smiled sympathetically. "She has this hold on you but you are losing grip on her."

"Still in riddles."

"You still know what I mean by all these talks."

I spun my chair around to meet her gaze. I looked away first. "Has Light Yagami settled in his place?"

"Quillish had been giving him instructions. He is working with Matt about the locations where they might be hiding her."

"Excellent," I replied.

Naomi peered into my face some more, her lips and skin pale from the blue lighting of my office. She was searching for something more livid in my own face but I know that she could never see more than she could expect. I don't easily let people read me. This is not one of those times I'll let her in.

"I've missed you, L." She said in a whisper.

"And I you."

"Really?" Naomi shook her head and smiled. "You don't have to mean any of it. I just wish you would confide in me."

"Must I?" I looked at the floor on her feet.

"It's been almost two months." Naomi said. "I know all of us hope that we will find her and she will come back but after these weeks, how sure are we that could still hope for the best with her?"

"I follow well," I answered. "But all will be solved in the right time."

"You were never the one to speak of slow pace. You like to see progress."

I placed my chin on my hand and sighed. "There is a great forty-five percent chance she might still be alive."

"And the remaining percentage?"

"That I will never be with her again."

Something in Naomi's eyes flashed a moment. Sadness. Pity. Whatever it was, I couldn't look at it for long. I stood up. Then I started to walk to the door, stopped and faced her. "Do you strike me as the unfeeling type?"

She chuckled at that. "You're not concern about what people think now, do you?"

"Maybe I should listen to more to what they have to say." I released a small smile myself. "Maybe I need to listen to you."

"You used to." Naomi crossed her arms. She waited.

"Sometimes, when I—when I sit here," I began. "All I could think about is my death."

She blinked but said nothing.

"I think about the case all the time, about Leonard most of all. He was a dear friend. Quillish cared about him a great deal too." I leaned against the wall and closed the door softly. I looked up at the ceiling. "A dark force is engulfing all of us, Naomi. I knew I could reach into it, grab its heart and stab it but something else prevents me. I know a lot will happen in the future that will cost all our lives and divide what we stand for. These thoughts make me sad."

I looked at her steadily. "And my death—it will come for me."

"But not in this lifetime." She said. "Not when you were close to what you should deserve in the first place."

"You mean..." I raised an eyebrow, "..._love_?"

"At the very least."

We looked at each other for a long moment. I said with all lack of concern, "You always loved me."

"No need to state the obvious." Naomi laughed and shook her head, her bangs moving in the same direction, her eyes a little watery.

"And Ray?"

She examined my face some more and said, "I don't share that part with you."

"I understand." I scratched my head. "Naomi, you know I have thought greatly about you."

"Because I stood by you?"

"Even when I never asked."

"And Francesca?"

The sudden mention of her name every now and then breaks me in a way I never thought would. "She...remains..."

Naomi looked off and breathed heavily.

"...everything to me."

"And she loves you."

"How?" I said gently. "How much does she still love me after all these? If she comes back and she sees me, will she ever feel the way she did before? Will she stay the same?"

"I don't know, we don't know that." Naomi was looking down at her shoes. I walked towards her.

With a stronger conviction that I have expected, I let go of this phrase. "I want to know how I feel and what this all means. I want to know if it's real. I want to know everything."

She looked back at me, eyes glistening with tears. "And you will. She will be back. I promise you, I promise you, L Lawliet with all my heart that I wouldn't let you fall apart."

I smiled and nodded, biting my thumb. "How thoughtful of you. Thank you. And I honestly mean that gratitude."

Naomi took me by the shoulders and showed me some more of her tears that this time I couldn't look away. "For now, I want you to believe."

"Believe?"

"In love itself."

"A corny adage."

"People need that faith. You need that faith. You need to believe."

"Of course I do." I closed my eyes. I tried to shut the buzzing sound in my ears. "I really want to."

She kissed my cheek and said good night. I watched her leave and I longed for her even more that I felt it throbbing wildly in my chest. There was a time I believed she was the one but that gaping hole was sooner filled by another woman and I have never been happier since it happened.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Light Yagami and Mello are in this awful dance of childish superiority. Mello was as unruly as ever, the sweet child, and Light was engaging his moods. If they were not throwing sarcasm in front of everyone, they were trying to catch Nicoline's attention the longest. Light was truly interested in her friendship but Mello, with his temperament, held suspicions. I was becoming tiresome of the act but needless to say, it keeps me entertained. Near was, I know. He was always delighted to witness his dear Mello displeasured. Leixa shares the same sentiment and once in a while she jumps in the war and asks Matt to do the same. When the four of them do gather, Mello would offhandedly let go of words with implication in the context and Light would shield himself with that polite manner of his. It goes on and on until one day Near decided to step in.

"Suppose I have two donkeys, one is smaller than the other, which one will I sell?" was Near's opening statement. Nicoline and I just stared at him.

Light was sipping his coffee languidly and was the first one to answer the random and surprisingly stupid question (for Near's part.)

"I will sell the small one."

Mello, never going to stand to be the last one in anything, interjected. "I will sell the bigger one."

Near and Light gazed at him. Mello defiantly reasoned out. "The bigger one would give more money hence—"

"If money is taken to the consideration, you have a point," Light smiled at him. "However it would be of great loss if this big donkey merits not much commodity as hailed. In old times, it is often wise to sell a smaller animal and keep the big one to yourself."

Mello scoffed. "You are not making sense at all, Yagami. Money is of course important. With money comes reputation."

"It is not practical."

"Well, I sure as hell would do as I want with the damn donkey."

"I did not say the other donkey was a big one." Near said. "What I did say was the one donkey is smaller than the other. Why would you assume the other one is bigger? What if the other one is that of the normal size of the donkey?"

"That logic also crossed my mind," Light answered calmly.

Mello glared at the two of them, somehow debating who the bigger enemy is. "Why are we debating about jackasses anyway? This is bull."

Light shrugged off the discussion easily and started a conversation with Ray. Near was satisfied with the show and proceeded playing his choo-choo train instead.

These kinds of challenges went on for days again. I wasn't completely interested in any of it. I just wanted a little peace although their noise practically keeps me company. Naomi and I never talked again and I can no longer speak alone with Nicoline since it would be impolite to Mello and I certainly do not wish to associate myself with ill intent with my young boy. So I kept to myself and retire to bed early, only to formulate theories now and again in my room.

I check Telesco's journal twice already and I confirmed that it was authentic but some of its most important pages were gone missing. It bugged me. I reread them over and over but no new lead surfaced. Frustrated I threw it aside and picked up the document regarding Pablito Mendez's disappearance. I browsed through it and wondered if his cousin Salvador has something to do with it and if I find him, I might find a new clue. The case was even more aggravating than I thought it would be. I got the Soviet Union on my heels and three government agencies in Europe have been demanding me all sorts of political mumbo-jumbo that I wish not to divulge my thoughts with.

By whim, I take comfort in the sound of the beetle that's been living in my office for quite some time now. I didn't want to do anything with it. When I am alone, it somehow assures me that there might still be some hope for me and this dreadful mystery.

I shouldn't let it get through me. I would disgrace myself if I allowed it so.

I took off my clothes and decided to take a bath. It must have been weeks since I washed myself. Luckily nobody ever minds. That made me wonder somehow. I was never the type to be conscious of my personal grooming but a cold shower does help in stressful situations.

And I have to control my coffee. I might die of caffeine poisoning. A less noble death it is for a man of my standing.

**oOOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"You were faking it, L!" Matt was flushing hard as he accused me.

"I wasn't," I answered him dismissively. "You can't prove I was."

Matt narrowed his eyes and took off his goggles. "I knew you were up to something the moment you asked me to play this game."

"I wasn't faking it," I said with a tone to end the discussion.

Matt frowned but held his ground. "I knew you were faking it."

"What is?" Leixa called from the other side of the room. "An orgasm?"

"No, dammit! L used some kung-fu technique on my guy!"

"Why are you playing that game, Matt? You know you suck at that."

"Do not! I don't suck at any computer game!"

"This one is an exception!" Leixa added.

"Would you be supportive once, Lei? I am getting duped here by L himself."

"Ah, my little catalyst!" Leixa started giving him kisses on the face. Matt squirmed away.

"Quit it! I'm trying to—oh man! You did it again, L!"

"Did what?" I smiled at him innocently. He grunted and kept pressing on the keys. Leixa giggled and fondled his hair.

I spend the last two days with Matt, distracting myself after I sent Quillish to Nigeria. And then one night on early October, Mello came from the lounge breathlessly. In short breaths, he formed a sentence that got me back to reality.

"We—found—her."

"Oh mercy!" Nicoline covered her mouth.

"Francesca—" Mello paused and added with a full force of voice, "...is alive!"

**Coming up next is Light's POV. I am becoming giddy. Maybe because I know that after Light, Francesca returns! And I am not forgetting your passed food association. To those who**** still wants to share theirs, you'll be most welcomed.**

**Uhm, would anybody want a list of the ****AFE soundtrack****? Here, I shall give even though you haven't answered my question yet. This only shows what a scatterbrain I am. **

**4ever- **The Veronicas** (Official AFE song)**

**Contagious- **Avril Lavigne** (FraLawliet)**

**Red Light Fever- **Liz Phair** (LightMisa)**

**I like- **Katy Rose** (NicoMello)**

**Come pick me up-**Ryan Adams** (LeixaMatt)**

**I could get used to this- **The Veronicas** (NaoRay)**

**Halo- **Bethany Joy Lenz** (Francesca)**

**Breathing- **Lifehouse** (L)**

**Quicksand- **Lilix** (Nicoline)**

**I'm a believer- **Smashmouth** (Mello)**

**No good for me- **The Corrs** (Leixa)**

**Geek in the Pink- **Jason Mraz** (Matt) **_giggles_

**Foolish Heart- **Nina** (Naomi)**

**I'd do anything- **Simple Plan **(Ray)**

**Notice Me- **Zeeta Bytes** (NicoLawliet)**

**Secret- **Maroon5 **(FraNear)**

**Bonus****: for the sequel "****Ploys of Conundrum****" **yes there's a sequel!

**Empty Apartment- **Yellowcard** (NearOC)**


	26. The AFE Experience is granted!

**An Announcement for all the AFE Spectators**

I would like to make it official. The livejournal community for this story is now open and offers these stories for your AFE experience! They're a collection entitled the "**THE LOUNGE TALES**." I decided to post this announcement so you could read the stories from the link I will give you and then you will submit a review using this particular chapter. I hope it won't be too much to ask.

**RULES**:

1.) Select "**Submit Review**" (y'all know how to do it)

2.) Encode the name (in capital letters) of the story and then your opinion (e.g. "**CHEESY FRIES**" and then your review below the title.) You can read all the stories and put one review for each but if you only read four or less then that's okay. I do suggest you read all since they're special and entertaining.

3.) Choose your favorite pairing story and explain why you have liked it most.

4.) If you have an lj-account, join the community now!

**LINK**: Go to my profile "**Writer Crafter Prevails**" and click "**homepage**." That will take you to my LJ. Then the latest entry features the link of the community. Have fun!

You can also click "**About the story**" in the navigation bar to check out banners for a pairing you approve of and upload it to your own computer.

**NOTE**: **BFD** means _Before Francesca's disappearance_ and **AFD** means _After Francesca's disappearance_

**XXX ****  
**

**THE LOUNGE TALES**

"**Forty Percent**" (BFD)

**Pairing**: FraLawliet (official)

**Genre**: Angst/Romance

**Additional Details**: Another 'stimulating' conversation provided with a blend of emotional intimacy.

**Summary**: _Francesca is left to her musings about a __favorite__ character while sharing another intimate detail to her eccentric lover._

**XXX **

"**Cheesy Fries**" (AFD)

**Pairing**: NicoMello (official)

**Genre**: Humor/Romance

**Additional Details**: Suggestive remarks and actions from both sides.

**Summary**: _Mello liked Nicoline for a long time but he finds her too uptight sometimes. All that can be changed when he sees her indulging herself on a snack and might just need his help cleaning off._

**XXX **_  
_

"**The Solicitor**" (AFD)

**Pairing**: NaoRay (official)

**Genre**: Humor/Romance

**Additional Details**: The famous 'Near wickedness' taunts again.

**Summary**: _The games just got more dangerous now that __Near__ decides to establish a puny obstacle._

**XXX **_  
_

"**Que**** sera, sera**" (AFD)

**Pairing**: LeiMatt (official)

**Genre**: Humor/Romance

**Additional Details**: Leixa's method to satisfy urges

**Summary**: _Matt is a computer geek. But can he handle real-life visuals?_

**XXX **_  
_

"**Aced**" (AFD)

**Pairing**: FraNear (unexplored)

**Genre**: Angst/Romance

**Additional Details**: Near reveals a layer of humanity using a card game.

**Summary**: _He loves puzzles and she was this particular one he couldn't solve._

**XXX **_  
_

"**Her Nocturnal Pedestal**" (AFD)

**Pairing**: NicoLawliet (unexplored)

**Genre**: Angst/Romance/Smut

**Additional Details**: Detailed and graphic sensually forbidden rendezvou_s. _

_**Summary**__: With Francesca gone, Nicoline soothes her way into L's affections and receivesa momentary blissful solitude in one night when reality is damned and passion is exalted_

**XXX **_  
_


	27. Trappings in complexities, Light's POV

**Hello my dearest readers. I am here. Are you still there?**

_**Acknowledgements**_**:****inu-furuba freak****, Videle, Too-Lazy-to-ever-review, ****BleedingBlackRose1026****,** **Namelesssinner, Rozel, Reona-chan, Archee-chan, kaisergirl, ****N.M. Smith - Mr. Cackles****, ****citrine.skittles.****, Lawlita, Miko Yamaguchi, ****cabbage-for-the-people**, **Absh, ****blood0stained0cherry0blossom****,****i've.got.purple.nail.polish**

**Trappings in complexities**

On the evening of my sister's birthday, a strange couple visited my house.

It was supposed to be my mother who answered the door. Since I don't want to disturb her while washing the dishes, I quickly rose from my chair and answered the doorbell. It might be one of Sayu's visitors who came late for her party that ended an hour ago. I opened the door and before I could step outside and greet the visitors, the hairs at the back of my neck stood up. I've seen these people before. I got the distinct feeling that they've been following me around for the last two days.

Trying not to lose face, I regain full composure and smiled. "Can I help you?"

The woman took a step forward. She looked like a working woman, her lime green turtleneck sweater emphasizing her curves and maturity at the same time. Her eyes were steady. She reached out a hand for me to shake. I welcomed it. She introduced herself as Maki Shoto. I glanced at the boy beside her. He seemed younger than me and he was glaring as if I offended him in some way. He was all-leather. I almost felt hot just looking at him wearing the garments.

"We came here to see your father, Yagami-kun."

"He will be home soon. Would you like to come in?"

"Bout time," the blond leather punk pushed me aside and made his way without preamble. Maki Shoto followed him and placed her shoes on the side. She told the boy to stop and take off his as well and wear the slippers she was handing him. He scoffed but followed anyway.

My mother appeared and greeted them warmly, thinking the unpleasant boy was one of Sayu's classmates. Maki Shoto approached her and asked to talk to her privately. My mother blinked but she nodded graciously and they retired to the living room. I was left with the rebel boy on the dinner table. We sat across each other and he just stared at me. He looked at the piece of chocolate cake and without even asking, he took the fork and started to eat it.

I saw these strangers two days ago on the subway. I know they are following me and I don't like it. I don't know what they want but I could only surmise that I shouldn't make any obvious resistance on my part especially now they are inside the household. Better wait for the best case scenario. They hardly look like bad people but they did leave me a creepy impression.

The blond boy kept chewing, his eyes never drifting away from mine. There was a scathing presence in his gaze that I was quick not to ignore. His eyes, a strange color of light blue, were accusing, never even faltering for any other expression other than the obvious infuriation they held. I remained composed; trying not to intimidate him but how was I intimidating him in the first place? I watch him quietly fumbling through his garments. He produced a chocolate bar. Ah, whether he wanted to have a chocolate-induced heart attack is not my problem. People with sweet tooth always bothered me.

I wonder if I should eavesdrop with my mother and that lady's conversation. My sense of decorum prevented the urge from taking place. The blond boy looked at me, amused, and this only worsened my confusion.

"Yagami Light," he began, leaning closer to the table. His accent was latent while speaking my language. The thick smell of dark chocolate ensnarled my nostrils, making me a little nauseated.

"Yes?"

"I'm Mello."

Good, introductions after ten minutes of awkward silence.

"You look pained, what's the matter?" That was not concern in his tone. It was rather mockery, his eyes becoming narrowed slits. I said nothing in response.

"You have good records in school, Light." Mello just kept biting on the chocolate bar without a care.

"I supposed that bears significance in this conversation."

"Damn right it should, I didn't fly here to Japan to speak broken Japanese for nothing."

"Your Japanese sounds fine."

"Fuck off." Mello said that one in English then he pushed himself off the table, just in time when Sayu came down.

She looked at Mello, lips parted and then my sister gazed at me. I shrugged my shoulders. Mello did something out of line (to my own interpretation.) He took a box from somewhere in his tight leather garments and tossed it at Sayu who caught it clumsily. "Happy birthday, girl."

"You didn't have to bother." I tried to smile. _We don't even know you._

As if reading my mind, Mello glared. "Yeah, well, I know there's an occasion and Maki bothered being nice so shut up and let your sister look at her gift."

With that statement, he shot a look at Sayu who hurriedly fumbled through her present. She unwrapped it and looked inside the box. Then she muttered gratitude at Mello and bowed her head. Mello scoffed and sat back down. My mother and the Maki person returned. I tried to read my mother's expression but to my surprise, she was smiling without deception. Anxiety found its way in my veins.

"Light," she was saying, "Maki-san and this boy would like to meet with you and your father tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

Maki smiled at me in the most professional way imagined. She frowned at Mello then saw Sayu. She greeted her a happy birthday. My sister sensed that she was nice so she thanked her for the unexpected gift.

"Thank you for your consideration, Sachiko-san," Maki bowed and she and the boy headed to the door. My mother bowed for the last time before she closed the door and they disappeared.

I don't know if I slept well that night. Usually I even consider myself a good sleeper. I get proper hours of sleep and I feel refreshed until the end of the day but sleeping doesn't really energize me. I consider myself to be a 'mind person.' Mental stimulation is the one thing that energizes me. I'm not talking about excellent grades in school or even chess games. I can do all of that but what I'm looking for is the excitement of solving mysteries. My father is a cop and he said I'm fairly good with crime-solving myself even though I'm only seventeen.

Since I'm currently in that line of thought, I surmised that maybe that Maki and Mello are people interested with what my father does as chief of police. But I still get the vague impression that they also want something from me. What could it be..?

I dozed off somehow and woke up the next day. It was a Sunday.

Something about that boy Mello didn't sit well with me. I keep thinking about their visit and I just can't wrap any theories on their purpose that would make sense. They said that they were going to meet us this afternoon. Maybe I should stop thinking much about it. I should form my conclusions when I see them again. My father might help too since I know he also gets suspicious around strangers especially this kind.

My father said that they set up a meeting place. It's a coffee shop on the far end corner of the second street away from our lot. We walked for ten minutes and reached the said shop. My father ordered some drinks as we sat there and waited for them. Two minutes after and they arrived. Most people looked since Mello is somebody you don't miss in a crowd. He doesn't blend. He's either too sinister-looking with his tight jeans and the unmistakable scar on his face or too European to be missed here in this city. Maki was half-Japanese and she looked pleasant. She was a little nervous though with her companion since she kept silently glaring at him, as if trying to tell him to quit standing out. It's way too impossible for Mello. He's just so noticeable, that's all.

"Good morning, Maki-san, Mello-kun." My father rose up to greet them. Mello immediately sat across me and slumped forward to give my father a smirk. My father wasn't that intimidated but he stared back gravely.

Maki started explaining. She didn't even order first. It's clear she wants to get to her point. "I contacted your headquarters a week ago, Yagami-san. You know why we're here now, don't you?"

My father nodded. I was perplexed with this conversation.

"I think I should start from the beginning," Maki kept her hands on her lap and her eyes still. Even in broad daylight her face looks a little stale. There was something about it that tells me what she would say next might just change my life, like one of those cliché things in TV and movies.

And it did.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

My coffee was getting cold. I was too absorbed with what Maki was saying to even care. It's a good thing we sat on a corner where nobody was sitting too close to us. In this small space I feel a little chilly and I don't know why. Mello wasn't even saying anything. His arm was raised on the ledge and he was biting rather noisily on his chocolate bar. He seemed to be paying attention to the other empty table than to what his companion was saying. I, on the other hand, was unable to take my concentration to some other safe place. What she was saying is too unsettling.

My father has the same level of focus. He had this fingers interlaced with each other. His eyes were deep and almost hazy. He adjusted his eyeglasses once or twice.

"I've heard quite stories about him, Maki-san," my father's voice was almost too low to hear, "stories which celebrate his success as a detective. Is it true that this is what he wants?"

Maki nodded. "There are many governments agencies who have decided on letting him be in charge of this particular operation. The FBI—" her voice lowered, "is also cooperating with him for many months now. The cases were going unsolved and we admit that we're in the dead end and that is why we need more agents to go about."

"Why my son, Maki-san?"

They both glanced at me. I tried to look calm but a wave of thoughts spread on my whole system. I thought about my priorities as a student and the future I could have if I accepted this proposal. It seems too risky and questionable to me.

I decided to speak up. "Fresh agents and young ones at that, Maki-san? Isn't that conceited and clumsy?"

I heard Mello snort a laugh. He said nothing.

Maki answered me sternly. "I knew it appears ridiculous to you but policies change when they need to. We've been rushing, we know and we're evaluating young people who excel in their schools and also those who have family background on law or any high organization. We're desperate, yes. Measures are changing as well."

"It's too easy," I shook my head, crossing my arms. My father watched me as I continue to speak. "Maki-san, I can see you're being serious with this but picking up confused teens and putting them on dangerous schemes is a bit fouler than making young boys soldiers and sending them to a senseless war."

I sounded polite but my words, I knew, stung. Mello glared hard on me. I held the glare fiercely as well.

"You must be in quite a mess." I continued, speaking to Maki but looking at Mello. "Whichever case, I don't want to get involved. My father doesn't want to get involved. There might be a national crisis but I'm not prepared to work with powerful agencies. I'm more preoccupied with my personal obligations. Gomen, Maki-san, we decline profusely."

"Ah, fuck you." Mello didn't even try to hide his dismay. He didn't bother speaking in Japanese either. "You're a pussy, Yagami."

"This isn't a Tom Clancy novel where you can get good kids to do dirty work for a political price." I answered back calmly. "This isn't fiction. I'm not the stupid protagonist swayed by a moral crisis."

"Fuck you, don't be a smartmouth." Mello slammed his fist on the table. My father didn't flinch and nor did I. Maki said nothing in defense. "We didn't make a mistake, Yagami. We chose you. Either you shut your pompous, lame ass mouth and comply or I have to take your whole family hostage. That happens not only in fiction, Yagami. What you read is not even close to what happens when men like me start ripping apart what is left with your life."

"Threats won't be necessary," my father answered this time in English. He was leaning on the edge now. "My son and I have nothing else to say to you. Here are your options: get out of the country or you will have the whole NPA chasing after your tails. Would that be necessary for me to do, Maki-san?"

Maki was sitting almost without care in the world. She closed her eyes and sighed. Then she opened them again and replied directly to me. "We will have you come to us, Yagami-kun."

I raised an eyebrow. "For your own good, Maki-san, and you too, Mello, I hope to never see you again."

"We will have you come to us, Yagami-kun," Maki said again as she stood up and bowed to my father. Mello scoffed and finished his chocolate bar.

He grinned at me. "See you soon, pussy-wuss."

And they disappeared again.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

I started to ponder about them for the longest time even during school when I'm inside the classroom and most especially when I'm doing nothing. After almost two days I thought that maybe they've given up but powerful wouldn't stop until they get their hands on what they want. So this isn't over. Technically, things are just starting to spice up. The problem is I'm not sure it's to my advantage.

On a warm Tuesday, I walked Sayu to her friend's house for a sleepover. My father was working late like the same evenings and my mother was just watching the television when I left her.

"If there is anything that's bothering you, you can tell me." Sayu can be sometimes perceptive but rarely. This is the wrong time for her to be.

"Relax, I'm doing just fine." I kissed her on the cheek and watched her enter the house before I started to head back. It was early and I can still get a heads-up on my Chemistry project. As I was turning to a corner, I saw Mello.

"Get your ass here," he wasted no time on greetings. I hesitated for a moment but I took the risk and obeyed him.

Standing just a yard from him, he took something from those ridiculously-tight jeans of his and threw it at me. My instinct was to grab it, of course. I looked down at what I was holding. "And this is—"

"A transmitter. Put it on your ear and then press the button."

I tried not to roll my eyes as I did this. This casual drop-bys are starting to bore me. "And then?"

"Listen."

"I am. Nothing."

"Did you press the button?"

"Oh, right." I languidly pressed the said button. I saw him roll his eyes.

There was faint static on the other end. Then a distorted voice spoke in Japanese. "Good evening, Yagami-kun."

"Good evening."

"You're not making things easier."

I responded nothing. I kept my eyes on Mello the whole time. He was leaning on a post, digging for his chocolate, no doubt. I listened again to the speaker.

"This isn't a real choice for you. You have no available options."

"And—?"

"Are you aware of the global intervention unit?"

I sighed. "Yes, I'm aware. And this has something to do with what you're going to tell me."

"No. Just checking."

I didn't respond to that again. Mello was on his second chocolate bar already.

"Do you like winter or summer?"

I raised an eyebrow slightly. "Winter."

"Why?"

"No school."

"Don't you like school?"

"Yes."

"What's your favorite show?"

"_Dexter_."

"What is that?"

"It's about a forensic blood expert named Dexter Morgan. He hunts and kills criminals who get away with the law."

"Interesting choice."

"Thank you."

As much as I'm mystified with these questions and more significantly, who I'm talking to, I allowed the speaker to interrogate me nonetheless until he reveals his objectives. I was patient enough.

"Yagami-kun, I think you know who I am."

"I'm taking a wild guess right about now."

"You are correct."

"I'm still not joining your squad."

"I have no squad."

"Then what I am joining?"

"A recruit agency."

"I'm not joining your recruit agency."

"Do you like chess?"

"Yes, especially when I win."

"We all like to win. I know you do as well, Yagami-kun. One thing you should know about me is I cannot lose, not with the current status and scenarios presented. Listen well, Yagami-kun. You are to pack your things and follow Mello to the airport. You are not to say a word to your father. I shall deal with him."

"I don't trust you. I don't know you."

"You know me."

"I don't trust you."

"Do you trust Mello?"

"No, I don't trust Mello."

The blond boy gave me the finger. I smiled back at him.

"You are to pack your things and follow Mello to the airport. You are not to say a word to your father."

"Are you forcing me out of my will—?"

"Ryuuzaki. You may call me that."

I looked at Mello's face. His face was unreadable. I coughed slightly and removed the transmitter. I handed it back to him. He didn't take it. I shrugged my shoulders and placed the transmitter inside my pocket. Then I walked back home, with Mello trailing behind, not even making an effort to stop me. I opened the door and saw my mother has fallen asleep while watching. I turned off the television and kissed her forehead. I went to my room.

I sat down on the bed. I placed the transmitter back again.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes, Yagami-kun?"

"If I don't do this, what am I to expect?"

"Brute force."

"Won't you want me to come complacently?"

"I prefer that, actually. Will you grant me that?"

I debated. I looked at my desk. "What do you mean you will deal with my father?"

"Yagami-kun, someday you won't have all the answers."

I walked to the closet and started taking my shirts and pants. I looked for the luggage underneath my bed. "I admit I'm curious."

"And ambitious."

"Well, yes."

"I can't promise that you will be glorified with your efforts but I am exchanging full confidentiality on your skills."

"Skills? You have an evaluation sheet for that?" I started packing.

"We'll see."

I finished packing. I went outside and locked the doors. I saw Mello with a motorcycle from nowhere. He started the engine and waited for me to climb up.

"Don't you have somewhere more comfortable to put my luggage on, Mello-kun?" I asked politely.

"Fuck off and just hold onto it." He started to drive.

"I see I get no helmet." I said louder as the win gushed noisily as we drove.

I took off the transmitter for a while until we reached the airport. Once we were on the airport, Mello finally helped me carry my bag (well, he dragged it on the floor.) I saw Maki waiting for us in some kind of a private plane. I moved slowly towards her and bowed my head as a greeting. She bowed back and took my luggage from Mello. The boy climbed up without further preamble and the rest of the trip was filled with tense silence. I placed back the transmitter.

"Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Hai, Yagami-kun?"

"I don't want to see you do something threatening so I came here willingly. I deduced that you may not make it easy for me. But this is something to consider as abduction, only your prisoner is giving you the go-card."

"I have surmised that. Yagami-kun is very obedient. This is also an ironic situation. Given the status, it is necessary measure."

I rested my head on my seat and closed my eyes. "Do you like chess?"

"Yes, in fact."

"Summer or winter?"

"Rains."

I sighed. I looked across the dark skies and searched for a star. I saw nothing. I crossed my arms. "I'll be seeing you then?"

Static. Then a soft chuckle.

**XXX**

**Francesca will be returning on the next chapter. I apologize for the delayed gratification.**


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